Emerald

It’s mostly about maturity and compatibility for both partners. Both of those are necessary Ingredients. Compatibility can’t be helped. So, it’s important to select for a partner who is generally moving in a similar direction in life. So, if one partner wants to spend their life traveling the world and the other partner wants to settle down and put down roots, they may love each other very much but being together will be very painful. And it will put them in a position where splitting up will be necessary for one or both of them to live a good life. So, you have to pick well. And you do this by getting to know the person first before getting too deeply involved with them. But maturity can be helped. This means working through your own trauma and developing relationship skills based off of deeper understandings about what a relationship is. One such skill to develop is for the man and woman to have good communication skills and work through issues as they arise. And to treat eachother well enough so that the relationship doesn’t feel like hell for one or both partners. None of this is very sexy sounding. But it is what’s necessary to have a good relationship. Now, in terms of women in general, being in touch with their Feminine can enhance the relationship as well. This means listening to your partner empathetically and holding space for them to be vulnerable. And you help him experience the Feminine through you. And it means being very present without any walls up and willing to be vulnerable yourself.

No, emotions are definitely inside of you. They occur in the nervous system. It’s important to be able to separate the external event that triggered the emotion and the emotion itself.

I didn’t watch the video because I don’t want it to affect my YouTube algorithm and start feeding me a bunch of anti-woman videos. But the notion that women view men like they view jobs… there’s a minority of women that do that. Gold diggers exist. But most women are looking for love and companionship. We’re human too… believe it or not. Now, if we go back to the 1950s and before when women were expected to be housewives, then it was really foolish not to treat a marriage like a job. If you married a poor guy… you’re going to be poor for the rest of your life and your children are going to be poor because you’re not allowed to have a bank account or make any money. But now, while most women will take a man’s station in life into account somewhat, it isn’t about that. Women don’t need to be with men anymore to get financial support. So, they can choose freely for the sake of love and companionship.

@Roy I’ve definitely gotten all dolled up just to feel pretty and not left the house. It’s like a little girl playing dress up. It’s fun to do, and it makes a lot of woman feel sexy and powerful. It’s also a persona thing. Like, I feel like myself if I dress a certain way. But I feel a little less embodied if I just throw on sweatpants and don’t do my usual grooming ritual. And it helps me feel more in touch with my Femininity. It’s especially fun if I’m single and interested in a guy that I know I’m going to be interacting with that day. Like “I hope Bill who works at the post office notices me today.” ?

You can do quite a lot of it independently. But of course, a therapist helps. The first thing I would do is to look up Jungian resources about the archetypal Masculine and Feminine as they vary a lot from culture-based understandings of Masculinity and Femininity. It’s a dense read, but you may get some good information in the book “Androgyny” by June Singer. You might also appreciate the books “He” and “She” by Robert Johnson. Those are quick reads. I also got a lot of understanding about the Masculine and Feminine from Jean Raffa. She’s my favorite Jungian author. Her most recent book “The Soul’s Twins” is all about that. She also two other books on the topic “Healing the Sacred Divide” and “The Bridge to Wholeness” But there’s a whole genre of Jungian authors that cover the topic of Masculine/Feminine integration.

Do they belong to me? Apparently I own some male neo-feminists. ? Am I the king pin Feminazi arch nemesis of all that’s good and masculine? And now, I’ve used my dominatrix whip to break the spirits of several men on this thread. And now their only function in life is to spread the great Feminine evil unto the world on my behest. The most common evil line I have them say is “Come on guys. Women aren’t that bad.” And then I give them a treat for doing my evil bidding.

Why would I wish that?

One reason is that the possessive Anima tends to project itself onto women. And the spurned Anima has a lot of Shadow Feminine qualities like manipulation, pettiness, emotional, and vampirism. (Note: these Shadow Feminine qualities are unconsciously expressed in the man’s personality as well.) And this can create a lot of fear in men around interacting with women. And they may even find themselves attracted to women who resemble the spurned Anima. It also makes it just about impossible to have an intimate connection with a woman because the man will unconsciously see her as a proxy for integrating his own Feminine side. And this projection will create barriers to true understanding and intimacy.

I think a lot of men don’t realize the root of their problems are more about the internal than they external. A man might think “I’m terrible with women” And he’ll think his problem is a dating problem… or a social interaction problem… or a gender role problem… or he may think that women are the problem. But the deep problem is the repression of his Feminine side due to shame. And this creates a situation of both obsession with the Feminine because it represents his need for integration in himself… while also feeling powerless to it and feeling contempt for it because the spurned Anima spurns the man right back. But I would suspect that, for the current generation of men, that most will be as they currently are. Only men who are interested in personal development might be interested. The big thing is to raise little boys without all the heavy gender-based expectations. It’s will help them grow into their natural Masculine/Feminine energetic signature.

Masculinity and Femininity are inborn. You cannot add them to yourself or take them away. You can only ignore them and atrophy their development… or you can integrate them and develop them to their most exalted forms. Also, I would say that Joe Rogan has a fair amount of Feminine integration. Andrew Tate is a glass canon. You can tell he’s hiding vulnerabilities under his hardness. So, he’s very disintegrated with the Feminine. I don’t know too much about Goggins or UFC fighters. But the level of Masculinity and Femininity that you have is simply what you have. And it’s best not to repress either of them because you will stunt the growth in both of them.

Yes

?

Anima issues are very common in men who are trying to be more Masculine. Their lack is the Feminine… which is why they feel threatened by it and put women up on a pedestal. And it creates a lot of unnecessary pressure in relation to women.

You hear that sound? It’s the sound of 4 billion sets of legs closing all at once.

No, they work off of one and amplify each other. It’s like an infinity symbol and you have to make it all the way through the circuit to develop yourself as a person. And one side is Masculine and the other side is Feminine. There are certain Masculine qualities that can’t be tapped and developed unless the Feminine is integrated. And vice versa.

Yes, that is why. It’s a bit better in general than when I was growing up despite the presence of those online movements. But men tend to socially punish one another for deviating from societal expectations around what’s agreed upon as Masculine behavior. I’ll call it Macho instead of Masculinity because it isn’t usually based in the deep Masculine. And I think the solution is to get men to realize that their Masculinity is something deeper within them and not something that they can “achieve” by becoming Macho. And in general to get a strong education of what Masculinity and Femininity actually is on the archetypal/energetic level instead of just the cultural level. Then, there’s also the issue of how shame-based traumas make boys/men more susceptible to glomming onto Macho influencers who try to sell them a cure for their soul sickness.

Not sure if I would necessarily say that Masculinity is Femininity on steroids. It’s a totally different principle that operates off totally different internal logic. It’s more like the elements of fire and water. Or air and Earth. They operate very differently from one another. It’s not a manner a degree.

@NoSelfSelf It would seem like it’s an issue with Masculinity. But counterintuitively it isn’t. Polarizing ever more into the Masculine just amplifies the issue. One such reason for this is that attunement to the body is Feminine principled. And social acuity is Feminine principled. And personal sovereignty is internal and thus Feminine principled. And these Feminine principled qualities are all necessary qualities of a developed man. So, a man who resists the Feminine will tend to have social struggles and will be very uncharismatic because he doesn’t have good social attunement or body language. And he will come across as having little power because he doesn’t trust himself or look inward for answers. He looks outward to see what he SHOULD be doing. So, a man who rejects the Feminine and polarizes into the Masculine comes across as nerdy and too logical. Doesn’t pick up on social cues. Then that nerdy guy goes “I need to become more Masculine and less Feminine!” And he further exacerbates the issue. Have you noticed that men who hold onto their Masculinity the tightest, tend to come across as the least Masculine? It’s an issue with pushing away the Feminine internally. And this creates Anima possession where a man starts expressing Shadow Feminine traits. And he projects the possessive Anima onto women, which make women seem cold, harsh, and super powerful. This makes him feel powerless to women. And the stronger the repression is the stronger his simultaneous obsession and hatred of the Feminine gets. And suppressing the Feminine also creates shame in the man when he happens to express something that falls short of the Masculine ideal he’s seeking to emulate.

Haha! Thank you for letting me know. I must have accidentally added it to my playlist. Glad it wasn’t something embarrassing. Maybe I’ll leave the Turtles video on there as a treat. ?

I agree with most of the things in the video. If you look from the perspective of power structures (which are part of the Masculine Principle), men have an advantage because we live in a pro-masculine principle and anti-feminine principle society. And Masculinity is looked upon with more respect which gives men who live up to those culturally Masculine standards significant advantages of power. This is what 1st and 2nd wave Feminism was primarily focused on… getting parity with men in terms of power. And women’s core wound is powerlessness. But if we look from the perspective of the Feminine principle, men and women are both looked down on for expressing Femininity. But men are often much more harshly socially punished for showing culturally or archetypally Feminine traits. And they are assumed to be above all that emotional Feminine nonsense. And unlike women’s barriers to the Masculine, which are more focused on because it’s seen as depriving women of something good.., … men’s barriers to the Feminine aren’t as focused on because many people still see this as men lowering themselves in terms of respectability. It is commonly thought that the dearth of the Feminine principle is a desirable state and something men should deliberately strip themselves of. And so, men and boys are taught to be tough and suppress their emotions and never show vulnerability… or they’ll be exiled by other men and laughed at by women. And this gets absorbed at such a young age that it can really put a little boy at odds with himself and his more vulnerable nature. And this cascades into adulthood if those repressive behaviors aren’t unlearned.

Kindness and compassion are actually in the Masculine principle because they have to do with GIVING love. They are reflective of the Lover archetype which is Masculine and gives love unconditionally. And the Feminine counterpart is the Beloved archetype that receives love unconditionally. The Masculine extends love outward by putting forth the most vulnerable parts of itself. The Feminine is more about receiving and being (as opposed to doing). It is like empathy, listening, yielding, surrendering, holding space, and intuition. It is also non-linear, mysterious, non-rational, emotional, and Earthy… in contrast to the Masculine principled qualities…. Linear, clear, rational, logical, and abstract.

A big part of it is to drop resistance to the Feminine principle in general. This is a subtractive process… not an additive process. The idea is not to make yourself be Feminine but to allow what is already there by dropping resistance to and finding reverence for the Feminine principle in all people and things. This would include qualities like vulnerability, emotionality, receptivity, surrender, non-linearity, and the non-rational. And to be willing to see these qualities in yourself and to allow the world to see them too. This includes developing a relationship to the depths of the Unconscious mind. And this also means not holding on so tightly to the identity of Masculinity… even though counterintuitively this will allow you to be more in touch with the deep unpretended Masculine. This is also a subtractive process. So, that means not being so attached and identified with things like strength, invulnerability, unyieldingness, and rationality and allowing yourself to experience the opposite in yourself with full acceptance. And a big part of the Feminine is internality in contrast to Masculine externality. So to integrate the Feminine is to make decisions from the inside… not the outside. You consult your personal sovereignty and intuition to make decisions, and you don’t outsource the decision making process to the external world of rules, authority figures, shoulda, and should nots.