T1r1on

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  1. Hello, like minded people and hopefully new friends. My name is Jeremy. I'm 24 and I've been doing personal development for almost 2 years now. I've had some ups and downs like I'm sure all of you have. I'm going to try to do a daily journal, but it all depends how things go for me. That said let me tell you a little bit about myself. Growing up my family moved around alot, so I was always the new kid. To top that off I was kind of a loner, and always bullied. But, I never let it get to me. I always knew that I would be moving eventualy anyway. I have always loved art. I started drawing when I was 6, and still do to this day. About 6 years ago I decided to take my art skillset to insane levels, so now I do graphic design, music, video, painting, sculpting, writing, and few strange off hand arts like blacksmithing, and luthery. A few of those I still consider myself a novice in, and now looking back I took on too much too fast. Especially when I started PD. The past year of my life has been crazy. I was working in the oilfield at the beginning. (You will never feel more out of place than doing PD in the oilfield) Then I got laid-off. Honestly I've never been happier than that moment they said "we have to let you go." I was like FREEDOM!!! Then I started unemployment. I used this time to learn as much as I could, but sadly it wasn't long enough. Now I'm working at a dead end job through a temp agency. I have never worked so hard for so little. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Here in the next week or two I'll be starting some affiliate marketing. If all goes well I might be able to generate enogh to quit this pointless job.
  2. I helped my sister with her larp today. It ate a pretty good chunk of it. Then I played D&D until 1 am with some friends. So, not much really happened today. And yesterday was mostly reading and research. I did burn some audio books to listen to in my car.
  3. The past couple days have been rough. I decided to go a day without sleep so I can get up at reasonable times. 1 in the afternoon is a little ridiculous. But, staying up until 5 is also. I guess I'm just a night owl. Anyway I'm going to keep this short. I made it to chapter 3 on the book this morning. And I weny to a monster truck rally this evening. It made staying awake quite easy.
  4. Today was awesome but strange. I've had this strange feeling all day. It's honestly a new one. It's kind of like patient determination. I'm calm and motivated at the same time. I like it but it's still new. This morning or well this afternoon when I woke up I went straight into learning new stuff. I signed up for a few webinars about public speaking, life coaching, business, marketing, etc. I also took a few yesterday. As a matter of fact, I stayed up until 5am taking notes and expanding on everything else I've already learned. I'm at the point that I'm ready to just start something. I've learned a ton, but it's not helping me to just learn. I've also been thinking of how I can get people together in person. I live in a little town with nothing to do, so I have to create somthing, and my bugget is $0.45. (Lol) But where there is a will there is a way. And, I'm resourceful enough to figure it out. I just need to set aside some time to think it out. Who knows maybe I'll spin that 45 cents into a couple hundred. Needless to say I have some pondering to do.
  5. @Yukise99 honestly right of the bat he gives a pretty good way to go about all of your personal development processes. I've only skimmed the first chapter so far. So, nothing yet. I didn't get a chance to read yesterday or today. I attended some webinars that I signed up for earlier this week. But, I'll be reading it in the morning, so I'll give you something tomorrow.
  6. Today we ramped up the workout. I'm so freaking sore. I drive a standard car, and the clutch was amazingly hard. Every time I touched it my whole leg trembled. But tomorrow I get to stretch the muscles, and that feels so good. I did more studying on life coaching and started reading How to win friends and influence people. It's quite good so far. In all I would say it was a pretty good day. Now all have to do is stay on the rise. Honestly, I've left myself little else to do. So it's be productive or sit in a room by myself for a long period of time doing nothing.
  7. Today went awesome. I'm almost done with the LPC. I learned some awesome information. And I gained some wisdom. I just finished the me sheet on the LPC. I only have a little left to go. And I'm already seeing some results just from getting that info down. I can't wait to see what it'll be like when I finish. I've been learning as much as I can about life coaching. And I found an awesome YouTube channel about it. I taught me alot more today. I'm excited to see where this takes me.
  8. I got some designs up finally. And the first store is up and running. All I have to do is start the other one and a few other smaller projects, and I may be able to start bringing in some money. After marketing of course. Needless to say I have alot to do. But, after I get them going it won't take much to maintain them, so it's a ton of effort now for smooth sailing later. Or, well for a little while. Really I'm just trying to get 10,000$ so I can become a certified coach. Speaking of coaching, my friend and his wife are doing really good. His wife told me they haven't been this happy since they got married. I'm not sure if that's just them exaggerating or if it's actually how they feel, but it gives me a huge confidence boost. I've also been mostly listening to them for an hour a couple times a week, individually. I got to play some D&D with a few friends today. It was ok. Our DM is fairly new and he hasn't quite wrapped his head around everything yet. But, regardless it was fun. We had some crazy little adventures and laughed a lot. To me that's what it's all about.
  9. @Yukise99 Discipline for the win. Keep it up. I know that when I started limiting my self I got to where any time I played I would just beat myself up kinda. Just a heads up, maybe. You might not.
  10. Ooh, side note. As I've been getting rid of distractions I noticed something quite amazing. I'm completely at peace with whatever happens to me. I don't worry about loosing my car, house, Internet, etc. It's all just stuff. To top it all off I've built a complete trust in myself to handle the "worse case scenarios." It's really an amazing state to be in. Also I find pleasure in standing against the tides of adversity. It brings a certain type of beauty into my life. Perhaps I'm doing better than I thought I was. Also, I'm going to create some art that depicts these emotions. I'll post them as I go. It'll be a better way to see a more raw side of me.
  11. I fucked up today. Instead of doing something productive I just screwed around. Don't get me wrong I still did all the basic things I've been doing, but instead of using my time to further myself I watched a movie and alot of YouTube. The upside is the little I did acompplish was really powerful. I finally boiled down my zone of genius to 1 thing. It was a tie between 3 things. And now I figured out the one I want to go with. I tell you when I finsh my life purpose. I've been wanting to meet some new people and maybe get a girlfriend. But, I live in a little town where there is absolutely nothing to do, unless you like going to dive bar's. I don't drink so that's not the best place. Anyway I've decided to start something myself. Instead of going to the people, I will bring them to me. I haven't figured out how I'll do it, but rest assured it will happen.
  12. I found an interesting new hobbie. I enjoy making lether stuff. I'll just add that to the list of artistic hobbies I have. This one however I can actually make some money doing. The workouts are going good I've raised the bar again. And, I can feel it. My favorite part is stretching the sore muscles. It feels so good. I don't own a scale so, I can't really track my weight. I can measure waist and such to see, but I kinda like the supprise. My friend and his wife are doing great now. It really didn't take much. All I really did was shine a little light on some of their little issues, and suggest some little activities to bring in some variety. I also suggested they read a book together. I took my meditation to the next stage. I'm meditating a few times a day with a 20 minute minimum. It's going quite well. I'm also quitting smoking. I have to take a cold turkey approach and just keep myself in check.
  13. I've been busy the past couple days. I've been getting some stuff up and running. Tweaking my workout plan. I'm coaching my friend and his wife. Plus I've been doing a ton of research on communication. It's been busy, but so rewarding. I've been waking up at 7 or 8 and going to bed at like 4 am. It's starting to get to me. But, that's what naps are for. Plus I've been getting alot done, so it helps push me forward. The coaching is actually going pretty well. They've gotten over a bunch of the little problems and are starting to work on the bigger ones. It's really cool how listening and gentle guidance can make such a huge impact.
  14. I got quite a bit done today. I've been making drawings for my fiver gig, and I'm up to 4. I wanted to make 6 and pick the best out of them. Two left to go. I've also been doing alot of research on a lot of stuff. Tomorrow I'm going to do some planning and other stuff. The workout is going great. It's pretty tough to be honest. And I learned some stuff today that I'm going to implement. I'm really excited about trying it. I'm also really sore from it. But, you have to give your body a reason to grow. The cool part is I made it so that I don't have to go to the gym. It's mostly body weight and bumbells. Right now that works, but I weigh 300, so as I loose weight I'll have to add it back. I've figured for all this though. I have a strategy in place for when certain criteria are met. Stack all that with cleaning up my diet, and it should work quite well.
  15. Well the past few days have been interesting. I quit my job. I've started changing things in my life. And, I've gotten a lot of things done. So, far as my job goes, I got tired of the continuous cycle of bull shit. I was working to pay for the car I needed to get to work. I was getting pushed into cycles of repetitive blame and traps. And, I just lost my give-a-damn. I'm totally cool with losing shit I don't need. It can only push me further into what I should be doing. On the flip side I do have a kinda job lined up. It's not stable at all, but I will helping a friend and I'll lime what I'm doing. It's just driving. But, I really like driving around. I've been changing alot of my habits. I figured out how I work. I can add a new habit, but getting rid of the old ones is the hard part. So, I'm adding new ones that counter, or obliterate the old ones. Plus I have some that I've been working on, so I'm a step ahead. I've been taking a new attitude towards handling things. I used to put things off, or wait for the issues to solve themselves, but that's not getting me anywhere. So I just started doing them right then. It works. It cuts out all the extra shit that gets added on top. So, I can't forget about things. I've also started a morning workout routine. I've lost 50 pounds over the past few months doing nothing particularly special, so I decided to up the ante. My goal is to lose all the extra weight. I want to be healthy for once in my life. I see it as 50 down 100 to go.
  16. I noticed something kind of funny. When I talk to myself I reference me as we. So instead of saying to myself I'm going to....... I say we are going to....... When i notice it I'm all like who is we? Maybe there's a reason for it, or maybe I'm just insane. I don't know. Maybe someone on here does. I've been busting my ass the past couple days. I'm working on a few things and they're coming along nicely. The only downside is the 2 or 3 am bedtimes with a 6 am alarm. I'm pooped. Ha, that's a funny saying. I wander where it came from. I may research this later. It can only add to the surplus of menial triva rattling around in my head.
  17. I've been quite productive today. And it was fun. I drew a roaring lion tribal design. It took almost half the day to do, but it was worth it. I also got a new job. It's pilot service for oversized loads. All I do is drive around pretty much. It's not that stable however. So, I'm putting a whole bunch of my plans in action. I'm trying to get at least 4 sources of income. Then I'll start growing them. I listened to motivational speeches all day. I'm starting to see the over arching principles that get covered. I've also wrote some of them down. I'm making my own sort of life guide. It'll awsome once I finish it. I didn't have another nightmare last night. The one I had the day before was just horrible. I'm not going to go into the details, but I will say that there was mutation. I remember say that's enough of this one and consciously waking myself up. That's bthe first time I've ever done that. Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I'm turning in my 2 week notice and after I get off I'm going to bist my ass getting my gig set up. Honestly all this change scares the shit out of me, but breaking through it and pushing my boundaries is the only path I have myself. It's grow or die. Plus, I work best under pressure. It's kind of funny how I can be scared, excited, driven, optimistic, and content all at the same time.
  18. Have you ever had something sitting right in front of your face and missed it? I did. I've always been really good at drawing tribal tattoo designs. And the other day I was doodling one. Then it came to me. Why don't I design these for othe people? And that's what I've been up to for the past few days. I decided to go through fiverr to do it. I'm about 3/4 of the way done getting my media prepared. All I have left is editing a video. Then it's off to marketing. It may seem like I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and honestly that's kind of how it feels. But, I do have a strategy. And, this is phase 2.5ish (lol). I've got a ways to go, but 1 step at a time. Now I'm going to bed. Hopefully I won't another nightmare tonight.
  19. @Yukise99 that was a challenge for me as well. I would get in slumps where all I wanted to do is play video games, but I've got bigger fish to fry. And I needed the money. Every thing is going to hell in a hand basket where I'm at. It's really helped though, and I don't miss it as much as I thought I would.
  20. I've figured some things out. Now I'm taking action. I have a list of things that I wish had done years ago, but I can only work with what I have. Im going to do these and I should start seeing some changes. Now the only distraction I really have left is my cell phone. I sold the ps4 yesterday. This will be another short one. The longer I'm on here the longer I have to stay up.
  21. Today I was reminded of my mortality. We had a tornado about 1 mile from us. I also learned that I don't have an attachment to any possessions. It's all just stuff. That's all I really did today. That and work.
  22. I can't wait to help my sister finish her books for her larp. I've already picked a character and now it's I'm reaserching stuf for it. It's going to be awsome. My creative juices are flowing. I've been reading Total Recall. It's an autobiography about Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is awsome at the things he does. He just uses bodybuilding techniques on life. Reps and sets then you grow. It's kind of like failing forward, but in a different way. I'm starting to back slide on some things. I've been wasting the little time I have at the end of my days on pintrest. I need to re-double my efforts and change my rules a little. But, on the flip side I've been eliminating more distractions. It'll help me focus more. I'm actually kind of excited that I'm broke. It's wierd at first glance, but that means I only have one direction to go from here. Not only that, but when I look at things from a big picture stand point it's always been like this. I guess it's kind of like it just changed to spring and I'm planting seeds. Now all I have to do is keep watering them. And, the seeds are like bamboo. It take constant watering and care, but after it hits a certain piint the bamboo grows super fast. Looking forward I can see how it'll work, but now I have to stay the course and be deliberate in my actions. That's why I felt the need to eliminate things from my life. It sucked and some things hurt a little, but I'm willing to do what is required of me to achieve my goals.
  23. This week has been strange. I was affected by the bug, so that sucked. Then I got locked out of my affiliate site kind of. Then I got locked out of my car, house, and a few other things. I'm declaring this the week of locks. It gets funny after a while. My sister went through a doubt phase. She stopped working on her idea and almost gave up. Then we had a fight and told her some things she didn't want to hear. After a few hours of mowing it over and being pissed at me she got it. Now things are back to normal. And she's passionate about it again. It's kinda funny how I know more about her than I do myself. I feel kind of lost. I know I need to find my passion but I'm starting to think it's something obscure. I need to have more introspecting and visualization time. I don't give myself enough time for them, so I'm going figure out how I'm going change that. Maybe it'll help shed some light on what I should do. Someone to talk to would be nice too, but most of us know how that is. I'm getting rid of my game system. Any more it just seems to be a constant pull to a distraction. Plus I need the money. I don't want to, but when I way it out that's the verdict. It's not like I won't be able to get one in the future. And I have other things I can do in the leasure time that I don't seem to have. Really it's more like I'm losing an adiction. I've carefully weighed it out, and affiliate marketing does not suit me. I hate it. I have learned quite a few things from it though. So, bonus points for knowledge. I have a list of other things I can try, so I'm going to move on. Who knows maybe I'll find a winner.
  24. @Lynnel I'm really not in much pain. I just get frustrated and vent on here from time to time. I didn't think there was anyone who actually read my journal. Really the problems I have are minor inconveniences. I can solve most of them with reletive ease. With the exception of my mom. That's going to take some work. So far as the life coaching goes that's a little way down the road. I'm learning stuff now, but it's mostly for me to use on myself. I really don't give much advice either. I think you're talking about the coment "I've learned so much and it never seems to help." What I meant here was very broad. I meant things like marketing, business, design, etc. I know alot about this stuff, but it takes time to see the results. Honesty my complaint was just me being a whiney bitch for a few minutes. As were most of the complaints.
  25. I set up another affiliate website. I'm marketing camping tents, backpacks, and sleeping bags. I finished the site at about 3am yesterday and I did some backlinking today. I still have a bit to do, but it is going pretty good. I haven't checked to see if I've made any sales yet, but I doubt I have. I haven't gotten it high enough on Google. I'm aiming for first page. Ohh, the site is campingear.net. I'm also going to start making some t-shirts and stuff. (Not about the camping site) I've pondered whether or not I'm getting to ahead of myself, then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I have these ideas for a reason. So, writing a book, making a youtube channel, affiliate marketing, desining shirts, and a few other things might sound like I'm being too diverse, but I know the limits of my capabilities are far higher then I can estimate. And, sure like anyone else I have bad days, but I'm not going let that get in my way. It's not like I haven't done these things before. When I look at it, this the easy stuff. Setting up a private school is going to be way more difficult these things. And, it's going to require me to know more than what I currently do. The same goes for being a life coach. I know I have to get my life in order before I start. I never said I was going to do it now, but that doesn't mean I'm not working toward it. I've learned that there is no such thing as too small a step toward your goals. I just have to be a stratigic mother fucker as I do it. I've changed my inner vocabulary. Instead of saying "I wish, I can't, I want, I should, etc" I've been actively changing to "I will, I can, I'm going to, until, I must, etc". I've been working on it for about 2 weeks now, and I'm starting to see some changes. My procrastination has been dropping, and I've been handling things. It's funny how simply changing a few phrases can get you so much.