MaxV

Very interesting. I myself do not have any bad issues with coffee. But i can relate with the 'i might be fooling myself into thinking i need this'. The only con i have is that i can get stomach cramps from time to time. Good luck on the challenge though. You can do it!

The Netherlands, near Rotterdam!

at day 6 at the moment. Been on this journey for 2+ years now. My longest streak is +60 days and i've had a variaty of both succesful moments and days/weeks with alot of fapping again. But in the overal sense i've changed quite drastically. In a good way. My 2 cents is not giving it too much time and attention. make a log about it, and keep going with other stuff. I've had moments i was obsessed with nofap and the idea that 'over there in the future i will feel good'. but i already realised with meditation and contemplation, that i can be happy right here and now !

So in the Netherlands we have this festival called Psy-fi. Its a psychedelic trance festival. or atleast the main genre is psy-trance. But there's alot of live music and other, more relaxing and chillstep/ambient like music too. in terms of general spirit, you could say that the festival is somewhat like Burning Man. But alot smaller. People come here from all over the world for a week to just enjoy life and beingness. Its like a community. You have some places with dj's and dancing. You've got some kind of market with people selling all kinds of supplies and clothing (all nature friendly). Most of the food you can buy is vegetarian/vegan too. Its open 24/7 and there's a large campsite build around the festival terrain. You just place your tents (i had one made from cardboard!) wherever you want and be. People come and go and you make friends easily. If you don't want to dance all days you can attend all kinds of lectures and workshops. The workshops mainly focused on meditation and yoga. And the lectures where about love, opening yourself up, Drug harm reduction, general information about drugs (Like Mdma psilocybine, weed and lsd), consciousness and more. Very interesting. Talking about drugs. Like the festival name would almost give it away.. the drugs of choice are Mushrooms/truffles and weed. Mdma was quite plentiful too. You could even buy psychedelic truffles at the mainstage it self! and there was this local smartshop at the marketplace with people ready to help you through every step to have a good trip. And i haven't seen anyone having badtrips or mis behaving at all! I've been to all kinds of weird festivals where shit hitted the fan. But here its all peace, harmony and looking out for eachother. They even made a magic forest. This was a pretty big forest like place made for tripping. There where beautiful lights everywhere and they made it cozy at pretty much every spot so you could just sit down and relax. And everyone welcomed you when you joined. I've visited the festival for 6 days in 2018 and i was mindblown. I wasn't aware of spiral dynamics and such and if i look back now i still was kinda orangish/green. I was already experimenting with psychedelics and learning about all these things of consciousness, but the moment i set foot here i was kinda terrified. Because suddenly everyone around me was kinda like me. I felt quite scared at first, and it took me some days to really feel at home. But boy when that happened it was amazing. i will definitely visit the party this year aswell but i will visit more lectures. There where some amazing guru's who i missed because i wanted to dance all day. When i look back i still was to resistant for these new things. I was too insecure for all this love and kindness (It looked too good to be true. But now i know people genuinely are like this sometimes and it seems more and more people start to become like this.) Here's the summary of 2017.

I'm not 100% sure (this movie probably also has some drops of green or maybe even some drops of turquoise), but a movie which absolutely screams yellow to me is Koyaanisqatsi. I have seen this at first as a kid and i was intrigued by it. And nowadays its one of my alltime favorites. The music is just timeless (Composed by Philip Glass) and the images themselves, in combination with the music, surely gives you one journey of visual and auditory impressions of how messed up society actually is.

Exactly. I had the same thing. But it made me more aware at the same time. It teached me that still have a long way to go. But it did gave me a very good feeling at the same time after watching more.

Greetings, Yesterday evening i had my first ever non-recreational psychedelic trip alone with magic truffles. This had to be one of the best and most profound experiences i had to date. Some background information: - I'm in my mid 20's and born and raised in The Netherlands. Psychedelics like magic truffles are legal in here. - i've done quite some substances and i've abuse some of those (alcohol, mdma). I recently stopped using anything because i realised i used most of these substances to run away from my insecurities. I'd only do psychedelics now and I'm not planning to use these recreational again (after this experience i cannot understand how these are even used in a recreational way to be honest) - i have some experience with psychedelics in the past too. But these were recreational experiences. Not anything really profound was experienced apart from some minor insights (i suddenly thought about how time is actually a strange phenomenon). The emphasis was more on the visuals themself. - I always considered myself to be an outsider, had troubles fitting in, people thought i was a weird guy being diagnosed with 'adhd' etc. Throughout my teen years i experienced alot of suffering and anxiety. I had a tendency to overthink pretty much everything and self sabotage was not uncommon to me. I only fairly recently discovered Eckhart Tolle and Actualized.org (last year in April). This happened after i got my heart broken by someone i really really liked. This probably is because of my own fault. Through the voice in my head i selfsabotaged the situation. Acting like a needy little bitch. which ultimately lead to the situation of her never wanted to see me again. I felt so utterly depressed by this situation that i started Googeling: how not to feel like shit. This ultimately lead me to The Power of Now and Leo's video about Self Acceptance (stop beating yourself up. And tearing yourself apart). Both Leo and ET blew my mind countless times. And i realized that i didn't even scratched the surface of this. Even after a year of learning, asking questions and experiencing. But i have to say my life today is miles ahead in terms of happiness , growth and personal developement. The Preparation: The dose was 15 grams (not dried) of 'Psilocybe Atlantis' magic truffles. I decided to make tea out of them. before the preparation i re-watched the video of Leo taking Mushrooms to give myself a better idea of what was going to happen. I felt ready to do this and was preparing the room which i wanted to trip with something to drink and eat and a bucket in case if i'd throw up. The lights are dimmed down (i have colored lights in my room) and i put some relaxing music in the background. After everything was set into place i added the truffles to the water and waited for about 20 minutes. The Trip: After i ingested the tea i started to feel some effects after about 20 minutes. It was a weird stoned like feeling and gradually intensified. After about an hour stuff really hit the fan and i felt my senses being sharpened in a way i never experienced before. This sense of bliss was felt through out my body and it was like i experienced consciousness outside of my body. it literally blew my mind in a way i just can't describe. I felt a complete oneness with everything in the room. At this pointed i started to get into some very profound thought patterns. I can't remember them all correctly anymore (some are just so deep its just not possible to describe this through words.) but the one that really struck me was: 'Nothing matters... Nothing really matters.. There is literally nothing to be afraid of. Life is beautiful as it is. There is no point in anything we do. We should 'be' instead of just 'doing'. I had these thoughts about how pointless society as it is now actually is. And that things can be so much better without all the idiocracy. One would think this would be an extremely depressing thoughtpattern but i felt really relieved and at peace thinking this. It was a really enlightening experience. Even though i was not enlightened. Allthough at some point i went to the bathroom to take a piss and i noticed myself in the mirror. This was a really interesting experience. As i genuinely felt like this was 'a body' instead of 'my body' The comprehension of this idea suddenly made alot of sense and this was also a very peacefull idea. Before this experience i liked the idea of what Leo tells in the Enlightenment video's. But after this experience i have a glimpse of what it actually feels like. At some point i was thinking about how masturbation and porn feels like (i'm on nofap experiment). If i was on a stimulant i would definitely fail the experiment. But the thoughts about masturbation quickly subsided. I suddenly noticed how egoish decisions suddenly did not compell me at all. As if there are far greater things to be done. This is a feeling that still sticks with me now. I had some really interesting thought patterns and experiences after which i simply cannot put into words. The only thing i have to say that this was simply the best most pro-found experience i had so far. This easily beats the first time XTC (which was fantastic too. But diffrenlty and without the cost of feeling like utter shit after). The day after: It took me a while to fall asleep but i slept like a baby. When i woke up i was a stil a bit tired but i felt refreshed and clear after i had some coffee. It really feels like my brain had a defragmentation and is cleaned from some negativity. I really feel like this changed something in me for the better. I realize this is only a very, VERY tiny aspect of the whole. But it surely did ignite a bigger spark in the journey of self actualization and reality.

Yeah this is an interesting coincidence.