Emerald

Sorry, I’m not buying what you’re selling. You’re just as much in fantasy as you were in the original post. Come back to the reality… not the robotic bro science hypergamy nonsense … not to hyper-romantic pedestalization nonsense . Come back to the reality of being human. The mundanity is where it is.

Just reading through the thread… Here’s a bit of a caveat emptor. If RSD coaches break down your self-esteem to get you to buy… they will likely continue to disempower and give you half-crappy/half-helpful advice because it is lucrative to them. Playing off of male insecurity is a very profitable business. You should be cautious because these coaches would lose money if men actually gained confidence and felt better about themselves. Your crippling self-esteem issues and insecurities about your masculinity are their bread and butter.

Too much pedestalization. Still a distortion. Just two sides to the same coin of misrepresentation… one idealized and one denigrated. It all leads to people projecting nonsense onto women and our sexuality. And even if you’re not identified with being into Red Pill stuff, you’re still proliferating their worldview. And look around the internet a bit…, this worldview that you’re pushing as “human nature” just turns men into a bunch of basket cases who can’t even interact with women on a basic human level.

I didn't use an ad hominem attack. I never insulted you. If I called YOU "nonsense" that would be ad hominem. But I didn't. I called your post nonsense... which is true. If you're with women who are cheating on their partners to be with you... you don't have a great dating life. You're attracting low quality partners who have very little integrity. And you're attracting low quality partners largely because of your viewpoint. You're on a bad wavelength. You just don't realize it because you assume that it's just human nature. You'd be wise to differentiate between human nature and low integrity shallow attraction. And you have not done that. And your distorted views on human nature will keep you solidified in these low integrity dynamics.

You’re the OP of this post. So why choose to spread this nonsense? All you’re doing is painting a robotic falsehood over the real thing. Just go out and meet women. Stop theorizing and spinning false horror stories. All this misrepresentation does is murder men’s confidence and self-esteem… and get on women’s nerves.

It can be if you treat it that way. But you don’t need to treat it that way. It’s not about finding some objectively perfect person. But if you’re a woman who seeks only status or a man who seeks only beauty… it will chew you up and spit you out. But that’s because it will mirror your own objectification and fears of inadequacy to you. Play Darwinian games… face a Darwinian fate. But if you attune your intuition to who actually resonates with you, it isn’t so brutal. It’s a process of connecting with those on the same wavelength. And if it sucks… your wavelength probably sucks. Get a better wavelength.

So many of these Red Pill guys are so detached from what a relationship is that they substitute in their own robotic form of bro-science. Too much internet rotting out their brains and self-esteems. You’d think that people are all mono-focused robots based on how they see it. They read no nuance into matters of love and connection. It’s all just a Darwinian survival game that everyone but some mysterious Chad guy wins. Just go out and talk to women and you’ll see that most women who become attracted to you will like you for you. And it isn’t all just some hierarchical and brutal game. There is love to be had between two human beings.

Go to a club with a couple guy friends. And have a few drinks and dance with some women. Then try to get a number. Women expect that they’ll get approached at a club to some extent. So this gives you some social wiggle room. Just be mindful of crossing any serious boundaries. Just have a good time and interact.

Both… but much more struggling within the realm of relationship. His entire viewpoint on relationships boils it all down to a zero-sum survival game. This mono-viewpoint is very non-nuanced and the opposite of multi perspectival and leads to a resistance to human connection in general. And holding and proliferating solely this viewpoint this will especially bring someone into resistance to their feminine side.

But it’s this particular hierarchical viewpoint that leads men to starvation… one which Leo also subscribes to and perpetuates through his dating/relationship advice. I give Leo plenty of credit where it’s due. But this area is one where his lack of integration really comes through.

I don’t see Leo’s feminine side as being very well integrated. He’s on a better foot than some because he understands the value of it in theory. But overall, he doesn’t value the feminine very much.

My view is that the primary Shadow vibration that undergirds Leo and his audience is a feeling of inadequacy and lack of self love. I don’t exempt anyone from his audience of this vibration. I also possess it. So it’s easy to spot. Many people seek personal development to get away from not feeling good enough and feeling unlovable. And while Leo himself is not an Incel and he is consciously against the idea of Inceldom… he holds many of the same self-hating and hierarchical views that contribute to the philosophy of Inceldom. Leo and Incels are both playing the same game. It’s just that Leo and many in his audience have a strong sense of self- efficacy and can keep themselves winning the game. So they perceive that they can win the game… while Incels don’t. The women who hold this vibration on here tend to lead out into lots of ambition and intellect that never feels appreciated. We also play a similar game, though the rules are different. But it’s likewise a strong attempt to escape the feminine stigma and label of inferiority. We have also learned that we have to prove our lovability through what we do. The men on here tend to push the feminine away from themselves in hopes of not succumbing to feelings of masculine inadequacy. That’s why women on here are the recipients of the sexism which comes from a big collective chip on the shoulder of many of the men here… as there is a desperate attempt to banish the feminine in themselves. And this further aggravates the wounds in women associated with feeling under-appreciated, unlovable, and inferior… because they orient to us the way that they orient to their own feminine side. And it is because the men here ( in varying degrees) feel unlovable and inferior and too feminine and not masculine enough. And when they see ambitious women who excel at the masculine, it makes them feel even more so inferior. But it’s really clear that it all roots down to lack of self-love in varying degrees… and a feeling that everyone is trying to out-masculine one another to get away from feelings of feminine inferiority.

I’ve noticed through my interactions on the forum that there are many misconceptions about masculinity, femininity, and polarity in general. And I notice that it backfires on a lot of the guys on here. So, I’m going to share an insight to help clear some things up. The insight is that the feminine and masculine always go together. They are two sides to one coin and they always occur together in all living and non-living systems. So, to engage in systems thinking, we are wise to recognize the interplay between the masculine and feminine. All systems, including the system that is the human personality, have the masculine and feminine. And the masculine and feminine are always joined. And because of this, we can’t repress one side without diminishing the strength and efficacy of the other. So it’s counter-intuitive, but a man who wants to get more in touch with his masculinity will not be able to do so if he’s in resistance to his feminine side. And this is because all masculine qualities have many feminine components. Here’s an example… Let’s say that a man wants to develop his leadership skills and personal sovereignty. Overall, if we paint with broad strokes, these qualities of leadership and personal sovereignty are masculine principled qualities. But the thing to realize about personal sovereignty is that it requires us to be deeply in touch with our emotions to know what we want and don’t want, what we like and don’t like, and what we stand for and what we don’t stand for. So, it is literally impossible to be in your own personal sovereignty AND be out of touch with your own emotions. Your emotions are the root of your sovereignty. And emotions are, in broad strokes, a feminine principled domain. So, in this instance and many others, connection to the feminine is a prerequisite for getting in touch with certain elements of the masculine. And without developing a healthy relationship to the feminine, certain aspects of the masculine simply won’t be able to be expressed. The feminine is the soil that masculinity grows from and vice versa. So, the feminine and the masculine always go together. And you can’t exalt one while resisting the other.

Do you want to be a wife and mother right now? Or do you just feel behind the curve? If it’s the latter, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You will find much more compatible men who will probably be better fathers if you let your intuition and natural desire motivate you towards relationship. Also, if you’re in your early 20s, you still have over a decade left to go before your fertility starts to really decline. So, you don’t have to rush the marriage and baby thing right this second. Now, I got together with my husband at age 20, became a mom at 22, and got married at 24. But my husband and I have been separated for a couple years, though we still live together and co-parent our kids. And we split up in part because he and I are not really on the same page anymore. I really didn’t know what I needed to feel good in a relationship back then. And I have changed a lot on the past 12 years… and him less so because he’s over a decade older than me. I suspect that if I were a bit older when I chose my partner, I’d have a clearer sense of what I want and need in a relationship. Having said that, I’m glad that I became a mom at a young age. I will empty nest at 43. And when I’m 60, my daughter will be 38 and my son will be 35. So, I’ll likely get to be around for a longer while in their lives. That’s also something to take into consideration But overall you’d be wise to follow your natural desires and find out if you really want wifehood and motherhood or if you’re only feeling compelled toward that out of a sense of social pressure.

It mostly comes up when the monotheistic religions framed the Earthly as lesser and even evil. And since those have been the prevailing God image for thousands of years, the societies most influenced by this image have pitted man against nature. For example, in the creation story, the snake (an archetypally feminine symbol because of its close proximity to Earth) is seen as the embodiment of the devil who is a FALLEN angel. And the devil is so Earthly that he lives at the core of the Earth. He was heavenly before but now he has fallen and is lowly and of the Earth. And for tempting Adam and Eve, the snake loses his legs and has to crawl upon his body as will all other snakes from here on out for the devil-snake's transgression. And this implies that he's brought lower and to the Earth. And if you notice... Eve = Evil. The feminine is associated with that which is Earthly and evil. And like snakes, all women are "punished" with pain during childbirth and a monthly menstrual cycles. And for a long time in human history, women were seen as an inherently corrupting and hedonistic force. And children would be weened from their mother as soon as possible for fear that the exposure to her would be inherently corrupting. It was understood that men were closer to God and that women were closer to the devil. And this also shows up a bit in religions like Buddhism that frame Maya as something purely to be transcended and escaped. Basically, most of our world religions have framed the feminine as lesser in a gendered sense and an archetypal sense. But recently there has been an embrace of Pagan and Tribal religious structures, which are all about the relationship to the Earth and how the spirit is here within the matter. This is a contrast to the distant father God image that is, by his nature, away from the Earthly realm.

I can only tell you what I've experienced. The masculine and feminine is a reality that can be experienced phenomenologically as I have experienced it myself. And I experienced feminine energy the first time at age 20 when a very strongly held conviction of mine was that the masculine and feminine were just an invention of culture. But when I experienced it, it didn't resemble cultural ideas of the feminine. It was just a feminine feeling and that was the only word that fit. It was in me and the night sky and all the plants around me. But in terms of qualities being feminine/masculine, there are pure social constructs like the ones that I mentioned. Like pink being for girls and that kind of thing. There's no truth there. It's just culture. And these social constructs actually keep a person's natural energies squelched. But there are universal feminine and masculine archetypes that are consistent across many cultures and eras. And this comes from people noticing these polar energies in regard to certain objects and phenomena. In most cultures and eras, the Earth is associated with the feminine. Even the word for matter in most languages is a derivative of the word for mother. And deities of the sky are usually masculine. And furthermore this is a very important insight for all people to understand... especially those who are looking to upend and not perpetuate patriarchal structures. If a person doesn't recognize that there's a reality to the masculine and feminine, they can unintentionally add to the anti-feminine biases... simply by not knowing what archetypal qualities are masculine and feminine. A person may not realize how biased toward the masculine they truly are. For example, a person who has the mindset that maintaining societal structures is more important than the cycles of the Earth is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. A person who believes that the intellect is more important the emotions is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. A person who sees the physical world as unimportant and something to be transcended and exalts the spiritual life above all is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. A person who values doing over being is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. And if you notice, none of these directly have to do with human gender. A woman can engage in patriarchal mindsets just as much as a man can. Patriarchy really just denotes a social structure where the populace sees archetypal masculine qualities as superior to archetypal feminine qualities... and the system that results from this collective masculine bias creates all manner of issues from climate change to hegemony of every stripe. So not only is an awareness of the masculine and feminine not regressive. It is actually 100% necessary to effectively make progress on all the things that people on the left generally favor. Progress at its deepest root is all about bringing Yin and Yang into integration in our society, so that we can live harmoniously with the Earth. But with all the masculine bias that modern culture has, we have become disconnected from the Earth and cancerous. And we would be wise to learn about the archetypal masculine and feminine, so that we can see the ways we add to this issue.

I’ve read a few and nothing in particular stands out. But the only reason why I could guess from a post if a person is disintegrated with their feminine side is because most people have this issue in some degree and there are really obvious tell-tale signs.

How do you mean?

Masculine and feminine are the building blocks of this reality Matrix. From a certain perspective, they are the 1s and 0s of the binary code that creates reality. And you can experience these subtle qualities directly with the development of sensitivity to them. And it’s very often different from human notions around gender. So masculine and feminine are not specifically linked to humanity or the sex/gender of any being.

From reading your posts, I’d guess you have more Shadow Feminine as a result of a disintegrated feminine side. So you’d need to integrate your feminine side. Lots of guys think their issue is a problem with masculine integration, when it’s actually an issue with feminine integration.

Normal familiarity with the masculine side means that the woman has integrated the capacity to get a big picture perspective and to articulate the insights derived from that perspective in a logical manner. It is also the integration of the Divine Masculine qualities of principled action, non-reactivity, critical thinking, autonomy, rationality, precise articulation, emotional mastery, ambition, life-purpose, goal-setting, results orientation, healthy boundaries, and direction. But with Shadow Masculine possession, this includes hyper-competitive behavior, internalized misogyny, controlling behavior, black and white thinking, passive aggressive behavior, spiritual/intellectual bypassing, being domineering, etc. If you’re familiar with the show, think of the character Helga Pataki from “Hey Arnold!” She’s a great example of what the possessive masculine looks like. The possessive masculine is always there to protect the vulnerable feminine in lieu of healthy masculine integration. But where the integrated masculine creates a healthy boundary, the possessive masculine creates 10-feet tall steel walls with razor wire at the top. But the thing to understand about this forum context, is that a person would have to be somewhat acquainted with the masculine to line up here. What I find is that, on this forum, there is an abundance of masculine integration with the men and women alike. Maybe one or two of the women on here really show signs of masculine possession. But a great many of the men on here lack feminine integration. And this leads to Shadow Feminine behaviors like cattiness, pettiness, lack of direction, lack of motivation, jealousy towards women, obsession with social status, and passivity towards life. And of course, this interferes with the masculine side as well.

Usually, if a woman ends up in an abusive dynamic with a man… especially if that abusive dynamic stems from her relationship to her father and other men who were around her in her childhood… she will have a negative relationship to her masculine side. And this leads to either a lack of Divine Masculine qualities like autonomy, objectivity, direction, self-efficacy, clarity, etc…. Or it leads the Shadow Masculine to take on a possessive role where the woman becomes avoidant, armored, combative, and domineering. And in order for her to heal, she’ll have to likely reintegrate both the masculine and feminine side. The relationship with the masculine will have to be healed because her experiences with masculine people have been painful. And this leads her to see the masculine as strong but evil. But likewise, she may resent and reject her feminine side and womanhood for making her vulnerable to the abuse. And this makes her see the feminine as weakness. So, it would likely need to be both. But if she were to try integrate her feminine side without integrating her masculine side, it wouldn’t work out. And this is because she would be reclaiming the Divine Feminine qualities of receptivity and vulnerability… and meanwhile she has an exploitative, abusive, and tyrannical inner man running amok in her psyche. So the more feminine she becomes, the more receptive to the inner abuse she will be. Because of this, she’d be wise to either begin with integrating the inner opposite… or do both simultaneously.

Yes, that becomes an issue. It’s the whole idea that plays out with the Crusades and killing in the name of Christ. They saw non-Christians as bad. So, in their minds, it was good to kill and torture them. It’s the lack of empathy and the demonization of the other, all wrapped in an ideological blanket of righteousness, that enables those who think they’re doing something valiant and good to actually be doing really shitty things.

Masculine and feminine are not just social constructs. Though there are notions of masculinity and femininity that are purely a product of culture. For example, the idea that pink is a feminine color is purely a social construct. Or the idea that women wear make up is purely a social construct. But there is a consistency across cultures and eras with regard to the archetypal masculine and feminine… which supersedes but informs human gender. And this consistency comes about because, on one level, all things in the cosmos is an interplay between Yin and Yang which are two polar subtle qualities. And the way human beings most readily understand Yin and Yang is through the archetypal masculine and feminine. I used to believe that masculinity and femininity were just social constructs, until I had some awakenings where I was sensitive enough to pick up on these qualities. A good rule of thumb to understand the nature of the masculine and feminine is to look at its associated elements. The masculine is more akin to the elements air and fire. The masculine has no substance on its own but can enact itself upon substances and have a transformative effect. The feminine is more akin to the elements of Earth and water. And so, the feminine has substance but no transformation without something acting upon it. And the overwhelming energy of the Earth is feminine, which is reflected universally in all cultures. The qualities of the masculine include intellect, ambition, movement, and the tendency of human beings to transform Mother Nature to fit its needs and whims. The qualities of the feminine include emotion, acceptance, stillness, and the tendency of human beings to accept and respect the workings of Mother Nature. And you’ll notice that this doesn’t have a lot to do with human gender. The masculine and feminine are not primarily concerned with the gender expressions humanity… though this does impact that domain just as it impacts all domains.

Still hung up on this? Why are you posting this on a personal development forum?