haai14

@sevi Its not that when i lose my self im giving, i just start acting what im not because if i keep my self we would have different oppinions and it would mean that i need to stand up for my oppinions and im scared of it. Its like i just throw my self away and listen to them and just answer what i find normal and not what i really think.

Could i be going thru dark night of the soul but never before had any spiritual awakenings?

im on this path for about 1 year and in the last 6 months im having periods of about 5 6 days whit strong negative emotions, depression, social anxiety and fear. I feel so not in touch whit reality, in a day i feel like i lived 5 different lives. I cant find joy in anything. Im still being productive (meditating, exercise, cold showers...). I didnt have any spiritual awakenings before. Could this be dark night of the soul or some strong purging process. Its hard for me to accept that all this negativity is just for nothing.

@Martin123 im on this path for about 1 year and in the last 6 months im having periods of about 5 6 days whit strong negative emotions, depression, social anxiety and fear. I feel so not in touch whit reality (for example if im in a room i dont feel that im in that room, i know i am but not feeling it), in a day i feel like i lived 5 different lives.If you ask me how im feeling i couldnt tell anything that would be true, i just dont know. Cant communicate whit people because i think im just in a different world. I cant find joy in anything. Im having hard time concetrating (its even hard for me to listen to music because cant concetrate on the sounds). Im still being productive (meditating, exercise, cold showers...). I didnt have any spiritual awakenings before. Its hard for me to explain i need time to process this.

Strong negative emotions will hit you (very hard purging procces) but after that you are having orgasm every second :P. I did shrooms and when on a solo 10 day retreat. But im in a very weird mental place right now and shrooms hit me really weird. i just produced weird voices and then weirdly laughed and felt very strong negative emotion. I was half concious thru the trip and wasnt aware of anything. very weird expirience. a lot of weirds here lol :P. I really dont understand whats happening to me right now.

No prob man . Im yet to have any experience thats closly related to enlightment and i really want one to know im on the right path. But be ready for kundalini activation its not a fun proces

I think its kundalini awakening. its close to what you are saying https://theyogalunchbox.co.nz/kundalini-awakenings-symptoms-process-benefits-support-help/ but its not active yet, you just awakened it once. I have 0 experience whit this so i can easily bee really wrong, i just watched some people that talked about it.

Our whole reality is created in our minds. So maybe the realization that we are all one is that other people are just concept in our heads and not them.

I'm putting new habits in to place and i was wandering if this is a important one to add? anyone had good shifts after doing it for some time?

I think the title explains everything.

i dont understand how to solve some problems in me, like for example i judge a lot and im mindfull of it and usually i get to the root of it (im judging because im afraid he will damage my ego or something like that) but i dont know how to change it. just being mindfull is enough? or i need to do some action.

When i see my self doing something egoic like judging, being fearful or something else should i just be mindfull and dont change my behaviour and watch my self doing it or is it better to stop doing it. Because in one of his videos he said awerness alone is curitive so is it better that way or stoping the behaviour.

Sometimes i get a taught like why i did something that i did or why i was behaving like i did, but i can easily question and doubt it and i dont trust it . Does real insight feel 100% true.

In the past 1 year i get hits of anxiety, fear and everyithing feels so depressed negative and overwelming. But i dont get any accociated taught with it i just feel it. Also i get hits that last 3-4 days that i feel completly lost, for example if im in my house i dont feel that im in the house i cant feel anything,. if im listening to a song i can only hear 1 seconds of it then the next 3 im completly lost and aware of nothing and then i can again 1 second. Is that purging or just my mind fking up. because on some days im completly normal i just dont understand why this is hitting me. its hard for me to explain its just weird.

can i only do this meditation or i need to switch sometimes.

i find the only differnce between these to is that you need to be awere of the moment in that one and in do nothing you dont. is that right? i mean in both you completle surrender the ego and stop controling it.

if i get to the root of it for example im judging because... will that awernes and knowing the root autofix the problem?