Vitamine Water

DAY 19 Late night walk. 30 minutes. Speed walk kinda deal. Not to much tension on my feet. It was comfy, my head was clear so I had time and space to think ?

DAY 18 30 Minute run. I ran slooooowly today. 10 minute warmup. There might possibly be a slight possibility that maybe my running shoes are sort of out of date and not the best quality. It's pretty annoying that those calf muscle cramps still persist after 18 days of running. Not AFTER a run, but right when I start to run in a pase. It just blocks. I hope to find more time to research what's going on. Or if somebody is reading this and has a slight clue, that would be super helpful. I'm young, I feel good, I'm eating healthy. I dunno. It's pretty damn annoying. Maybe it's because I haven't worked out seriously in about a year so my body has to adapt. But 18 friggin days mate? I wanna flyyyyyyy like and eagle

Meditations are getting lazy again. I'm not getting the most out of it and it feels like cheating. So.. Sit up, back straight. No, wait, SIT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR BACK STRAIGHT, YOU WOKE PIECE OF TRASH. Not lying down listening to binaural beats and nod off to sleep. 23:00 and not 0:00. Waking up at 8:00 is going fine (with a few exceptions like today). KUMBAYAAAAAAAA

Who's hiding behind my eyeball? I'm starting this journal because there is an increasing desire for Truth. I want to share my journey into realising who I am and I decided to do it publicly. Its my way of mapping out myself, to understand who's writing and what he's thinking. I just want to open up. Show who I am. I've been living in my mind for too long. I've been introverted for too long. There is great potential in me. I've seen it, I've felt it. I'm not afraid to say it. I am here to help humanity. For that I first need to help myself. Get rid of my own bullshit and confusion. And finaly reveal my dark side. I know it's there hiding somewhere. I've been feeling too good for too long. I want to keep it as raw as possible without polishing too much. So get ready to be confused, amused, offended or whatever if you're reading along. I can be all over the place. And yes, there is ego involved. No more hiding. Let's get REAL

DAY 17 (I took a break yesterday (Saturday) 20 minute run - 60 minute walk Run was very rocky. Lower and upper legs were blocking. I did a good warmup but it still remained. My parents also went out for a walk after I came back, so I joined! ?

DAY 15 40 minute run. I found a nice route to run in nature so I'm gonna stick to that one. I also found a nice pase/rhytm to run, a bit faster than usual but it seems to decrease the leg cramps a bit and I can run more on stamina.

I consider myself an intuitive person. I follow my heart and passion and I take paths based on my gut instinct/feeling. What I do notice is that I often lack the ability to properly articulate what I'm doing or what I'm thinking about. For example art. In my hearth I know that it is my path to happiness and awakening. But when it comes down to explaining what I do and why I do it, I just lack the ability to communicate it. The story is there, the meaning is there, but I to communicate it is where I lack the skills. And I've always been like that. I've always had trouble with learning and studying. I really had to fight my way through highschool and college. What I wanted to do is draw all day long, daydream and do stupid things. And for the last two years or so I felt an increasing feeling of responsibility. Mostly because I see the world around me suffer, my friends, family and society in general. And there is an intuition in me that tells me I NEED to properly inform myself about what's going on in the world. I need to be more articulate in order to communicate what I've learned also. And also to articulate what I want for myself. What my goals are. What my vision is (as an artist, mostly). It's not enough to "just wing it". So I've been learning more, studying more, reading more books. And I can see a lot is connecting and start making sense. At the same time, the more I learn, the more confused I get. Because I realise there is so much that I don't know. ------------ Because I'm a good boy, I'm going to apply the learning=behaviour change technique to what I wrote before ? 1. What have I learned? In order to become the best version of myself, live my fullest potential, I have to properly communicate what I want for myself. Keep Following my intuition but with the right articulation so that I actually understand why I'm doing what I'm doing and for what purpose 2. How will my behaviour change? The coming next 30 days, I will write down and formulate my vision as an artist. I will write down where I see myself in 1 year, in 5 years and in 10 years. I will write down what I mean with "living my fullest potential" and what my vision is for myself and the world. I hope that by writing this down in detail I will start to manifest my vision, or at least create a better sense of what I actually want in life. I hope that by articulating my vision, it will create the focus, discipline and mindset to fulfill it. 3. What have I learned about myself? I need to be more articulate and precise in my communication so that my goals are more clear and I actually understand what I'm talking about. Balance intuition with 'intellectual' understanding. This creates the foundation to understanding myself and the world. In the end, to communicate this with whoever. PS: I initially wrote 7 days, but decided to do 30. I don't want to rush it and B, I'm starting an art challenge too tomorrow and I don't want to be overloaded with challenges.

For people who are interested, im also active on Instagram (justfluid) ? https://www.instagram.com/justfluid/

My art Hmm. My art. "my art". Such a weird way of naming it. I literally have no idea where art comes from. It doesn't come from "me" or "Wesley". I just create. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even doing doing it while I'm panting or drawing. Like I'm tapping into some vague field of creativity, where Wesley just happens to be to pick it up and channel it on paper or canvas. But fuck it. I'm already talking too much lol. Here is some of my work Hope you like it! "Cybernature" "Metamorphosis" "7th Dimension" "The adventures of Dr.doodle"

DAY 14 45 minute run. I don't want to jump to conclusions this quickly, but it seems like the full warm up really helped in reducing my leg cramps (calf muscle mostly). I was able to accelerate my pase and run more on stamina instead of muscle strength.

A quick Google search: proper stretching and warm up/cool down might be the solution. Looking back at previous days I barely did any warm ups. Just walking and slowly accelerating might not be enough. I've played soccer for about 11 years so I guess it's time to revisit some of those stretching and warmup exercises ?

DAY 13 25 minute run. Instead of running my way back I walked back because my legs felt terrible again. And I don't think it's a good idea to keep pushing beyond that cramp. Sometimes it works but today It just blocked.

DAY 12 32 minute run.

DAY 11 55 minute run. Woa. There was something about this last sprint that was.. I guess almost orgasmic? My arms and legs were tingling and it felt like I wasn't in my body and I kept accelerating.. And surprisingly I wasn't really tired after that. I felt more phisical and mental strength. The weird thing was that I had a really hard time waking up, and I REALLY didn't feel like running. 10 minutes in I already felt like going back and my legs were slowly discontinuing. But there was something about telling myself to shut up and go that extra mile that gave me the motivation to keep going. Once I passed that threshold the run became 'automatic'. And slightly more fun.

DAY 10 40 minute run. My feet were happy again. Didn't push anything and took a longer break walking.

DAY 8 Friday morning insight: my legs need a break. Today was very rocky and my legs literally felt like shit. Also I was low on energy so I couldn't maintain a steady pase. I did woke up at 730 and that felt better. I might do a walk tomorrow morning instead of a run. hmmm. Not sure yet. I'm waking up at 730 either way.

From this moment on, I'm going to apply the learning=behavior change questions to everything that I learn in books. I'm currently reading "Spiral Dynamics" and "no more mr. nice guy" I will write it down in this journal under the title "learning=behavior change lesson x". If there are any additional lessons learned outside of books, I will write it down too. But for now the focus is on books. I want to take this slowly first.

From one of Leo's older vids about learning=behavior change: - What have I learned? - How will my behavior change? - What have I learned about myself? Applying this to that video made me realize the importance of active learning, instead of 'just hearing it" or "just reading it".

Hahaha exactly?

DAY 7 30 minute run, 5km. Relaxed. Didn't push myself too much. Tomorrow I will start at 7:30 bacause it's hot asf already.

DAY 6 55 minute run. I ran 10km today, which is a big improvement from yesterday. Leg cramps were okay but I managed to get over it by focusing on an end point. It was also pretty damn warm. If I get more comfortable with this new routine, I would like to wake up at 7:00 intead of 8. So it's less hot outside and I can start work earlier (preferably 8:30).

@modmyth haha yessss it's one of those classics. And it's also memed a lot in later years ? This one is top notch for sure: https://youtu.be/wP0kaxHXNHM

WAKE ME UP INSIDE!! (I CAN'T WAKE UP) WAKE ME UP INSIDE!! CALL MY NAME AND SAVE ME FROM THE DARRRKKKKKK (cold shower motivation ??) Day 5 35 minute run. I woke up 8:30 which is 30 minutes too late. Run went also pretty rocky. I couldn't get over the lower leg cramps this time. And it got in me head But I got my fitbit which is pretty cool! I ran 6k and 7k steps. 10k steps a day is the goal so we will see how it goes today. I'm hoping for a better start tomorrow.

DAY 4 40 minute run. THIS RUN FELT GOOOOD! I started feeling my ankles quite early on but once I got over that threshold it got easier. And I was running more on stamina and less on muscle strength. Or whatever it was haha, it felt good. If I focused on how my body felt from toe to head it got easier too. As soon as I started thinking about stuff I was out of it. So it's also a fun challenge to keep focusing. PS: My FitBitch will also arrive today!