Emerald

@mr_engineer You were talking about this stuff on the forum the last time I was on here like a year ago. Are you ever going to work through these hang ups and actually go and talk to real women?

Good to hear from you too. I look forward to hearing back from you.

@Emotionalmosquito As it pertains to women, the core wound that impacts men most is shame. As it pertains to men, the core wound that impacts women the most is powerlessness. So, when men are sensitive to being called a creep... it's mostly because it triggers that shame and they aren't able to empathize with how it's a common experience that creepy men often make women feel powerless and unsafe. Thus, men who cannot empathize with women's fears of men and feelings of powerlessness (an only see themselves as vulnerable and women as callous and invulnerable), will only see women's fear of creepy men as a means of shaming and ridiculing them. This unfortunately, makes these men feel unsafe and creepy in women's eyes because they cannot empathize with women and do not understand their own power. There is a phrase that denotes danger that fits here... "He doesn't know his own strength." That is the essence of the creep.

Thank you!

@Canadian There are a couple things that I think could be helpful. I second what @Leo Gura said about quitting the weed as substance addictions can really mess up your pleasure and reward circuits... which mess with your motivation. But there's a bit more... One is to figure out what you're trying to avoid by smoking the weed and face directly with it. Many addictions exist because we're trying to avoid uncomfortable emotions. People can also engage in addictions because they have a difficult time with emotional regulation... so they rely on external substances to regulate their nervous systems. So, consider whether the weed use is serving that purpose for you. And if so, find a healthier way to regulate your nervous system. Then, you'll also want to get clarity on what you truly want in your heart of hearts. This will give you a North Star to move in the direction of... which will give you something bigger to be motivated towards beyond seeking mediocre pleasures and pain relief.

Think of it like the Dao... which is a representation of wholeness and duality all in one. Duality is also an element of Non-Duality. The Finite is also an element of the Infinite. The Illusion is also an element of the Truth. You are both whole and part of God. And you are nothing and you are everything. And you are both one with and separate from God. It just depends of the perspective you're coming from. So, to reject Duality is to fail to be Non-Dual. That means that you can experience "yourself" as God from the perspective of the absolute and infinite... but see yourself as a human in relation to God from the perspective of the relative and finite. When you pray, it is a finite and embodied perspective that is anchored in the illusion. But the illusion is also an element of the truth.

Note: This will be describing what I've learned in my medicine journeys... so it will be a bit surreal. In my medicine journeys, it was shown to me that the purpose of my life is mercy (which is the polar opposite to suffering). And the reason why I was created is because there was part of infinite consciousness that couldn't tolerate infinite suffering. So, it re-imagined a being called Emerald who is finite and imperfect and ordinary... who only has to deal with finite levels of suffering. And in this soul's purpose of my life as Emerald being God's vacation from infinity (and especially infinite suffering)... I also have the option to realize a life's purpose where I seek mercy for myself and help other find mercy too if I should so choose and if it pleases me (though it isn't a requirement). In my journeys from many angles, God has shown me how mercy and suffering are deeply interlinked with one another. And it has shown me that to realize my life's purpose of mercy, I must drop resistance to suffering. That's because there is no mercy to be had without suffering. Mercy can only be realized in the negative space where suffering once was. So, mercy has no value except in relation to suffering. I have had constant upper back and neck pain since I was a small child that have been there every single day of my life. And in one of the medicine experiences that I had, it was shown to me that I was holding all the mercy and suffering in existence in my throat and that's why I had all these physical issues. And from behind my eyes, God (as a deeper element of my consciousness that was the foundation for my human consciousness) was showing me its relationship to mercy and suffering. My neck was swiveling around and around by itself (as it typically does in my journeys). And in that swiveling around... I was feeling the interplay between infinite suffering and infinite mercy. It was like an amusement park of suffering and mercy that existed right inside of my throat. And after a while, I could not tell where suffering ended and mercy began as they were becoming one and the same. Then, God's consciousness (which sat behind my eyes with my human consciousness as a bystander) was playing tricks on itself in my scope of consciousness... where it would create suffering for itself and then reveal the mercy that had always been there the whole time. It was like a parent playing peak-a-boo with a baby... and super mischievous. And it kept doing this, and through my facial muscles would shoot itself a mischievous grin at how much fun the trick was. It had been mercy the whole time... but it would trick itself into believing there's suffering for fun. And I had gone into this ceremony with concerns of experiencing infinite suffering... since I have experienced in prior ceremonies that the consciousness that sits behind my eyes and God's consciousness are one and the same. And then knowing that I will (on some level) experience all the suffering in existence. So, there was a concern that God was experiencing infinite suffering... which is why my consciousness got split off from the infinite in the first place. I saw the God mind and God heart experiencing all sufferings at the deepest levels... and I couldn't tolerate it. I wanted it all to go away. But the infinite must remain infinite... so suffering could not be abolished. So, out of mercy to itself, God allowed that part of itself that could not accept infinite suffering to be finite Emerald. And of course, after this experience, human Emerald was very concerned about God's suffering because I recognized it as one I would be experiencing once the Emerald illusion wore off. But in this other journey, God was showing me that it was okay... and that it was so good at handling suffering, that the infinite interplay between mercy and suffering was just a game to it. And it could have fun with it. To its perspective, mercy and suffering were indistinguishable from one another And it showed me that I didn't need to worry about being concerned about its suffering because it was the perfect parent. And that, unlike the way I was always worried about my own parents suffering as a small child, I didn't need to worry about its suffering. And in fact, it would care-take my suffering because I was the finite one... and as a finite one, I didn't have to deal with the burden of infinite suffering. And it wouldn't expect me as the finite one to take on the infinite sufferings as Jesus had already done that and no one else needed to do it again. Then, it showed me that the way that it manages infinite suffering is by giving finite beings a finite amount of suffering (which would always pass). And it could split off any part of itself as a finite being to give itself mercy (like it did with me). And it could alleviate all suffering in any finite space by pushing it out further into the infinite. And it alleviated all the suffering on the planet and showed me how easy it was. It then gave me the power to alleviate suffering. Just then, a man in the ceremonial space began to cry out in pain. I found out the next day that he had surfaced a repressed memory of a family member raping him as a child. But God let me wave my hand at him and alleviate his suffering... and the cries of pain slowly died down in sighs of mercy. And it granted me the option to wipe the Earth clean of suffering. It hit a discordant note to me to consider that, as there was some element of meaning that was lost (though I don't fully understand this now). I just imagined an image of humanity in one big circle holding hands and there was something empty about it. So, I opted instead for the world to (very gradually) move out of suffering and into mercy (which had been the plan anyway). This would give mercy the proper contrast to be able to truly appreciate and give meaning to mercy (and many other things, I believe). Now, a year later after that medicine journey, I can see that both suffering and mercy are twin elements of the grand design. Though I do want more mercy to happen... and I still get pissed off about needless suffering.... as finite imperfect beings like myself do. Note: It had also told me to be careful about how I teach these truths so as not to be callous to suffering. It showed me that all suffering is an illusion... but it doesn't feel like an illusion. So, if I share that mercy and suffering are God's theme park, it might paint a very different picture than the one that was shown in the eyes of those who are suffering. It's just two different vantage points of the same phenomenon.

Ethnostates cannot safely exist in a world where nuclear power exists... especially not ethnostates that are established by modern top-down authorities as opposed to ones that organically coalesced in the past. We exist in a cosmopolitan world where the most developed countries are diverse with many races, religions, and ethnicities functioning as one people. And we have air travel and the internet. People are not living only as one people like in eras past. Israel touts its claim as "the only democracy in the Middle East"... suggesting that it is more developed than the countries surrounding it. But the most developed and civilized democracies are not ethnostates... nor could they be. So Jews have every right to exist and they should be able to exist and live in Israel... and anywhere. But Jews cannot have an ethnostate (nor can Christians, Muslims, Hindus, etc.) without creating huge problems for non-Jews living in the ethnostate and creating huge problems geopolitically. Ethnostates are an anachronism and belong in the past. We shouldn't be establishing or supporting ethnostates that in the contemporary era.

I wouldn't buy much of anything from that Pill vs Pill ideology. It takes a few kernels of truth and then weave's a very distorted worldview around those kernels. And it will ultimately get in the way of your ability have a good relationship with an actual woman because you'll only be seeing her through the distorted projection screen of Red Pill ideology. But the reason why (in a particular instance) a woman might reject a man isn't because she inherently prefers an asshole over a nice guy. That's too simplistic of an explanation, and there are many potential reasons why this dynamic could arise that are more psychological in nature. One reason is that the woman just isn't interested in the nice guy and doesn't feel that way about him. But she happens to have those feelings for the asshole. It's 100% about feelings. As a woman, I can have two identical men with identical qualities standing in front of me... and one of those men I'll feel neutral about and the other I'll feel very deeply for. So, the quality of the man doesn't matter that much... it's really about how the woman feels about him. But the asshole isn't more likely than the nice guy to have women feel that way about him. But women generally need to feel strongly for a man to be interested in him. It isn't like with men where you notice some positive quality (like looks, kindness, etc.) and make the decision based on that. It's very much about chemistry. And if the feelings aren't there, they just aren't there. It doesn't matter how nice the guy is. But if a woman does have a tendency to frequently be attracted to assholes, then there's probably some internal familial pattern happening. For example, if a woman was raised by a mother or father who was aloof who she didn't get validation or attention from... she may go seeking for a partner who's equally aloof. This enables her to repeat the dynamic from her parents where her partner is aloof. And the hope deep down is that if she can get the aloof guy to give her love, then it is the same thing as her aloof parents giving her love. And because of this dynamic, she feels discontent when she's in a relationship with a guy who will give her the love freely... thus leading her to reject what she really needs in favor of playing out familiar patterns. And that's just one example among many. But the issue with Red Pill is that it weaves a lot of lies and illusions around a few truths. And it creates a distorted vision of what human relationships are and why people choose the people they choose. And they often default to more sciencey sounding biological interpretations of preferences. But the reality is that people are far more influenced by their psychology than they are by their biology when it comes to who they're attracted to and who they end up in a relationship with.

I'm not suggesting using diplomacy with Hamas. That wouldn't work. The IDF should go after Hamas... and do so with significantly more precision. But the actions of the Israeli government don't convey to me an urgency to free hostages. It conveys to me that they're using the hostage situation to justify killing innocent civilians and give a rationalization for why destroying half of Gaza and having a 95%+ civilian death toll is okay. It seems very evident to me that the real goal of the Israeli government is to get rid of Palestinians, and going after Hamas gives a smokescreen of plausible deniability that allows them to get rid of lots of Palestinians in a way that they can avoid scrutiny and avoid being seen as breeching international law.

There was a video that I watched years ago of a family that had just been kicked out of their home and they were standing on the street outside of it with the mother and children crying as it was being bulldozed. The suffering in that video really struck me. But there are tons of videos of Palestinian being kicked out of their homes and their homes being demolished. Then, there were the some images that I ran across about 10 years ago of dead and badly maimed Palestinian children after an Israeli air strike. The vast majority of the dead from that airstrike were children. So, that was probably the most disturbing. And as an American, I always found it just as disturbing that the American government is supplying these weapons and turning a blind eye to the suffering. And now there are videos circulating around of parents grieving their recently killed children and basically carrying around their children's dead and bloody bodies as they attempt to evacuate the rest of their family. But the power imbalance comes from Israel being a colonial project. That's where a group comes in and marginalizes the population that already lives in the area and basically takes over. At the time Israel was founded, colonialism wasn't really seen as a bad thing in the general populace. So, they clearly stated it was a colonial project and sought the advice of other colonial powers in the establishment of Israel. The idea back then was that colonialism was good because it was framed as a more civilized people bringing civilization to a less civilized people. But right now, most people realize that colonialism is harmful. So, currently there's a lot of propaganda to frame Israel as a decolonization project to oust Palestinian colonizers. But it was always intended as a colonial project. And that's always going to give the colonizers significantly more power than the colonized.

They ordered over a million people to evacuate them to evacuate on a very short notice with almost no resources to evacuate with. They cut off the vast majority of supplies from coming in. Occam's Razor here is that Israel has to at least make it look like they're complying with international law and trying to avoid killing civilians and just going after Hamas. Here's an article from Human Rights Watch about the evacuation... https://www.hrw.org/news/2023/10/16/why-israels-gaza-evacuation-order-so-alarming

That is the nature of an ethnostate to create a zero sum game between the group in power and groups labelled as other. Whichever group shares the ethnic identity that's tied to the national identity will always do its best to remove anyone from the ethnostate that doesn't share the ethno-nationalist identity. That's why I disagree with the existence of ethnostates because it always leads to things like oppression and genocide. And people who become highly identified with the collective identity of being from (fill in the blank) nationality and (fill in the blank) ethnicity will not be able to see the problems with their government because the individual ego gets wrapped into the collective ego. So, someone who identifies strongly with being a member of an ethnostate is not going to recognize the problems because someone criticizing the state will feel similar to someone criticizing themselves as an individual. They get too close to see the problems. Sometimes it's better to see things from afar and with beginner's eyes... like in the story of the Emporer's new clothes. From what you said above, you seem to take for granted that the land cannot be shared by people who happen to share two different ethnic backgrounds. But other places that have both Arab and Jewish populations are not having the issues that are happening in Israel. Those issues are coming up because Israel was founded as a colonial ethnostate and began ousting the people that already lived there from their homes. Regarding Israel, I see 3 ways things can go down... Transform Israel from being an ethnostate to being a state that doesn't have a set collective ethnic identity where people from different backgrounds can live together in an integrated way (aka A one-state solution) Keep Israel as an ethnostate but establish Gaza as a separate sovereign state where Palestinians can be free from colonization (aka A two-state solution) Israel remains an ethnostate and the IDF removes the Palestinian population entirely from Israel through exile or genocide. And right now, it seems very clear to me that option 3 is the favored option of the powers that be.

Obviously Hamas is committing war crimes. They're terrorists. And I'm not justifying anything Hamas has done. If anyone is doing that, they're very out of alignment with truth and love. But once again, this is another attempt to run away from the truth... The Israeli government is committing war crimes and enacting collective punishment against Palestinian civilians in the Gaza Strip... most of whom are under that age of 15. Can you acknowledge that?

I'm sure that the situation altogether is very complex because any shifts in the power structures is going to be chaotic. And if you have a group of people that lacks a sovereign state and the ability to have a state military... you're going to get Shadow forms of the government and Shadow forms of the military cropping up. That's likely why Hamas took power in the power vacuum that Israel created in 2005. That's why 'giving the keys' to a non-sovereign people only works if either integrate them fully or you grant them their own sovereign state. Otherwise it just creates a power vacuum where they still have no military defense. I haven't seen this video. But I've heard tell of a video from years ago of Benjamin Netanyahu saying he wanted Hamas to get stronger so that he can use their terrorism to justify using military force against Palestinians. Again, I haven't seen this video. But if that is true, then it's a possibility that the situation in 2005 was meant to sew some chaos. Also I'm not saying that Jewish people don't belong in Jerusalem or anywhere else for that matter. What I'm saying is that the Israeli government ousting people from the place they've lived in for their whole lives is not okay. And the power imbalance and injustices that are happening to the Palestinian people are not okay.

But there is an objective truth here. And you're going into looking from these different angles to avoid looking squarely at that truth. The truth is that the Israeli government is oppressing the Palestinian people and committing war crimes against innocent civilians (mostly children). Focusing on any other angle than that angle is just an attempt to look away from the ugly truth of it.

Number one, Israel still isn't supposed to commit war crimes against innocent civilians... regardless of what Hamas is doing. Number two, it isn't "being lenient" to avoid killing innocent civilians. It's just following international law. Israel doesn't have to kill thousands of children to prove to Hamas how tough they are. And the IDF killing thousands of children isn't going to stop Hamas from doing acts of terrorism. If the IDF really wanted to go after Hamas, they could be laser focused in their approach to taking out Hamas combatants. But instead, they are bombing entire city blocks. It's the equivalent of if a murderer was in a house down the street from you. And the police comes in and bombs everyone within a 5 block radius. Number three, Palestinians don't have the option to set healthy boundaries as country. It is not a sovereign country and it doesn't have any means to defend itself... because of the Israeli government. And Israel holds all the power in this equation... and it isn't making any moves towards a one-state or two-state solution. Its goal is to just get rid of the Palestinian people altogether. That's what ethnostates do. Also... consider how you would respond. Let's say for example that Canadians came to where you live and they began displacing you and your family and all of your community... and pushing you into the worst places to live. And you grew up in a territory that was occupied by Canadians... and Canadian soldiers were on your block with machine guns. And then, some of your siblings and cousins were killed in a bombing done by the Canadians. And your whole life was just non-stop strife because of the Canadian occupation. Do you really think that you wouldn't feel any feelings of anger or hatred towards Canadians at all? I honestly think you'd have to be a saint if you didn't feel those feelings at all. Of course, I'm never pro-hatred in any context as it leads to terrible outcomes in any case. But I recognize the feelings of hatred of the oppressed towards the oppressor as coming from a very vulnerable place. And it's unrealistic to expect that an oppressed people would bear no anger or hatred towards the oppressing group. And I feel like you're choosing to see the Palestinian's anger solely through the lens of Muslim religious extremism and antisemitism when the Palestinians have every reason to be angry about what's been done to them and is being done to them. So, I feel like focusing on this angle is another way to create cognitive dissonance to avoid seeing the wrongs that the Israeli government has levied against the Palestinian people. Do you see that you're finding rationalizations to keep yourself from facing squarely with these realities?

Well... Israel is the one that's causing the conflict. That's why people are looking to Israel to solve the conflict... because it's the Israeli government that's enacting the oppression. So, it's not really fair to lay the blame at the feet of surrounding nations. Certainly the surrounding nations should help. But they're not to blame for the state of Israel's oppression of Palestinians... Israel is. You might be thinking something along the lines of 'Muslim nations should help an oppressed Muslim populace.' or something like that. But focusing on religious collective identity just creates a smoke screen of cognitive dissonance to those who don't want to criticize the Israeli government... and obfuscates the responsibility for the Palestinian oppression onto nations that aren't actually doing the oppression. It would be like if a bully was beating up a smaller kid. Then, when the parents of the bully were confronted about their kid's behavior, they would say something like "Well, why didn't the other kids come in and defend the smaller kid? Why is my son getting all the blame for bullying the smaller kid when the other kids aren't even doing anything to help?"

To be more general... think of an oppressive state as a Petri dish... and a terrorist group is like the bacteria that grows from that Petri dish. Most terrorists groups crop up and gain power in these types of conditions. If you observe it from a distance you'll recognize that this pattern crops up all over the place. These are general human patterns that can be noticed. Now Hamas is the bacteria that has grown from the Petri dish of the oppressive state of Israel. And Hamas definitely wouldn't have power that it currently has if it wasn't for the Israeli government oppressing the Palestinian people. Now, since Hamas already exists... if Israel suddenly stopped oppressing the Palestinian people, it wouldn't go away per se... but it would begin to slowly lose power once Palestinians were granted human rights. And after several decades of Palestinian equality, Hamas would likely dissipate or grow impotent. Terrorist groups don't gain power out of nowhere. They gain power from the collective pain and trauma of a people or a nation. That's how these groups recruit people and stir up a fervor for violence. Take a teenage boy living his whole life under occupation in the Gaza Strip who witnessed his entire family get blown up by the IDF. Then, with the pain and bitterness associated with that experience, that teenage boy is very susceptible to recruitment from Hamas. And he's not the only one. The more trauma and terror the Israeli government levies against the Palestinian people... the more recruits that Hamas will be able to find. So, what the IDF is doing now is most certainly going to strengthen the power of Hamas over time. But if there is no substantial oppression and collective trauma, a group like Hamas isn't going to be able to recruit very many people at all. Pain and trauma is the glue that keeps a terrorist group together and in power. Of course, pre-terrorist hate groups exist in every region (i.e. the KKK, Neo-Nazis, etc.). But they aren't able to recruit much and gain much power unless the population experiences a trauma or upheaval strong enough to push those who exist in the center to the extremes. Only then do these groups begin to amass power. They still exist, of course... but they exist on the fringes with minimal power.

Don't let your allegiance to a government get in the way of your ability to recognize human rights abuses and injustices. Palestinians have been displaced, marginalized, and oppressed by the Israeli government for decades. And the Israeli government is using the Hamas terror attack to justify killing civilians and framing it as a defense, when it is actually collective punishment and genocide. They bombed an entire refugee camp a few days ago to go after just one Hamas official. And that killed hundreds of innocent civilians. And the Israeli government has already killed over 3x as many Palestinian civilians as Hamas has killed Israeli civilians... and Israel is a country, so it should be held to higher standards regarding the rules of military engagement than a terrorist group. But right now it's not being held to the international rules for military engagement. They're being given carte blanch to indiscriminately carpet bomb the Gaza Strip. And while Hamas's terrorism is absolutely despicable, it's important not to conflate Hamas with the Palestinian people. Over half of the people in the Gaza Strip are children. So when the Israeli government is carpet bombing the Gaza Strip, they are killing MOSTLY children. And make no mistake... these are war crimes. Try to imagine if the shoe were on the other foot.... Let's imagine that there was a Jewish majority country. And then a handful of decades ago, Muslims who were fleeing oppression wanted to set up a Muslim homeland based off of some of the scriptures in the Quran. Then, they went to that Jewish majority country and began ousting Jewish families from their homes and pushing them into smaller and smaller areas of land to live in abject poverty and oppression, so that they could set up a Muslim ethnostate. And the Jewish people in this ethnostate would be ruled by a totally different set of laws than the Muslim citizens. Then, as typically happens in these situations where one people oppresses another people and a country is denied its sovereignty from another nation... a terrorist group takes power. And they become a shadow version of a military force in lieu of being able to protect themselves with a sovereign state military. Then, this Jewish terrorist group (that represents a very small minority of Jewish people living in the region) commits a terrorist atrocity against the Muslim civilians living in the ethnostate. And the Muslim ethnostate's government uses this atrocity as an opportunity to bomb all of the Jewish civilians by claiming that they're just going after the terrorists... they just so happen to kill 99.99% civilians. And in statements from the state's officials they even claim that there are no true Jewish civilians. If the shoe were on the other foot... would you find that situation to be just?

A deep connection doesn’t necessarily mean a compatible romantic relationship that serves both partners. A deep connection will arise simply from living life together like any other familial bond. As far as the separation goes, things are much better between him and I as friends and co-parents. I was really unhappy in the relationship. And I’ve opted for the past several years to still live together despite our separation so that we can see our kids every day and not miss out on the family dynamic. Now in terms of relationships in general… Once you get past the initial attraction stage… things get less exciting but they grow a lot deeper. “Still waters run deep” is a good quote for describing it. So, anything that requires a significant amount of “game” past the initial attraction stage will just get in the way of that deepening because game is about creating excitement and intrigue… but real relationship is markedly uneventful.

Have you ever had a relationship with someone before? I feel like you’re going towards this notion that all human interactions are shallow because you’ve never had a real relationship before. And perhaps your friendships haven’t even been that deep. Relationships can actually go extremely deep. For example, my relationship to my husband is really quite deep because we’ve seen each other almost every day for the past 13 years. And we’ve been separated for 4 of them. But the relationship still deepens as we live and raise our kids together. And in my other romantic relationships, things have gotten deep fairly quickly as we shared more experiences, conversations, and personality facets with one another. My advice would be to seek out relationships and friendships that can give you deeper wisdom into what it means to relate.

Lots of men like to romanticize the notion of what it means to be a man in order to get away from feeling disempowered. And one of the ways they do this is by cherry picking certain biological insights and weaving them together into a male empowerment fantasy narrative. And these narratives are usually about men holding power over women in the realm of sexuality, dating, and relationships. This is because men often feel disempowered in relation to women and their feelings about women. And they want to tell themselves a comforting story that puts the woman in the disempowered position relative to men. And so, they may cherry-pick some scientific truisms around men having biological urges to spread the seed wide… and they use these truisms to weave themselves a narrative like… “Women just need to embrace the “natural” female role because it’s in alignment with nature for men to cheat. And if she complains, then she’s going against nature and being too Masculine… because natural Feminine women are accepting when their men cheat. And women are only desirable when they’re Feminine, so they need to allow men to cheat or the man won’t be interested in them anymore because they’re not Feminine enough. I bet they’re not Feminine enough because of daddy issues and having too many trains run on them. So, women should definitely stick with one guy because lifelong monogamy is the only kind of sexual experience that doesn’t damage the woman. Also, think of lions! The alpha male gets to mate with all the females and the female lions are okay with it.So…” Etc. Etc. Etc. This is just one example of a male empowerment fantasy narrative. And they’re everywhere. And because of the internet… you have scads and scads of men wrapped up in the same male empowerment delusions. And it’s really annoying because they really believe it’s true. But the main function of men talking about this and creating this narrative is to make himself feel empowered simply for being part of the male identity group.

I’m not entirely sure what you’re saying here. But am I correct in my understanding that you mean that you wouldn’t ask a woman how she’s doing because you already know she’s doing great. And you know she’s doing great because you’re at the center of the conversational experience… and so because she is speaking with you, you know that she’s having a good time. And you’re saying that all conversations between human beings are surface level. And then claiming that I’ve never met a guy that I have felt moved by. And that men connect to the deeper “make up” of the woman. But women are only connecting to the facade that men are putting on to attract the woman. Did I interpret this in the way that you meant it?

If a guy doesn’t care how the woman is doing, she will probably pick up on that and not want much to do with the guy. Women are mostly looking for a human connection with a man.