Viking

just some pointers, i dunno: when did you start feeling this way and what happened during that time that might've caused it? I dont believe you didnt feel even a single bit of happiness throughout the dacade, what gave you happiness? and why? maybe you feel like you should do something and not doing it, maybe you're not following what you think you should be doing. depression is usually a signal the body gives you that you need to change something

raising the kundalini energy, full body orgasms, tantric sex, very deep personal connection with other people, astral projection, siddhis

easily fakable suppose it really happens by some miracle, it doesnt prove that islam is the truth. maybe it can show that islam has some truth in it, but it doesnt justify all the beliefs associated with the truth. those words dont prove that other religions are false. this is just one perspective on the truth. not only that, but it's just words, everything else is the interpretation of the person who sees them.

for me when im in nature my mind is especially irritable, because of all the bugs and flies, dirt, heat, fatigue, physical aches and boredom. it starts running out of control like a wild beast and i cant control it.

is that an important skill that's worth investing time and money on courses into?

every time i stumble upon a significant insight a feel certain feelings in the body

personally i dont find quantum mechanics understanding as something that expands the big picture much. something that advances you better along the spiral, especially into stage green is interacting with green people, and when you have resistance to anything they say question that resistance.

that cloud of possibility can change when you're not looking at it. dont know what that has to do with anything

I want to share David R Hawkins' perspective on practices like yoga that "force" energy up the spine: He says basically that it's dangerous and the better route is to raise the kundalini naturally.

what I mean by "traumatize" is not that panic attack-inducing trauma that will make you hate your life, but more of like a subtle trauma, small bits of it, which may transform into something more serious after the trip. That may very well happen when there's big amount of new information and recontextualization that happen during a trip. I say that because I think it happened to me. After my few trips I developed an irrational fear that the LSD fucked my brain up and sooner or later I will go insane. Also every time something weird happened to my consciousness like hypnagogia I attributed it to the LSD, which made me panic even more. I think I overcame it already, after a few months and a vipassana retreat, but I was fucking 20. Imagine what it could do to a 14 year old that probably has dogmatic parents that know nothing about psychedelics and will start scaring him if they find out he did them.

I get that you're bored, but there's better and more efficient stuff for you right now to focus on. psychedelics will traumatize you even if you choose not to believe me.

i think all you need to know is that its normal, i also experienced stuff like that. try to listen to your intuition and to go your own path, without getting all of the information from other people. theyre just pointers.

@Gabriel Antonio I think going to a psychiatrist on this type of stuff isnt a good idea, unless that psychiatrist is top notch, and they're pretty rare and expensive. he/she will just label you with some imaginary "disorder" which will make you feel like a victim, and will give you some pills if they dont know what to do.

I think its just a shitty period in your life, happens to everybody. keep (or start) doing some self development work, watch Leo's latest video and see where you need to improve and start there. (greatly recommend the booklist)

any time I read a book i get bored at some point. even if the book has contents that I find somewhat interesting after a while when i keep reading the book i get this feeling like- ''ughhh i dont want to keep reading, i want to do something else'' and i have a feeling i want to sigh. this doesnt just happen with books, but with books its most prominent. anything i do, watching tv shows and movies, studying, watching youtube videos is just lame. the best interest i could get is not getting bored, nothing gets to "interesting". or it gets there and passes away quickly, but thats very rare. not only in that but in life in general. everything is so tasteless. going out with friends, participating in workshops, talking with people, eating, going to a vacation. Also im at the point in the life purpose course where im supposed to write 100 questions that fascinate me most about life and i cant come up with anything authentic really. I got questions like "why does anything exist" and "what experiences are there that i didnt experience" but it doest ring the bell of being "fascinating". is this because im not experiencing life enough and im always in my head? is this because im overstimulated? (tv shows, porn, etc.)

my nutrition is messy at the moment. im always hungry. even if i try to eat 3 meals a day, i always crave for food in between the meals. i eat oatmeal with fruits for morning, soup for lunch and something with meat for dinner, but in between i crave for sweets, junk food and stuff, whatever is available at home. ( i love with my parents)

today I read some post somewhere a way to have multi orgasms as a man. you just gotta squeeze the PC muscle before ejaculation. usually it takes some work for some people, but for me on the first time i tried I was able to orgasm about 4 times before choosing to ejaculate, it was harder as the times increased but still sexual arousal was there. also semen spilt before the ejaculation so i felt like it could get to my bladder and cause problems. is it harmful? im probably not doing it right and there may be some dangers, i dont know. it did feel much better than regular orgasm though.

honestly i experienced it during the afterglow of an lsd trip and somewhat during a vipassana retreat but its hella unsustainable and i dont know if its attainable for a high paced western lifestyle.

yes, im starting my 3rd year in a few weeks, but i wouldnt spend my free time on that, its boring mostly.

video games, YouTube and tv shows. i guess it's the same stuff just now i dont play videogames because they became boring. edit: this was more my teens. during childhood i played videogames, watched tv and spent time with friends outside fucking around. shit, i guess tv is the constant. edit2: wait, so am i fucked for life now and nothing will interest me as much as tv? because seriously so far nothing has interested me more than tv.

for me materialism is not 100% false, but it's very unlikely for the following reasons: let's say the smallest parts are dumb subatomic particles without consciousness. then how does your consciousness arise? it makes zero sense. people say that those particles might have some consciousness and when they become as complex as a brain you experience "you", that's also very unlikely because that would mean inanimate objects would have consciousness too. supposedly when there is subjective experience (consciousness) the brain fires neurotransmitters in certain loops (that's what neuroscience says). but it is said that there are near death experiences and other sort of experiences when brain activity lowers, but people still experience stuff. that means that people experience stuff without their brain firing neurons, which means theres a difference between brain and consciousness. (look for the book "why materialism is baloney" for more information, and generally about this whole subject) it is very logical to assume that we dont experience all of external reality if there is one, because of evolutionary reasons (less information that is more crucial, less time to react). with that, all of our descriptions and measurements of "external reality" are based on our experience, sights, sounds, feelings, then how can we be so certain about our descriptions of it? science doesnt answer what is existence, it just explains certain matter with other matter, how some matter will react with other matter bla bla... it doesnt have the answer, which means materialism doesnt have the answer, it's just a set of beliefs. using the materialism paradigm, we conclude that all of our experience is in our heads, in the brain, we dont have direct access to reality and cant possibly have because it will always be through the brain. that for me just sounds weird and quite a stretch to be true. edit: btw the materialist paradigm is extremely toxic because it leads us to believe that the world is full of cold facts without any magic and it contributes to people being depressed.

haha thats what ive been actually doing. ive been to a vipassana retreat, i went to volunteer for 10 days, i went to a festival for 4 days which i just came from. i guess ill try to plan more stuff, thanks i need to force myself because i have a huge cravings for that stuff and reading books, eating healthy and such isnt as stimulating. i actually notice the craving in my body when it happens but i cant help but identify with it and go along.

youre 100% right about the stimulation but should i force myself to meditate even if it makes me miserable? i know how to deal with misery the right way without generating sankaras but itll suck still and i wont want to do it. and i think to truly for meditation to have an effect i should meditate at least 20 min a few times a day. and do you think i should force myself and cut on the constant compulsory eating and watching tv shows i do all day? this period will end in a few weeks and ill go back to university.