Emerald

Many resources say that drinking a couple cups of decaffeinated coffee daily can have positive effects on your health. So, the coffee itself isn't the problem. It is the caffeine, which can cause dehydration, heart palpitations, and irregular sleep patterns. My recommendation is to enjoy decaffeinated coffee in moderation.

Definitely allow them. Your mind is a self-correcting mechanism that is trying constantly to bring you to enlightenment. It is only ever you that gets in the way. Allow these images to be and just watch them with complete awareness. There is nothing wrong during meditation. Just be mindful of whatever is.

That's wonderful. You may have mentioned to me before, but how long have you been meditating for and how long during the day? Also, how long can you sit for and have you done any retreats?

I don't really know what my preference is anymore. It's all clouded. Sometimes I wish I could just forget everything I've ever experienced or learned about enlightenment. Life used to have a lot more direction and paths were clear. But now the water is very murky.

It is boring from ego-consciousness because it does nothing for the continuation of the ego. The ego wants to go out with a bang, so it can be remembered. It abhors death, so it devises many tactics to keep itself alive in the minds of others through uniqueness and speciality. The ego can never accept death unceremoniously and always wants to set itself apart from the rest and be exceptional. Equalization in death is terrifying to the ego. Being forgotton can't be accepted.

These are more about lies that we tell ourselves, that inevitably make us lie to others. Deep down, we know that they aren't true but we trick ourselves into believing them anyway. This is why they are lies because deep down, we know full well that these things aren't true. So, relative to this, we always tell untruths to others because our capacity for being truthful with ourselves is low. So, I see no issue with telling white lies because we're constantly telling lies anyway whether we want to or not, until we can be conscious enough of how we lie to ourselves.

Well, it's admirable. If I recall, you're a teenager, and if you're not old enough to have a job this could be a good way to start a habit of philanthropy.

When you reach enlightenment, you won't care what music plays during your death nor will you care about what happens to your ashes. These are all ego concerns, even though the may not seem as such. The enlightened person doesn't care for being remembered or defining their personality through particular preferences or fashion statements. They just die unceremoniously and allow themselves with full acceptance to be swallowed completely by the sands of time. Forgotten forever with complete acceptance.

My wish is that, no matter how I die, I want to die enlightened. This is the only way that I will ever be able to accept it. The only time I ever truly accepted my mortality was during my ego-transcendence experiences. It became evident to me during those experiences that there was nothing of substance to truly lose. Otherwise, death is terrifying no matter how instantaneous or peaceful.

Well, I think that this is very normal to want to have deep relationships but also to want the excitement of experiencing new partners sexually. It's two different areas of the brain and two different neurochemicals that contribute to both of these feelings. One is based in the reptilian brain (biological urges and instincts) and the other is based in the pre-frontal cortex (emotions, socialization, reason). Now, even though the wanting to have sex with other people is more pronounced in men because more sexual variety equals more children and more genetic variety and more ways to pass on the genes. Sexual variety for women is biologically normal too but only after a few years when the child is well into toddlerhood. This is because, in nomadic times a woman could not both provide for a baby and care for a baby at the same time because human children are born premature because of our brain growth. So, the father needed to provide for the first few years otherwise the children would not survive and the woman would likely be in bad shape as well because of the intensity of the labor process. So, women have more biological impetus to settle with one partner. But once the three years is up, it benefits our gene pool for the woman to find another strong partner to mate with so that more genetic variety is added to the gene pool. For women, finding the best partner to make the children who are most fit to the environment is the most important. Women can only have so many children because it takes an entire 9 months to make one for them, and there's a lot of work and labor that goes into the process of making and caring for a child. So, the man has to be awesome. Men, on the other hand, can afford a few duds because they can have thousands of children in their lifetime. So, the biological impetus is to mate whenever possible. Both of these behaviors in men and women are what contributes to a biologically healthier species. But because we have a very complex social structure and a complex emotional understanding, we live in a society where men and women have to co-exist and find ways to make these two conflicting drives work in order to create a healthy relationship, a healthy family, and a healthy society. We also all want to be treated fairly because of our ability to reason which comes from the pre-frontal cortex. So, our lower nature (instincts) often conflict with our higher nature (socialization). So, these two things must be reconciled. This is where the paradox comes into play, because (no matter what) there is no way to perfectly reconcile this paradox. The only thing to do is to accept that you will never have things exactly as you want them, because one drive will always cancel out parts of the other. Your best bet for minimizing the issues caused by this paradox is to find an incredibly open minded partner who understands this paradox and doesn't shame you for wanting to have sex with other women. But to expect her to allow you to sleep with other women, while not being okay with her sleeping with other men will undoubtedly get in the way of her pre-frontal cortex's need for fairness. And even if she allowed it, deep down it would cause a barrier to intimacy (which your pre-frontal cortex wants) because of the unfairness aspect. This open-mindedness is hard to find because most people (especially women as I've noticed) buy into the idea of the fairytale romance of only being attracted to the person you're with, love at first sight, etc. These narrative only create more strain and shame around our most natural tendencies. So, unfortunately, it is what it is. You just have to make room for this paradox and find a balance between relationship stability and satiating your baser desires. But we're all in the same boat. I have the same struggles and I'm a woman. My husband and I talk about this struggle too, although I enjoy listening to his fantasies more than he enjoys listening to mine. I'm a bit more open-minded in this way because human sexuality is fascinating to me. I love watching the conflict and tension at work. I also know that his desires for sexual variety doesn't mean that he doesn't love me or want to stay with me. But, you can also change your relationship to your desires, so that they don't run you. I think that you seem to be very self-honest about this dilemma where few people are able to be. So, continue with self-honesty but make it more radical still. All suffering comes from illusion. So, you may not be able to change the way that you're wired on the physical level. Biology is biology. But you can transcend the ego so that you're not buying into "I can only be fulfilled by having things the way that I want them" stories.

Yeah. Only it's even more silly.

Wanting enlightenment is no different than wanting millions of dollars or wanting candy.

Well, it's really a personal decision as to whether or not lies are acceptable or unacceptable. I would accept them if they cause no direct harm to self or other. The main problem with lying is that we often can't identify our own lies. For example, I could have an experience where I've done something nice for someone then tell myself "I'm such a nice person." This is a lie because it is a false label. Then if I go on believing the lie "I'm a nice person." Other small lies can become attached to it such as "Nice people are better than people who aren't nice." or "I'm nicer than John." or "I'm nicer than John so I'm better than John... oh wait... that thought wasn't very nice... I would never think anything like that." "But I'm definitely more admirable than people like John." "Nice people don't hurt other people... but eating animals is still okay because it's different. They would be killed anyway." "Nice people usually listen to Raggae... that type of music is more chill, so people who listen to Raggae are super nice. It's just a better type of music to listen to." "People who are nice are always chill and relaxed. So, type A, preppy people aren't very nice." "Nice people like me are better than those preps." Then finally, "I wish that everyone in the world would be as nice as me... then we wouldn't have all the problems that we have. I wish people who aren't nice just wouldn't exist oe change." Pretty soon you'll have a snowball effect that grows to distort your view of reality.

My advice is to trust the pain in your life and don't resist it. Adopt the view that 'everything is perfect exactly the way it is' because it is a manifestation of the existential self (aka god, source, allah, etc.). There are no mistakes. So, consider that you are not the self that you've identified with but that you are the creator, contents, and container for everything in your field of awareness. So, everything in your life comes purposefully from the "higher self". The higher self is who you actually are once you realize that the "I" is an illusion. It is the emptiness from which everything in reality is born. Existentially, that is what enlightened people live as. They live as the higher self which creates reality perfectly. So, just be aware of how your family projects things onto you without making it bad or wrong. Remember, that at the deepest level, you are the creator of the reality that you're living in a very literal way. And it's manifested perfectly to help the expansion of the higher self. So, even if it feels wrong or bad to you, it is still exactly as it should be. But once you accept your reality and hold it in your awareness without invalidating it, life usually starts to change. But on the more practical level, consider also that you could make changes in order to make life more livable. You can talk to your family members and ask that they not do this by respectfully bringing up your feelings. You could leave the situation, although I don't necessarily recommend it because kids are involved. But at the end of the day, this is all you can do. You don't have direct control over what others do. Just try to accept it and understand that 1. Reality is always perfect even if it isn't preferable. 2. Your thoughts and meanings you ascribe to the situation are what causes your suffering. 3. People are often unconscious and that's okay too. 4. You have the power to make changes even if it makes waves.

My advice to you (given that you're in high school as another commentor said... correct me if I'm wrong, of course) is to make a master plan with particular milestones that you need to hit. But make this plan very flexible so that you can tailor it to reality. Also, be careful with too much negative motivation. Don't fall into the trap of taking things too seriously, not being well rounded, forgetting to smell the roses, or thinking that your success in your career makes you more important or better than anyone else in the ultimate self. Don't also fall into the trap of thinking that you can add value to yourself in any existential way. Also, it's important to keep in mind that the professional world often has a lot of logistical circumstances and complications that are unforeseeable in the planning stages. So, always keep your ear to the ground and don't let your ideals and expectations drown out your awareness of what is real in the industry or profession. Always be willing to adapt to fit your circumstances, instead of sticking to your ideals. But in order to be successful, I always found this affirmation helpful for keeping myself working when I would lose inspiration or get tired: "Successful people do things well, especially when they don't want to." Otherwise, good luck and give it hell!

Steal it all you want. Just don't become nefarious and start tying dames to the railroad tracks!

Well, I don't think Leo is doing anything nefarious in running this business... but it is certainly a manipulation. A business (and most other human actions) consist of a high degree of manipulation. Every thing we do is either directly or indirectly related to getting what we need or want. You can even watch it in your daily comings and goings. It's pretty much inevitable, even if we're not conscious of it. This is just the nature of being a sentient being. Heck... even flowers turn their heads to face the sun. hehehe. But it isn't Leo who decides whether or not an individual becomes subject to manipulation... it is the individual. If a person feels as though the product that a business is offering will contribute directly or indirectly to getting what they want or need... they will buy in. If they don't, then they won't. But on the individual level, it is important to realize that Leo doesn't hold all the answers and that all he's offering is a perspective. So, if what he says helps you, take it. If what he says doesn't help you, leave it. No one can manipulate you if you don't let them.

I'd be careful not to use Leo's newest video advice not to backslide. If you feel like you've been making sufficient progress, continue onward without sabotaging your progress. But if your willpower doesn't work, allow yourself to become aware as you backslide.

I was laying in bed last night at around midnight and I had an interesting experience. I often bring my awareness to the sensations in my body as I go to sleep. So, because I recently switched to a Vegan diet, I was bringing the focus to the areas of my spine where the chakras are said to be located. Many say that going Vegan raises your vibration, so I was scanning the chakras regions to see if I noticed any changes from the norm. I have also been having some strange emotions relative to the change in diet/lifestyle which have been very uncomfortable, and I wondered if it had energetic origins. I noticed that my solar plexus area was pulsating and the pulsating sensation seemed to be rippling outward. I found this interesting because the solar plexus chakra is said to correspond to identity and sense of self, when I decided yesterday that instead of trying to diminish my ego, I am going to create my ego as a masterpiece as I did prior to my enlightenment experiences. Only this time I would create the ego with full knowledge of its illusory nature. So, I watched the sensation for a couple minutes, and here's where it gets a bit fuzzy. But it was very clear to me when I was going through the process despite the fact that it's very fuzzy to me now. I began asking myself internally over and over "What's experiencing this?" As I asked this question, my vision changed a bit. It was dark in the room so things were already fuzzy. But my depth of field easily flattened. Many of the darkest areas of my room began to shine a little bit with almost like a white noise look but not quite. It was a more subtle effect than what I wrote implies. It was more of a visual disturbance than a hallucination. Then, there was a strong surge-like sensation through my entire back and for a moment I was in sleep paralysis where I was paralyzed and hearing a strong vibration in my ears. I get sleep paralysis all the time, so I recognized this. But then I pulled through to another vibrational state where I was feeling a more subtle vibration in my arms and hands but I was no longer paralyzed. This was when I got really fuzzy about what had happened just before. I could barely remember despite having just done it in a full state of awareness to what I was doing. I felt fear and a little frustration at the fact that I couldn't remember. I continued to ask myself "What is experiencing this?" My depth of field was still flat and the visual disturbance was still going on. As I asked, I felt a little fuzzy about who I was. And then I felt a sense of stillness and timelessness. It was as though my flattened visual field was just floating there in stillness. Fear was still slightly in the background. Some thoughts still came and went, but few and far between. I still slightly remembered who I was and where I was. But I kept asking "What is experiencing this?" I was a lot more open to this inquiry because I was already tired. So, I was in a deep meditative state experiencing this stillness for a couple minutes. Then the fear got louder and thoughts got more frequent. I began to wonder if it was enlightenment. Then I found my thoughts urging to "kill the ego". My husband then came into the room and I began telling him about the experience. He's not very receptive to my interest in spirituality, so he just rolled his eyes and said that he's going to bed. Then I was mad and got all sulky, and I realized that the ego was still alive and well. Anyone had a similar experience to this? If so, I'd love your take on if this relates to enlightenment or is some other state of consciousness. Thank you!

They probably would. But I'm looking for a chat with someone who's had a similar experience for emotional reasons rather than to ask advice or something like that. It's nice to converse with someone who can relate.

Oh yeah. Definitely. But I wouldn't say that I'm particularly interested in chakras or anything super spiritual. I have sort of a resistance to it for fear of seeming non-credible so I don't like to be associated with anything too new agey. But I try to operate from the idea "There is no way to enlightenment" and I also try to stay in a state of not believing but not not believing, if that makes sense. So, from that standpoint, couldn't it be true that there may be an energetic component to the realization of enlightenment? If so, applying awareness to the sensations of the body (chakras or not) could potentiallyhave some kind of effect.

Asking myself this over and over actually allowed me to focus and drown out the logical answer to the question and to hone more in on my awareness separate from thoughts. I may not have given the impression of this from my post, but this was what I believed enabled me to be the stillness because I wasn't consulting my thoughts for the answer, I was really observing in a state of receptivity using the question as prompt to observe without losing awareness of what I was looking for. The question was like a magnifying glass through which I was focusing my awareness to make the focus more penetrating. To go in a little more detail, when the visual field was flattened I still saw my nose, part of my cheek, and my body. So, those parts of me were just part of a 2-d screen. I've known this for a while. But in asking what's perceiving, it separated my awareness from this 2-d screen, and so I truly didn't identify with the image of the body or anything within the visual field. The same was true of my sensations and my thoughts even though this was less pronounced. These were floating in the stillness too. There was a time of compete quiet and timelessness too. But this was only a brief part of the experience. I suspect that the stillness aspect is what is referred to as "being" and "emptiness". So, I believe that this was a firsthand experience of this. Although I didn't get the overwhelming experience of unconditional love, oneness, and feeling of heaven that I got during my two enlightenment experiences. But I believe the other aspects of the experience relate more to physiological brain wave states that relate more to sleep and also changes in energetic resonance due to lifestyle changes.

Ask yourself what this means about your experience of sensations. Do your sensations of your body relate to your visual experience of your body?

You're welcome

I would think similar in the sense that you go from identifying with the self in the mirror that you imagine does all of your experiences, to being the awareness that both contains and imbues all things within the field of awareness. It is being able to hold both of those perspective without knowing which one is "correct" in the same way as in the image. The faces and chalice are both valid interpretations. But I would say that it's different in this way too. Because the existential 'being the awareness' realization is more true than the 'identifying with the small self' paradigm. So, it would be more of a perfect analogy if, within the image, there was a more true interpretation. For example, instead of seeing 'faces' or 'chalice' , you literally see it for what it is, two black shapes and a white shape on a flat surface.