Emerald

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Everything posted by Emerald

  1. Actually, this is a common misconception. I spend about the same amount in groceries as I did before and I'm the only Vegan in my family unit. Only now instead of dairy products, I get dairy substitutes (soy/almond/cashew milk) which are conferable in price. Instead of meat, I get beans/more fruits and vegetables, and occasionally meat substitutes. Otherwise, grains stay the same. My family still eats meat, but if they didn't this would take away quite a bit from the grocery bill. So, there are fancy/trendy Vegan diets that can be quite expensive. But a basic Vegan diet can be done at the same price or potentially cheaper.
  2. I'm Vegan for ethical reasons. I wanted to have an agreement between my values and my behavior. I had considered doing it for health reasons in years prior, and always talked myself out of it on those grounds. I really don't know if Veganism is truly the optimal diet from a health perspective, as there are so many ideas about what human beings are supposed to eat. So I know that I'd always be second guessing my choice, and cheating on it left and right. So, there was never a compelling enough reason for me to refrain when I looked at it from the health perspective. But I have found that I've experienced a generally better feeling in my body since I went Vegan. I definitely feel lighter in my body. Though I can't say for certain that it's because of the Veganism as my sugar intake has lowered significantly since then as well. I was always all about chocolate... and I still am. However, most chocolate contains dairy or eggs in it. So, now I eat significantly less chocolate and sugary stuff in general. This was an unintended perk of my Veganism. I also eat a lot more fruits and vegetables to make up for the loss of certain foods that I no longer eat. On the downside, when I first went Vegan, there was a definite slump of energy in the evening hours. I still sometimes feel this way if I forget to take my vitamins for a few days in a row. But overall, throughout the day I felt lighter and more alert.
  3. I'm Vegan, myself, but as I read through the thread, I feel that your approach to heartening more people toward Veganism is counter-productive. Number one, if you criticize or shame people for their behavior, it is a normal human reaction to clamp down tighter and identify in a stronger way with the behaviors being criticized. Number two, there is no such thing as right or wrong in the absolute sense as reality is empty of meaning until the human mind places meaning upon it. So, no one can say objectively that eating meat/consuming dairy (or literally anything else) is wrong with no room for varying opinions. So, even thought killing animals objectively causes pain for the animal, people can still justify this behavior by creating some exception in their mind. We see human beings do this type of thing all the time during war and other such situations. So, saying that something is objectively ethically wrong is not true because ethics are inherently subjective. So, people really mold their own meanings and they can always remold them to fit their own comfort zones. Number three, I would suspect that the majority of people already have Vegan values. If I had to put a percentage on it, I'd say at least 60% truly believe that animals should be treated compassionately. Most people couldn't be able to watch what goes on in the meat and dairy industry and feel nothing about it... let alone be able to participate in the killing itself. So, it's likely that the people who have Vegan values, yet still continue to consume meat and dairy, do so because they realized as a child that refraining would not stop the situation from happening. This is painful and was part of my Vegan transition process that was very difficult to endure. Because it was making me aware of things that I felt more comfortable being unaware of. So, this is why you'll always see a lot of defensiveness if you try to convert people over to a Vegan diet. Because there is a deep and hidden guilt and an unconscious feeling of powerlessness. There's just an uncomfortable bump in awareness that comes along with the whole thing. So, you will not be able to get to people by using guilt or brashness as this will just compound the discomfort that's already there. When I was transitioning Vegan, I was talking to this guy on my channel who was gung-ho about Veganism. And even though he was the one that encouraged me to just let go of it (I was already Vegetarian), he had a shaming way about it that almost made me want to forget the whole thing. It added even more discomfort to my transition process, even though I know it was not his intention. So, these are just some things to keep in mind. I think Veganism is a great thing, and it makes sense to not consume products that cause pain and death if we can get our needs met in other ways. It also makes sense to have an agreement between inward values and outward actions. But you have to understand that being condescending will do the exact opposite of what you're intended goal is. It will just add another layer of repression. Vegans must realize that we are representatives of certain aspects of the collective shadow of humanity, so there will be a lot of resistance and just a general dislike coming our way. And this is just the way that things are right now, as this is the place that humanity is at. The best way to deal with resistance effectively is to loosen instead of stiffen. Try to punch a stiff board, and the board will break and your fist will bleed. Try to punch a tissue, and the tissue is still intact and present and the fist is unharmed. I'm confident that as humanity evolves, more and more people will go Vegan. Though I don't think the percentage of Vegans will ever exceed 40% of society, this pattern will eventually create the demand for the scientific community to step in and create genetically identical meat and dairy products that are cheaply produced in a lab without needing to raise and kill animals for it. Once this happens and the price is low enough, it's only a matter of time before the cruel practices become obsolete. But this is just my guess and hope as to how it will come to be in the future.
  4. This has not been my experience of being a person nor has it been my experience of observing people. Can you clarify what you mean by men not having any femininity to them and vice versa? If you don't mean particular traits relative to the masculine and feminine, what do you mean? Something that I've noticed in people that stands out more readily than in the average person, is that we can often find many men and women who fall more toward the contrapositive side of the polarity relative to their gender. Most people fall more toward the same polarity as their gender (e.g. men are more masculine/women are more feminine), but there are plenty of exceptions on this spectrum. There are men who are overwhelmingly feminine and women who are overwhelmingly masculine. And this is something that they can't even pretend to not be. Their looks may even reflect a non-traditional degree of masculinity and femininity. Some women have broad shoulders, are tall, and grow facial hair. Some men are short and dainty with big eyes. And this is just the outward look without yet looking at behaviors. For example, if we look at the archetypal feminine gay man, I can't see how you would say that there is no femininity in him. The very way a man like this speaks and moves is undeniably feminine to my perception. Can you clarify how a man who I see as so clearly being more feminine, has no femininity to him simply because he is male? Also, I've noticed that people who are more androgynous are very creative people with a lot of interesting ideas and a fully developed personalities. Many artists, writers, and poets are very androgynous. It is often men who cling to ideas of traditional masculinity and women who cling to ideas of traditional femininity who are very dull and trapped by their identifications. They end up painting themselves into boxes because they adhere to rules and social conscriptions about how they should behave relative to their gender. Like I would say that I'm definitely a more feminine person, myself. But I've always had a love affair with my masculine side. I would not want to make some rule against being able to have that part of myself. That would be a major repression and loss of vitality to my life.
  5. I have found the opposite to be true. If a woman tries to be only woman or if a man tries to be only man, then they are going to miss out on huge parts of themselves and reality. The masculine polarity is all about movement/transformation without substance. The feminine polarity is all about substance without movement/transformation. We need both to even exist. A man is not made by sperm alone nor a woman by egg alone. Human beings are highly androgynous by nature as we both contain the masculine and feminine. It is only our social customs that makes us want to polarize our gender in the first place. And likewise, it is our social customs now that make us want to ignore the existence of masculinity and femininity. It's only when we can own both sides of the polarity that naturally occur in each individual that we can truly be alive in the fullest sense. It is the masculine/feminine polarity that creates life itself. Without both aspects of ourselves, we become dead and inert.
  6. I just bought the blender from the video like a week or so ago. It's funny to see it popping up in a Leo video. It is a really good blender with razor sharp blades. I didn't expect this and ended up getting a small cut on my finger when I was washing it. So be careful. But, it's definitely a good investment. I got mine on sale for like $70, when industrial blenders are normally between $100 and $300. I think Vitamix blenders are even $500 or more. So, if anyone's looking to make an investment, I recommend looking it up on Amazon to see if they're still on sale.
  7. Not to assume that this is true but to consider this possibility. If everything is one thing, and that one thing is you, and that one thing is God, and God creates reality, then why would it be farfetched to assume that meditation contributes to the betterment of the world? Perhaps, all the issues of the world stem from your personal inner turmoil. Since meditation is meant to resolve inner turmoil, maybe meditation can have some effect on the resolution of outer turmoil as well. I'm not saying that this is true. But I am saying that it's just as much of a possibility as any other interpretation of reality. So, don't take for granted that inner work has no effect on the outer world. But I agree that outer work should be done in tandem with inner work because the opposite can be assumed as well. If we don't treat reality as dualistic, we can see that the well-being of the outer experience and the well-being of the inner experience are all one well-being. There is no inner and outer.
  8. Just to clarify, when I said teacher, I didn't mean academic teacher. I meant a meditation facilitator or master, such as in Zen traditions. My advice was to find someone who could help guide a person with their practice, so that they don't aggravate psychological issues.
  9. Meditative practices can parse the barrier between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. So, even in meditators without schizophrenia, meditation can cause hallucinations in daily life due to the subconscious projecting outward onto reality. Shinzen Young mentioned that he had an issue where he was seeing giant bugs everywhere for a few years, after 4 or 5 years of meditation. But it was okay, because he could tell that they were hallucinatory projections and just detached from them and greeted the issue with awareness and equanimity, just like any other occurrence. So, someone who has Schizophrenia may have more intense issues with this due to having a prone-ness to hallucination. Also, psychosis is a rare but possible symptom of meditation or any kind of spiritual practice. My advice would be to find a teacher who has worked with people with Schizophrenia, so that they can guid you and help prevent you from ending up in a negative place. I would not attempt meditative practice without a psychiatrist's okay and an experienced guide. Mostly, just make sure that you are very careful, if you should decide to try any spiritual practices.
  10. I'm like 99.9999999999999% positive that it has nothing to do with your looks. It's been my experience that many men talk about how they want to date a 10. But most would be thrilled with a 6, and a decent percentage would go for a willing 3. So, if your perception is that you're at least average looking, then looks are unlikely to be a huge barrier to getting a normal amount of male attention. It's my perception (guys can correct me if I'm wrong) that the average man's main concerns when approaching women are, 1. How likely is it that she will like me? and 2. Is she going to be offended/mad/mean if I approach her? So, it's a possibility that men may look at you and either think, "She'd never say yes to me and/or a guy who cold approaches." or "She looks like she'd be offended if I approached her." It's often reasonably attractive but prudent seeming women don't get male attentions. A friend of mine from college was a cute girl (definitely at least a 7), but she never had a guy show interest in her until she was 22 or 23. And she was always perplexed as to why. She just gave off the good girl vibe and probably scared a lot of guys off.
  11. I second this. @Thinh
  12. Sure. You can show your friend my channel. Though, it may not resonate with him if he's not into self-help/spirituality/psychology. You may have to find something else that resonates a bit closer to where he is to get him moving in a more positive direction first before he's ready for deeper levels of development as you find in videos from myself, Leo, or other spiritual-based self-help authors/video makers. You may try someone like Tony Robbins first or someone focused more toward external success.
  13. I do have issues with self-sabotage as well, though it's much better than it used to be. I was reading in the book "The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt that the mind is like a rider on top of an elephant. So, the conscious mind is the rider and the subconscious mind is the elephant. So, even if the rider wants to do something, if the elephant isn't trained to listen to the rider, the rider won't be able to have control over the elephant due to the elephant's superior strength. So, to get control over the tendency to self-sabotage, the subconscious must be worked on via meditation and other forms of inner work to "train the elephant" to listen to the "rider." But if you want to both have control over your emotions and to not repress them, you have to go in the opposite direction of repression. So, instead of trying to block the emotions out of your experience, you let them hit you fully and without resistance. This is how you process through emotions. So, whenever you feel emotions, it's important to make a practice of allowing it and observing it mindfully. This will enable to you to have equanimity (akin to stoicism in appearence) and awareness of any emotion. But it's important to make a practice of dealing with emotions as they come up in an open way.
  14. Oops. I just realized that we're way off the main thread topic. If you want to PM me, you can. But I don't want to get in trouble.
  15. I haven't had a long-term girlfriend before, as I've spent the vast majority of the past 11.5 years in committed relationships with men. There were only a few months in between the two relationships that I had during this time. But both my ex-boyfriend (of 4 years) and my husband were/are both open to me being able to experience that side of myself. So, it's never really been an issue of not being able to experience the more physical aspects of that side of myself. But I've always been an approach chicken, because the odds of rejection are quite high for a woman approaching a woman. Also, I currently don't have a lot of time to socialize or for spontaneity due to the constance of the task of parenting as well. So, I don't know anyone of the same gender right now that I am both attracted to and feel comfortable enough with. So, that part of myself is quite far away from my priorities for that reason and in lieu of an actual attraction to an actual woman this side of myself is kind of dormant. And despite living in Florida, most people that I know are very accepting of the LGBT community. There are a lot of open minded people here too, if you know where to look for them. So, I'm not too worried about judgment. But I'm definitely attracted to people of both genders, and men I'm attracted to much more often... though my deep attractions are usually few and far between in general anyway.
  16. It can clash if you identify too strongly with it or buy into self-congratulatorty thoughts about how skilled you are about remaining stoic. I used to identify strongly with stoicism when I was an older child/teen and prided myself on never showing emotions, especially anger, pain, fear, sadness, joy, and excitement. When I was about ten, I used to have other girls scratch me really hard until I was nearly bleeding simply to show how much pain I could take without showing emotion. And at that age, I would relish in moments when my male peers couldn't handle the amount of pain that I could. This aspiration toward stoicism tapered off a bit when I became a teen (and I became a wuss about pain again) but I still liked the fact that I could remain unemotional during almost any situation that most people got emotional about or frustrated about. But what I found later on was that I had repressed away and neglected much of my reality and authentic personality because emotional repression was needed to remain stoic in lieu of deeper insights. I'm actually naturally a very emotionally sensitive person, but I repressed this aspect of myself because I considered it a weakness. I just adopted stoicism because I wanted to feel superior to others so I could like myself. So, you want to drop Stoicism if you find out that it comes from a place that's motivated by the illusion of inadequacy, unlovability, or incompleteness. This is the fuel of the ego.
  17. Triggered!!!!! Just kidding. I'm trying to find all kinds of ways to relate men and women to fruit. Men have Adam's Apples. Women sometimes do spray tans and make themselves orange. So, in these senses, perhaps. But otherwise, one thing that I realized when I was a teenager is that people are all like 99% similar to one another, if you zoom out a bit. It's only our closeness to the situation that makes us hone in on the differences. If you asked another species to identify the male and female of our species, they may have trouble discerning in lieu of the adornments we add to ourselves. Most human beings have a high degree of androgyny, even if they try to play up their polarity through body language and style. So, men and women are more like, lemons and limes. There are differences that can be noticed... if you have a familiarity with the flavors.
  18. First off, I want to commend you for your self-honesty and your desire to be better. I think that many people tend to deny their own racist tendencies because they don't want to face the internal ugliness and to see themselves in a negative light. So, most people afflicted by racist thoughts and tendencies ignore them and end up expressing them without being aware that they are being racist. So, I think awareness is the most important first step, and you're already there. The second step would be to contemplate upon things like what you mentioned in the post: recognizing that all people within a group are different, realizing that your existence as you, could be literally any other way. What I mean by this is that you could just as easily be experiencing another person's experience if you were incarnated as a person in their situation or as them. Your birth as yourself is arbitrary. There are other contemplations that you can do as well, relative to the circumstances of birth and life circumstances. Also, you'll want to contemplate on the profound similarity between all human beings. There is a Latin phrase that translate to "Nothing that is human is alien to me." that expresses this insight. Human beings, though we have subtle differences (that seem to us like big differences) are still 99% similar. We're just so close to the situation that we recognize all the little differences. The third step is to get to know people who are of the races that you're racist against. It's harder to discriminate if you have friends within that group. However, a caveat would be that even if you know people from the group you have prejudices against, you can still fall into the "I'm not racist... I have a black friend" trap. It can be used to fuel denial of racist tendencies which can revert progress. The fourth step is to practice getting in touch with the emotions that cause you the discomfort, as sensations in the body instead of as thoughts in the mind. Practice dropping the thought and focusing just on the emotion. Racism is foremost a form of projection, so it always has to do with aspects of yourself that you've repressed and denied. So, a minority group who you know little about can function as a blank screen for a person to project their own disowned traits, anger, and resentments upon. So, if you reintegrate your disowned traits and resolve the inner emotional turmoil that causes this internal split and subsequent projection upon large groups of different looking people, this will allow you to address the root of the racism at its bedrock level. You'd be surprised that racism has little to do with race at its core. It has to do with self loathing projected outward. Otherwise, continue maintaining your awareness of these tendencies throughout the day and practice observing and then letting go of intrusive racist thoughts. And be gentle with yourself. This inner turmoil is surrounded by and in large part created by outer social turmoil. If you want to really make progress you have to allow yourself internal non-judgmental space to deal with this issue. People on the outside of your mind will likely judge you one way or the other and try to nudge you in their direction. Don't let the outward taboos and judgments impede your inner progress which can (and most likely will) be a messy and ugly process. So, try not to judge yourself.
  19. I would tell her that the rational thinking mind can distort insights received from higher wisdom, so to not take them too seriously. Don't feel torn about having an identity and growing yourself. I would also tell her to seek out information that stirs her emotionally because resonation with different teachers is one way to measure internal growth and to intuitively find the right information to go deeper inward. I would also tell her not to repress her masculine side and that traditional femininity and real femininity are often very far apart. Transcendence can't be found in adhering to traditional femininity. Also, I would tell her that there is never a single experience where all issues will resolve themselves allowing her to be healthy. I would also advise her to look into information on paradoxes and how to reconcile them. Also, I would tell her that the thing she is seeking is referred to as enlightenment and to do a Google search on it. And that she is not the only person who is pursuing this path. It's well-trodden, and she's not going crazy and is not alone.
  20. So, I have memories of ego-transcendence and how much better it felt and how everything radiated unconditional love. So, I know from firsthand experience that love is the substance that everything is created from. So, I've been trying for years to transcend the ego in hopes of alleviating my suffering and feeling good and feeling that connection to divine love so that I can enjoy my life fully without the constant suffering, which is now (through contrast with my past experiences of ego-transcendence) very evident. So, I was just sitting and listening to Alan Watts and he was talking about how God is acting out every role in existence. So, God is every human convincing itself that it isn't itself in a play where it takes itself in fully. This analogy is not exactly new to me, as I've heard it many different ways before. But Alan Watts said something that just made a huge lightbulb come on. He was saying that God pretends to itself that it isn't God so that it can take in its own performance and become completely absorbed by the performance. And the thing that really got me was that he said that 'God always enjoys the performance, even if the performance seems unenjoyable.' So, this has made me realize that I've been holding onto a false semi-unconscious belief. So, I've been thinking deep down, "I must transcend the ego so that I can enjoy my life." And I often recall the suffering that I realized that I was unconsciously experiencing prior experiencing ego-transcendence and how unaware I was. So, I have this feeling like "I need to be enlightened to enjoy my life, otherwise life will be constant suffering at an unconscious level." But Alan Watts made me realize that, at some level that's even deeper than the suffering, I am enjoying my life whether I know it or not. And I'm even enjoying the suffering. So, this belief adds to the illusion that I am a separate self who is unhappy, and covertly perpetuates the ego.
  21. Thank you. It's absolutely true that there can be too much spirituality. People get unhinged from reality sometimes, and body/energy/kundalini work can sometimes create actual psychiatric symptoms, such as psychosis. This is when grounding is needed and a trusted professional that shares the same values. I plan to film tonight after my kids go to bed. I don't see any reason why this wouldn't happen... other than sleepiness. But if I film tonight and edit tomorrow, I should have it up by Sunday. So, given my recent track record. I'd say it's probably going to be up on Wednesday. But I'll try for Sunday.
  22. I would include one caveat to what I just said. Though my family and I mostly keep to ourselves, it would be most ideal to find other people who share similar values. So, don't rule that out completely. But also feel comfortable in not engaging with people who have a toxic lifestyle and setting those boundaries firmly. We have a few people that we know and trust that we can hang out with... if we can ever find the time (this never happens). Also, we have two kids, 5 and 2, and it's very important that they get social interaction with kids their age... especially the five year old. So, maybe getting involved in after-school groups or daycares can help with this. And it would give you some time to observe the behaviors and values of other parents. That way you can do playdates and things like that so that your child(ren) get that social interaction, without the risk of negative influences.
  23. I can relate to your struggle. My solution has been to keep to myself and to my family. We're not perfect by any means. We have our things. My husband and I were talking about this the other day. We were talking about our financial struggles and other struggles to make our lives into what we want them to be. And we were lamenting on how we often go down to zero. This happens at least once a year where life is just on zero in all senses. But given that we're both from places where there is extreme amounts of darkness, we were able to feel okay with where we are. Some people's lives are so dark, that getting to zero is a pipe dream because they are so far into the darkness. But then it's also distressing because I want to help people. It's sad that so many people live such sad, isolated lives and get addicted to negative behaviors. But if I think about the truth of non-duality and the law of attraction, I try to flip my perspective for the sake of contemplation. So, if I follow the idea on an abstract level that there is only one thing and I am that one thing and that that one thing is God, it means that I am the creator of all things in my experience but that I am not aware that I am the creator of all things in my experience. I've hidden from myself somehow. So, there has never been a thing that was not me that I've ever experienced. So, every shred of darkness and light in my life has always been my own covert creation. So, if I am to assume that these negative manifestations in reality are all mirrors to my own unconscious imbalances, then perhaps the key to correcting the external problems is to correct the internal problems. So, even though it seems far fetched, perhaps it's true that if you heal yourself that your reality itself reflects that healing. For example, feminine repression has been a huge issue for me throughout my entire life. It's been a struggle for me to learn to value the feminine principle and to be okay with being a woman despite learning values at a young age that made me believe that femininity is lesser than masculinity. So, I have a fear of my feminine side, because I believe that it is my masculinity that makes me worthwhile. So, if look at this personal repression and I ascribe to the idea of oneness to it. Then I also think of myself as the only thing that potentially has ever been in existence (aka maybe there are no others), I toy with the idea that the history books reflect patriarchy and male dominance simply because of this personal problem that I have in this lifetime. I don't know this for sure of course and it sounds totally crazy. But considering that the ability for reality to be any which way, it's equally likely to any other interpretation of reality. So, I think that it's important not to rule out the possibility that healing yourself may literally translate to healing the world. But of course, no one knows this for sure. It's just one possibility out of an infinite number of possibilities. But it makes sense if you ascribe to the law of attraction and have an awareness of non-duality.
  24. It is likely that you continue thinking this because you believe it will remedy or mask the perceived inadequacy. Like, you probably believe that if you're aware of your "inadequacy", then you can control it/hide it and avoid situations where you're likely to be rejected. So, avoiding rejection is the goal and payoff. And there is probably a goal to become adequate and lovable too.