SuperMilkbox

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About SuperMilkbox

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  1. I've been accused a lot of having no empathy. I don't display much emotion physically. I don't understand those claims. When I do feel emotion, it's very intense. Often, I am in a neutral state of mind for lack of better words. More often than not, I can't describe it past that point. Although I feel every typical emotion - anger, sadness, happiness, ect. I have also been accused of having sycophantic and sociopath tendencies. I do not, to my understanding, minipulate people. When I lie, it's for comedic effect. An example, but not an accurate one would be - ''Who are the last cookie'' and I, with crumbs on my person, would say ''Not me'' Obviously there are some instances where I'd outright lie, but only because the situation is not a good one for anyone. An example would be ''Would you donate or be interested in'' and saying you have no money on you, to get them to go away. I know I have a higher opinion of myself than most people. Mostly in the sense of, I will succeed. I will achieve those goals. And I will dedicate myself enough to achieve what those are. I do very well in a lot of areas because of it. Now that I am not sure is a trait. I just saw it more often than not as confidence. When someone reads a message and doesn't reply, I often wonder if they like or care about me, especially if it goes on for a few hours. I understand everyone is busy, but sometimes when it's a question, it makes me anxious. I realise this forum is not based around the topic I have presented. I've followed Leo for about 4 years now, and I listen often enough. A lot of what Leo has said has made a huge impact on my life, in terms of physical and mental stability. I have a long way to go to reach the goals I want. The videos that have been published by Leo have helped me to some extent - such as letting go. That's enabled me to actually view myself in a different light. A lot of them, I believe, have developed me.
  2. I think I am a narcissist. I've taken a few online tests, and I am usually at the lower end of them. I can't put my finger on what elements of myself I need to work on to not be a narcissist. I often worry, deep down, about how others feel about me, but not in a vanity sense. It's more like, I hope I'm not annoying them. I don't want to exploit people. I don't manipulate people. I enjoy being with friends and having fun. I want to make people around me my friends. I want to make them happy. I don't often talk about my achievements, but if someone asks, I can talk for a while about them. I am continually trying to be a better person each day. I often ask people about themselves, what they do, what they enjoy. I want to learn new skills and I enjoy going to people more skilled than I to achieve that. Some people have also accused me of being a sociopath, but I don't know why. I am always concerned and blaming myself for everything, but only when something goes wrong. Even if the other person could be to blame, I'll point to myself. I think I have a lot of empathy. I love my dog with all my heart, and she's my best friend. I am always worried about people and always wanting to make sure they are okay. I get upset easy and I feel emotions very intensely. I have a large vocabulary. My mother often accuses me of trying to be better than most people. This isn't my intention. I try to speak as authentically and congruently as I can. My intention is never to make anyone feel stupid. It's times like this, where I question my place in society. I am usually very good at some things, and often I am the leader in a group. Usually I am appointed it. I don't ask to, but if no one wants to be the leader in a group, I will take the initiative. I don't put others down. I don't insult others. I talk to as many people as I can, and I like to smile and let them talk. Rarely do I actually say much, unless asked. Recently, someone who I thought was my friend came out and said they wasn't. I've lived the past 5 years, spending two days a week thinking this person was my friend. This person, far as I know, hasn't given me any indication of this. In fact, the people in the same group seem to not have noticed either. No one approached me and said I did anything wrong. All I wanted to do was fit in, and be a part of the group. I've looked but I haven't found anything, but has Leo done any videos on this topic? Or are there good ones online? I'm at a super low point right now. I want to find something to help or make me understand myself.