Viking

@Etagnwo seems pretty unrealistic if im a bit less than an average looking guy.

@Etagnwo so i shouldnt continue a conversation in the first place if i see if she doesnt want sex?

@Etagnwo Whats your experience with that stuff? so as I understand it could work if I approach women authentically, even outside of a "meeting setting". From my understanding, not from experience, women go to bars and clubs just to have a good time, not to meet men, to get validation and to get free drinks from men. I understand that in order to succeed I have to meet women who are searching or are willing, obviously. The problem is that im currently a university student studying physics and there are about 10% girls there, not only that, but right now I dont even go to university because its summer break. im searching for a way to meet willing women aged~20, while the options i have is either public places like cafes and malls, and some bars (which I guess are small). lol I realized, I look bad no matter where I go, im either one of the desperate dudes who go to bars to get laid or a dude who tried to pick up at public places.

@Etagnwo yeah, im putting effort in it because my mind always bombards me with that stuff. whats the difference between pick up and PUA? do you define PUA as the community? I dont want to be in that community, I just want to approach girls in public places because i dont have other options.

is that student exchange? im not allowed to because the army pays for my education. and those girls are on average 5 years older than me and have boyfriends.

generally no, but it depends on the situation.

oh and for unattractive people online dating is bluntly impossible. I tried tinder a few times, nothing came out of it.

im ok with that, but does it make girls uncomfortable?

the nearest club is outside of town and about 20km away. Also clubs are the worst place to pick up girls exactly because they expect you to, they have a huge choice and you have to spend a ton of money for drinks, because the girls who go to clubs are mostly sluttish, so they will only talk to you if you get them a drink. I went once to a club and it was a huge sausage party, most girls came there with boyfriends and there were much more men than women. reminds me of a salsa class I took, much more men want to go to salsa classes than women, even though its supposed to be the opposite, my guess just to pick up girls. in the age we live in its much fucking harder to meet women than it once were.

I tried online dating and also there there are no girls nearby. i cant move somewhere else because i live with my parents, im only 20 years old and i study in university so i dont have a job yet to afford a place of my own. thats the problem, there simply is no environment like that for me, even in university, i study physics and there are about 10% girls, also soon i will be on a summer break so i wont be in university. I wish I could do something besides pickup, but there are no other options.

the creator is not separate from the egos

suffering has to exist and theres no problem with that.

how does it connect to the topic? also lol it's your interpretation, meaning, which is illusory. if you get that its a game, why dont you get the meaning you put on it is also illusory?

you want that feeling back, thats why you dont get it. you should be ok with everything.

well, I had a few parties this year but most of the girls there were with their bfs and i wasnt set on approaching girls then. now though, i have 2 months almost free, and in that time i want to try to get a girlfriend, but there wont be any parties in the region i will be able to attain to. I have 1 group of friends, which is a closed group, i barely meet anyone new, theyre also not that good friends we just hang out whenever. i have another group of friends in the university, though my university is far away from my town, and i need a girlfriend in the vicinity. there may be events in the vicinity so ill try to be on the lookout, though i can know if an event is happening only through facebook, because of the sparsely populated area. I dont work, but how do you find someone at work? isnt it not allowed? or if you break up or something it will be shitty at work later. so, since i dont get out of my mancave at all, i should force myself to go to public places, and all im gonna do there is look out for opportunities to talk casually, is that right? and if i dont find any, just being straight about it might work, like- hey, i think youre pretty, do you want to get to know eachother? or trying to make eye contact at a place where people are stationary.

@Sea but on a certain level it makes sense. after having sex a lot of hormones are released and the attraction is stronger. before that there is no real deep connection like you would have with your family or long time friends. sex is like a shortcut to deep connection.

so i dont need to make any effort to be mindful! im already it!

how do i be here now? he said that im not doing it correctly

@BuddhaTree then how do i become present? if being aware of my breath doesnt do it?

@tsuki When I do something im not passionate about it (aka not meaningful) becomes painful, i start to suffer. I think that may be because I want to do something else, something i am interested in, but some stuff I have to do to survive, or so it will pay off later. I think that's only possible when you're in the state of meaningless meaninglessness. ordinary people need goals to feel the meaning reward when approaching the goal. maybe i sounded a bit reckless with the psychedelics, im actually very careful.

@tsuki I think I read that some time ago, but forgot. So I guessed... Every person who actually got any big results in life, like enlightened masters, billionaire entrepreneurs, did so from a place of intuition. Here comes into play my self confidence, I always thought and think that im an ordinary dude that has no "life road". When comparing myself to others who succeeded im far inferior and I dont believe I can achieve anything worthwhile, even though i might say to myself i am, deeply i dont believe this. Barely anything interests me, and absolutely nothing interests me deeply. All I have is some hope that something will. i think that was caused by my lame childhood. The problem is that I have some image of where I want to be and I feel like I have to force my way there. everything in my life feels not genuine, not automatic, not intuitive, forced. That's one of the reasons I simply dont want to read books and develop myself, im forcing myself to do it though. When I think "develop myself" im feeling like I have to do homework or something, which sucks. I'd much much rather watch movies and tv shows than live "my life". im already ready to take a shitton of psychedelics so my brain would start to function semi-authentically, though im a little afraid it will cause psychosis or schizophrenia, because after my trips I always believe that it somehow damaged my brain and im stuck in a stupid state of mind. also i started hearing sounds when i meditate and when i fall asleep. @Joseph Maynor I tried LSD, though only 125ug, I did notice a huge shift a few days after, and I felt really authentic in the week after the trip, but my mind got cluttered and it passed.

did you actually sit and deconstruct stuff? or did you meditate? im often hitting a wall while trying to deconstruct something. for example if i ask "why do I want X", i answer "to feel a certain way, which i interpret as 'good' " then I ask "and why do i want to feel that and no other things?" and there is no answer, but I still want to feel that way.

haha dont be sorry, im a physics student so it's all familiar what you mean is that the more I observe, while at the same time deconstructing, I see clearer and clearer that I dont control anything and I enter a paradigm in which im not bothered by meaning, though I still feel it, because meaning creation is built into our brain. so in order to get to that place I need to continue meditating, observing and contemplating?

i'd quit the weed and check with a doctor.

i dunno, i tried being mindful for a really long time (almost a year) and and im still a noob, no improvement.