Emerald

Thank you!

Is this directed to me? If it was... yes! I'd still be absolutely batty about him!

So, you don't even have kids? And yet you're making up stories in your imagination about trans people's existence being a danger to your imaginary kids? And you're also playing through a movie in your mind of dying to protect your imaginary kids from trans people? Isn't that silly? As someone who ACTUALLY has kids, the only thing that the widespread acceptance of trans people (and the questioning of the absoluteness of gender identity) has done is to make them far more kind and conscious than I was as a child to those in the LGBTQ community... and far less boxed into notions of how they should and shouldn't be based off of rigid gender roles.

How would that put the US at an advantage to measure GDP in dollars? You could convert that into Pounds, Yen, Yuan, or any other currency... and you'd still get the same proportional differential. Less doesn't suddenly become more when you convert it into a different currency.

Not true....

What do your kids have to do with anything?

The real answer to this question is... 'Who cares? It doesn't impact your life personally. Let people live their lives in a way that feels good to them if it isn't hurting anyone.' Otherwise, we can get into the distinctions between sex and gender... and how those things interact with and inform social constructs. Really, in terms of the words man and woman... it's more of a socially constructed signifier that gets projected onto the genetic/phenotype of billions of human beings. But ultimately... stop trying to ask "gotcha" questions to invalidate someone's identity and personal sovereignty.

Is your fear that you personally would be influenced or forced to engage in homosexual behavior if the LGBTQ community is fully accepted? What is it about LGBTQ people that you PERSONALLY find dangerous? How do you believe it would impact you?

And being normal... and not weird is also values. That's why the weird attacks work.

That's just Devil in Spanish. If Devil is cool... Diablo is even cooler. It makes Trump sound like a legendary dessert wanderer in an old Western movie set in El Paso in the 1800s. The last thing we need Trump associated with is a challenging hot sauce you that your friends dare you to try... and bet you $20 that you'll chicken out and not follow through. It all emphasizes strength. But rhetorically... it's far more effective to emphasize weakness.

It should be pretty obvious at this point that most people DO NOT vote on values when voting for a candidate. Look at polling on an issue per issue basis... and support for abortion access, single-payer healthcare, universal background checks, and other progressive policy positions poll in the 60-75% range in the American populace. If people voted on values as reflected in policy, only 25%-40% of people would ever vote Republican because their policy positions only appeal to the minority and are fringe (or dare I say... weird) in the eyes of most Americans. The fact of the matter is that MOST people are low-information voters and vote along partisan lines and on vibes. They vote like they root for sports teams... or how they watch shows like "The Bachelor". If you don't believe me, go ask your average Trump supporter which policies that they liked of his. Probably 60% of them couldn't tell you a single policy. They really just like the tough guy act and how he "triggers the libs." And that a bunch of egg-headed, educated fool, indoctrinated libs like you and I are going around screaming about how dangerous he is... they take as something they like about him. It's like ambrosia salad to them! Ultimately, normies and low information voters tend to vote in ways that reinforce their desired identity. And LOTS of Trump supporters like the image of the dangerous rebellious renegade fighting fire with fire to trigger the libs and take the world back from the "cabal of pedophillic deep state elite" because they want that associated with their identity. But neither traditionalist conservatives NOR rebellious libertarian-type conservatives to be associated with weirdness. Traditionalist conservatives tend to be very attached identity-wise to normalcy. And rebellious libertarian-type conservatives tends to be attached identity-wise to cool devil's advocacy and contrarianism... which is only cool if it's done by someone who's rebellious in a normal-protagonistish way. So, if a candidate gets branded as weird and the label lands with normies and low-information voters (which it very much is) this essentially brand jams them in the eyes of some members of their base which can chip several percentage points off of their vote share.

First off, you wouldn't be voted for if you ran as a Democrat because your social values are extremely far right. Now, it is possible to run as a conservative. There are non-white Republicans that get elected. But I'll give it to you straight that there would be a lot of major obstacles and there probably would be a cap to how high you could climb in the Republican Party based on your demographic factors alone. But if you wanted to run as a conservative, one thing to understand about people who would tend to share your very strong anti-lgbt values to the point where they would vote on a candidate who MOSTLY promised that (which is probably about half of conservatives), is that most of them are very traditional and focused towards there being a right way and a wrong way to be. And that's why they have the strong anti-lgbt values in the first place. So, in their eyes there's a right race/nationality/ethnicity... there's a right gender... there's a right sexuality... there's a right religion... there's a right way to structure a family... and there's a right way to live your life. And in the eyes of many in that traditionalist constituency, anything that colors outside of the lines of those factors will be seen as either inferior (and therefore unfit for leadership) or an immoral aberration that needs to be outlawed or eliminated. And many with your anti-lgbt values would likely look at being anything other than pure white as inferior... and look at miscegenation with the same level of ire that you have for gay and trans people. They would unfortunately see you being mixed race as an indicator of degeneracy... and interracial couples as something they would outlaw if they were in a position to do so in the same way that you would overturn gay marriage if given the opportunity. So, it would be a tough path ahead if you wanted to run for office as a conservative because about half of the base (the half that would be most in alignment with your anti-gay values) would be turned off by your demographic factors and even outright hostile to them for the SAME EXACT reason that you have anti-gay values.... because they wouldn't want what they would see as an aberration to be normalized.

Nope! That makes him sound way cooler than he is.

The weird attacks are actually rhetorically brilliant... but only when followed up by how Trump, Vance, and other MAGA Republicans (in reference to Project 2025) tend to be busy-bodies who are obsessed with stuff that most normal people don't want and don't care about... like banning books, banning in vitro fertilization, tracking women's menstrual cycles, banning abortion without exceptions, banning birth control, banning porn, and other extremely authoritarian unpopular positions... many of which have to do with controlling women's bodies. Not to mention the fixation on trans people. Most normal people who don't get their politics from 4Chan, aren't fixated on all this sexual grievance politics stuff. And this is reflected in polling and in direct ballot initiatives as even red states vote overwhelmingly pro-choice. These fringe positions that MAGA focuses on aren't kitchen table issues. So, most people don't care that much about them... even if they do lean to the right. Many Trump supporters even have zero clue about his policies and just like the "tough guy" Trump image. And rhetorically... you'll also want to consider that people don't mind being associated with a dangerous candidate... as this adds to the "tough guy" appeal that Trump wants to give off. And the base LOVES when people characterize Trump as dangerous... because they like the image of him as a renegade who's upsetting the system. And even though you and I know that's silly. It's how a lot of low information voters and politically disengaged people can think... and what they can get drawn into. And those are the voting blocks that especially matter right now. And the weird attacks are doing something in the eyes of the normies, that's similar to the dynamic where conservatives started portraying anyone left of center as a weirdo ugly raving lunatic with blue hair.... screaming strangely at someone in the middle of the street. And this weirdo image has chased lots of people away from the left... simply because they don't want to be associated with weirdness and extremes. Even center lefties might fall into disavowing more leftward positions because they want to avoid being seen in that weird light. And that's what a great offensive political characterization that emphasizes weakness and patheticness INSTEAD of danger and corruption does. And most of all, normies don't want to be associated with weirdness. Normies want to be normal. And conservative-leaning normies ESPECIALLY want to be normal. If the weird characterizations stick, and they seem to be, then this could take some decent sized chips out of Trump's normie vote. Honestly, consider how a lot of people think... If he's dangerous, he's one of the cool rebellious kids. But if he's weird, he's just a lame kid and probably smells bad... and people won't want to get that smell on them.

My experience has been that having a relationship is helpful because it provides connection needs, which gives me energy and meaning and support. And I find that my productivity suffers if I feel like I'm disconnected. Mind you, my experiences have been with relationship partners that I've co-habitated with. So, it's not like I have to go out of my way to see them. It's more like the relationship partner just becomes the soil.

I didn't say a single thing about what women are attracted to or not. But thank you for volunteering that information. The other guy said you were cringe for saying that you're hot women's catnip. You told him "You're just jealous." And then I said... nope... that's definitely factually cringe.

Definitely not. Sex and the City can give you a sense of what kind of tv shows a lot of women tend to like to watch. But generally, female characters in movies and shows are typically written by men because it is a male-dominated industry. And they also tend to be very underwritten... though I can't speak to the dimensionality of the characters in Sex an the City because I haven't more than one or two episodes. But what you're seeing is a fantasy that's meant to appeal to women but that's usually crafted by male writers. So, it won't depict much in the way of accurate female behavior. It's similar to how you can't watch a James Bond film and understand very much about male psychology from the actual behavior that James Bond displays and the choices that he makes. It's a fantasy fulfillment character. And to a somewhat lesser extent, so are the women from Sex in the City. If you want a movie that's really good for understanding female psychology and experiences, the most relatable that I've found is the Disney movie "Turning Red" which is about the female adolescent experience. I watched it and I was like "hmmm... that is SOOO on the money." And that's because it was created by a woman who build the story around her actual experiences as an adolescent... with some extra magic flourishes added.

Let's just be really real here... The phrase "Hot women are cats, and I am catnip" is definitionally cringe. There's just no other way to slice it.

Nice!

What I have experienced is that the life-purpose is more innate. In one of my Ayahuasca experiences, it showed me that my life's purpose was "mercy". And it showed me how mercy had been a CONSTANT driving force in my life all the way throughout even back to my earliest memories. Think of this as like a North Star where it is a constant guiding light... or like the natural flow of the current of the truest deepest will. But it is deliberately left very open-ended so that you can choose any scale or form to express it in. I could scale it down and just give myself mercy. Or I can scale it up and find ways to give mercy to the whole world. And I can choose many different jobs and careers that intertwine with mercy. Or I can choose to not incorporate this life's purpose into my work if that were my choice. So, there is also a high degree of choice within it. But if you want to find the life's purpose, look for your most honest and most persistent motivation that shows up in your life CONSTANTLY. It is subtle but pervasive... and you can spot it if you know how to look for it.

It's connected to Trump because, if he gets into office, he would most certainly take as much liberty as the law gives him to fire any dissenting voices and appoint Trump loyalists. Really it would allow any politician to do that. But he already has a strong proclivity for that type of behavior. But you are correct that Project 2025 is more the work of right wing think tanks. But if Trump or any Republican gets elected, it gives these think tanks a lot of leverage to implement this plan because these think tanks are the ones that fund their campaigns.

With the rise of social media and the internet, a dynamic that has likely been bubbling underneath the surface of humanity for millennia has finally coalesced, come to a head, and been laid bare for the world to see. And the pattern that has coalesced can be seen in communities like Red Pill, Incels, MGTOW, and the Manosphere in general. You can also see it in men who aren't directly involved with these online communities but that tend to have a lot of bitterness and mistrust towards women. And you can see these same patterns arise in pickup/male dating communities a lot as well. But what most people aren't yet aware of is what the actual root of these movements/groups is. People who are involved with and/or sympathize with these groups see these communities as a place for male empowerment. Many view women as having too much power, and see these movements as a way to put women back in their place. People who are against these movements notice the misogyny and problems within these groups and tend to demonize them. But both the supporters and detractors of these groups tend to only view them on the level of the symptoms but aren't aware of the actual root of the problem. The actual root of the problem is that many men are pressured and/or perceive a pressure to match up to an impossible Masculine ideal. And this produces feelings of shame because no man can actually fully embody that ideal. And this produces an intense anxiety in men at any part of them that deviates from the Masculine and is seen as Feminine. So because having Feminine qualities (or just non-Masculine qualities) becomes a deep-seated anxiety, this causes many men to push their sensitivity, vulnerability, and Feminine side in general into the Shadow. And there is an intense feeling of shame associated with any hint of emasculation.... which can include but is not limited to being rejected by women. Then, because women are viewed as a reflection of their repressed Feminine side... there is an attraction/repulsion dynamic in men. This causes them to obsess about women and put women at the center of their life and to see women as the arbiter of how Masculine they are. She is seen as the one that can validate or invalidate him. But it also creates this repulsion too and a deep mistrust because he has pushed away his Feminine side and has lots of negative feelings towards his inner Feminine. And she sees her as a cold conniver that is deliberately denying him of his sense of worthiness. Most men are impacted with this shame about not matching up to the Masculine ideal to some degree or another. But the men who are the most resistant towards their Feminine side and who are the most pre-occupied with matching up to the Masculine ideal will tend to have the most intense shame and get sucked into Manosphere dynamics on the internet. And instead of men coming together to work through the shame problem as a group, the focus tends to be on things that will trigger, agitate, and sooth the shame wounds through collective sexual obsession over women coupled with misogynistic grousing about women. And it's like collectively using the image of women as a scapegoat in order to tongue the wounds of shame over and over.... then soothe them over and over. So, it becomes an addictive cycle that feels cathartic but that doesn't actually address the deeper shame wound. It's a bit like the scene in Midsommar where all the women in the village are coming together to scream and cry together and share in eachother's pain. But because people are not yet aware of this underlying male shame pattern around repression of their Feminine side, it is only looked at on the surface level. And people haven't realized that to cure the sickness we have to treat the germ and not the fever. And the germ is shame. Also, an important note is that a lot of guys who think they have problems meeting/dating/approaching women actually have problems with shame, and if the shame was resolved those issues with making connections with women would go away.

I used to have a lot of these fears when I was in my 20s. And it's hell to think about it this way because it genuinely can feel like you're going to age out of lovability. And it creates this pressure to get all the love you can while you're still in your youthful years. And my identity was so wrapped up in this, that it was difficult to untangle. I started worrying about aging when I was 16 years old... and the fears peaked in my late 20s. Now I'm 35, and my perspective has shifted so much that I'm genuinely out of the woods with it... which I never thought I would be. I feel above it in most ways. It's like being able to see that the emperor has no clothes in a way. I had similar feelings of anxiety as a kid. When I was like 8-10 years old, I used to worry that I wouldn't grow out of childish things like playing with toys. But once I got to be a tween/teenager, I wasn't even interested in toys anymore. There are a few things that helped shift my paradigm most of all. The first thing was to realize that I was projecting my dynamic with my mom onto men as a whole group. And one of my traumas was aging out of my connection with my mom... as we were very close until I was 8 and then the relationship became strained. And so, I transferred a lot of feelings about my mom onto boys and eventually onto men where I was trying to get the love where it felt impossible to get the love and that any love and admiration that I got from men would be lost with age. The second thing was to see the vulnerability in men as they age. Young men are often not as conscious of this as young women are. But men want to love and be loved too. And they are really capable of loving a woman, even if you seem to see evidence online that they're not on all these alpha male podcasts. And that love extends far beyond looks... even if they are consciously fixated upon more lustful things and looks. Eventually, (usually by the mid-30s to early 40s at the latest) men start wanting to settle down and create families. But they have to first get past the fantasies of being the playboy first, if they have those. Otherwise, they will feel they're missing out. And men who end up leaving their wife in search of a very young woman are often trying to live out a fantasy that they feel will make their life somehow more fulfilling... usually to find that it doesn't scratch the itch. The third thing was to find secure connections and be able to define my identity outside of being desirable to the male gaze. Honestly, the male gaze is not very meaningful if you know what really drives men to focus on women so much. So, a lot of the attention and adoration that women get from men comes from insecurity and wanting to be the masculine guy with the hot young women who are interested in him. So, it doesn't come from a very deep place when a man looks for a hot young woman. But men are capable of loving very deeply if they can get past this phase. Shame will tend to hang them up in this phase though... looking for the archetypal woman to validate him. But most of all, getting to know mature men as friends is helpful in dispelling feelings like men aren't capable of loving and being attracted to a woman beyond youthful appearance.

I have a framework for Shadow Work that has similarities to IFS work, though I'm not super familiar with all the ins and outs of IFS.

Women's collective wound is powerlessness.