Emerald

Worth is an illusion. So, the illusion can not be "worth" anything. But "worth" itself isn't worth anything. But it's all exactly as it should be. It needs no fixing. It needs no worth.

Pros: Nice framing (rule of thirds used) Well organized and thorough Appropriate Background Good and in-demand idea for channel Your content will never run out, so your channel could go on as long as you want it to Suggestions: A little mechanical on delivery. It's a bit difficult to listen to because it feels like you're reading it. I would work toward being more conversational and off-the-cuff. Could use somewhat better lighting You may work on branding a bit more to set yourself aside from the rest. There should be something that you're offering that no one else is: personality-wise, channel branding-wise, or content-wise. Overall, I think you can be very successful with this idea if you play your cards right!

That's interesting. Did you ever speak to one of them?

You can delete your content piecemeal by choosing the "edit" option, then erasing the content. The comment and user will still show but it will show as a blank. You have 18 posts, so they should be easy to find and delete. Just search under the tab I believe is labeled "My content." You can also enter your user name in the search box... or you can just change your user name to something anonymous. That could be a quicker solution.

I would say, in general, 99% of the time, no. I've known many heavy users and they are usually not very conscious people. But I would imagine that someone who has experienced an altered state of consciousness at least once has maybe a slight edge over someone who has only ever been sober. Because the question can arise, 'is my un-sober perception distorting the reality that is there? Or am I seeing a different reality entirely that's just as valid and correct, but unfamiliar making me unskilled at it? Or are both perceptions of reality distorted by my mental state: sober and under the influence?'

No worries. No judgement here... at least none that I take very seriously. I'm a fence sitter about paranormal phenomenon as I've had a lot of seemingly paranormal-like experiences due to having out of body experiences since I was 13 as well as several strange happenings when I was very small. I was really just curious.

Why do you believe paranormal phenomenon is real, if you don't mind my asking?

Wait a whole month. That's what I heard anyway.

Unfortunately and fortunately, it's not a delusional comment. It's completely rooted in truth. The nature of the truth is that it can justify anything that exists, because that which exists is the truth. Not our beliefs about things or our preferences for how we'd like for things to go. So, you can use the truth to justify factory farming, murder, rape, pedophilia, sexism, racism, exploitations of all kinds, and much more. If you look deep enough into things, you'll see that everything is perfect: good, bad, and ugly. It's liberating and actually increases compassion to experience this recognition firsthand. That said, on the practical/subjective/theoretical level, using the truth logically to justify deeds that create suffering is an ego defense mechanism disguised in truth's clothing. Many a slave owner probably reasoned that what they were doing was a necessary evil or perhaps even good. Hitler probably felt totally justified doing all the things he did. No one feels like they're the bad guy. So, I would say that Leo's comment is an accurate representation of the truth on the logical level... but emotionally it skirts the issue. My view is that, if I'm disturbed by it, I probably shouldn't be contributing toward it. We should consult our emotions and not logical understandings to make the decisions about what we should and should not contribute to. If everyone did this, factory farming would suffer greatly as an industry. If people as a whole group really had the gumption to live in tandem with their feelings about what happens when they see it in a video and become truly aware of the suffering, the industry would be cut down to a 1/2 of its size.

Hello all! I've decided to start this journal to keep myself motivated. I'm highly influenced by having an audience, and despite my progress over the past year since watching Leo's videos and consuming other personal development resources, I still have some trouble when the rubber meets the road. It is my goal to transform my life and to reach enlightenment... to be happy and fulfilled in the most optimum way. I will start today with a quick introduction to myself and an outline of my goals. My name is Emerald Wilkins, and I'm 26 years old. I'm married, and I have two children: a daughter who is a couple months shy of age five and a son who turns one next week. I have been interested in personal development since I was about 14 years old, and got really serious about it at age 16 when I began devoting most of my time to it. At age 18, I went to college to study Fine Art and Art Education. I graduated in 2012. Up until 9 months ago, I had been working as a high school graphic design teacher. My supervisors let me know at 8.5 months pregnant that they wouldn't be renewing my contract the next year, given the reason that I wasn't a "good fit." I was let go at the end of last school year after I came back from maternity leave. A teacher in their first three years in the state of Florida can legally be let go for any reason and no reason. So, now that I've been fired from my first teaching job, my chances of finding a job as an art teacher, are slim to none because no hiring administrator is going to take a chance on hiring me. I was devastated after ten years of hard work and really pulling myself up by my bootstraps with only myself to support me emotionally, financially, and otherwise. Becoming a teacher was a goal that I've held seriously since I was 15, and even when I was in elementary school I wanted to do it. So, I'm trying hard to pick the pieces of my life up. I want to make my life, even better than it was before. Practical Goals: -I'm currently a stay at home mother and homemaker, which I want to become great at. My episodes of depression and anxiety that I've been experiencing due to my career situation has been getting in the way of my functioning in this way. I truly consider myself a mediocre mom, and that's crap. So, I want to get better at that. -I started a Youtube channel and blog, about 4 months ago. I know that teaching is part of my life purpose, but maybe I interpreted it wrong in thinking I was supposed to teach high school. I want to share insights with people that have helped me understand things about myself and the world, in order to help them live a better life. My goal is to stick to my schedule, create high quality content (craftsmanship included), and grow my subscriber base. I also eventually intend to become an author. Spiritual Goals: -I had two ego-transcendence experiences when I was 20, where I was truly myself again for a short while. My goal is to reach enlightenment through strong determination sitting meditation, contemplation, self-inquiry, and spiritual autolysis

I really enjoyed the conversation with Rali. There will probably be more to come. I have been confused about enlightenment recently which is somewhat good because it opens me up a bit more. Given that I've had a couple of very strong awakening experiences, I often get attached to them and I trick myself into believing that I know more about enlightenment than I do. This conversation really helped me better sort out the differences between an awakening experience and enlightenment. And it also helped me suspend some of my expectations relative to enlightenment.

Thank you!

It's good that you're becoming aware of these traps. You especially don't want to get hemmed into getting too hooked on one teacher's perspective. It's most natural to go in and out of resonance with spiritual teachers on this path. Getting hooked on one limits your ability to progress. I think realizing what motivates you toward enlightenment is important too. At the root of everything, everyone is seeking happiness and fulfillment. But despite the fact that enlightenment entails complete happiness and fulfillment, there are often unconscious middleman mindsets that hi-jack our intentions. That's why knowing your true intentions is key. Some people seek enlightenment because they want to feel special or wise. Some others seek it because they want something new to happen. Some others seek it because they hate their life and want to end their suffering. Others still seek it because of curiosity. Many are not aware of these underlying reasons. But none of these intentions are very "pure" and are rooted in ego. They are coming from a desire for things to be other than they are. So, I recommend chucking out the IDEA of enlightenment and simply seeking to perceive what is true beyond all assumptions and beliefs.

My thought is that, if I can't watch the killing process happening, then I probably shouldn't be eating meat... or dairy since the diary industry causes just as much death and suffering. I try not to judge things as good/bad or right/wrong as I know that all is one. And that one thing can't really be harmed. However, on the more practical level, I know that I wouldn't want it done to me and I can't even watch it without being disturbed about it for days. So, I choose not to eat meat and I don't eat dairy unless I have no other choice, as my family is struggling financially right now. So, I don't always have the option right now to cut it out as I'm working with just the basic stuff that my family has in the house, which sometimes contains dairy. But as soon as we're back to being financial stable, I'm cutting out dairy again.

I would posit that your experiences of ego-loss correlate to the effects of the drug but are not directly caused by the drug, if that makes sense. So, the not being able to function is probably caused by the drugs and not the ego loss, if that makes sense. I experienced mine as a result of experimenting with Ayahuasca. The high was very mild in many ways, as I had most of my normal faculties. The effect of the drug was mostly seeing images super-imposed on things and at the onset a nice body high. But I was able to function. I don't know if it would have even been super apparent that I was high. But the profoundness didn't come directly from the effects of the drug, it came from the dropping of the personal self. My self-concept just became less important to me, and it was as though I zoomed out from my sense of self. So, all the things I would normally edit out of my internal experience and repress away, came back into my conscious awareness. I could still make decisions and had preferences, but I didn't run them through the filter of the personal self. I still knew how reality worked, and I could still make sound decisions. Less so, because I was high. But none of the impairment came from the dropping of the personal self. It was separate from the drug effects.

Why is that scary to you? I've experienced ego-transcendence before. It's pretty uncommon but not as uncommon as you may think. There are others on this forum have had a glimpse or two before as well. I don't know why I would have to be careful though. These happened years ago.

I'm telling you that you don't from personal experience. I'm not speculating.

I was able to function perfectly fine and even better when I let go of the personal self for that short time. The identity is not needed for proper functioning. People just get used to functioning in a way where everything that happens to them and every thought that they think gets filtered through this idea of the personal self. But it's just an idea, and it distorts things a lot. For example, I have a difficult time standing up for myself in certain situations for fear of seeming a way that I don't want to seem. It causes me a lot of anxiety and takes away from the quality of my life, because my boundaries aren't as firm as would be comfortable for me. However, when the personal self dropped away for that time, I was completely unaffected by this issue. I had such deep love for everything in existence... including myself. In fact, other and self were one thing. It was like an equalizing effect. So, I know that, from that state, I would have no issue enforcing my boundaries. But I recommend trying to get a glimpse of what it is to be beyond ego. You seem to be under the wrong impression about what it is like. It isn't what it seems from the way it is described.

Enlightenment means to have the personal self drop away completely and for good. A glimpse is just a glimpse. If you experience a temporary drop of the personal self but it comes right back, it is of little value to your pursuit of enlightenment beyond having extra motivation and faith, because memory and thoughts cannot understand enlightenment. Even if you have a memory of what it's like, it is not enlightenment and it puts you no closer to it. I think motivation is important to take into account here. Having experienced this shift, I now seek it for the primary reason that it feels so much better to be that way. So, I seek it so that I can be at peace. Despite my experience with it in the past, I don't have that peace now. I'm still attached to the personal self. So, despite experiencing it... I am not enlightened now. There is a qualitative difference, and not just a 'Oh... I saw it and now I know and it's a done deal.' So, even if you have an experience where the personal self drops away, this is not enlightenment. It is a glimpse. Also, a key quality of being enlightened is a complete cease to the seeking process. It just comes about, and it's undeniable. If Leo is still seeking then he is correct in saying that he isn't enlightened. EVERYONE seeks except for the enlightened. If he were grasping at seeking and didn't want his quest to be over, that means he's definitely not enlightened... as this too is a form of grasping and seeking.

That's good to hear.

How is life going for you?

My advice was more on the practical wisdom level and not the higher wisdom level. I'm just saying to be careful putting too much stock in any person. I'm sure that Leo would agree with this statement too.

I respect your beliefs. But I do want to caution you about making Leo or anyone else into a messiah or an answer to some perceived deficiency of reality. If you're seeking enlightenment, you should recognize that your beliefs are beliefs. These will get in the way of your ability to see what is true beyond the frameworks of the mind.

I was agnostic leaning heavily atheist and I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been interested in spirituality, if it hadn't been for my entheogen induced experiences. If it gave me anything, it's that I was able to see far beyond my grasp and understand how reality actually is for a short time. So, it was a very intense and out of nowhere initiation to the spiritual path. I fell down many a rabbit hole and my life suffered for it over the course of the years directly following those experiences, despite the fact that life is better for me now in light of them. But I could have gotten so lost that I couldn't recover from it. So, for those who were already interested in psychedelics and would have done them anyway, I say "sure, why not? If it's that important to you." For those who weren't interested in psychedelics before but now think of them as a path to enlightenment, I say proceed with caution and be very honest with yourself about why you're doing it. Know your limits. That said, I don't recommend using them repeatedly for anyone as this can cause some issues over time. Also, if a person has a genuine awakening from them, they should expect that their entire worldview will be turned on its ear. The ramifications of this can be intense and life-changing, for better and worse.

I had my awakenings as a result of experimentation with entheogens. So, my speculations aren't really based in closed-mindedness. I do recognize them as speculations though. I speculate that they cannot bring about permanent enlightenment because they did not create any permanent expanded awareness for me, even in the slightest. But they did make me believe that I had achieved something, and much chaos ensued in my life because I didn't understand the nature of paradoxes and I started to choke out practical truths for higher truths that I had access to during those experiences. One bit of wisdom that has stuck with me was that it was clear that I didn't need the entheogen to get back to that state. I think entheogens can catalyze a samadhi experience and give a glimpse of non-dual awareness, but that they will not result in a permanent shift. In fact, I found that my resistance and identification simply doubled down, and I became a lot more rigid.