Emerald

@billiesimon I think beginning with seeing the label of "good" as fairly arbitrary can be a good start. Ultimately, it is one word and can't really describe a person who is multi-faceted and flawed. But if you have any of those violent images come up, it can important to understand that they aren't coming from you. Nothing in the internal experience comes from you. There is no actual "you" inside the mind that's producing images and thoughts. They are just spontaneously springing into the internal landscape. They mean as much about you as the tree in your back yard. They are just there. They are happenings. But they aren't happenings that "you" caused. So, imagine that there is a thunderstorm that's happening, and it's destroying some things and making some trees fall down. Then, there's some crazy guy who's freaking out because he believes that he's somehow causing the thunderstorm to happen. So, he's panicking because he can't figure out how to stop the thunderstorm. He finds himself completely unable to control it. Now, we see that this man is crazy to identify himself as the cause of the thunderstorm. We know that he has NOTHING to do with the thunderstorm at all. The thunderstorm is just happening, and he's perceiving it. But he makes the mistake to believe that because he's perceiving it, he's the one that's also causing it. As crazy as it seems, this is the same mistake that people make about their internal landscape. And they make that mistake because they identify with the happenings in their internal landscape and they make it mean something about themselves. So, if they perceive a thunderstorm in their external landscape, they don't make it mean anything about themselves. They just try to stay safe from it. But they don't think, "This thunderstorm means that I'm a bad person." They would recognize that as crazy. But with the internal landscape, when they perceive of destructive drives, thoughts, and urges, they fall into that trap. They think, "These internal phenomena mean that I'm a bad person." And if they can't stop it, they do their best to ignore it and create all kinds of protection mechanisms to divert their attention from what is a threat to their ego. But I would imagine that you can't necessarily see the depth of the resistance to the feminine. Most of it is probably unconscious because it would threaten your positive perception of yourself. So, look first to the most overt judgments you come across that relate back to women. Your judgments will show you what you're also judging in yourself. Then you can begin to deconstruct these beliefs by questioning their truth and validity. A lot of it will come from emptying your cup of falsehoods that you've learned from your family, your culture, and yourself.

You can increase your chances and general desirability by doing so. And you can give her a better time if you know what she's interested in romantically and sexually. But that's not really the force that's at work. It's a very particularized projection that she super-imposes onto that man based on his general vibe and way of being. So, if the attraction is organic, she will become attracted before seduction even becomes a factor. And it's based upon his particularity as a person. At least this is always how I've gotten attractions to men. At first, he's just a guy and he's neutral. Then, I think about him and I feel good while I'm thinking about him. Then, I think about him more, and it feels even better. And this eventually builds to a full-blown infatuation. And it never consciously has anything to do with one particular trait that he has or some zone of excellence that he has. It's always just the impact of his essence on me. The way he looks, the way he walks, the way he talks, all of his flaws become magnetic to me. And not because they match some high standard of attractiveness. They are magnetic to me because he is the person who he is.

The thing is that (generally speaking) women are attracted to men based on their unique essence and how they make them feel. So, they aren't really attracted to particular qualities like men are with women. At the end of the day, they aren't attracted to looks, money, confidence, skills, etc. They are attracted to a man as more than the sum of his parts, the essence of which creates a unique vibe that pushes her buttons inexplicably. And no one else can have that effect because they just aren't that person. So, at the end of the day, there's not really anything you could have done. Certainly, you can increase your chances and overall desirability in general. But with any given woman and her affections, it might amount to nothing at all. A man can be good looking, confident, have social status, wealth, and be on a path toward self-actualization; and there's still no guarantee that he will push those buttons with a particular woman. Meanwhile a guy who's less good looking, less confident, lower in social status, has less wealth, and who isn't really interested in self-actualization could press those buttons with that same woman, even if she recognizes that his objective qualities aren't "top-notch." She's not objective with her attraction. She just feels good when she thinks about him and feels good when she's around him. The chemistry is just there. So, it isn't that you didn't do something right or that you didn't act fast enough. It's just that the chemistry wasn't there for her. But when the chemistry is genuinely there for another woman, you can bet that she likes you just because you're you.

It's been a mixed bag of things. Overall, I am glad that I can do it. There's just so much potential for exploration and travel, that I don't mind that scary things happen from time to time. I have encountered negative entities before, including dopplegangers. Once, when I was living with my boyfriend in high school, I decided to take a nap while he was at work. And I woke up with sleep paralysis. So, I sat up after I snapped out of (or thought I had snapped out of) sleep paralysis. But I was actually unconsciously in an astral projection experience, which all seem very real. Then, my boyfriend came in the room to let me know that they had let him off of work early. And he sat next to me on the bed, and we were having a conversation. But as we were talking, I noticed he was acting strangely. His personality and mannerisms were different. But I brushed it off, and I decided to go back to sleep. So, laid back down and as soon as my head him the pillow, he jumped on my back and started biting my shoulder as hard as he could. And it hurt.Then, I snapped out of it and I was in the same spot, only no one was around and light was off. Then, once a few years back, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to someone unlocking the door. It was my mother. She said that she had just gotten off of work, in a very casual way. But I realized immediately this was off. My mom doesn't live with me, and she doesn't work in the middle of the night. So, as soon as I realized this, "my mother" floated sidelong into the room adjacent to where I'd fallen asleep, all the while keeping eye contact. So, I got up and walked over to the opening of the door she floated in to. At the door, was a doppleganger of my daughter who was about 3 at the time. This doppleganger wasn't scary. I almost feel like she may have been a protective force. So, I stood next to "my daughter" and looked into the room which had a couch in it. And on the couch sat a doppleganger of my mother, my father, my sister, and my husband. And they were all looking at me with deadness in their eyes and were lethargically beckoning me toward them. So, I turned around and went back to the couch, and lay back down where I had fallen asleep in the first place. I've also had invisible forces pull me out of bed. And I encountered a man made entirely out of long black braided screws. But I've also levitated and explored the inside of my house and the area around my house. I've traveled to other locations and met interesting people. So, even thought occasionally I've encountered negative entities, it's been worth it for me.

I've been having astral projection experiences since I was 13. I had a few when I was very small too, but I didn't identify them as such until much later. I just thought paranormal things were happening to me.

The first thing to do is to let go of your identification as a good person. This identification will hide many things away from yourself that you don't want to see. The internal landscape is vast and complex. It isn't all just sunshine and rainbows in there. If you look with brutal honesty, you will find a wide range of things that you'd never associate with yourself. You can even find sadistic and violent parts of yourself that you didn't know were there. The internal landscape is "well-peopled", so to speak. When I had my second experience of ego transcendence, I zoomed out from my ego identifications and noticed that I had two warring drives. I had my compassionate drive and I had my "evil" drive. And they were clashing against one another. And that evil drive was sadistic and violent and produced images in my mind of me delightedly shoving my thumbs into someone's eyes. Not because I didn't like that person. In fact, it was pretty much my favorite person in the world. It was just because my evil drive enjoyed the suffering that it brought to them in the fantasy. Now, I was even further identified with goodness at the time than you probably are now. I would get absolutely neurotic about being perceived as good and honest, to the point of obsession. So, had I been identified with my "good" ego, I would have never seen that drive in me. But in seeing it, I was able to transcend both the "good" and the "evil" drive and simply see them as the impersonal fodder of my internal landscape. Neither of them had anything to do with me. I was just the awareness taking them in. And in my distance from those two drives, I could hear a quieter more subtle voice of Divine Wisdom. And I knew that I already knew everything that I needed to know to live this life. I always had and I always would. And I simply wasn't able to perceive of the evil drive or the voice of Divine Wisdom because I was stuck in the pile of "good" thoughts, that really cared about people and assured me of my own goodness. And this is a problem because when a person is unconscious to the evil drive, it doesn't go away. It sneaks its way in, in subtle ways by disguising itself as goodness. So, in order to see your issues with your Anima clearly, you will have to see beyond your identification with goodness first. And what you find might not be pleasant or paint you in a good light. It may be like turning over a rotting log and seeing lost of nastiness that you never knew was there. But I would start by looking at your fears of how women will objectify you and what it will mean about your worth. Then (without trying to look away or see yourself as good) consider maybe you are unconsciously objectifying and viewing women's worth the same way. This can cause the Anima to project the same onto women as a whole group, so that you get a taste of what you may be doing to it. Remember, the Anima is literal a part of you, and it is literally female. So, if you judge women's worth based on objectified standards, the Anima (as a woman) will feel rejected and objectified and will exact revenge on you. And she will do this by projecting the same objectification/rejection/devaluation pattern onto women, which will make them appear to hold your worth in their hands. And she will make you feel powerless and worthless, because you've made her feel powerless and worthless. So, that's what I'd look for first. But you won't be able to see it if you can't question your own goodness. You have to be able to see yourself in unflattering lights. The identification with goodness will cause you to have a blindspot and to protect that blindspot so that you won't be able to see what's behind it. Basically you need to turn over the rotting log.

There are likely subtle and overt beliefs, thoughts, and mindsets that are designed to keep you in homeostasis. Ultimately, it comes down to identifying strongly with thoughts and believing the thoughts that come up because they are seemingly coming from you. Then, once those thoughts sweep you away, all kinds of emotions get triggered from past traumas. So, it really becomes a snowball effect, where your thought patterns keep you stuck in homeostasis, which causes negative emotions, which cause more negative thoughts, which cause more negative emotions, which cause more negative thoughts... And this continues ad infinitum, unless you can become aware both intellectually and emotionally that those thoughts are not from you and are not to be regarded as true. They are just holding patterns of the mind. So, my advice is to practice Vipassana meditation where you can gain skill with recognizing when you've become swept away by a thought and gain skill with detaching your awareness from the thought stream by resting it on a sensory experience. Eventually it will become second-nature and you won't get lost in the thought stream or tricked into believing that voice. But while you develop that skill, it is very important to get in touch with your needs, feelings, and desires. It is really common for people to repress these things when they're seeking enlightenment. So, it's good that you've noticed that. But it's important to have faith that the process is working, even if it's working slowly.

Maureen Murdoch wrote a book titled "The Heroine's Journey". I found it a lot more relevant to my life than Joseph Campbell's "Hero with a Thousand Faces." At the end of the Hero's Journey, there is the return to the motherland symbolizing the return to the feminine. So, a lot of the hero's journey is about going out into the world and overcoming obstacles and returning to the motherland (the feminine) in a more exalted state. And yes, the dragon is a symbol of the Shadow Feminine, just like Medusa, Sirens, and other feminine monsters. So, Maureen Murdoch had asked Joseph Campbell, if there was a journey that women had to take; a heroine's journey. And he basically told her that women are already in the place that the male hero is trying to get to. So, he said there is essentially no journey for women, because they're already there. But because that wasn't satisfying (and also wasn't true), she decided to write the book, "The Heroine's Journey." And reading it cleared up so many things for me. The heroine first departs from the motherland, just as the hero does. They either have to reject the good mother or the tyrannical mother. Both must be rejected. They experience the severance of that which is most similar to them (the feminine), divorcing themselves from the mother and suffering the mother wound. They then embark upon a similar journey to the male hero following the boon of success. But the difference is that there is an inversion about mid-way through the journey. When following the boon of success and facing the obstacles and gaining success, they recognize the mother wound and their dis-satisfaction, which causes them to turn inward. Then comes the descent into the Underworld. A common heroine's myth is the myth of the Goddess Inanna who must descend into the Underworld to meet her sister Ereshkigal who is the queen of the Underworld. But in order to be allowed to enter the Underworld, she must shed all of her status symbols. Then, as she descends even deeper, she must shed all of her garments. And as she descends even deeper, she must allow herself to be dismembered completely. So, esoterically speaking, this is all about the journey into the subconscious and the connection between the psyche and the Self (with a capital S). But in order to make that journey, all attachments need to be relinquished to be allowed to descend. Then, after the descent to the depths of the Underworld, there is ascension where a more exalted version of the heroine emerges. Much like a Pheonix who was weak and disintegrated into ashes, then rose even stronger from the ashes. Then, there is a return to the motherland and the feminine, which heals the mother wound. Now, heroine's journeys are not as commonly written about or depicted as hero's journeys. Like, the majority of all stories ever written are hero's journeys, because we live in a masculine-oriented society. But if I had to name a couple heroine's journeys, I think "The Wizard of Oz" is a great example of a heroine's journey, as well as "Alice in Wonderland." But the main difference between the hero's journey and the heroine's journey, is that the hero's journey is mostly about the external landscape and the heroine's journey mostly about the internal landscape. That said, every single person who wants to exalt themselves to their highest and reach their fullest potentials will have to go through both the hero's journey and the heroine's journey, many times over the course of a lifetime. But I definitely resonated more with the heroine's journey at the time that I read it. It really fit me so much better than the hero's journey, even though I had already been on a handful of different hero's journeys.

I have to say, I mostly disagree. Now, I do think that the school system should run differently, and be more focused toward well-roundedness as opposed to proficiency in the four core subjects. But having an educated populace is VERY important for a society, even if it may not seem so to those immersed in a culture with mandatory education for children. In places where children are not educated, there tends to be lots of ignorance and magical thinking. This causes many issues. For example, in a certain African country (I forget which one), there is a myth about HIV called the "Virgin Cleansing Myth." The idea is that if a man gets HIV, he can cure himself of it if he has sex with a virgin girl. So, because this is widely believed, child and teenage girls are often the targets of rape by men infected with HIV. I think the main thing is that people in educated societies get used to their privileges, get jaded, and start playing Devil's Advocate. They start to think the world would be better without the privilege that they've taken for granted. But my bet is that "Big Vocab" Johnny in the video, wouldn't like it one bit if he suddenly lost all the knowledge that he had gained from his formal education.

This isn't advisable for women. Intermittent fasting has shown positive results for men. But for women, it can actually cause Amenorrhea, hormonal imbalance, and infertility. The sources that I've read recommend that if a woman wants to do intermittent fasting that they skip a day or two in between each intermittent fasting day.

It's difficult to have a fully integrated masculine and feminine side because of society's level of awareness relative to these topics. I've been working at it for a decade, and I still have a ways to go. So, it can be easy to deceive one's self into thinking that there is no issue of Anima dis-integration, in general. It takes a considerable amount of time to be able to recognize and remove barriers to integration that most people see as neutral. It takes a while to develop discernment with regard to the internal landscape. Also, I've noticed that you're quite attached to the idea of being a good person. Every conversation that we've had has included a lot of worries about being seen in a negative light. So, it can be especially difficult for someone who identifies so strongly with goodness to actually see things about themselves that might contradict that image. And this causes blindspots in awareness, when there are things that you just don't want to see about yourself. Perhaps, underneath the desire to see yourself as a good person and be seen by others as a good person, is a subtle belief. Something like, bad people are worthless or bad people don't deserve love. Some idea that makes you react against it and cling to a "good person" self image. So, I would actually work on detaching your self image from identification with "goodness" first. This will enable you to see more of your internal world. Right now, there is probably a smaller space that your consciousness is occupying within the internal world. The problem with ego and identification is that we learn to keep our consciousness concentrated in one specific area of the internal world. So, we don't see what's going on in the other parts. But the internal world is just as big and diverse as the external world. It's infinite. I hate to bombard you with videos, but I have a few more that are very relevant to this conversation. And again, I've posted them in order of relevance.

@billiesimon There is a lot of projection going on with your relationships. And this problem probably can't be properly addressed on the level of relationships with women. That's ultimately just a symptom of a deeper cause. It probably does have something to do with your relationship to your mom. But that may just be one of many catalysts. But you'll probably find that the issue originates with your relationship to your Anima, which is much closer to you than any Earthly woman. Basically, the Anima is a Jungian archetype, that is the part of every man that is a woman. Likewise, the Animus is the part of every woman that is a man. So, there is a quite literally an aspect of yourself that is feminine. And that aspect, when dis-integrated and unconscious is like a fragmented aspect of yourself that has its own needs and desires. So, the problem that I see many men having issues with is disconnection from the Anima, which creates a disconnection with other people and insulates them from wisdom. It is only when the Anima is integrated that a person can have access to wisdom. But when a man has a dis-integrated Anima, the Anima will actively try to become reintegrated. And it does this, by projecting its image onto women as individuals and women as a whole group. So, it is very common for men who have a disintegrated Anima to project both the ideal feminine image onto all women as well as the shadow feminine. The result of this is to see women as being an incredibly powerful force that are bent on either confirming or denying your validity as a human being. Now, this is not true. Women aren't thinking about this. It's just a projection of the spurned Anima. The spurned Anima likes to torment, because it's been rejected by you. So, it wants to make you feel rejected by it. So, it sets up that dichotomy where women are conveyors of your worth as a human being if they accept you but are deniers of your worth as a human being if they reject you. So, the solution is actually to integrate the Anima. This may be difficult. Society tends to punish men for expressing anything non-masculine. This is why so many men have the issue of dis-integrated Anima and Anima possession. So, you want to start looking toward any knee-jerk reactions against things in the feminine principle, and working on letting go of those resistances. I'll leave a few videos here that may help. But if you're only going to watch one of them, watch the one on the Anima and Animus.

I don't necessarily think so. I think Green can be a very difficult jump to make for everyone because there is so much widespread demonization of Green. Probably the majority of people look down upon it. So, men and women alike might want to save face and avoid association with Green, because the society is Orange and hates Green with a vengeance. That said, there are a few boons of staying in Orange for men that women can never fully reach. Orange society is usually designed around a lot of male-centric narratives of complete optimization of the self, lovers, lifestyle, etc that are tailored to the male gender. And the best most women (and feminine oriented men) can really hope for in Orange is to identify with their non-dominant energy and climb in corporate hierarchies or embody a miniscule fraction of their dominant energy and be the attractive love interest of a powerful man. Or some Frankensteinish combo of the two. Either way, a woman (or feminine man) will have to check most (or all) of their feminine energy at the door, disallowing them from being in alignment with their dominant energy. Point being, it just doesn't give the illusion of fulfilliment in quite the same way as it would for a man in Orange. So, a woman might get bored there before a man does. Having said that, there is usually more social scorn for men moving up to Green because all the Red, Blue, and Orange people will attack their masculinity and see them as lowering themselves, even though they're actually elevating themselves. So, it can be harder for men to leave Orange and make the jump to Green, because they are self-conscious about seeming like a woman or lowering their status to women's level within Orange society. So, women who are seeking to move from Orange to Green won't get as much flack for it, as long as we do it without rocking the boat too much or looking 'ugly' while we do it or being outspoken about political stances. But I don't really think having an easier time moving to Green is something inherent to men and women. If there is some inherent difference, I'm sure that it's a lot more subtle than society lets on. It almost always is. I relate it more to social pressures and society being a bunch of crabs in the bucket when it comes to progress.

The way to do this is to gain skills with being able to function in the opposite way. That way, you'll be more well-rounded. So, you'd be trying to develop skills in the areas of ESTJ. Now, I'm not saying that you should forget your natural way of being as an INFP. But gaining skills in ESTJ will help you function better. So, be able to function like an extrovert when you need to. Develop skills with sensing and focus more toward the perceivable world instead of relying only on intuition and internal phenomena. Develop your intellect so that you can understand your feelings better, as well as other things. And probably most important, develop the ability to judge, limit, and create rules and boundaries. The reason why the 'J' is so important is because people have a hard time functioning without being able to create a clear context. 'J' is like being able to set down a solid structure for yourself to be successful in and determine that you've actually been successful by your own definition. Without boundaries, rules, and limitations, there is no ability to create friction and traction within the world. So, your goals won't be able to come to fruition because you won't be able to create the requisite amount of meaning needed for sustained focus on a particular desired outcome. And if you want success, you have to define what it means using judgment. So, use the 'J' to create context, rules, meaning, and boundaries for yourself. It's probably the main reason why you're having difficulties as an INFP. I'm an INFJ (borderline INFP), and when I function more like an INFP I am a lot less able to execute on things. I'm likely to get lost in the idea world and be unable to bring it forth into reality.

Unfortunately, there is no way to lose weight from one particular area of the body. Fat cells are different than most other types of cells, because they shrink and grow. So, when you lose weight, you don't actually lose any fat cells. They just shrink. So, the only way to lose weight from a particular area is plastic surgery.

Well, there will sometimes be a need to create meaning for practical functioning. For example, if you're reading a book, you will still need to be able to translate the squiggles on the page into words. And you will still need to be able to function as an individual self in the world, just like everyone else. The mind and its meaning-making functions exist for these practical functions. But there will be no need to apply the intellect's tools of meaning, purpose, value, worth, etc. to existential concerns of the self and of reality itself. You will be okay with things just being as they are without needing to define their significance or contextualize it in a greater and more valuable system. Basically, you will see meaning for what it is... just a tool for the human mind to use for certain functions in life.

Thank you.

Activism is useful for advancing society. It is part of what makes us move up on the spiral as a whole species. That said, activism has its limits and can often lead to unintended consequences. But even those unintended consequences are a valid aspect of human evolution. It's how the whole system unfolds.

I think that anything past Turquoise, is just grasping at straws a bit. I feel like the model is getting a bit theoretical and trying to map things that don't really exist yet. I can notice and accept everything up to stage Turquoise. But Coral and beyond just seem a bit extra.

@CreamCat What is it that you want to do business-wise?

When I had my experiences beyond the ego (which both lasted a few hours a piece), I didn't need any meaning. I just did things because a deep sense of knowing was guiding me. And I could do things for the pure enjoyment of just existing. There was no need to process the meaning of things through the ego to derive motivation. Motivation came from a deeper place. So, if my experiences are any indicator of what enlightenment is like, there won't be any "point" in doing anything. You will transcend the need for "points", meaning, value, worth, significance, and utilitarian context... and truly context of any kind. These empty words were just the measuring sticks of the ego, which are designed to define the world only through what the mind can understand, quantify, measure, and contextualize in some greater more meaningful system. But in that state, there exist NO greater more meaningful system to contextualize value/worth/significance/meaning/etc. It simply is what there is. So, for those who aren't beyond ego, they freak out because all they know is their measuring tools and how to determine the value of things through contextualization and relativity within their world. But in that state, all contexts drop away as does all ability to buy into falsehoods like having a "point". And they lose the ability to buy into falsehoods like the flip side of belief in a "point", which would be a belief in "pointlessness". But neither "point" nor "pointlessness" actually exist. Neither "worth" nor "worthlessness". These are just the measuring tools of the human mind that cannot fathom of the depth of validity and being-ness that is their own existence.

I've experienced ego transcendence, and I can't think of any cons to being that way... other than "losing it" and not knowing how to function thereafter. And knowing what you're missing out on because you've truly tasted freedom. That's the part that sucks. Being in a prison where you realize that you're in a prison because you once found a way out. And knowing that the key is right in front of you but you just can't see it. From your post, in accordance with my (limited) experiences of being beyond ego, it seems like you take the "losing your life" thing to mean something that it doesn't. When I lost "Emerald", it wasn't like reality actually changed. It was all the same, but I was 10,000 times more 'there.' Not only was I in life, I was connected with life itself. The main thing that happened, was that I was just freed from the chains of believing in an "Emerald" that didn't exist. So, I didn't have to act like an "Emerald", and I didn't have to preserve an "Emerald." I didn't need to do the bidding of "Emerald." "Emerald" was just an idea floating around in my head, and had never actually existed. "Emerald" was just an idea that I came up with, and it was a really heavy burden to carry around. I had built a prison out of "Emerald." After I let go of "Emerald", I could just be. And that was more than enough. I didn't need to be enslaved to ideas like "Emerald" that never had anything to do with anything. I was already unshakably valid; always had been and always would be. And I was more fully embodied than I had been in my entire life. So, the only thing that ego transcendence makes you lose is something that was never there to begin with. But this "nothing" is a really heavy "nothing" that we feel like we need to protect at all costs. But it's literally nothing. You lose NOTHING when you transcend the ego. But in losing that "nothing", you set down that heavy invisible burden and become receptive to experiencing what you actually are.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

Generally speaking, it isn't rude by itself. It just matters what you say, how you say it, when you say it, and the vibe you give off. So, there are some contexts when it could be rude. As a woman, there are a few contexts that I don't liked to be approached under. I'll give the main ones and the reason why they're uncomfortable situations and how to avoid them. 1. If I'm in the middle of trying to accomplish something in a focused way - Think about when you're walking through the mall and one of the sale's people at the mall tries to get your attention to talk to you about their product. But you really just wanted to do your own thing. Then, you have to have this weird conversation and be nice to that person. All the while, you just want to be on your way to do the thing that you ACTUALLY wanted to do. That's what it feels like when a guy approaches you when you're in the middle of something. It's frustrating to be interrupted. And she will probably associate you, from the get-go, with the feeling of being annoyed. So, to avoid this, I recommend looking for body language cues. If you see a woman walking briskly in a focused way, she is probably going to a specific place to get something done. So, it's a bad idea to stop her in her tracks just to talk to her. But if you see a woman who is just hanging out and not particularly focused on something, you can try to spark up a conversation. 2. If I'm in a huge crowd of people by myself (unless it's a club or concert something like that) - Women who are by themselves in a crowded place are often bombarded by guys trying to approach them. Now, one guy approaching isn't annoying by itself, as long as he's respectful and positive. But the high frequency of men approaching can be quite annoying. For example, if you've ever played the Gameboy Pokemon game, you walk through the tall grass hoping that a Pokemon won't pop up on you. But then it does, and you're like "UGH! Not again!" So, to avoid this, don't approach women on busy pedestrian streets where she's probably already gotten six approaches that day from random guys. Use some social acuity, and ask yourself "How likely is it that she's already been approached a ton of times already today?" Now, you can still spark up a conversation if the situation is appropriate and natural, but keep it platonic at first. Women appreciate slow courtship and wondering "Is he interested or not?". So, she will appreciate you opening with normal banter. 3. If I'm all alone (especially a night) and the only other person around is the man that's trying to talk to me- This one is pretty self-explanatory. She'll probably be scared because she knows she's vulnerable in that situation. So, making a point to not interact, will be appreciated. I used to have to walk home alone in the middle of the night back when I was in college. So, I did a lot of late night lonely walking. And I've had men try to follow me home and all kinds of other vaguely threatening situations. Then, one night, I was walking alone on a dark road and there was a man behind me about twenty feet back. So, I was afraid of what might occur, and I looked back at him. Then, he said, "Sorry" and averted his eyes. And I immediately felt so much more comfortable because I could tell that he was aware of how I might feel in the situation. Now, I didn't bring him home with me or anything. So, don't think I'm saying that. But exercise that same kind of awareness of the incongruence of the situation. It will be appreciated. You're a man and are most likely stronger than the woman you'd be approaching. And she will be acutely aware of that, and start running through "What if"s in here mind. So, if you're in a situation like that, be considerate of her vulnerability and approach another time. 4. If I'm trying to talk to other people- No one likes to be interrupted or have someone intrude on a conversation or change the subject. So, if a woman is deeply engrossed in a conversation with someone else, don't try to squeeze in there. Just wait until she is done talking to them. Read the body language in the situation. If she looks disengaged you can approach, but if she is listening or talking to another person, then wait. Plus, it opens all kinds of doors for you to be awkward. It will make you look needy and like a third wheel. So, instead, try sparking up a conversation when she's disengaged from other people conversation-wise.