Tyler Robinson

Where do I begin To tell the story of how great a love can be The sweet love story that is older than the sea The simple truth about the love she brings to me Where do I start? With her first hello She gave a meaning to this empty world of mine There'd never be another love another time She came into my life and made the living fine She fills my heart She fills my heart with very special things With angel songs, with wild imaginings She fills my soul with so much love That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely With her along who could be lonely? I reach for her hand, it's always there How long does it last Can love be measured by the hours in a day I have no answers now, but this much I can say I know I'll need her until the stars all burn away And she'll be there How long does it last Can love be measured by the hours in a day I have no answers now but this much I can say I know I'll need her 'til the stars all burn away And she'll be there

Calmer. Gentler. Softer. Warmer.

Lady parts you know.

Becoming my fast favorite. Wow this was nice. Kinda practical and slow coaching. Helped me deal with my shadow. If you have shadows related to success than this can be a good one.

https://www.actualized.org/forum/staff

I'm currently addicted to - Orange juice Drinking alcohol Coffee Animal documentaries

Pretty much like me. Oh I forgot you are INFJ. Hi! Hello!!!! Fellow Emo

The only thing that makes me feel good is thinking about David

This place feels weird crappy and cultish.

Will look into this.

I woke up. He told me he is horny. I said I don't care. He then tried to grab my face and kiss me. And he violently bit my neck. I could feel his teeth digging into my skin.. I was dizzy.

Reliving my past sexual trauma He told me that he will burn me. Cut me into pieces. This was a few years ago. He told me he will cook me. If I screamed no one would hear.. Then I began crying. Tears rolling down my cheeks. He looked at me. He ordered me to sit. I sat down on the floor. Then he told me to stand up. I stood. He laughed at me.. Then he came near and began wiping my hot tears. He took something like a feather, and began stroking my face with it. He told me to calm down. I was scared. Panicking. Trembling and crying. Hot tears down my cheeks. He kept patting me. I felt sleepy. I slept off. I was too tired.

I don't like w weirdos either.

David I want to make your bed warm. I want to sleep with you. You have such a nice body. So strong. I can see your muscles. Those arm muscles attract me. No David please please please. You are not going to touch me. Please. I'm too shy for this. No. Don't. Just be there. ok. No kissing please. I get turned on. Fuck. Don't treat me like a baby..

Then I thought about David.. He is so strong. Like a total Alpha David is the best I like him. But only from far. I don't wanna get close. I want to fantasize sleeping with him. Let's see. David I want you He is a wood cutter. He collects timber. He is in the logging business. I wanted to live in his cabin for a while.

I like guys who are very protective. It's their vibe. It attracts me. These days I don't think too much about attraction. I don't find it holy or wholesome. It is what it is. It is dirty and filled with manipulative people. Reality is different from fantasy. Live in reality. But also live in fantasy. Because that is the only way to deal with reality.. You cannot live like a robot.

The first time you did this, I got a fucking orgasm. I'm a sexual creature. If a guy talks about me, maybe you don't understand how this works, but it triggers me sexually, it feels like sexual pressure, like sexual tension. I don't know about your sexual meter but mine is sensitive. Right now I literally feel like you're penetrating me so hard. It's like verbal penetration. I mean I can defeat others because I don't feel sexual around them. But I'm somehow not able to resist you in the same way. It's so intense, probably your vibe, that I literally feel like you're penetrating me, and I have to simply surrender being tied up. I know this might sound absurd but it's the consequence of sexual tension slowly building up. I don't know what to say about it. If someone personalizes themselves with me, I can get intimate. I mean visually it's like pinning me against the wall, looking straight into my eyes and then challenging me, I would simply give up and let you fuck me. I would feel helpless because it's so intimate. I'm sorry it is this way. But it is what it is. The last thing you said to me definitely made me wet. I'm not that kind of person, in fact I'm sexually repressed. But you keep defeating me till the point that it gets sexual And I give into this sexual surrender. Maybe you don't know how your masculinity is fucking attracting me. I have no idea how to convey my emotions. I'm just candid. Every time he talked about me I felt sexual. I tried thinking about it. But it wasn't of much use. I wrote in my personal diary many days ago that he was negging me. I can't help but be open about my emotions at least to me. I don't know what would have transpired if those conversations had happened in real life? For different women it's different things that turn them on What turns me on is a guy making me want his approval in indirect ways. The more direct he was with me the more I felt sexual. I mean in real life if he walked toward me, I have no idea. I would be frozen in a sexual kind of way. I would just let him kiss me or hold me if he wanted to. Even if he didn't have that intent, I was melting, his wasn't gaming me, but I still felt like I was being drawn into him. I feel sexually defeated but in a good way. By the way, this kind of thing never happened to me, never. Never before. This is the first that someone gave me an orgasm by simply tuning into my vibe and turning it to constantly turn me on ----------

I vented all my inner feelings. I feel relaxed. Put it all out there. No inhibitions. That's my femininity, I can't explain it in any other way. I slept like a baby. I cried a lot before I slept off. I felt like beautiful arms were holding me. I think for me a church like environment fits better. I was talking about valley home. No I won't be bringing a cat I feel bad about it. My emotions are quite deep. I'm aware of it. But what I figured is that I need to have a healthy dose of happiness to have a good start. The love that I had experienced yesterday was very soothing and calming maybe the exact kind that I really wanted. It felt perfect to my soul. To my body. I'm still a bit wet like a virgin who had just been...... I feel something. Maybe I deserved this long ago. It probably was the most beautiful thing ever Happened to me. I felt like I was being held like a baby. I felt like I was being held like a baby and he kissed me afterward. I felt sleepy after that it was a sweet cuddle. I'm just a bit of an introvert. But I felt good.. I felt snuggled.. It was the most passionate most intimate thing that could never die out. Sweet obsession is what I call it. Sweet obsession is what I exactly need You know secretly he is very much like Miss And like a male version of Miss And I secretly always desired that. Wasn't that my perfect soulmate. Thank God for this experience or else I would have never known. Just imagine a male version of Miss fucking me all night till morning. Now that's a treat I don't want to miss out on. That's the most awesome thing to ever happen to me. I would savor every bit of it. Mhmmmm. Yessssssss. What a treat. I just feel so unusual... Like this was meant to be.

He was like the guy in my dreams, like one of my imaginary characters I had dreamt up.. He was making me feel exactly the way I wanted to feel. He was saying things that were challenging my femininity in some way. It was weird yet it worked. And I don't think any other guy had ever achieved this before. Maybe it was all in my head. Well it was what It was. At least it gave me a glimpse into what could turn me on. Is there something called as distant sexuality Where you feel sexual only if the person is at a certain distance from you? And it kinda fizzles when you get too close or too used up. Yea the sexual tension kind of thing I don't know what to say about it.. It goes in alignment with whatever I wrote in my diary of a sexually repressed girl But this guy forever is going to have this strong influence on me. It's epic and it's real. Such a strong sexual competitor never came to me. In real life if a guy had talked like that to me, it would have been the greatest turn on

Maybe I'm wired differently. The problem is that if you get too close to me, I get sexual. My brain is wired in such a way that if a guy is hovering all around me, I begin to feel his pheromones. You don't get it because you can't feel like a woman. I'm a woman, I can't help feeling like a woman? Do you feel my vagina? Do you think it's wet? I got wet. Fuck. I can't help it. Because you do this every time. This sexual pressure which is kinda indirect. I don't feel this way around other guys but why around you? Because you're kinda holding my pulse so hard and maybe you are enjoying it. I don't know. The first time you did this, I got a fucking orgasm. I'm a sexual creature. If a guy talks about me, maybe you don't understand how this works, but it triggers me sexually, it feels like sexual pressure, like sexual tension. I don't know about your sexual meter but mine is sensitive. Right now I literally feel like you're penetrating me so hard. It's like verbal penetration. I mean I can defeat others because I don't feel sexual around them. But I'm somehow not able to resist you in the same way. It's so intense, probably your vibe, that I literally feel like you're penetrating me, and I have to simply surrender being tied up. I know this might sound absurd but it's the consequence of sexual tension slowly building up. I don't know what to say about it. If someone personalizes themselves with me, I can get intimate. I mean visually it's like pinning me against the wall, looking straight into my eyes and then challenging me, I would simply give up and let you fuck me. I would feel helpless because it's so intimate. I'm sorry it is this way. But it is what it is. The last thing you said to me definitely made me wet. I'm not that kind of person, in fact I'm sexually repressed. But you keep defeating me till the point that it gets sexual And I give into this sexual surrender. Maybe you don't know how your masculinity is fucking attracting me. I have no idea how to convey my emotions. I'm just candid. Every time he talked about me I felt sexual. I tried thinking about it. But it wasn't of much use. I wrote in my personal diary many days ago that he was negging me. I can't help but be open about my emotions at least to me. I don't know what would have transpired if those conversations had happened in real life? For different women it's different things that turn them on What turns me on is a guy making me want his approval in indirect ways. The more direct he was with me the more I felt sexual. I mean in real life if he walked toward me, I have no idea. I would be frozen in a sexual kind of way. I would just let him kiss me or hold me if he wanted to. Even if he didn't have that intent, I was melting, his wasn't gaming me, but I still felt like I was being drawn into him. I feel sexually defeated but in a good way. By the way, this kind of thing never happened to me, never. Never before. This is the first that someone gave me an orgasm by simply tuning into my vibe and turning it to constantly turn me on I'll transfer this entry later on in that journal. It's tough for me if a man has such a strong influence on me. I just can't help it, can I? The least that I can do is be as honest as possible about how I feel. His objectivity is kinda sharp for me. I want to know about a virgo. Do they have some influence I Googled about virgo and pisces and this is what I get. The zodiac compatibility between Pisces and Virgo is extremely peaceful and harmonious. They both know what they want from the relationship, and will give each other the time to settle into the same. Virgo, with its practicality and knowledge, gives direction to the Piscean's idealistic dreams. He calms me down. Why would I be so interested in someone if nothing was happening inside me? Now I feel like this is what I was looking for? I'm not sure. Everything always comes to me rather unexpected. I have never felt this sexual in my life. This whole day I thought about him and I had such intense orgasms

You remind me of these songs Eric.

I'm reminded of my dreams with you every time I see your face Eric You are mine Eric and I'm yours.. We will meet in heaven some day. Some day we become one.

I go back to the same old same old same old dream in which you are fucking me and when I see your face I'm once again reminded that you are the one I wanted to be one with Where did you go?

Someone's virginity is none of your business.

First lesson learned. If someone talks about you. You should not talk about them. Red flag I can't believe that I'm considered low IQ and they still bother to read my journals. Oh yeah. That's what high IQ people tend to do Lmao.