Emerald

Just more projection...

I'm not playing with you. I really am serious about what I'm saying. And if you go back and read my posts with a clear head, you'll see that I was trying to level with your perspective. But I did come up with the joke myself.

Precisely my point.

You still didn't answer my question. You just jumped around into very illogical forms of reasoning that have very little in common. It was like you went "Kevin Bacon... Bacon Bits... Megabytes... Megaman." Therefore Kevin Bacon is Megaman!

Rule number one is smart if you're looking for women with a moderate to high degree of unawareness relative to the often counter-intuitive nature of their own emotional and sexual needs. And this is common because society doesn't encourage this type of awareness and has historically met it with huge resistance. So, you will have a larger pool of women to pick from because this unawareness is common... but... But a woman who fits this description will often cling to social ideas about what's proper and should be empowering for a woman to feel and do relative to sex and is easily blind-sighted to the primal nature of her own instincts which she may unconsciously fear will strip her of power and autonomy. So, many women prefer to ignore this crazy rabbit hole and just tune out from it because it's easier to make up a nicer story. And this is why rule number one is rule number one in the first place. Many women will logically think that they want one thing because of social conditionings, discomforts, and fears, but their emotions are telling them a different story. But because most people don't listen to their emotions very well and just treat them as nuisances, she is far more likely to tell you what her mind has decided that she wants than what she actually wants. But this tuning out will give her very little ability to control and utilize these instincts for her own true desires to be met and it will cause a disintegration within herself. So, she's easy to pick up with the tricks that can be learned from textbooks because this causes a deep unconscious need to which these buttons can be pushed very easily. But she will often come out of the situation very bitter, unfulfilled, and hurt because it doesn't resolve the issue of unawareness. In extreme cases of repression, she may even come to think that her partner took advantage of her despite being a willing participant, due to social taboos surrounding female sexuality and an unconscious desire to explain away her wrong-doing. But rule number one is incredibly stupid if you're looking for a woman with a high degree of self-awareness and openness. It would seem that the person who posted is looking for a girlfriend and not a one night stand. So, I assume that he wants a psychologically healthy partner who doesn't have a lot of the above problems. So, I think it would be wise to listen to a woman's honest emotional reflections of how attractions worked for her when she was his age as opposed to only learning game and trying to find just anyone. But you said that what I'm talking about relative to women wanting to experience good and bad emotions, is not the same thing as what you're talking about. Could you elaborate, so that I might understand better?

I remember Leo saying something about this is his video and it's almost right but a little off. So, I'm going to correct you instead of him. It's rare that a human being wants to experience bad emotions. And if they do, it's because there is a desire for positive emotion buried underneath that impulse. It's just that women are more likely to endure the bad emotions if she feels strong enough positive emotions for a man. Nobody has to throw any bad emotions in there for good measure if they aren't necessary. I hate to butt in, but if there was a post where a woman was giving advice to a younger woman who was new to dating and said, "Men are physical creatures and they crave orgasms and to be kicked in the balls." I think there would be men, that would butt in and say, "maybe skip the kick in the balls part..."

If you are trying to attract a girl who's your age, I wouldn't worry a whole lot about social status... aside from being generally about as popular as she is relative to others in your peer group. A girl who's your age is looking for someone who mirrors who she wants to be. She wants a mirror to her own identity. When I was a teenager, I dressed gothy and listened to rock music. So, if a guy was interested in the same or similar things, I would instantly find him more attractive even if I wouldn't have found him attractive otherwise. I was also attracted to guys that I perceived to be in the same attractiveness/popularity range as I was. If a guy was too popular, I'd assume that he wouldn't be attracted to me and that was unappealing to me as I wanted (and still want) my partner to think I'm very attractive and that he's got himself a catch . I may have even judged him as snobbish as many of the more popular guys at my school were very arrogant. If a guy was socially inept and too awkward, then I wouldn't be attracted to him ether. So, it was all about finding a happy medium. This is what girls your age who are girlfriend material are generally looking for. If you want to get a good girlfriend, you have to first have a crush on someone in particular. Don't fake your feelings. And if you're interested in her, then only go for her unless you're sure that the answer is no. You will hurt a girl very much if you awaken feelings in her and flirt with her, then do the same thing with someone else. Then, you'll want to spark up a flirty friendship with her. Don't let on right away that you like her by being too forward but give her plenty of hints. The anticipation and guessing will make the girl think of you more and wonder if you like her or not, and it's in this time that she'll realize that she likes you. To get her in this mindset, be playful with her in a friendly way that borders on flirtation but isn't super clear. Draw attention to your differences. For example, you can playfully tease her for being shorter than you. But before you decide to get flirty with her, make sure that she's receptive to you doing this first. You can tell because she'll want to be around you and her body language will be open, and she will enthusiastically flirt back with you. So, the rule of thumb is to take one step forward and wait for her response. Then, if her response is positive, take another step forward. But if her response is anything but positive and enthusiastic, then take a step back. A healthy girl your age is looking to make a deep connection with a guy that she really likes and sees herself in. And if you awaken feelings in her, the feelings will be only toward you and they will be some of the most intensely positive feelings that a human being is capable of feeling. So, you don't have to worry about your stuttering because, if she likes you, she will find your stuttering enchanting just because it's a trait that you have. But if she doesn't have feelings for you, then she will feel neutrally about you and your stuttering. So, you don't have to worry about that either. Just be yourself and totally own it, and eventually someone will like you. But they probably won't show any signs unless you chat with them first. A lot of girls are nervous to talk to guys that they find attractive.

Well, the joker/fool is an archetypal symbol that has brandished itself in many cultures. I looked up the tarot meaning for you, though tarot isn't the only context that you'll find this archetype in. In the tarot deck, it is the only card that doesn't have a specific place that it's supposed to be in so it is given the #0. It can go at the end of the deck or the beginning of the deck, much like an Ace can be either the highest or lowest value. It represents the end of the old things in life and the beginning of new things. It is the number of unlimited potential. In fact, some theories that I read say that the entire tarot deck is representative of the journey of the fool moving through the major and minor arcana. So, it can represent a very positive change and a journey into the unknown. But it can also represent a kind of ignorance and going into uncharted territory in a very reckless way. Trying to be in the moment without regard to planning. Following the heart, without bringing your brain along. Either way, it's a card of journeying, change, mystery, birth, death, and the unknown. Given your experience, I would say that it's fitting that you have seen the joker in your vision. This actually reminds me of something just now. I haven't thought about it in over a decade. Back in 2005, when my friend Andrew was 19, he smoked PCP and a poster with the joker (from ICP) on it started talking to him. It told him that he needed to leave Michigan and move to Florida, and that if he didn't that he would get sucked into very negative things there, namely crime, drugs, and death. So, he made a huge life change and left a couple days later, and I met him shortly after he moved when we were co-workers. I'm not sure if this relates to this but I know that he was having some of the same feelings then. He had many spiritual struggles, and ended up having some major delusions a few years later. So, be sure to try to ground yourself as much as possible in reality and don't let yourself float away. I have also experienced similar feelings to what you're feeling. When I was 20, I felt very lost. I really fell down a few rabbit holes and it took me years of work to climb back out. But I'm wiser and more spiritually mature for it now, I think. It's given me a lot of perspective. But it literally felt like my soul got pushed back into myself a few feet for a long time. And it was like a big bubble had popped in me, releasing all the "demons and angels" (so to speak) I had been repressing for years. So, my recommendation is to try to accept where you are with a sense of equanimity and curiosity. Explore the unknown territory that you've unwillingly found yourself in, but remain grounded in everyday life and find small joys in the mundane. You'll be surprised at what can grow in that empty field you've crash-landed in.

The thing to ask yourself is "What assumptions am I making about the existence of other perceivers?" Your question takes for granted that you are one perceiver in a group of many perceivers that all experience the same reality from different viewpoints. So, right now, my cat is next to me. So, I may think "If I'm everything, then why am I not experiencing what my cat experiences." This assumes that my cat is actually a separate entity from myself. This may be true but it may be false too. It's a belief. You have to get in touch with the fact that you've never experienced anything outside of your present moment experiences. And that you really don't know for sure that there are other perceivers or perceptions separate from your experience. But you also don't know for sure that the opposite is true. When you realize how little you know about the reality that gave rise to your question in the first place, you can then let go of the hope to ever answer that question. And if you let go of enough illusions, your buoy can eventually rise to the surface of the water.

I recommend starting with just one habit to change, and make sure that habit pertains to meditation, diet, exercise, or sleep. If you change your habits to these fundamental things, it will have a ripple effect on all other areas of your life. Be sure to focus on just one of these for a couple months. If you try to change more than one thing at a time or don't allow enough time for the habit to set, you will almost uncertainly fall right back into your old habits. Right now, I'm focused on my diet. Once I have that locked down, I will focus on implementing a daily yoga practice.

@Prabhaker It's off topic but related to the earlier posts on the thread. There is a thing called 'virgin cleansing' where some believe that they can cure themselves of aids by having sex with a virgin girl, so that she gets the disease and they are cured of the disease. So, there are many young female children and teens who are raped for this reason. But this doesn't occur in India. It happens in areas of South Africa where there is little access to education. It's a commonly believed myth there in certain areas.

Thanks.

That's what I kind of gathered from the snippets I read from him. So, when he was promising me a future billion dollars from the "Pleidians" just to follow him on the forum, I thought that he must be in need of some feeling of significance or influence or being admired. So, I followed him on here and made sure he knew that I followed him just because he asked me to and not for some kind of monetary reward. I had no idea that he meant follow him literally, as a disciple. It's sort of unfortunate (and admittedly a little humorous) that the wording of the "follow" function on the internet can be played upon in this way by aspiring cult leaders. But I admit that it was a bit of blonde moment on my part not to consider that possibility, and that I could be lending credibility to a thing like that. Either way, I hope he gets help and learns to love himself without needing for others to think he's the messiah.

He messaged me a couple days ago about that stuff. He didn't pose himself as some religious leader but talked about some "Pleidian" prophesy about the first twelve Actualized forum members to follow him on the forum would get a billions of dollars. I just assumed he was wanting attention and to have more forum followers to make himself look cool. So, I humored him and told him that I didn't really need a financial incentive to follow someone on here, because it cost nothing and is no hassle. It's just a forum. And he was really excited and was like "Don't tell @Prabhaker that I asked you to follow me." So, I was like "I'm pretty sure he won't ask (or care for that matter)..." It sucks that that's what he was trying to do. I hope the poor guy gets help.

When I had my awakening experiences, it really felt like the suit metaphor applied. It was a complete release of the "suit", and emotions and thoughts that I would normally ignore and resist were suddenly non-threatening to me. I had no fear, even of death. So, they were allowed to play out at full stretch. Every emotion (positive and negative) was a like its own work of art playing itself out inside of me. And it was all beautiful and exactly as it should be. I didn't have any feeling of "this shouldn't be" or "I'm a bad person because of this emotion or thought." And my awareness got deeper and more expanded because I no longer had to repress and ignore things to keep a certain worldview or self-concept. I will definitely keep your suit metaphor in mind for inquiries as I do my mindfulness practices. It may actually be simpler than I think to let go. I think I just love my ideas too much, and I still protect many of them. Thank you for sharing this.

It seems to me like the primary distortion you have is believing that 'in order for something to be valid, it has to have some kind of utility. It must matter, be significant, or have value.' The fact of the matter is that "mattering" isn't real. It is not a part of reality. The idea of 'mattering' is just one of the mental measuring tools of the human lens that we use for practical matters in daily life. We use these tools for decision making and weighing options in 99.9% of human endeavors. But in that .1% exception, when you apply these measuring tools to existential questions, such as "What's the 'meaning' of life?" or "What's the reason for all this?" or "What's the point of all this?", the worth-measuring tools are not compatible with that paradigm. They are just inadequate to understand... and even understanding and reason themselves are incompatible. The measuring tools are incompatible with Truth, despite their practical utility. So, you have to be able to let go of the idea that the validity of something happening or existing hinges upon it having utility, worth, significance, importance, value, or 'having a point.' The reality is that we are infinite and reality is infinite, and the infinite is synonymous with unconditional love. It's unshakably valid despite having no reason, no value, and no point. And the measuring tools of the human brain cannot wrap itself around it. So, it gets confused when it cannot use it's usual worth-measuring tools to understand its value. There are no such things as value, worth, significance, reason, importance, reason, justification, or 'having a point' beyond the limited sphere of the human intellect. They are mere figments of our imagination.

I think this video will help you out. In my experience, the thing that causes the Nihilism is that you're aware in some ways and unaware in some other ways. So, the unconscious/semi-unconscious beliefs based in unawareness clash with the aspects of reality that you are aware of. It's part and parcel to the expansion in awareness... sort of like growing pains. Sometimes the body grows awkwardly and painfully in the same way. So, it creates a lot of discomfort and beckons for you to let go of those beliefs, which can be hard to spot. We are often like fish who have no idea what water is because they know no contrast, and don't recognize the difference between belief and reality. It requires a shifting of worldview to resolve and a ton of cognitive dissonance. But the Nihilism is based in a misunderstanding of reality as it is due to beliefs that are taken for granted but incompatible with reality.

No. I think it would be a shame to get rid of aging and dying. It's a really beautiful process, if you can let go of the attachment to youth and life. It's such a privilege to be a part of the process of birth, life, aging, and death... even if I cling to youth sometimes. Now, if we could prolong life for several decades longer, I'd be excited about that. But I wouldn't ever want to be immortal. Too much pain and suffering for one lifetime.

I have a related question that doesn't relate directly back to the query but I think could be of help. Do you ever have deep attractions or more physical attractions based on appearance and sex drive needs? Do you ever have a strong attraction to a particular woman or is it more of an attraction to women in general? Have you ever had a really deep attraction to someone where you couldn't get that person out of your head?

The traits mentioned above are "icing" traits. They are for polish, not for substance and will leave you unfulfilled. They are more for others to enjoy, but not yourself. You can cultivate them to add salt and seasoning to what is already there. But be careful not to reduce yourself to them or you will be monumentally unhappy. It's the trap of trying to fit the feminine ideal, which is incredibly narrow. All it will get you is attention... mostly male attention. But it's a shallow and capricious form of attention that has little to do with you as a person and more to do with how you appear. With few exceptions, it's forgotten every time it's encountered. I would not personally use Melania Trump as a role model, beyond taking some fashion inspiration from her. She doesn't express much idiosyncrasy, mystery, chaos, creativity, or something-ness. (Not that it isn't there... but she doesn't express it.) Feel free to cultivate an elegant style, learn to be graceful, and learn manners. But these probably won't do you well if you put too much importance on these traits.

If I had your name and I were trying to create a pseudonym, I'd go with D.A. Arnautu or Dan Arnautu or Dan Adrian. However, if I had to pick from your list I'd go with Dan Arnaud or Dan Edrian (though the E is kind of strange).

I tend to be a bit like this myself, in terms of pushing boundaries... either that or I'm the exact opposite. So, I'm either very shy and reserved and care too much what people think. Or I really push the boundaries of normalcy in social interactions with complete confidence. There is no in between. I went out the other night by myself for the first time in over seven years. It's one thing I miss about my time before I had a family. I used to do everything by myself, and I liked going places at night and being like a fly on the wall and just watching people and interacting with them here and there. I miss my solitude and waywardness sometimes... even though there were some unpleasant aspects of this too. I went out to a little jazz/cigar bar that I used to go to and had a couple glasses of wine. Up in the loft there, they have a bunch of couches where people just kind of hang out. You can hear the music but it's bit quieter and good for conversations, and has a nice ambiance. And I used to hang out up there and just ask people if they'd play chess with me and spark up conversations. So, I was able to do that again a few nights ago and it felt good. When I meet someone, I alway make it my goal to establish two things. The first thing is to convey a sense of extreme non-judgment with regard to the person's past and choices and personality (unless I perceive them to be dangerous, which occasionally happens). The second thing is to convey a sense of intense listening without distraction or trying to interject too much. I've noticed that these things are seldom given in most social interactions. So, people crave them desperately, and if I hit these two points I can almost always make a connection. I met a young man when I went out, and the conversation went deep pretty quickly. He was having some existential issues and relationship issues. It was very similar to the issues I had been having when I was a just a little younger than he is now. He reminded me in many ways of how I used to be. So, I feel like I was able to give him an outlet and some decent insights and advice relative to his situation. Also, I always like meeting new people this way. I hate small talk though and feeling the need to come across in a 'normal' kind of way. It all depends on if I feel like I have to contain my weirdness or not. But if I feel like I have carte blanche to be strange, then my strangeness is one of my greatest assets to making connections with people. Your holding eye contact thing is exactly the type of stunt that I'd pull if I'm in the right mood to spark up a conversation.

If you give a man attention, he'll generally give it back to you. It's perfect for someone who needs their existence validated through sexuality... which is a message that women get sent multiple times a day, every day of their lives. She may be so overt in her checking out another guy, simply because she feels like she needs the validation in order to feel desired and important. A certain degree of attraction to other people is normal. But if it's to the point of doing it all the time, and trying to get a reaction, she probably wants something from it. She may feel insignificant or fear insignificance and turn to male attention to fill that void. She may feel also that this attention is time-limited (because with age comes less male attention and existential validation), so she may have a fear of missing out and wanting to suck up all the male attention possible. Either way, she should be aware that it's embarrassing to you, and to respect your boundaries at least while she's out with you. She may be doing to to avoid feeling invisible, but she should also be aware of behavior that make others feel invisible and under-valued as well.

Well, the thing to understand about politics and similar topics, is that it's specifically designed by the media to get you into "tribalism" which is basically team against team mindset. It's a divisive tactic to maintain social control through separation... and to get more clicks and sell more newspapers. Basically, money and power, are the motivators. So, on your end of the spectrum, you get manipulated to project your disowned shadow traits onto feminists, social justice people, minority groups, poor people, liberals, etc. On the other end of the political spectrum, they get manipulated into projecting disowned negative traits onto conservatives, religious people, social institutions (positive ones too, if the person is really unconscious), rich people, and anything too normative. While I do think that deep thinking social justice oriented people who have a high degree of awareness, can do a lot to enact positive change, it's very clear that the average person who's associated with such movements has no clue how to do the good things they want to do. So, they mistakenly think, "if I want to help women or minorities or gay or trans or (fill in the blank) people I need to get all these regressive, bigoted people to believe what I believe. And the way to do that is to shame them for their absolutely wrong beliefs." So, this is why Feminists are often called Feminazis and people interested in social justice causes are called SJWs. They take their views as dogma and forget that they're dealing with very complex social patterns that run very deep. You can't shame and resist the problem away by force. It must be explored and delicately dismantled. So, instead of realizing this they think "If only everyone would think the way I do. Then the problems in the world would go away." However, this is the wrong way to do it, if you want to do it effectively. To enact social change effectively, you must be very objective in your observations of the social patterns to see what actually makes them tick. And you must be able to notice the ones that you yourself are effected by. So, if a social justice person goes around pointing fingers at everyone else but themselves, this is a huge issue. And sometimes the most troublesome social patterns come about from very small seemingly innocuous social mores that seem to have very little to do with the issue itself. But all of the self-righteousness and shame tactics totally backfires, and you get people who have the same values as progressive people repressing those values... simply because they don't want to be perceived or to perceive themselves as having those values as part of the ego identity. So, when you were talking about multi-culturalism, you probably have a repressed value. You might associate that value with something negative now because of how the media has made it look and what you've come to associate it with. So, multi-cultural values have no place in your ego identity anymore. So, it is sent to the Shadow, where it gets projected out as anger and resistance. So, my advice is to look at that list of things that you're angry at, and try to let go of resistance to them... including your fear of having those values associated with you as a persona. Learn to love your inner Feminist. Learn to see the media for what it is and see what each individual is motivated by, and recognize those traits in yourself. Recognize yourself in all those things. This will make the anger go away. Seek to understand and love will come as a result. With that love, anger will naturally dissipate.

I think they should try to overcome it if possible, and seek help so they aren't struggling alone. I don't think anyone should sever ties to their children in any circumstance, as this will cause a lot of issues. But if you can't be around them for their own good, at least try to visit with them often with the supervision of others. This would only be in the more extreme examples though.