Emerald

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Everything posted by Emerald

  1. It really does make a difference how you frame the argument. If the argument reflects something true and integrating as opposed to something false and divisive, the message is going to be heard by far more people. I know from firsthand experience that the expansion in awareness that Veganism (done consciously) entails is very uncomfortable. You come face to face with your own feelings of powerlessness to deal with such a huge and truly gruesome issue. It's really a "Soylent Green is people" moment. And you give up an often cherished behavior that you've had your entire life. You will never sway someone by shaming them or saying they're evil or that their actions are evil. People are wired to identify themselves with goodness, and are unlikely to accept this interpretation of their actions. So, to resist what feels negative, people will clamp down tighter on the thing about them that's criticized, and meat-eating will become a cherished identity as opposed to just something that they do. They will be so turned off by Veganism and Vegans, that they will resist it with vehemence. That's why so many people hate Vegans, and see them as self-righteous and judgmental. No one wants to be that. So, the shaming game works at cross-purposes to Veganism, because a lot of people don't want Veganism as part of their identity. Whenever, I converse with people about my choice to be Vegan, I always want to make sure to make a person feel a sense of non-judgment from me. After I tell them, a lot of people begin right away with a justification, and a kind of guilty reaction. Deep down, many know that the behavior is incongruent to their values. As I said in a comment before: most people have Vegan values even if their actions don't match those values. So, they unconsciously judge themselves, and fear the same from others who have chosen to abstain. So, my intention is to ease the tension and open them up, so I just tell them, "Dude. My clothes were sewn together by slave children. I'm not better than you." This makes people let their guard down and they get a feeling of positivity from the conversation. When a person feels positively about someone else and they feel heard, they are likely to mirror some of your behaviors. And if they'd already been considering giving up meat or going Vegan, it might just be the inspiration that gives way to the lifestyle change. But you can't expect people to make a colossal leap before they're ready. I know I wouldn't have been ready for Veganism even a few months before my transition. So, I just want to lead by example, and maybe open people up to new perspectives and give them the sugar needed in case they should decide to take the bitter medicine. And if they decide not to take the bitter medicine, I still gift them the sugar.
  2. You're welcome. I think confidence in you capabilities will help you gain a lot of clarity about where you should take your life. If you fear that you can't do something, it will limit your possibilities for response. But if you're confident that you can handle what life brings to you, then you'll be able to take more risks and make bold decisions to help improve your life.
  3. I'm Vegan. I found that I'm a lot more clear-headed and have more energy during the day. However, in the evening time, I need more rest if I haven't taken my vitamins. I'm also more sensitive to what I eat. Before, I was unaware of any effects my food was having on my mood and emotions, and now I'm a lot more aware. I've been Vegan for almost a year now. But many changes have come as a result: eating less sugar, more fruits and vegetable, and eating fewer processed foods in general. I really can't bring myself to eat a lot of the things that I used to because I've gotten used to a different way of eating. Here's what I currently do for my meals: I eat 4 meals a day Breakfast - Smoothie with Orange Juice, Bananas, Blueberries (and/or mixed berries), Gogi berries, Chia Seeds, Coconut Oil, (and Matcha and Beetroot Powder inspired by Leo's smoothie video). Lunch- Salad with 2+ types of greens (Romaine Lettuce, Watercress, Spinach, Arugula, Spring Mix, Bok Choy, and Kale are what I usually pick from). I also add alfalfa sprouts, grape tomatoes, shredded carrots, cucumbers, and balsamic vinaigrette or any dressing with a healthy oil to help absorb vitamins. Meal Between Lunch and Dinner- Vegetable Soup with 4+ types of veggies... made with Coconut oil, Garlic, and Sea Salt. Dinner- Whatever I want. I sometimes do veggies burgers, pastas, vegetable sushi, Mexican food or really anything with protein. Snacks- Larabars are great and have a ton of protein and have very few ingredients. I make tofu chocolate pudding. I'll sometimes get Lentil chips or Pea chips. I highly recommend trying Pumkin Pasta. You boil some (potentially Vegan) pasta. Then you saute several cloves of garlic in olive oil. Then you add one can of pureed pumpkin and one can of coconut milk and still together with the sauteed garlic. Heat it up for a few minutes. Then add about a half cup of Nutritional Yeast to the mix. Salt and pepper to taste. And it has a sort of alfredo-like taste and texture to it. It's really good.
  4. Logic is the primary measuring tool of the human lens, and it is an important part of our functioning as a human being. It's an amazing tool that humans have at our disposal which is our greatest strength and our greatest weakness as a species. But to believe that enlightenment has to do with logic in a direct way, is to make a big mistake. Logic is a thinking-based function, and enlightenment is something that occurs that reaches beyond the scope of thinking. It's the same mistake that many believe that "I think, therefore I am." Many people believe that they are their thoughts and forget the infinite nature of their being. So, thought is really only one small facet of what we actually are. The only relationship thought shares with enlightenment is if one has the ability to disidentify with thoughts and become aware of the self beyond thought. So, logic and enlightenment are quite different. Think of logic like you phone and enlightenment like your house. You may be addicted to your phone and be on it non-stop. But if you put your phone down, you realize there's a much larger reality that you live within (the reality of the house). You've always been in the house, but you're so distracted by the usefulness and busy-ness of your phone that you forget where you are.
  5. We're attracted to the emotion. But love is something different. Love in the unifying factor in all things. And to love (as a verb) means to recognize this unity. So, understand that the source of all things is love, and you'll see that both the emotion, the other person, and yourself are all part of love. Love is felt as an emotion, but is not itself an emotion. So, don't mistake my words as meaning that relationship is meaningless. Relationship and attraction and the feelings associated with them are just as much a part of the unity of oneness.
  6. Ironically, I bought the same blender a couple months ago. It works great. It was funny to see it pop up in a Leo video. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NGV4506/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
  7. I've had Sleep Paralysis since I was 13 years old. Though, I had a few out of body experiences as a child that I just attributed to paranormal activity (Once when I was 3 or 4, I woke up with holographic clowns projected all over my walls... It was terrifying). When I was 5, I dreamt that my sister and I were both climbing up a car jack that extended 100s of feet into the sky (my father is a mechanic). It was one of the small ones that normally go up only a foot or so, but in the dream the jack went all the way up to the clouds. I was hundreds of feet off of the ground and began to fall, and I was falling for a long time in the dream. Before I hit the ground in the dream, I woke up in mid-air and fell the remaining 4 or 5 feet onto my bed. I've had other experiences with floating and levitation too. When I was 15, I woke up with sleep paralysis and successfully got up from my body. I walked over to the mirror to look at myself, but I lost control and started tumbling around in midair. I couldn't get my bearings. I've had similar situations happen many times where I'll disconnect from my body, then just end up floating around next to my bed without being able to move or pick myself up from the ground. What's interesting about those is that I can actually see the underside of my bed. But it's frustrating when I think of all the cool possibilities that I could be experiencing. I feel like I should be better at controlling my experiences by now. Then once when my husband and I were dating, I stayed the night at his house. I woke up with sleep paralysis and was able to make my way out to the street. I stood in the middle of his road, and my legs below my knees were stiff and controlled and began levitating upward without my intention. But the rest of my body was out of control and I felt a little like I was a drunk person on a tiny platform that was slowly rising into the air. Not good for a person who's afraid of heights. As far as entities and attacks go, I've had a few experiences. My first time experiencing sleep paralysis, I was staying the night at my mom's house and I always slept in the same bed as her because I didn't have a bed there. I was sleeping on the side of the bed that had the alarm clock, and I woke up around 2 am not being able to sleep. So, I sat there staring at the alarm clock for a few minutes when suddenly, my mom (who was supposed to be sleeping behind me) starts tickling me under the armpits. So, I try telling her to stop but I wasn't able to speak or move very well. And the tickling sensation soon became a stabbing sensation like someone was trying to shove two metal rods into my underarms with the pressure that an adult male could apply. I tried to scream but couldn't, and it went on for a minute or two before it finally subsided. My mom was sleeping the whole time. I also had an experience where I was laying in bed and suddenly a magnetic force rotated my body 90 degrees in one swift motion, so that my legs were dangling off the side of the bed. Then the force pulled me onto the floor (again one swift motion). I was terrified and couldn't move as the force was pressing me down. Then, one by one, the force lifted up each of my limbs so that each limb was at its full extension and perpendicular to the ground. When I was finally able to get up, I tried to open my bedroom door but my hand couldn't grasp the doorknob and hurt immensely when I tried. I ended up falling through the door into the kitchen eventually. I had a couple of experiences with dopplegangers too. When I was 17, I lived with my then-boyfriend. He had gone to work, and I decided to take a nap after I got home from school. I woke up to him coming home and telling me that he'd gotten off work early. As we were talking, something was very off about him. It looked like him, but it didn't act like him at all. The mannerisms were off. But I just dismissed it and let him know that I was going to go back to sleep for a little while. The second that I layed back down, I heard the high pitched buzzing noise and he jumped on me and started biting my shoulder as hard as he could. I eventually was able to snap out of it, and everything was the same only the light was off and he was still at work. The other experience that I had with dopplegangers was when I was 24. I had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch and had already woken up once before with sleep paralysis. Sleeping in strange places tends to set it off for me. But I woke up, to someone unlocking the front door. It was my mom. She was making some casual comments about how work had been tough that evening and how she was tired. So, this immediately keyed me into the fact that something was off. My mom doesn't work and she doesn't live with me either. The second "my mom" saw that I had realized its game, its eyes went dead pan and it floated sidelong into the bed room adjacent to the living room, as it maintained eye contact with me. I walked to the room it had floated into, and my daughter was in the hallway just outside the room. She seemed very sprightly and not scary like the other doppleganger had been. But I stood next to my daughter and looked in the room and there was a couch in there now. And on that couch the dead-eyed versions of my mother, father, sister, and husband were sitting there and looking at me motioning for me to come in. Then, I just walked away and went back to where I was sleeping and laid back down. I wasn't having any of that. I also once, stumbled into a man who was made entirely out of long black braided screws. He had no face or distinct features. It was just a huge, man-shaped pile of black braided screws. It was scary to see him in my hallway, and I ran in the other direction. But he didn't pursue me. He just kind of looked (without eyes) in my direction as I ran away. I've never been strangled before, but my friend Amelia was strangled by a shadow man with a hat during her first experience. I've heard tell that a lot of people see shadow men with hats and old hags. And strangulation and not being able to breathe is a common occurrence, because the paralysis puts a lot of pressure on the chest. So, in this respect, it may just be a hallucination that the body comes up with to explain the extra pressure on the throat and chest. But there is also a change that OBE corresponds to a real reality. In this case, it may be the case that these entities have some kind of existence to them. I don't know how much this is true, but a lot of people who talk about the law of attraction with regard to OBE say that you can only attract negative entities if you have negative attraction points within yourself. I'm inclined to believe this is true, because since I've been really working on myself I haven't really had any negative experiences during OBEs. I was really low as a teenager and I had a bunch of negative and scary OBEs. So, if you want to have more positive OBEs, then you can try various things to integrate aspects of yourself that have become unconscious or repressed.
  8. I think that the above line is very telling. The 'wanting her' emotion is the emotion that you're afraid to let go of. You're attached to the feeling of unrequited love itself. It's really a beautiful emotion. The emotion of desire and wanting and fantasizing and projecting, is very intensely pleasant as much as it is painful. So, it may be the case that it's the emotion of "wanting" that keeps you stuck more than the potential for that wanting to turn into anything real. In this case, explore the emotion of 'wanting' to gain insight into what the 'wanting' points to. Intense emotions can be used as a springboard into deeper levels of self-awareness and a way to realize more of your completeness. Don't try to repress the wanting or forget it. Give it permission to be there. But don't identify with it or get lost in the fantasy of "when I achieve this relationship, then I can be happy." Find the part of you that loves the emotion itself. You will find that you see the girl as simply a trigger for your desired emotional state because you've projected an unrealized part of yourself onto her. You are already complete, and you already contain what she represents. So, let your desire lead you to that part of yourself within yourself. Does that make sense.
  9. I will definitely eventually address this topic. Thank you for watching my videos. I'm glad that you like them.
  10. I'm sure he would cover the topic to the best of his ability given his knowledge of having been a kid and how he would have like to have seen it done. But what I found in parenting and working with children/teens, is that all bets are off once the rubber meets the road. I had tons of ideas and theories about what good parenting was before I was a parent, that I now laugh at. I had all sorts of ideas about teaching before I was a teacher that I now recognize as either non-functional, too idealistic, or harmful. So, I don't know if Leo would be the best one to cover this topic, as he has a limited amount of experience and his focus would likely default toward raising children who have the capacity toward high degrees of self-efficacy, as he is a very intelligent person. I would imagine he'd probably gear it in such a way that it would be like, "How to raise self-actualizing children." But I don't necessarily think this is the best focus for young children, or even pre-teens. But this is just an assumption.
  11. I am a both a mother and a teacher to school aged children and teenagers. I think the best thing you can do for kids is to help them develop a positive self-image and to help them develop skills while simultaneously conveying to them the sense of unconditional love and acceptance. But you must also prepare them for life and society and its rules. So, discipline and limits are necessary as well. But the trick is to make them aware of the negative effects of their bad behaviors, while making sure that they know that you care about them no matter what. But you, as the adult, have to be the one that leads them and not the other way around. They won't respect you if you don't set firm boundaries. If you start out too nice, then go stricter then you will be perceived as a jerk. But if you start out a little reserved and strict, then loosen up a little, students will respect you and see you as having "gotten cooler". And this is true even if the teacher in the second scenario is still stricter than the teacher in the first. Students may seem to like it when they can get their way and it can be flattering to be the "cool teacher" or "cool parent", but children (and even teens) crave positive leadership from a strong adult that they trust, care about, and aspire toward. They want guidance from someone who has been where they've been already, even if they also crave independence. So, from firsthand experience, I can tell you that the friend route doesn't really work that well. When my preteen/teenage students ask me if I'm their friend I respond, "Not exactly. As your teacher, I'm more of a mentor than a friend. I genuinely care about you, and I want what's best for you and I like being friendly with you. But a friend is a different type of thing. When you're an adult, we can be friends. But for now, the relationship is more of a mentorship." But it's also important to show them your similarities and your humanity. It's important that students be able to see themselves in you. I had a student ask me the other day if I watch 'Rick and Morty.' I like questions like this because it means that the student is trying to see if I have things in common with him. And if he can make that connection and see himself in me, he may choose me as a positive role model of his, which is much healthier than some of the role models that can be found in popular media. I also think that helping kids develop emotional and practical skills that will help them better their lives, is the best thing for a teacher to do. In some cases, this might mean preparing students for college or a technical career. But there are a wide range of intelligence levels, so for some students, this is not the best course of action. For some, teaching them how to toilet train might be a huge accomplishment. I've been in self-contained classrooms where there are some students that will never be able to do this on their own or to feed themselves without assistance. So, the trick is to always ask yourself, "What can I give this student to help them make their lives better?" And the answer will be different for everyone. But if you want a child to listen to you and if you want to be able to effect their behavior, they have to be able to 'buy in' to you. They need to know that you care about them. And if you challenge them to stretch just a little bit further than they're used to stretching, if they care about you they will be far more likely to reach those new potentials.
  12. If this is a genuine question... I think it might be because we generally associate meanings with directions, consciously or unconsciously. When I was little, my right hand was always God and my left hand was the Devil, so I always liked things on the right better. I would do little competitions and battles between my hands and make my right hand always win. But when I was a teenager, I started to realize that not everything is as it seems. So, I developed a resistance to the right side and to even numbers. Everything had to be left or uneven or strange in some way, because things that are too normal hide a lot of bad things. But now, I start to see directions as being bereft of value and meaning... for the most part.
  13. I went to a little sushi place, that we go to from time to time. I don't eat raw fish anymore... though I miss it. Salmon and eel were the hardest to give up when I stopped eating meat. But I really enjoy avocado sushi and sweet potato sushi. My daughter made me a little card. She likes to do things like that.
  14. It was good. We went out of town for the evening and went to dinner. Other than that, it was business as usual.
  15. I recommend moving away for a while. This will make your decision clear because you'll have a standard of comparison. The situation will still be there to come back to eventually... if you want to. But are you afraid that you won't want to go back? I ask because I've been in situations that I've been afraid to take time off whenI loved a person, but they were toxic to me. I was afraid to leave them behind even for a little while, because I knew deep down that I wouldn't be going back. And it became immediately clear the moment I left, that I didn't ever want to go back. I think that taking time off is the risk you need to take to truly know. Otherwise, you're just going through scenarios in your mind without real perspective. Deep down, you probably know that you don't want the dysfunction... but you're afraid of what will come. This is my impression. Correct me if I'm wrong.
  16. I think it might be the one on dealing with negative emotions by allowing them to pass through you. The one where he was talking about becoming like a superconductor.
  17. I think this is the one. I've never known Leo to take down any videos... and if he did, it wouldn't be because a commenter disagreed.
  18. The reason why I say that it's low is because he has that amount of views spanned over 350 videos relative to my 60 videos. So, his channel is about 6x larger than mine with the same number of views. This means that he doesn't have a large amount of subscribers tuning in whenever he post a video. You usually get about 20% of views per video relative to subscriber count: some from subs and some from newcomers. So, if his average view count for each video is between 100 and 200 views, this means that he probably has around 1000 subs. Also, usually when YouTubers hide their view count, it is for the reason of trying to hide a low subscriber count.
  19. Thanks. It does become really obvious when you've been through the dry spell at the beginning to see when others are trying to grow their channel in ways that don't really work. Plus, I checked out the guy's channel after I posted yesterday, and my suspicions were confirmed about the low sub count. This Leo critique video was one of his most popular videos and it only had like 350 views. So, he has a very low subscriber base despite the fact that he's been consistently uploading for two years. And looking at the things he has posted, it's a lot of racist kind of stuff... or just obnoxious "basic" kind of stuff. So, I definitely think that he's just trying to piggy-back by criticizing Leo. That way, all the Leo fans will be upset and click on his video.
  20. I really just think he's trying to get views off of doing a response video to Leo and being generally abrasive. Having a YouTube channel myself, I know it can be a difficult thing to get your first subs. So, I see it as him taking the easy route. I noticed he doesn't have his subscriber count shown. It probably means that his sub count is low and he wants to seem more influential than he actually is. He also stated a few falsehoods just in the first minute that I watched. Leo didn't take down a video because he disagreed with him in the comments. The logo has nothing to do with the "man boy love association" or whatever the hell. And there were a couple other things too. The best thing you can do if you see a video like this where the person is just trashing on another channel just to get subs is to not give them the watch time. Watch time and audience retention rates are the biggest factors for getting more views and subs on YT. So, if they see a lot of people dropping out before the two minute mark of the video, it will inform the YT algorithm that the video is either irrelevant or not interesting.
  21. Thank you. No plans that I know of. I have work tomorrow, so the first half of the day is just that. But we might go do something when I get off since my hubby is off tomorrow.
  22. There is no necessity to believe in God/Devil as real entities in order to be a good person. I don't believe in them as entities myself, though I admit that I don't know anything for sure. To me, God is everything that's ever been/is/will be and the Devil is a solely human-based psychological occurrence. They aren't opposites... but moreso the "Devil" is just another manifestation of God. But this is just what my experiences have lead me to believe. There is no necessity to believe anything... but there is a necessity to be able to recognize the native darkness that we all have. This is one of the reason why some of the best people that I know are Atheist, Agnostic, or generally non-religious. What I noticed is that many religious folk tend to identify themselves with the good and righteous. And that they have an extreme resistance to noticing the darkness in themselves... which ironically makes them vulnerable to the "whisperings of the Devil." This is why my quote from my earlier post is very relevant. You may not believe that the Devil exists as an entity, but it certainly exists as part of the human psyche. It can be experienced very clearly if a person is willing to face their own ugliness. So, in the case of the Devil... a rose by any other name...
  23. There is a good quote related to this. It goes something like "The smartest thing the devil ever did was convince everyone that he doesn't exist." The Devil definitely exists as part of the human psyche that subtly influences our behavior toward destructive drives. Lucifer is (more than likely... unless there's some other dimensional blah blah) just a mythical creature, but what he represents is very real and is the very reason why there's so much bad in humanity. I think this is what SLICKHAWK meant by Lucifer.
  24. The way to reconcile these things is to not identify yourself with being a victim. You can acknowledge that someone has wronged you and that certain things are not your fault. However, when you take 100% responsibility for you life, you acknowledge that however you decide to respond is 100% your responsibility. So, the power is in your hands to respond in any way. No one can fix your problems for you, even if you didn't cause your problems. So, even if courts call a person a "victim" because they've been victimized, there is no need to own "victimhood." It's like being assigned a juror number. You may have been juror number 5 in the most recent court case, but as soon as you're done with the case you don't care about your identity as juror number 5 or feel like you have to keep it for life. You simply realize that it was a useful label in the context of the justice system, but not useful in any other scenario.
  25. I will probably continue to upload once every 2-3 weeks until early June when my assignment ends. I've been having difficulty finding energy to make them weekly because I work 40 hours a week and each video takes me about 10 hours of work to put together. So, fifty hours of work and the rest of the time for child rearing is difficult for me to keep up with. When I get the chance to film after the kids go to bed, all I want to do is relax and have some me time. Before, I was working about 20 hours a week, so it wasn't a big stretch in energy to make a video a week and be really consistent with my schedule. But I figured that with summer coming up, I will have a lot more time on my hands and I can even schedule multiple filmings in one sitting. Since the setup to the filming is one of the more time consuming and difficult to schedule things, this should help my frequency and consistency. I may even decide to do one long video a week like normal, and maybe a few quicker videos for throughout the week. But I'm not sure yet. I have to see how it goes. I have considered mentorship before. I work with kid and teenagers, so I have somewhat of a mentorship function. But it isn't in the same way as I'd be giving direct life advice or anything of that nature. I don't remember Annie off-hand, but I normally have a pretty good memory for people who comment. Can you describe her screen picture or the things she talked about in her comments?