Forestluv

Yes, intellectual yellow has not embodied green. It can be heartbreaking. If someone wants to be involved with healthy green, I would recommend getting involved with a breath group online. I live in a small isolated town and there aren't any spiritual groups here. At times, I wish we could have a small heart-centered group that meets and does some type of spiritual ritual. Breathing, chanting, meditation, sharing - whatever. I've been a mod for over three years on the forum and have spent about 20 hrs/week diving deep into who gets shunned, warned and banned. I'm the one who often does it. I know the insides well and know what cannot be said. My voice would try to unite the group very differently than Leo. My approach would balance intellect and heart. Yet Leo wants to coalesce everyone around his intellectual constructs and protect the community from outside threats. There is value in that. Yet my input would be seen as undermining that effort - especially coming from a mod. How can a heart-centered mod participate in a forum that lacks heart, emotional connection and empathy? And a forum in which the administrator doesn't value these components? After losing one of our beloved forum members due to jumping off a bridge, Leo posts how he is amused that he has to create a video telling us not jumping off a bridge and another video telling us not to stick our dicks in a woodchopper. This epitomizes lack of heart, emotional connection and empathy. Especially given that Sunny's sister came to the site to help us and was reading that thread. It's absolutely gut-wrenching. And Leo saw nothing wrong with it. He let it stand and he didn't contact me about it. A mod cannot hold Leo to a higher standard because in an authoritarian structure like Actualized, the ruler is the highest standard. No one is allowed to be at a higher standard to hold the ruler to a higher standard - even temporarily. Authoritarian structures have their advantages as well as drawbacks. I do not have the abilities / skills necessary to lead a community like Actualized.

Hey there. I loved your latest video on light and emotions. You have abilities in awareness / understanding of emotions and it's cool to see you create concepts that integrate intellect and emotions. A couple times on the forum, you've nudged me outside my intellectual comfort zone and got me reflecting. We need more Light on Earth in the forum and in the world

Thank you. I'm considering asking to be demoted from a mod to a regular user that hangs out in the journal section. Perhaps forming a mini community of people interested in integrating reason, intellect, empathy and emotion. I agree that @Emerald is at a high level in this area and I would be curious to hear her perspective on recent events.

Thank you. I consider you to be one of the minority on the forum that has empathic ability. And by empathic, I don't mean recognizing feelings exist nor compassion for others, nor an intellectual / conceptualization of empathy as the intellectuals love to do (ala Ken Wilber). Rather, I'm referring to a sensory ability related to knowing of experience and connectedness - of which I intuit you have some ability. Unfortunately, intellect bullies empathy. The forum has turned into intellectual masculine gladiation. Of course there is value in that, yet it has sucked out all the air out of the forum. The recent thread regarding community was a battle call for all hands on deck - Us vs the evil outsiders that want to use this event to harm us. There is some truth and value to that, yet heart, empathy, love, understanding, introspection, compassion and connection has all been marginalized. It has been taught here that external threats will reduce one's baseline conscious level. The same goes for collective conscious. Due to hyper yang entering, I've seen members write incredibly insensitive things that are hurtful to friends of Sunny and his family. I've seen levels of cynicism spike. Consider the below post made the day we learned of Sunny's death pointed at Sunny and those in similar places as Sunny. From one perspective, this has some truth - yet it shows a gross deficit in empathic understanding. Friends of Sunny on the forum have been grieving his death and Sunny's family members had been reading that thread to learn more about Sunny's mindset. Sunny was one of the most loving / kind people I know. Reading the above made me physcially sick in my stomach. Imagine being Sunny's sister, devastated with grief after her beloved brother jumps off a bridge. She comes to the forum, giving us information to help us grow so this doesn't happen to someone else. And then she reads the community leader, who Sunny admired, speaking about how he is amused he needs to create a video telling people not to jump off a bridge and compares it to sticking one's dick in a woodchipper. And how Sunny's death is a PR nightmare for his brand. It's extremely hurtful to those of us grieving the loss of a community member, those on the forum that are marginalized due to confusions similar to Sunny and to Sunny's family. I called Leo out on this, and I'm very disturbed and disappointed that he sees nothing wrong with this post. Leo has many amazing abilities and cares for people in certain ways, yet he also has major deficiencies in certain areas. I have students with autism that have higher level awareness and ability in this area. And now my empathic / human perspective is marginalized to this journal section. It is no longer welcomed in the main forum. This is the danger of polarity. My view is that we as a community should introspect ourselves and consider our flaws. Intellect has value, yet we should also consider the human experience of Sunny and other confused members of our community. Those voices should be heard. Yet they cannot be heard because in a polarized environment, there is only Us vs Them and if one shines light on the flaws of Us it is seen as a threat from 'Them". In my view, Actualized has an impact on Sunny's life. He was in the inner circle of the Actualized community. Outcomes have many contributing inputs and Actualized was one of many contributing inputs into Sunny's life and him giving his life away. I could write many essays empathizing with Sunny's experience. I'm not saying Actualized was the only factor. I'm saying it was one of many contributing inputs into Sunny's life, experience and mental space. Yet this view has no place in a hyper polarized environment in which it must 100% Sunny's independent decision with 0% input from Actualized. It cannot be 99.99% Sunny. It must be 100% Sunny. Yet this is not how inter-related humans work. This is basic spiritual understanding, yet is overlooked by people within the spiritual community. Look at how much emphasis is being placed upon PR, branding, and defending ourselves in a smart way that doesn't make us look cultish. There is some truth and value in this, yet it is not integrated. In this area, the forum as now dropped below green, including Leo. Look at the Tier 1 level identification, attachment, defensiveness and survival instinct occurring. That is not detached metacognition. This is one of the problems of not integrating green within the forum community. I'm not talking about intellectualism of green. I'm talking about actual embodiment of emotion, connectivity, intuition, empathy and heart-centeredness. It's one thing to intellectualize green and criticize SJWs, yet there is a glaring deficiency of actual healthy green on this forum. Leo has genius-level abilities in some areas, yet at lower levels for other abilities - in particular empathic abilities. The good news is that he has mods that have highly developed abilities in these areas. The bad news is that he isn't utilizing us when the forum needs us most. For example, I wish he would have called all the mods together on a zoom call to get our input on community dynamics and how we can proceed. I wish he did a preliminary response video and get feedback from mods before releasing it. The mods love our community and including us would have been an enormous boost to morale and community bonding - even if he dismissed most of our ideas. Yet I feel like my role as a mod is to simply be an enforcer of rules and to stop scammers and trolls. Leo has used the analogy of us mods being cops on the forum. Yet I'm not just a cop. I'm a member of this community and care about this community. Protecting the welfare of the community from nefarious actors is important, yet so are the human bonds, emotional connections and empathy within our community. I feel like my view has no value in the "Us vs the evil invaders. We must protect our PR and brand above all else!" narrative. And if I speak up, I would be seen as a traitor to the forum. So here I am, marginalized to the journal section.

Please keep in mind that we recently lost a beloved member of our actualized community and some of us are still grieving his death. As well, his family members have been visiting the forum.

Sunny was not a 1 in a million random person that misinterpreted teachings. He was a daily poster on the forum. There are only about 30-40 members that post daily. Sunny was in the inner circle of actualized. He had a dreamboard he learned about on actualized. He wrote actualized members names on his dreamboard. He came to the forum for guidance through his first psychedelic experiences. He sought guidance via actualized before he took his life. He trusted members here. It breaks my heart to see so many people try to rapidly distance themselves from him. For a community that often speaks about how there is no separate individuals and we are all inter-connected, it's ironic how fast 100% responsibility is pinned onto a separate individual. No introspection about how the actualized community discusses topics like death, illusions of self, life as a dream etc. Yet when someone takes their life, it gets real fast and a lot of distancing occurs. . . If the self, life and death is illusory, then there was no "Sunny", his suicide is illusory and he didn't leave any family behind. Yet this would not be a tenable position to hold. On the forum, there is a lot of conflation between personal and transpersonal realms and it can cause harm to individuals. Yet some benefit as well. And a lot of good can come out be mass distribution of nondual teachings. The world is filled with intense selfishness, conflict, violence and absurd conspiracy theories. Teachings like Spiral Dynamics, relativity, nonduality etc. can help. Yet I also think there are also some gaps and structural issues. Notice the tone of conversation after Sunny's death. Mostly skepticism if it was real, distancing and finger pointing. In a healthy community, there would be an open discussion. The leader would get together with moderators in-person or via zoom. They would introspect and brainstorm ways we could improve. Then ideas would be brought back to the larger community for feedback. Yet this isn't the way actualized is structured or Leo's skillset. He is much more a top-down leader that makes decisions and he isn't into in person social meetings and discussions. I've been a mod here several years and we've never had a single meeting to discuss forum issues. It's not Leo's jam. In an effort to create more human connection, I'm happy to skype/zoom with anyone regarding nonduality, mysticism, breathwork, psychedelics, personality constructs etc. Just send me a pm and we can set something up. I think person-to-person communication is important. Sorry @Loving Radiance, I hadn't checked my journal for a bit. I think you have a good introspective question. Yes, I think allowing space to question ones own beliefs / epistemic grounds is super important. Yet unfortunately this is rare. And not just rare in spiritual communities, it can also be rare in the sciences. Scientists are often very open-minded and introspective - yet only within their whirlpool of the scientific paradigm. A couple years ago, I went to a scientific presentation on epigenetics. The researcher described data which suggests fish can predict seasonal temperature variations and epigenetically alter the gene expression of their offspring to better prepare them. After the presentation, I spoke with the scientist about the mechanics of his work. I then asked "Couldn't we consider this a form of intelligence?". There was a long pause of contemplation. It was like noone had approached him from this angle before. He responded "I suppose it could be. . . ". We then had a conversation of 'what is intelligence'? I could tell this was outside of his paradigm grounding and it was nice to see him questioning his own framework of what intelligence is. I definitely gave lots of space and I even 'played dumb' at times as if I was processing it for the first time as well. If I came at him knowing-it-all and saying "You are contracted within a scientific paradigm of intelligence with a human bias. You cannot see the higher systemic forms of intelligence" - he would have shut down.

I think they make some good points yet also have some misunderstandings. Overall, I think they come at it in good faith (albeit with some misunderstanding). I wish we could have a discussion within the actualized community.

I would engage in other spiritual activities - both solo and with groups. For example, online breathwork groups with a facilitator. There are all sorts of facilitators - some are into personal development, healing, mystical experiences, shamanism etc. Also: yoga, meditation, creative writing, time in nature, reflection etc. These types of activities can help stabilize the higher states of consciousness you speak of.

@Being Frank Yang Thanks for sharing your insights

This thread is about Soonheis poetry. Please stay on topic.

Please keep in mind family members may be reading this thread

Please keep in mind that family members may be reading this thread.

A video on history of the conflict

@Leo Gura Nice. Perhaps pin her comment to the top of the comment section.

Would perfect pitch be a good analogy deeply awakening with self inquiry? Perfect pitch is a very rare ability in which a person can identify notes by hearing them and can re-create them without reference tones. It may be possible to learn for some people, yet would take an immense amount of time and effort. Marcus Veltri has perfect pitch. He can hear any song and then re-create the notes perfectly on his piano. Most normies could spend years trying to learn this using any trick in the book and still not be able to do it.

Nice work.

@Gianna If you resonate with breathwork, you might want to try doing online sessions with a facilitator and group. Trained facilitators have helped me explore deeper and get better at technique. Plus, it can be nice to connect with a group. There are various online breathwork sessions that are free.

There are different meanings for the term 'innocent'. For example, someone could be found 'innocent' in a court of law. That is a different meaning than someone being 'innocent' because they haven't been exposed to certain things and and unaware of certain things. For example, a person may travel to a foreign country and think everyone there is friendly and be unaware of scammers / manipulators. In this context, 'innocence' would be a form of naïveté. Or a child can be innocent since their reality has been exposed to many things. For example, a young child would have no idea what sex is or all the things that can happen in sexual relationships. You seem to be using the term 'innocent' in the context of 'not guilty' of doing something bad. In that context, it depends on your definition of 'bad' and whether the person committed that' bad' act. For example, if killing other people is bad, Hitler would not be 'innocent' since he was involved with killing many people. He would be found guilty in a court of law.

Duplicate thread

At the start of an Ayahuasca ceremony I attended, each person stated their intention. Why did they travel to the mountains of Peru for an Ayahuasca retreat? What is their intention for this ceremony? I'd say 90% of the people told a personal problem answer: they don't know whether they should get a divorce, they want their depression to go away, they want to get beyond their anxiety disorder, they want to heal from past trauma, they don't know which career path to choose, they want to overcome a drug addiction. There isn't anything wrong with this, yet nearly everyone had a personal problem they wanted to work through. Very few people had an intention transcendent to a personal problem. When it came to me, I said "I want to be open to whatever arises during the ceremony". I got a few strange looks as if to say "You traveled to the mountains of Peru for that? Rly?"

A few strawmen: -- Pro-abortionists want to kill babies. I disagree. I believe we should value a baby's life. -- People who want gay marriage believe you can marry whatever you love. I disagree. I don't believe someone should be allowed to marry their pet dog -- Feminists hate men and want men to suffer. I disagree. I believe everyone should be treated with dignity. Any idiot can create a strawman. It's much more difficult to create a steelman. In some cases, hundreds of hours of study and contemplation.

I’d be up all night. I can’t sleep for 10+ hours after taking psychedelics. I’ve never heard of anyone being able to trip while sleeping. I question whether the two mental states are compatible.

You keep using the framing of “disagree” vs “agree”. That is not how I perceive. Imagine someone knows advanced astronomy and P-chem, yet only algebra. We could say that their weakest area is math. Yet it doesn’t make sense to say “we disagree with algebra”.

No, it’s obvious. For example, JP has rudimentary understanding of relativity. And he is not able to deconstruct his constructs of patriarchy, feminism, social structure and science to Nothing. As well, speaks of god as an external entity. He hasn’t realized that he is God. And he believes his constructs are objectively true. If he had deep understanding of relativity and could go prior to his constructs, he wouldn’t talk as he does and he wouldn’t be so serious all the time. His views on psychedelics and psychology are pretty solid. His politics are his weakest area.

It is context dependent. Please see the nuance in what I’m trying to communicate. Caution and daring is co text dependent. As I said, I think JP adds value because he can see benefits of psychedelics in therapy and he has a good balance between caution and daring. Plus, he advocates for responsible use of psychedelics. That is at a human / personal level. Another context is a trans-human / trans-personal awakening in which reality is deconstructed to Nothing and constructed full circle to Everything. This takes an immense amount of daring-ness and very few people are willing to go full Monty. Which is fine. The trick is being grounded enough to integrate and re-ground so the mind-body does go batshit crazy ungrounded. Some caution is needed, yet JP isn’t daring enough in this context. He is overly cautious. Yet perhaps for good reason. If he went full Monty it might render him permanently insane. I’m not sure if his mind-body could handle it, yet I bet he has a good shot since he has an intuitive sense of God and years of grounding. Saying it isn’t the experience and embodiment Not even close. Anyone can say that. That’s different than actually investigating deeply and embodying. Absolutely. That’s what I’ve said three times now. Yet there is a distinction between using psychedelics for personal growth / healing and using psychedelics to deconstruct one’s reality into transpersonal domains. Ironically, JP is a psychologist yet doesn’t know how his own minds works.