Emerald

I'm glad it was relatable. Same here. It's super transparent if a guy is just giving spam attention. For me personally, it's only really interesting if there's something that develops organically from a totally platonic place first. And if a guy is trying to take things to a romantic place right away without the slow burn of gradually intensifying feelings and a deepening platonic intimacy that threatens in moments here and there to become than platonic, it isn't compelling enough to entertain anything. Yet again, I understand that when people are looking for a partner, they might be more open to meeting people they don't yet know for those purposes. I was always just really compelled by the slow burn and the tension that comes from waiting but unrealized potential and a wondering of if the feelings are mutual. And guys who approach romantically right away are analogous to reading the end of the mystery novel first. It destroys the tension and mystery and there's no barriers to push up against to develop deeper levels of intimacy.

I elaborated above. He was claiming that all women just go for the top 20% of guys and that all other men are invisible. And that's not true. Most women are attracted to guys who are evenly matched with themselves. The problem is looking at things purely from a biological perspective, when it's would be far better to understand all the complexities and nuances of being a vulnerable, living, breathing, feeling human being. And this is what is missed with the bro-science perspectives. So, women aren't just biological robots that are programmed to be attracted to the top 20% of guys. We are fundamentally operating from a more subjective and emotional space. And most women just get attracted to a guy she feels good around. And for the average woman, she will be attracted to the average guy.

The call is coming from within the house. Yes, there is religious extremism... and that's a problem. And it's annoying being proselytized to. And we have to watch out politically for Christofascist dictator types who may abuse their positions of power. But all this fear and desire to fight that you have is more about what you're projecting onto religious people. Like I've seen you say a few times that you don't want religious people to have the ability to vote... which is incredibly authoritarian. And you've even projected onto Leo that he's going to be some kind of messiah that protects the world from religious extremists... which he's never expressed interest in doing. He just sees them as state blue people and that they do and will exist. So, you are only seeing your own authoritarian, extremist, absolutism in them. And you're trying to oppress them before they oppress you. But everything you're saying is 100% about you and the way that you think about things. And if you want to feel safer, you must change the inside first.

No, you need to be upfront about that from the get-go or it's completely dishonest. And bear in mind, that I'm saying this as a monogamously oriented bi-sexual woman. If a guy sprung that on me, I definitely wouldn't be sticking around. But there are plenty of women who are polyamorous themselves. And if you're interested in that kind of a relationship, you have to advertise yourself as such from the get-go and go for those polyamorous women. And yes... most women aren't interested in that. So, of course, most women will reject you. But there are bisexual women out there who are polyamourous and want a boyfriend and a girlfriend and would prefer that dynamic. But You have to find them. It just isn't right to establish a monogamous relationship under the pretense of monogamy and spring it on your partner. Also, if she'd just have a threesome to make you happy, that also isn't healthy. She should only be agreeing to a threesome if she's excited about it for her own gratification.

I agree with that. But that's not what I mean by repression. Repression is where someone has all this shame about having sexual feelings and thoughts. And I was giving an example of how that manifested in a very religious person with lots of sexual shame.

I do indeed deny this! This thing that so many men believe isn't actually true. It's just part of the way that grifters in the Manosphere capitalize off of men's insecurities and shame by selling themselves as a solution to a problem that doesn't actually exist. They tell men "If you're not in the top 20% of men, no woman will ever like you. So, buy my program to become a top 20% kind of guy!" Or if you're on a black pill channel they'll say, "Let's face it, you're hopeless. Send in your picture and pay me money and I'll rate your face to tell you how hopeless you are." These Manophere grifters are down-right predatory and prey on a man's weaknesses and teaches him false narratives about reality that will worsen his relationship with women. Of course, there are women who exist that want to go after a guy for his status, money, fame, etc. And of course, gold-diggers exist. But these women are in the minority. Most women aren't going for the top 20% of men. Most women tend to organically get attracted to a man that is about at the same level as them. One tendency that women have is to try to look for their match. And most couples are about equivalent in terms of age, attractiveness, wealth, intelligence, etc. And this is easy to spot if you look at the world... instead of at the narrative that's been fed to you. Look around at all the married men you've ever known. Are they all (or even most) in the top 20% of guys? If you pay attention to how reality actually works, you'll be able to let go of these silly narratives and actually be able to have normal interactions with women without tons of shame popping up.

Thank you! I actually have set up a new channel that's meant for more self-actualization oriented content. I haven't begun it yet because I have some more urgent fish to fry. But my plan is to niche down in my Diamond Net content to be focused mostly on Shadow Work as that's what most of the audience I've cultivated on there are interested in. And in my new channel (called Emerald) I plan to use it for more miscellaneous wisdom and insights that help people reach their full potential. But I probably wouldn't tackle dating advice in particular as that would tend to pigeon-hole me into cultivating a specific audience that's looking for that. And I could give a lot of great relationship advice for women, and the topic is somewhat interesting to me. But I don't want to become known for it. This is especially true because I've always had an audience that's like 60% male and 40% female.

Yes, I am. My channel is called The Diamond Net.

But you weren't talking about the male perspective in your previous post. You were talking about the female perspective, and your perception of the female perspective is nothing like how the vast majority of women actually think about men. So, the things you are worried about aren't actually true. And if you can grasp that, you will understand that I'm trying to do you a solid and that my previous post was for your benefit.

Here are some pieces of advice... If you don't already have this taste, acquire a taste for mature stable men who are looking for relationships and who you can have a good longterm friendship with. Develop a distaste for immature men who base their self-worth off of how good they are with women. Get really sensitive to these vibes, so that you can sort them right away as they won't feel contented with themselves if they aren't getting lots of validation from lots of women. A man who is a little bit shy and more reserved about showing interest in a woman is a green flag as long as that reservedness doesn't come from putting women too high up on a pedestal. A guy that's too smooth or confident around women and starts immediately on a romantic foot can often be a red flag as he's probably just spamming lots of women with that behavior. Build up a strong circle of acquaintances and friends, and develop feelings organically towards a man that you can observe over a longer period of time in your social circle. Avoid guys who approach you at random as they do that with lots of women, and often see 'getting good with women' as an achievement. Tune out from your checklist of desired qualities in a partner, and tune into the feelings and vibes you feel towards a man you've been around for an extended period of time. Become an expert sorter! Lots of men will approach, but you only want to give the ones a chances that you have some feelings for and that don't have any of your deal breakers. Develop and lean into your own unique style and persona. Guys who aren't very serious about a relationship just want a woman... any woman will do. But if you lean into your style and unique personality traits, you'll scare off the wrong ones and attract the right ones. The worst thing you can be is a crowd pleaser... as that will attract a lot of spammy attention. Pay attention to his values and sort based off of any red flags that indicate a tendency to devalue women or see Femininity as lesser than Masculinity. The main this is to be social and develop a strong social circle... and to get really discerning about how you sort men. And you'll want to develop your intuition to where you're naturally drawn to men who will be healthy stable partners and were you're naturally repelled by men who haven't matured enough to truly prefer and value relationship/friendship with a woman. And if you notice any red flags in men, I recommend avoiding spending much time with them so that you don't organically develop feelings for them. And get REALLY picky when it comes to maturity in particular.

This is a perspective that's very out of touch with how most women think about men.

That fits with my experience a bit. The Ayahuasca has a more Feminine feel to it, even though the God elements of the experiences were very Masculine. But the mushrooms have this, (what I call) crazy uncle vibe. It didn't have as nurturing and strong of a touch to it. Tough it was powerful in its own right... it just didd have as much of a bedside manner.

Me personally? Or hypothetically if I did have that desire? Personally, I just don't have a desire to have sex with lots of men. I know men usually feel that way about women. But from the perspective of most women, having sex with a lot of guys is not very interesting. And honestly, if we did find it interesting, it's pretty easy to set that up. Just approach any guy on the street and there's like a 60% chance he'll say yes. And it's somewhat uncommon for me to develop a strong enough feelings for a guy to want to be physical with him, as I'm not very interested in the physical experience of sex without the presence of deeper feelings of heart-centered intimacy and the ability to surrender into the long-term pair-bonding process... as the long-term pair-bonding process is where I feel the actual feelings of intense desire and eroticism. And (15 years ago) when I was 20 years old and I was single and didn't have much of a friendship/family support network, I did have several brief flings and one-night stands with some guys that I didn't have very strong feelings for. But I found those experiences to be lack-luster. They were more boring than I expected them to be because there wasn't much there to derive a compelling meaning from. That said, if I do have those kind of thoughts or feelings arise that might lead me to want to seek intimacy with someone (which happens like once every other year or so)... I don't shame myself for them or repress them away. I observe myself having them and let myself feel them and even enjoy the feelings as they come. They are normal sexual feelings and resisting them gives them more power and meaning than they actually have. So, I also keep in mind that these feelings don't have some kind of magic meaning to them... like I'm meant to be with who I'm feeling them towards. And I've been through that feelings-cycle enough times to know that those feelings are only meaningful if I make them so. And that, if I followed them every time I felt them, I'd be in a bi-yearly cycle of changing relationships. And that would be very ungrounding and unfulfilling. But to be clear, my husband and I are married, live together, and raise our kids together. But we haven't been in a romantic relationship for over 5 years. So, we have the family and friend element of the relationship still... but not the romantic element.

Thank you. It seems to me that I'm very sensitive to substances in general (even alcohol). And with regard to entheogens I only need a little bit to have a profound spiritual experience. I have never experienced a psychedelic where it didn't include an awakening to the presence of God. I went to the ceremonies a few times with a friend. And in his first sitting with Ayahuasca, there were entities that were showing him things... and taking him on a ride in vehicle. And the entities were sharing insights with him. And he had to purge and had to integrate his hatred. Then, once he did that... in his next sitting with the Ayahuasca he was able to experience God directly from that point onward. And God had told him that, previously, he wasn't ready for it because he hadn't integrated his hatred yet. So, he needed intermediary entities to communicate to him... as opposed to going directly to the source. And God shared with him that the definition of unconditional love is to accept everything and its opposite... and as a reflection of this insight he asked him if he could love the Nazis. And he said "no". And God said "I can."

That's just the way that the human psyche operates when an instinct is shamed away and repressed. That's the nature of the Shadow. So, it's not shocking to me at all, and I have a great deal of understanding for people in these kinds of cycles, because I have my own cycles that manifest in different ways. The more you resist and repress something, the more out of control its expression becomes.

I looked back at what she said, and there was nothing particularly out of place or against the rules for this forum. And I've never even personally seen a single post from her that actually goes over the line. So, I can't help but think that you're engaging in a bit of a double standard here, and have gotten a bit triggered by her being a sex worker. And you're responding with hostility that doesn't match the situation at all. Consider that there are TONS of posts from guys on this section of the forum that are a reflection of their own traumas being posted all the time... and a lot of those posts end up scapegoating women and projecting all sorts of stuff onto them from weird Red Pill/Incel narratives. It's like every other post on this part of the forum that's criticizing women for this or that thing the vast majority of women often aren't even doing. But she reflects her feelings of disapproval about men viewing sexual abundance with women as a measure of success. And this sexual abundance trophy dynamic is pretty commonplace and commonly impacts women who are sexually attracted to men in tangibly negative ways to where it makes sense that a woman wouldn't like that. And that's primarily because it steals away the meaning from the gesture. And her stating her opinion about that and how it impacts her in her line of work, has brought out this really intense reaction from you and lots of criticism towards her as a sex worker and telling her to stop being one and accusing her of being traumatized... which isn't your place. Why such a strong reaction?

I'm sure that's true. I have a really good friend who grew up in a small Mormon town in Canada where everyone was Mormon. And his family has been Mormon since the 1800s. He never indicated anything like that specifically that he personally knew of. But he knows someone who struggles with a pretty debilitating sex addiction and cheats on his wife with a bunch of prostitutes very frequently. And he goes through this cycle of feeling holier than thou and finally in control of his sexual urges and he judges people for their normal sexual urges... only to fall into a sex binge shame cycle. And the shame is that he doesn't recognize that the purity-focused holier than thou phase of the cycle just sets up the bowling pins to be knocked down during the sex binge phase of the cycle.

There's no in between... It's either watching soft-core missionary with a guilty conscience through the slats in their fingers. OR Hardcore sex dungeon with donkey decapitation play.

I once saw that the place in the US with the highest porn consumption rate is Utah... with double the rate of porn consumption compared to the rest of the country. And Utah is full of hyper-traditional Mormons that believe as a part of their scripture that premarital sex is the second worst sin there is... only coming in second to murder. So, my guess would be that traditionally conservative areas with strongly held and deeply socially enforced religious values that prohibit sex and lust would have the highest rates of porn consumption.

Well, that just sounds like a recipe for the worst yeast infection EVER.

You're welcome. There's a lot in the Feminine spiritual path, and God has specifically reflected to me in my journeys that the reason I'm female in the first place is because I preferred this path... which is quite similar to what Ken Wilbur was saying in the quote you had up previously. The way I would characterize the more Masculine path (which I've also had some experience with, but I don't prefer it) is the realization of nothingness as a result of ego death. While the Feminine path is the Earthly path... and is about finding meaning and beauty through embracing limitations and dualities. In my Ayahuasca experience back in 2020 right at the beginning of the pandemic, I came in with the question "Should I continue to seek enlightenment or should I double down into my human perspective as Emerald?" And this had been something nagging at me at the time. And so, when I took the Ayahuasca, I began to die. And there was this wave of death coming in to annihilate me. And there was nothing I could do. So, I surrendered to it... and I kept working to surrender and surrender and surrender. And I even had to surrender to the fact that there were parts of me that couldn't surrender. And then, there was pure nothingness and pure consciousness. And the consciousness recognized the enlightened state, but there was no Emerald to experience it. Emerald and the entire world had blown away like dust in the wind... and obvious illusion. Then, from that nothingness the everythingness began to arise. And the consciousness that typically sits behind my eyes experienced itself as the infinite God mind and infinite God heart. And my consciousness was in the perspective of the Divine Masculine... love and knowing all forever and ever and eternity all in one instant. And my consciousness was grieving all griefs and suffering all sufferings in this infinite nothingness where everythingness arises. But then, the point of consciousness that typically sits behind my eyes couldn't tolerate the infinite suffering. And the point of consciousnesss that sits behind my eyes went from an infinite oneness and split into to a twoness. And there was God consciousness and a slightly split off fractured God consciousness. And the whole God consciousness would wrap itself around everything and this fractured God consciousness and alleviate all the sufferings. And the point of consciousness that typically sits behind my eyes would feel relieved... only to have infinite suffering re-arise and to be back to grieving all griefs and suffering all sufferings. And this cycle of suffering as semi-fractured God consciousness went on and on and on for an eternity, until the point of consciousness that sits behind my eyes surrendered and conceded that it could not be with the infinite suffering any longer. So, God... out of mercy towards itself... split this part of itself off completely to give it mercy from the infinite by embodying it in a finite form. And then, after an eternity of death, the Emerald illusion was re-spun. And I was born again in the same moment of death from an eternity before when the medicine journey first began. And I now understood why I decided to come into this life in the first place... as God's vacation from the infinite. But I was like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings when he forgot his name after an eternity outside of space/time. And it was difficult to get re-grounded as Emerald. And then, after I came back into form I had to struggle to keep my consciousness grounded to my body as the Ayahuasca was still in effect. And I fought and fought and fought in a process that felt a little like death, a little like sex, and a little like childbirth. And then after this struggle, I gave birth to the new world. (Note: This was the first week the pandemic lockdowns began and that was evidently related to this new world.) And God consciousness (now separate) was sharing with me that my life's purpose is mercy... and that my reason for being incarnate is mercy through limitation of suffering. And that I can also, act as an intermediary in my life to help other human beings experience mercy. And it had gifted me with capacities and experiences of trauma and suffering for doing that... just because I wanted to be able to play that role. The thing is... hen you're incarnate, you have one lifetime of suffering and joy. And you can have meaning and there's beauty to it. And you have the choice to choose joy in your life. And it answered my question, and it was clear to me that I much prefer the Feminine embodiment path and not the Masculine transcendent path. And in this path, you get to be like the precious gem of God... living separately from it and acting as its beloved as it gives you gifts and you receive them. And because of past traumas, I had grown up with a lot of resistance to the Feminine and had held a lot of esoterically patriarchal values. But it showed me that it had made me female for a reason, and affirmed to me that my path is a more Feminine path. And I looked down at my nails (I had gotten fake nails with French tips earlier that week, so they looked more Feminine than usual), and as I looked down at my arms and hands... I recognized myself being cradled by the arms of the goddess. And I was both the goddess and the child of the goddess. But the entire universe was the arms and hands of the goddess... which were also my own arms and hands. Then, after a while, I was just the ordinary human Emerald again and I grieved intensely and was crying. But the whole next day I was very alone. There were only 8 people at the ceremony (there's usually 80 at these ceremonies), and everyone was sequestered away from each other because it was the first week of the pandemic. And I was all by myself and there was this small subtle translucent white contoured sacred geometry shape (like a circle inside a triangle inside a square) that hung around all day in my upper vision. And it felt like the barrier between myself and the infinite was ripped, and all the infinite was coming through this small rip in my consciousness. And I was afraid of getting sick from Covid, so I tried not to connect with others and stay alone. And I kept taking a bunch of showers to try to ground myself. But it was like my consciousness was running away from my body. And all of my trauma wounds had been opened. And everything felt WAY too holy and pure. And it was clear to me why there are folktales about demons not being able to exist on hallowed ground. Experiencing too much purity and holiness is like an intense heat that starts to melt away all barriers. And because of this feeling of dissolution, I finally caved and decided to go connect with other people at the retreat because I felt like I was going to go crazy if I didn't. And I did feel quite a bit more grounded once I did. But the BEST feeling, when my husband picked me up from the retreat on the final day, was that we got out to the highway. And there was the mercy of honking horns, traffic Jams, and my husband's road rage. And I was immersed back into the world of profanity and imperfection. And it was such a relief from the intensity of the holiness and purity. But when I was at the Ayahuasca church, for the couple days after my ceremony it was like the whole place felt like it was existing on some holier plane that I couldn't exist comfortably on as it was driving all of my traumas and separations to the surface and breaking them down... and pulling me away from my state of separation from God and drawing me in closer to disintegration and death... like Icarus flying too close to the sun. And once I was back in the world of forms, it was like the moon came out again and gave me some mercy from the sun. And connecting with other people is a great way to get you back grounded into the world of form.

I'm not so sure about that assumption. Having gone to 5 different medicine ceremonies, there are plenty of women seeking ego death and ego transcendence experiences for their own sake. But most men and women seek these experiences to heal deeper traumas. I definitely sought the medicine first out of pure curiosity (back 15 years ago) and in recent years mostly in order to heal underlying individual, generational, and collective worldly traumas and to connect with God. And each time I've ever done a psychedelic, I realize myself as God. That's true with all 7 Aya journeys I've taken, and my mushroom journey. Though, all of these God realizations are there just to enrich my experience in this lifetime. It shows me that I'm the other side of its face and the value of the Feminine worldliness from its perspective, so that I can embrace the value of the world of the forms in a world whose religious practices of the past 5000 years have been very patriarchal and in opposition to the material (maternal) world. And there's a lot of immersion into a goddess-like state where I recognize myself as Mother Nature itself, and there is this sense that my relationship with my body and humanity's relationship with Earth are one and the same. And it shows me how my individual neuroses both reflect and cause world-wide issues. And in my embodiment as the great mother, I have done work on giving birthing a new Earth in my journeys. But I wouldn't feel comfortable or safe doing a psychedelic alone as I need someone and something to anchor back into to bring myself back to my limited Earthly ordinary perspective. So, I wouldn't do something like that by myself as that would be overwhelming. But a huge theme within these journeys is recognizing and integrating Yin values like worldliness, limitation, suffering, illusion, and death.

I haven't done many psychedelics as I don't much like to be in altered states of consciousness. Ayahuasca is really the only medicine that I've developed a relationship with, which I've been doing once per year for the past 5 years. I did try psilocyben once and got a lot out of it, but preferred the Ayahuasca.

That seems to be true, in my experience.

What freedoms would you hope to take away from religious individuals?