Emerald

Thank you! The heart and feather comment was in reference to the Ancient Egyptian fable called "The Weighing of the Heart." Basically, in order to pass into the afterlife, everyone had to come to the hall of judgment to have their hearts weighed. If their heart was lighter than a feather, they were allowed to pass into the afterlife. But if it was any heavier than a feather, they could not pass into the afterlife. Now, I took it out of the context of being about dying and the afterlife, because I think there's another meaning that relates to enlightenment. So, I see it as being, 'If you want to return to the source of your being (God), you must love everything perfectly and unconditionally.' But as for your questions about judgments arising, as long as you are identified with ego you will have judgments arise. They are an inevitability. The best thing you can do is to understand that they don't come from "you". They psyche thinks without an operator making it think this or that. So, it's not your fault that judgments come up. You can't stop it by force. That would just be repressing judgment. But mind-bogglingly, if you try to suppress the judgments then you are also being invalidating of the judgments coming up, which are just as much a part of God. So, if you don't have perfect love for the judgments, your heart will be heavier than a feather and you will not pass. You'll just have your judgments and your judgments of the judgments at war with each other in your mind. So, accept that you have judgments and watch them mindfully and with detachment. The judgments mean nothing at all. They are ultimately just sounds in your head. But don't try to sugar-coat it to make yourself look better to yourself. Find the ugly and nasty in you and accept it is part of your internal landscape. Trust me, there are things in every single person's psyche that are WAY darker than petty judgments. So, start with the petty judgments, and see where they lead you. And if you have judgments about the people having fun at Lollapalooza, figure out exactly what those judgments are. Then, think about how you would feel about yourself if you engaged in the same type of behavior. Would you feel shame and embarrassment to be seen the same way as you see them? Would you imagine there is another guy out there (like you) that's out there looking down upon you for your enjoyments? Or do you imagine the more than one person would judge you in this way? Or everyone? What would it do to your self-image if you went to Lollapalooza and enjoyed yourself there in the same way? Would you deny that you got anything from it to protect the self-image? Would you feel like you needed to hide this enjoyment from yourself to preserve the ideas that you hold true about yourself? In creating these judgments, does it help you feel safer from being invalidated by giving you a clear idea of what it is to be invalidated and validated? Do you feel tightness in your chest and stomach and heat in your face and neck, when you imagine being seen that way?

It's funny. My kids and I have been sick since the lunar eclipse. I'm sure that's just coincidence though.

“Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God.” What has happened is that over the years, you've grown more and more restricted and cut off by your ideas about who you are and the way things work. Imagine that there is a light (the light of innocence), and that light never goes out. But as you grow older more and more thoughts, ideas, and beliefs get caked up on top of that light. And sometimes if it's really bad, you won't be able to see the light at all. Now, it's always there. It always will be there. But it's going to take either ego transcendence or extensive practice with reintegration (shadow work, contemplation, meditation). But sexual feelings are intense. And they are the closest thing to ecstasy that we can experience from any degree of light blockage. So, it's not a wonder that the only thing you care about now is sex. But in seeking sex, what you are really seeking is to have a connection with being and to live as your full self, and to have the light of innocence become conscious once more.

@RendHeaven I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you already know everything you need to know, and that you aren't actually looking for advice. It's all been one big lie!!!! Consider that perhaps this post is just another ploy to get a sense of validation. Like, "Look how aware I am of my shortcomings. That makes me the good one... right?" What you really want is to feel valid, because you don't feel valid at all. You need to look for qualifiers of your validity in the external world. So, you judge others in order to create a standard to deem yourself important by, which necessitates deeming others as less important and less valid. It is only in your ability to create these arbitrary standards of good/bad and worthy/unworthy, that you can attempt to measure up and convince yourself for even a moment of time that you're worthy of being. But in creating these arbitrary standards, your judgments are cutting the floor of consciousness out from under you. You're closing up more and more, because you don't want to act like those unwise peasants out enjoying the plebeian delights of Lollapalooza. You seek to "other" yourself from them. This creates a split in consciousness every time you do this. Because everything is you. If you judge any aspect of that "you" as invalid, it is relegated to unconsciousness. And enlightenment NECESSITATES perfect love. If your heart is heavier than a feather, you will not pass. And enlightenment is also the only way to truly recognize your unshakable validity. I recommend continuing to discover the inescapability of the need for validation, and the necessary world view and judgments that you have set up to create a system for it.

@Florian Clearly that idea falls apart under scrutiny. Women live for many decades past their ability to have children. And many post-menopausal women are pursuing their life purposes, because their children have all left the nest and they have the energy to put toward nurturing the world. There is much more to having a life's purpose that extends far beyond the biological impetus toward reproduction. The lenses of reductionism and scientism have simply boiled everything down to the urge toward survival and reproduction. But this is just reductionism and doesn't reflect the true nature of what's going on here. So, don't paint your thinking about your life purpose into the idea of competing for a mate. Your mind and heart will edit out so much, that you will suffer even in following your life's purpose.

When I experienced ego transcendence, there was a sense that I could access any bit of wisdom that I could ever want. It was the sense that I knew everything, had always known everything, and would always know everything. There was also a complete cessation of seeking and wanting. In my life, prior to that, I was always trying to stuff myself full of knowledge. And I wanted to know as much about things as I possibly could. But when I transcended the ego, I didn't need to do that anymore. I was already complete. And in fact, I realized that in seeking all that intellectual knowledge, what I was really looking for was to be free from ego and centered in the Truth. And I had to laugh a bit at how I'd never realized that in all my seeking and questioning, I was looking for just to be as I always had been but had forgotten. But I don't necessarily think that the cessation of questioning/seeking behaviors came from the fact that I knew everything. I related it more to the self-love I had, and knowing that I was adequate as I was. I didn't need to shove myself full of knowledge. I could just be. Also, despite the fact that I had total and complete access to Divine Wisdom, I didn't feel the need to hoard insights or explore that wisdom. Doing so, would amount to nothing more than a parlor trick. And I didn't need parlor tricks like the ability to access Divine insights in front of others to make myself valid. I was already valid. So, the cessation of questioning comes from being completely okay with being.

@ChimpBrain The thing that jumps to my mind right now is that perhaps you have an issue with the root chakra, that is then affecting the sacral chakra above it. The root chakra has everything to do with life's most basic needs: your survival and the survival of your family. The sacral chakra has everything to do with pleasure and sexuality. Perhaps, when you were jettisoned into fatherhood unexpectedly, you knew that a huge change had to happen in a very short time. So, you may have started "straining" your root chakra to get by. And now that's the mode that you're stuck in and the root chakra is jammed into overdrive. Then, because it's where the Kundalini resides, you're also not getting proper energy upwards toward the sacral chakra and the others as well. Now, this is just a thought. But it seems to fit pretty well. Perhaps try some grounding exercises where you can assure yourself of your own safety and security to live and to exist here.

Self-Love is what is there when you let go of Self-Hatred. It's knowing that you're valid regardless of what you do or don't do, and not feeling like you're inadequate in some way.

@SFRL I watched one like that years ago with some old man talking about the craziness and hotness scale . And I was like, well that was a complete waste of time with no laughs. So, I haven't clicked on another one since, because it's just going to be someone copying that old guy and probably being even less funny.

@SFRL I never watch any of these types of videos. They're not useful to me.

I've seen you posting on here about why women won't date you... maybe this is why...

@Viking I recommend not putting any prohibitions on yourself in regard to whether you have a relationship or not, considering the fact that you haven't had any experience with dating. Over-planning can drive you back into your head fretting about the uncertainties of the future and keeping yourself stunted in this facet of life. You're thinking too far ahead and deciding to bypass something that may be important to you in ways that you may not know, and you may end up shooting yourself in the foot and regretting it later. What you need is spontaneity and to no second-guess yourself too much. And if you meet a girl that you want to have a relationship with, just play it by ear. You'll know what's right if and when you're in the situation. You can't possibly know what's right from the vantage point that you're at. It's all in abstract now for you because you haven't had any real experience. Experience something concrete and you can make your decision then.

@Pluck I recommend questioning why it is that you feel the desire to post what you posted. Do you want to be the one who is the savior to all of us 'gullibles' who saves us from Leo and our own stupidity, thus asserting yourself as the best one among us because of your superior intellect and ability to see through the bullshit while we sheeple have the wool pulled over their eyes? Would that make you feel significant where perhaps you don't currently? Or do you just have a lot of anger that you don't know where to place, so you decide to direct it toward whatever happens to bother you and now Leo is on the chopping block? And then you think, I must ruin that person to show that I have power? Would that make you feel less powerless? Or does what Leo says, contradict the teachings of someone that you have come to idolize? And you attack him because you see him as a threat to your idol? Would that remove the negative feelings of cognitive dissonance when examining your worldview? Or do you just need something to distract yourself from the emptiness of life because you are afraid. And if you stopped thinking and criticizing a sense of fear and dis-satisfaction may creep up on you? Would that make you feel more okay? But one reason that I know you didn't write the comment is because you are genuinely concerned about the people on this forum. If you are honest with yourself, you will see that you don't care about us at all. If you really cared about people, you would pick a more effective way to help people and go after targets that pose more of a threat.

I have been having trouble sleeping the past several days, which is rare for me. It was like I was just energized and couldn't turn it off. Then, I read about that eclipse and I was like, "hmmm..."

If he still thinks the same way, he believes the same about women too and that society has suppressed this fact. He's very pro-polyamory in general and thinks of monogamy as an attachment. So, it sounded like he might have been using a double standard. But if he still thinks the same way, I don't think he is.

I recommend NOT avoiding the thoughts and emotions related to men. So, if you feel afraid that you might be bi-sexual just let the feelings hit you. Your dad might judge you, but you don't have to judge yourself. Just let yourself experience whatever is trying to happen.

You're mixing together judgment and discernment. Judgment is attached and wants to invalidate and demonize your manager for being manipulative and brainwashing people. But discernment is detached and will just tell you that she's being manipulative and trying to brainwash the employees. If it's a fact, it's a fact. That's calling a spade a space. Calling her the manipulative manager bitch and hating on her and invalidating her existence, shows that you are perceiving things with the distortion of attachment to the way things SHOULD be. So, your judgment will keep you from perceiving what's true. This is why judgment creates a barrier to Truth. But it is fine to recognize what she's doing as something you don't want to be involved with. This is necessary for being able to make decisions. But you don't need to demonize her to make better decisions.

The key here is to distinguish between judgment and discernment. Judging is not necessary, but discernment DEFINITELY is. Judgement is all about determining the validity of something. And because everything is valid, it only gets in the way. So, when we condemn something or say that something shouldn't exist, we are judging. But with discernment, we are just trying to call a spade a spade in a way that the human intellect can grasp and that can be communicated to others. This is very important to be able to be able to call a spade a spade for practical functioning, otherwise we leave ourselves open to making bad decisions.

There have been times when this was an apt analogy for what the anticipation lead to...

You're welcome. But I have to be honest when I say, (generally speaking) that 'straight to the point' stuff is really boring and unsatisfying for women. Chances are, you're going to put your lady to sleep because you're not giving her any intellectual stimulation and you're not really optimally emotionally stimulating her either. Women don't get aroused with their body until their minds and emotions are stimulated. But the way that intellectual/emotional stimulation happens is to guess what's going on in the mind of the guy she's attracted to and how he thinks and feels about her. That's why a good sign that a woman likes you is if she asks what you're thinking about. So, by employing a bit of mystery and ambiguity, she will appreciate that a lot more because she gets to figure you out and pick up on your intentions in a subtle way. So, a man saying "I like getting straight to the point", is the equivalent of a woman saying "I like to skip the sex and go straight to the cuddling." And if you're nice (like most women in these matters), you'll just kind of go along with it and do what she likes. Plus, even if she did tell you that's what she wants, it would ruin the mystery by default. So, she's really hoping that you will just get it. And she will NEVER tell you this is what she wants because telling your ruins the guessing game and the tension and anticipation it creates.

That's a pretty good analogy. Like I said it's all about context and anticipation.

For me, context and anticipation matter a ton. So, if I know that a guy likes me right off the bat and it's obvious right away, it takes all the tension away. And I need tension to build up strong emotion towards him, which is necessary for me to want to be with him romantically. And if he comes off as interested right away, I don't get to wonder and fantasize about that moment when the tension of not knowing his feelings or intentions gives way to intimacy. Plus, if a guy leads right away with his sexuality and interest in me, it makes me feel like he's not very selective with his mates and (perhaps) that he doesn't have very good self control. And because feeling like he wants me in particular is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs, if I feel like he's approaching a lot of girls just like he approached me it just takes all the fun out of it because it takes the specialness out of it. So, it's all about tension, anticipation, and mystery and wondering if I've gotten into his head like he has mine. And I would imagine that most women are similar.

But we're not talking about subjective opinions here or what type of tea you like. We're talking about what you OBJECTIVELY know and don't know about reality. So this very statement illuminates the truth in what I said before. You've basically just said in your statement that you take the 'realness' of your interpretations on faith, without any proof because you don't know anything. And you know what, that the first thing you've said that's absolutely true and honest. That's what human beings have to do in order to function in this reality that they literally know nothing about. They have to create a premise based upon their past experiences and things they've learned in this reality. They have to exercise faith that when they're walking that the floor won't disappear underneath them. And they'd do well to practice a relative belief in science as a perspective and tool for practical functioning. But when you're grounding yourself in what's true, these faith-based beliefs (including the beliefs that science works and that the floor won't disappear underneath you) have to be recognized for what they are. They are only beliefs based upon what you've noticed in the past and learned to be true. But the past doesn't exist. It may have never even existed. All you have of reality is the present moment, which is a non-point. And everything you've ever experienced may have simply been an illusion. And you'll NEVER know. Edit: I won't be able to come back to this for a while because I have to film a video. But I'd be happy to see what you have to say.

Why does reasoning come after? Is that a belief? And how can you be so sure you know it's true, when you don't even know why you think that?