Alien

I just cant seem to get handle on this work. Ive got a list of contemplation topics,meditation ,self inquiry exercises all this stuff . But one thing (which may be a sensitive topic) is masturbation. It takes away my stress ,but also whenever in telling me : ok now its time to inquire , I think , well nooo masturbation is much more relaxing and stuff . And then I dont meditate or contemplate. It really is unmotivating

@Leo Gura I am sometimes VERY concerned about what is going to happen next in "my" life . But I started to notice and realise that there is really nothing in control ,like, REALLY! . If the entirety of reality is ONE THING...then what the fuck am I even worrying about ,its all infinite and percisley the way it should be .I am not at a pont where nothing worrys me, in fact far away from that??. But It dawned on me that there simply are no "problems" in life. Just curious to hear your guys opinions on that

@Leo Gura in an episode ,I dont know which one, you said that it is important to not let meditation or inquiry or any other technique to become mechanic. Now ,im at a point where I do meditation/self inquiry dayli, yet I have the feeling its becoming a thing of "do it so that its done and you can cross it on the checklist" type of thing. What alternatives do I have besides sitting down in the same place and posture ? (Sry for my English if its incorrect, im german?)

@Joseph Maynor thank you a lot! I also see as I apply awareness in my dayli routine, that i Ioose interest in stuff like TV,junk food and other stuff

@shamaanitar thanx I will remember that ❤?

Just curious, is there really not a way to somehow describe absolute infinity ?

@Leo Gura so i just had my session of inquiry. i contemplated like, what are thoughts, and , isnt that a thought? and that too is a thought! and suddenly my body shook and i slammed my eyes open . i had no control over it. what was that? to me it felt like "i" caught the ego tricking me and "it" got scared?