Emerald

Thank you for the suggestion!

They do surveys of wide samplings of society. I know that there's some degree of potential for inaccuracy. That said, even if it's a little bit inaccurate, the general pattern still shows that we have an issue that needs to be remedied in society relative to the societal response to someone coming out about rape and deciding to press charges. Plus, my experiences with sexual assault in general indicate to me that it's a common occurrence. And I never reported any of the four of them, mostly because they happened when I was a child/teenager and I didn't want to deal with it because I'd rather just move on. The thought of coming out with it and dealing with it legally was so repulsive to me, that I'd much rather let it go. That's one of the reasons why I believe that defaulting to believing the accuser over the accused will result in a better and more transparent society where people feel more comfortable coming forward.

As long as you keep your neutrality to yourself in this matter, it won't affect society. But if you come out as neutral and choose neutrality and "innocent until proven guilty" as your hill to die on in response to rape allegations, then it causes a lot of problems on the macro level. But I'm not being idealogical. My advice on this is purely practical when considering the ramifications of such neutral stances when widely held. It's all about the impact on the broad scale, even if the intent is to be impartial. If a person really cares about victims of sexual violence, then they will likely consider the impact of their stances relative to these matters on society as a whole. And if we look at the big picture, the best way to do that is to not spread any more skepticism to the victim than there already is. Every victim of rape will be lambasted with accusations of false reporting... probably by tons of friends, family, and strangers. So, when a random person, says "innocent until proven guilty", it sends a clear signal that they're not on their side and don't empathize with them one bit.

Again, you unfortunately don't have the luxury of being neutral or objective in this situation. Unfortunately, on the practical level, there will either be total non-involvement or picking a side. So, if you're giving the abuser the benefit of the doubt on the off-chance that they're in that 2%, then you are in effect withdrawing support from the victim whether it is your intention or not. And when most people in society do that, the majority of victims WON'T come forward. Again, if your opinion means absolutely nothing of legal substance, doesn't it make the most sense to default to believing the abused. Doesn't it make sense to default to believing the abused if 90% of rapes go unreported? This is a much bigger issue that the 2% of falsely reported rapes (which is 10% of rapes... so 2% of 10% which equals .02% of all rapists/alleged rapists combined). So, you're saying that .02% of all accused rapists deserve the same level of concern as the 1/4 or more of women and 1/10 or more of men who have been the victims of sexual assault. That's just going to make it easier for rapists to rape. So, unfortunately, those .02% (while I feel bad for them) I prioritize making society a place where it's more difficult to get away with rape, as this will save many more people grief. I understand why this issue is uncomfortable. I've thought it through extensively. And if you really understand the gravity and scope of the issue of sexual assault, then you will see why this is really the best solution. And the best part about it is that your opinion isn't the law's opinion. You can think whatever you decide without it effecting legal proceedings.

Again, I said that it's my rule for 'me' as an individual. The legal process needs to have impartiality... I do not.

Because to say "innocent until proven guilty" (as an individual person and not as a jury member or judge), means that you are always giving the benefit of the doubt to the abuser and always calling the character of the victim into question by default. So, it puts you in a situation where you have to make the choice of either accusing the alleged abuser of a crime, or accusing the alleged victim of a crime. There is no middle ground. And because most people make the 'innocent until proven guilty' their default answer, they default to accusing the victim of the crime of false accusation. And whether they intend to or not, it plants a seed in the minds of society. Because of this fact, it MUCH more difficult for victims of sexual abuse to come forward, because they may decide that it would be too painful to have so many people think that they're low enough to falsely accuse someone of a sexual crime. So, it adds insult to injury. And given that false accusation for all crimes (including but not limited to crimes of a sexual nature) is at a rate of 2%, if you automatically default to giving the alleged abuser the benefit of the doubt, then you will be wrong 98% of the time. And the abused will know that the seed has been planted in so many people's minds that they, as a victim, are the criminals and that the actual abuser is the innocent one. That would be very painful after having been raped. So, I know it's uncomfortable because we don't really know what's actually happening. And if we've never been the victim of sexual assault, it's much easier to empathize with someone who might have been falsely accused instead of someone who might have been raped. So, we imagine what a nightmare it would be to be in that 2%, but we can't imagine what it would be like to be in that 98%. So, I always default to believing the abused, because that means I'll be correct 98% of the time. Also, I will add to a culture that makes it more comfortable for victims of abuse to come forward without having to worry about friends, family, and society turning against them and sympathizing with their abuser over them. Believing them is the bare minimum thing a person can do in terms of supporting a victim of these types of crimes. But most importantly, I also acknowledge that I don't really know and because of that fact, my opinion means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE. So, because my opinion means nothing and has no real substantial impact on what happens, it's all the more reason for me to default to believing and siding with the abused.

That would be excellent! I'm sure I'll have a ton.

I'm running the service through my Patreon, so they actually have to pledge and pay first. Then, when I do full-time coaching, I will probably continue doing one-off sessions through Patreon, but do my more extensive coaching practice through my website, which would also be paid in advance.

I definitely plan to work mostly online. I could do a face to face meeting if someone is close-by to me. But mostly, my established audience is online and at random corners of the Earth. So, I probably wouldn't do the magazine thing. That would be better if I had a local brick and mortar business. I'd just use my channel and my FB page to advertise it. And I think I'll be able to get clients pretty quickly. Currently, I've done very little advertising for my 'guinea pig' experiment and I only have 4 out of the 10 slots left. And most of my subscriber base doesn't even know about it yet, because I haven't made a video announcement about it. I was thinking that once I am certified, I could offer 'one-off' 30 and 60 minute sessions through my Patreon account. And I would offer a more extensive coaching program through my website, which would be a lot more involved and have a whole system around it.

@Nahm @ChimpBrain Thank you for the guinea pig offer. I have it posted as a tier on my channel's Patreon page, if you want more details about it. Here is the link: https://www.patreon.com/thediamondnet

I don't really think that's why he believes he will only live to be 60 or 70. Meditation doesn't have an adverse effect on health in that way. Plus, Kriya Yoga is very active. He may just be low-balling his life expectancy to give himself more of a sense of urgency to achieving what he wants to achieve or to become aware of how close death looms upon the horizon. But there could also be other reasons that he doesn't much mention.

Thank you for the sentiments. I'm sure that a lot of people would consider me sufficient as a coach now. And that's why I feel comfortable enough to get some "guinea pigs" to try it out on. But I know that I would feel as though I was bluffing and faking it, which I would be. I would be far more comfortable with completing a program and being as qualified as is possible. I don't like to feel like I'm cutting corners. Then, once I do that, I can establish a firm professional foundation for my practice and offer both long-term coaching and one-off sessions as well. And I'll have more professional clout and experience to make myself and other more confident in the service I'd be offering. I've looked into the IPEC program that Leo suggested, and I do feel that the things they would be teaching dovetail nicely with the way I want to approach coaching because it is geared toward becoming aware of what's unconscious that stands in the way of personal growth. And the creator of the course took strong influence from psychotherapy, NLP, consciousness work, and other depth psychology related things, which is all right up my alley.

Certainly, there is a financial motivation behind my desire to go into coaching. But I also want a career that actually fits with my life's purpose, where I can focus on giving value in the way I'm most suited to. Currently, I spend almost 40 hours a week as a substitute teacher. And I'm okay at the job, and I enjoy certain aspects of it. But I never get the feeling like it was what I was meant to do. I mostly do it because I'm not well suited to full-time teaching, due to the fact that I have a personality that invites people in. Now, in regard to my life's purpose, this is a positive thing. But with regard to being a classroom teacher, it's super stressful for me. I have to keep most of my personality back, because if I show my personality in that setting, there will be at least one student who takes my open-ness as an invitation for fuckery. And once that one person does that, others follow. So, I have to basically pretend to be a rigid person to keep the classroom under control. This is why substitute teaching works for me but regular teaching does not. Because when I'm subbing I can be that rigid person and lay down the law to keep the duckies in a row. And the students won't try me because they believe my front. But once I get comfortable and get to know my students, I naturally start to relax and care and open up. And that's when classroom management becomes a struggle against my own natural tendencies. Because there will always be a student or two, that take my open-ness as an invitation for misbehavior. So, that's why I sub instead of teach, even though I make like a third of what I did as a full-time teacher. So, I make like $12000 a year. But it's better than making the $38,000 a year that I used to make as a regular teacher working 60+ hours a weak and always struggling despite all the work I was putting in. But I probably could do okay with it, even just reading a few books. But I'm pretty set on going all the way and doing a course. I'm sure there are plenty of things that it can teach me that I wouldn't otherwise anticipate. So, I'm going to see if I can find a way to get the money to pay for the course. I'm sure that it will be worth it in the end. I just really need to get my life in alignment with what I really want to do. Making a living has always been a struggle for me. And I like to think this money struggle is life's way of pushing me into something I'm much more suited to so that I can give my time to something that the world would benefit from. And what's great about not making a ton of money is that it shouldn't be too long before I can do that and make the same or better living than I do now. I've just always had a lot of limiting mindsets around needing to have a 9 to 5 job in order to be safe with my finances, what little they are. But I'm just now considering that perhaps it is doable for me to make a living doing the thing that comes most naturally.

I've spoken about these kinds of experiences before on my channel from a lot of different angles. But it's always to help facilitate people to look deeper at situations in their own life and look deeper into their internal experience and to reintegrate what has been repressed and forgotten. I got a lot of insights into how repression works when I had my experience of ego transcendence. So, I like to share my experiences to illustrate the mechanisms at work so that people can see what they're up against. But if I wrote some books, I would keep my focus more toward what I feel that most people can benefit from. Now, I've considered writing a "seeker's guidebook" to different things to contemplate and different angles to view things from. So, I suppose higher truths would come into that book quite a bit. But honestly, I'm much more interested in writing things that will help solving issues (of an internal nature) that everyone (or most everyone) is suffering from, like self-hatred, judgment, etc. And sometimes higher truths are applicable, but other times more practical truths are more appropriate. But with regard to coaching, the client would be coming to me with specific goals or issues to overcome. So, I would tailor the sessions to them, and addressing their specific needs.

I've been working on these quite a bit with my YouTube channel already. So, regarding the business aspect of coaching,I think that my coaching service will be a natural extension of that. I plan to keep everything in proximity to my own branding decisions, whether I do my channel stuff, write books, do coaching, do workshops, etc. But I'm not sure what you mean by "small clumps". Do you mean that I have to break down things down into digestible bites so that people can easily understand? If so, this is also something that I do for my channel. One of the core things that I get complimented on about my channel is demystifying psychological and spiritual truths, so that they are easy to understand.

It's not the amount of girls that you approach. It's more about whether or not you think a particular woman gets approached in that setting a lot. But I think what you said is fine, as long as you start with a "hello" and gauge her reaction to it. You have to watch for facial cues and body language to tell if she's okay with it. But none of this is something that you would be over legal bounds with, as long as you respect their boundaries and don't be too pushy or lewd.

I'm sorry for your loss. You must be feeling really terrible. Is there anyone that you can talk to in your life who is non-judgmental where you can just share your feelings to?

Thank you!

Personally, I think that I still have plenty to learn about how to help people in a professional setting. I'm confident in my ability to cut to the core of problems that a person may be experiencing due to unconscious happenings. What I don't know yet is the manner in which to facilitate growth in others in a way that really makes things stick. So, I would feel much more comfortable offering a coaching service, if I have professional guidance on the matter first. Either way, it certainly won't hurt to learn more.

Thank you Austin! I'll check that one out. And that would be really awesome of you to send some people over to me. I know that you've been a coach for a while. How long have you been doing it, and how many clients do you normally see at a time?

Harassment is illegal. Going up and talking to someone is not. So, cold approach is not illegal. It just depends on what you say and how you respond to requests to desist. So, if you go up and start with something lewd, that's illegal immediately. But if you go up and say, "Hi, you look nice today." it's not harassment until she says she doesn't feel comfortable with that. Then, if she tells you to stop and you continue, then it's harassment. But honestly, it's VERY unlikely that you would have legal consequences for cold approaching in general, even if you were a total creep about it and opened with "I like your boobs". Now, of course, that's illegal and just a crappy thing to do, so don't do it. But women have to deal with creeps constantly, and there's just not enough time to press charges against them all. And most women just want to get out of that situation and move on with life. Also, unfortunately, even when women are dealing with more serious forms of harassment like rape, most of that goes unreported because of the fact that so many people in your life will take the side of the abuser and accuse you of making false accusations. And the majority of people will give the abuser the benefit of the doubt over you, because of "innocent until proven guilty". So, it can just be easier to keep it to yourself and try to move on to avoid being re-victimized by society. So, if you approach a woman on the street and aren't a total creep about it, the chances of being prosecuted drop to nearly 0. I guess there could be some crazy woman out there that would get the cops just for looking at her the wrong way or something. But that would be incredibly rare and without proof on her part it would amount to nothing. So, as long as you are being normal and respecting her boundaries, you shouldn't have a problem. Women are used to being approached. And women are used to being harassed. It's really clear what the difference is. Now, approach becomes a problem if it's happening all the time. It's very annoying when you're just trying to get from A to B, and like 10 random guys approach you. That can be exasperating. So, you should pay attention to the setting and what she's doing there, and try not to interrupt her when she's probably been approached a lot.

@Leo Gura Thank you again for all the advice. I'll definitely call to see if IPEC has a payment plan.

I'm like Carmen San Diego... or all the monsters on Scooby Doo. You never know where I'll be or who I'll be. (lightning strikes and ominous music plays in the background as the tails of my trench coat billow in the wind and my silhouette is emblazoned upon the night sky)

Are any of those books on your book list? I purchased it a couple years ago, and I haven't looked at it in a while. Also, with the in-person program that you did, did you have to commute for it? If so, how often were the in-person meetings? I live in a kind of small town, so it would be unlikely that they have such a program within 30 minutes of me. So, I want to get a feel for how much of the course material is done in person. Now, I will admit, this will be very difficult for me financially to get over the hurdle. Money is always tight because my husband and I both work low paying jobs. And he (remarkably) has no credit, and I have terrible credit. But I'm certain that what you say is correct. I know I would make it back quickly. I have over 16,000 subs now, and I've been getting requests for one-on-one sessions for over a year. So, what do you think about doing a cheaper program first, and establishing a coaching business? I've seen a couple that looked decent for around $2000. And they were about six month long courses. Then, with the money from that coaching business, going and completing the IPEC program? I know it's not ideal, but that's really the only way I can slice it that it seems actionable. But I'm really glad that you told me about the IPEC program, because looking around for coaching programs has been like fumbling around in the dark. I'll definitely be looking into it. Thanks again! Edit: I checked out the IPEC website, and there is one in my state. Also, I saw that there were three different, three day modules that happen in person. So, you can disregard that part of the question. That's a plus, because that's really doable.

Thank you for the recommendation and the wealth of advice! Also, I'm very flattered that your impression is that I would do well with coaching. It's very encouraging to me. I know that my life's purpose is to contemplate on the nature of things, then convey them to others in order to bring them more into alignment with what's true at deeper levels than appearance. It's been a common thread through my life, even back into early childhood. And I've always gotten a lot of joy from helping others discover new things about reality, as well as to help them apply best-practices to their life that will make their lives better in some way. So, I do think that coaching will dovetail nicely with my life's purpose. But coaching would just be one extension of that. So, I also don't anticipate that it will be my MAIN thing. I also will continue to make videos, and in the future I will write books. Also, if I develop some public speaking skills, I may even eventually delve into hosting my own workshops and other group-education endeavors. I would see coaching more as one branch off of a much larger tree. That said, I would have to get my feet wet with coaching to know whether or not it's for me and does truly dovetail with my life's purpose. I know that sometimes, when the rubber meets the road, things are different than they initially seem. And because I am a pauper (not really, but kind of ), I have decided to get my feet wet with the 'one-on-one' aspect of coaching before making a big financial commitment. This is because the 'one-on-one' aspect of coaching, is the part I'm most apprehensive about because I've never done something like that professionally before, and I don't know how I'll do with it. So, because of this concern, I actually just created a new tier on my Patreon two days ago, where I basically stated my desire to go into life-coaching and my uncertainty with whether or not I should. And I was asking for guinea pigs who would want to have a session with me once a month for a few months, to see how it goes. And I'm offering it for relatively cheap since I have no training. So, I've already gotten five takers on that offer, and I'm hoping to get about ten which will give me a random sampling of people to help me get a sense for how that aspect of the job works. Now, you'll probably advise me to create a disclaimer/agreement where I make it clear that I'm not trained or certified and that I'm not liable for anything wrong that happens. I already have a sample contract that I'm in the process of tweaking to the specific circumstances. Also, I won't be doing these sessions until September, so it gives me a decent chunk of time to do some independent research into the professional best-practices when it comes to how to interact with people in a way that establishes clear boundaries and keeps the conversation productive and professional. Of course, if you have any recommendations for free resources that are on the internet, I would be over the moon about that! I do understand, however, that those resources won't be sufficient for understanding all the ins and outs of the field and that I would need a high quality program for actually learning the trade in a meaningful way. These would just be for some guidance during my guinea-pigging. Thank you again!