Tyler Robinson

I want to reschedule my doctor appointments I'm too frustrated.

The power of belief /faith/light The power of love The power of the brain The power of hard work The power of positivity/abundance The power of happiness The power of sweetness The power of healing The power of heroism

Today while returning from a trip to the psychologist I was thinking about 5 powers that can help me deal with my situation. The power of belief /faith/light The power of love The power of the brain The power of hard work The power of positivity/abundance

I told her that I have anxiety disorder and I feel stressed out. And I began explaining how stuff makes me anxious. And her response was ~ you feel anxious about every little thing. How is someone supposed to deal with you? I was thinking to myself - well, that's why it's called anxiety disorder, you feel anxious to the point of debilitation.

@SOUL I feel like she probably has a daughter like me. And she cannot handle her. And she was constantly sympathizing with my mother. Probably because she herself is a mother? She was quick to sympathize with my mom's bipolar mental illness struggles. But I have my own mental health struggles and she couldn't sympathize with that. So basically she sympathized with my mother for having bipolar. Yet when I talked about my mental health issues with depression and suicide, she labeled me as a "mental case." and she said how difficult it is for a mom to deal with a daughter like me. Wasn't it equally difficult for me to deal with a mother like my mom as a child growing up? The contradiction was just baffling. She purely looked at the whole situation of my trauma only and solely from my mother's perspective. Where was my perspective at all? I think she is struggling as a mom with handling her own kids and she projected her wounds as a mother on to me. She saw herself in my mother and probably saw her children in me and began blaming me right away.. All of her responses felt like she was blaming me the whole time for my issues. Her sentence "you're ruining your own life" was very telling of the fact that she thought I'm bringing everything on myself rather than things happening to me. She was blaming me for feeling depressed about my childhood situation as though I was intentionally creating trauma and pain when I had options to forget. I couldn't believe that she took childhood trauma so lightly and passed it off as something a person should forget once they grow up. She basically invalidated all of my feelings as an imagination of my mind rather than addressing the root cause of those feelings. That's why I think she was projecting her own bad mother behavior by making me feel guilty. Her kids probably blame her for her parenting or whatever. And she found an outlet to take out her frustration on me and make herself feel better.. She is very unprofessional since she made my issue a personal thing instead of treating it as a "client issue." Instead of being neutral and taking both sides, she chose to focus solely on my mother's side and I think this was very biased of her..

Yea this is how I felt. I think she had a daughter who had similar issues like mine. So when I began explaining her my mother's situation and my childhood trauma, she did not empathize with me at all.. When I told her my mother is bipolar, I expected her to say something like yea it's understandable that you must have had a tough childhood with a bipolar mother. Instead her response was "she is bipolar and you have to understand that this is how she is going to be. If you understand your mother you won't complain about her." I was thinking - wtf, how is a child at the age of 6 supposed to know what bipolar is and how is a child supposed to develop the maturity to understand the mental health struggles of their parents. They are kids and they need love and support. Their childhood was ruined regardless of the parents circumstances. Of course I understand now that things were difficult for my mom but how could I have known as a child. A child will take what's given to them without understanding the rational behind it. Children will respond positively to sweet behavior and negatively to anger from parents. How can a child have the ability to rationalize a parent's anger? Her lack of logic was astounding. She expected me to simply forget my childhood trauma by trying to understand my mom. But she doesn't realize that childhood trauma is called childhood trauma because it happened in childhood and it's effects are experienced in adult life. It's like she is clueless to how the human brain evolves

Yea because she was the weirdest oddest person. I felt completely bewildered and absurd. She was judging me the whole time. She was less of a psychologist and more of a disciplinarian. She doesn't know heck about psychology. Calling me "mental case" shows how little value she gives to mentally ill people. Why is she allowed to make profit off of other's misery and allowed to look down on them at the same time. I mean she makes money off people coming to her for help and she thinks that mentally ill people deserve to be divorced or discarded and treated with contempt. The hypocrisy is just astounding. I honestly feel like she should be barred from practice.

Exploiters will always appear appealing to fellow exploiters. If anyone looks up to Trump or Tate for inspiration, you need to be having deeply shitty morals. Its only zero moral integrity that can make a person admire what Tate is doing. His rise to success and fame is not phenomenal. It's just shitty exploitation and cheap misuse of social matrix. He doesn't prey on anyone. He is just good at attracting people like him. Till Tate is arrested and all rats flee the ship in panic..

And lastly the power of healing. There needs to be "hope for humanity." Most people live in a scarcity mindset. This whole earth is a giant ball that needs collective healing.. Healing can only be found in Divinity.

The power of happiness and sweetness. You fill your life with these two things then no force in the universe can block the flow of your infinite energy. Be happy even in the worst circumstances. Just be happy for the sake of happy. And then be sweet to yourself. Whenever someone or something is bringing you down, be a hero and remember to be happy and sweet to yourself. Sweet, kind and gentle to yourself.. The power of happiness is that no devil can squash it. The power of sweetness is such that no bitterness can ruin it.

The real test is not basking in success. The real test is dealing with failures..

The sweetest words can cut through the toughest bars.

This song is my inspiration. Always reminds me that I'm a rebel with a cause.

Yea the psychologist was quite a fucked up experience.

Yep.

I always think that I'm the heroine of the movie of my life. Does that make me a narcissist? Who cares if everyone is insignificant right? If nobody is thinking about me, then why would they even bother about what I'm guilty of? Sounds comically contradictory. Nobody should care about what another person thinks of themselves.. And if you do care too much, then I would call it preaching character syndrome. If someone called me a narcissist for thinking about myself mostly, I would call myself a social revolutionary. Kiss my ass lol.

I have social anxiety. I mustered courage to visit a psychologist after a lot of effort. Asking her such a question would be beyond me. She must be in her 50s. This was my first session with her. My obvious goal was to explain her my entire situation and why I was suicidal and depressed and then take advice from her. If she wasn't interested in hearing me out, how in the world would she figure out what is going through my mind? But she can ask questions later and let me finish. She wouldn't let me resume my conversation and instead divert it with her questions. She was trying to fast forward it as much as possible because she had one hour and she was trying to pack everything in that hour. It was her doing most of the talking There's nothing like controlling the outcome. Nobody is stopping her from giving advice. But calling me a mental case actually reflects the level of respect she had for me in her mind and that explains why she was interrupting me

Curiously her website has all the best reviews. 5 star reviews. But there's a problem. I saw her Facebook and some of the people leaving her reviews are her Facebook friends which I noticed only after finishing the session. I guess she told her friends and relatives to leave great reviews and testimonials for her, some of their last names were same as hers. So I suspect that these are fake reviews just to boost her credit, she manipulated her own people to leave her testimonials to make her stand out in all the other psychologist options available to me. I should have selected those psychologists even if their ratings were lower than hers, at least their ratings must have been honest. She did not have even a single negative rating, it seems either she deletes negative ratings or just influences people who get along with her to leave her positive testimonials. That actually makes her a fraud.

Midway through the session, I began losing interest and I didn't feel like I wanted to tell my full story. She would interrupt after every 2 sentences and ask the next question. Then I asked her about marriage and finding a partner. And she said - "your future husband will think you're a mental case and divorce you." That indirect shaming and calling me "mental case" was cherry on top. That was like meeting a doctor who specializes in weight loss fat shaming his own client.. A psychologist who I visit calls me mental case lol. Why would I be needing her help if it weren't obvious that I was having mental issues.. After she called me mental case, I began to look away while speaking to her. Since I already have eye contact issues due to my autism, and she made it much worse. I couldn't look her in the eye at all.. I gave up. She was giving me a cold angry stare the entire time making it impossible to make eye contact with her. The worst experience. I felt like "money down the drain."

She made me feel like a criminal, let alone apologize.

6th power - focus on power rather than on weaknesses. God's message is hidden indirectly everywhere

She said to me - "you're ruining your own life. Get busy doing something and you'll forget everything and try to act normal." I'm thinking in my head - "well, I suffer depression because of which I'm self destructive, so it's obvious I will ruin my life. And how would I just forget my problems by not confronting them by simply distracting myself with work and being busy. And if I was normal why would I be sitting with her. " It's like she did not understand the concept of " getting help.. "

I feel like I went through a lot. I feel like there was nothing that I could do to stop everything. There was nothing in my power.

Happy New Year 2023 to the forum. Best wishes. Hope your dreams and resolutions come true.