Emerald

Well, most of my issues are issues of identity and extend far beyond the realm of romance and dating, which is something that I don't feel like a lot of men grasp because it's such a uniquely female issue. Most men tend to think of these sexual issues as being only sexual. But these are not just bedroom worries. These are feelings that I carry with me everywhere and they pepper my relationship to myself and where I believe my personal value lies and what my purpose is. And it becomes all the clearer as I get further and further removed from my maiden's phase. It's a feeling like I exist only for the pleasure of another and if I can't be that then I'm nothing. So, I've internalized this idea that I'm only entitled to desire and existence itself if I am even more desired back. But in regard to a situation where I really like a guy, I choose not to ask him out because the stakes are too high. I only like one guy at a time and those attractions tend to last about 6 months or more and they're really intense. So, if I ask him out and get a "no", then I (number one) will feel like I'm no longer entitled to my feelings of attraction because they aren't reciprocated, and (number two) I'd have to wait six months or more before I stumble into another attraction. So, men are not interchangeable for me in the way that women are interchangeable for men in the initial stages of attraction. So, I don't approach for fear of rejection and the implications of that. Also, there are a lot of situations that I've gotten into when I was very new to dating and romance that I really got hurt in sharing my feelings or being "too forward" which is a consideration that women always have to contend with... or face the unsavory consequences. A lot of men will hate you for everything they love you for. They want you to be easy and sexual, but they'll hate you when they're done with you. Once, when I was in the eighth grade, I really liked this kid named Nathan and we were always flirting in class and I thought he liked me back. And at the time, I thought men and women got attractions in the same way. So, I thought his feelings toward me were mutual. And he asked me if I wanted to ask at around the same time to get a hall pass from the teacher and meet him somewhere to make out for a few minutes. And I excitedly agreed as it seemed like a confirmation that he really liked me like I liked him... because why else would he want to kiss me if he didn't. But it turned out that it was just a joke, and he then used that as an opportunity to make fun of me and slut shame me. And he involved several of his friends in on the joke that was intended only to embarrass me. Also, the same year, I was asked out by a boy named Robert, and I was so happy to be going out with him and that he liked me back. But my friend Joe, overheard him in class talking about how gross and slutty I am and that he actually hates me but wanted to get with me because I was easy. Now, I poured chocolate milk on Joe's head in the lunchroom when he told me because I didn't believe him because I didn't want to believe him. So, I definitely shot the messenger on that one. And when I was in the ninth grade, I was no longer so eager to get a boyfriend because I'd kind of learned my lesson about that. But I was still very flirtatious in demeanor as this is (was) my natural way. So, a lot of guys in my friend group would take that as an invitation to touch me inappropriately and go over my boundaries. We were a bunch of weird alternative kids and we always celebrated Wednesdays as "hump" day, where we'd just go up to eachother in the spirit of good fun and start humping one another and we also hugged a lot. But quite a few guys would violate the etiquette of hump day and make it genuinely sexual when it was not actually meant to be. And one guy in particular would violate the etiquette of the hugs and would make the hug with me in particular, too long and would caress my back with his fingers, so that ever time I hugged him I would feel very violated. And then a lot of girls would be very mean to me and slut shame me because I hung out with a lot of guys despite the fact that I was actually quite reserved in terms of actually dating anyone. And this is not even to mention, the type of attention I would get from full grown adult men... which was very uncomfortable. The fact of the matter is that being a woman, your sexuality from puberty onward has been commodified and appraised. Your sexuality is a high dollar item. And much of society sees that it is merely a commodity to be used up by men, who are the assumed subjects of the transaction where you are the thing being transacted. So, there is a lot of wounding a baggage around owning your own sexuality as a woman. It's like taking a swim in lemon juice when you have a bunch of wounds on you. So, the experience of being a woman is quite schizophrenic relative to your own sexuality, as there is no space for you to really hold your sexual feelings and be accepted... except perhaps in more progressive circles. Men want you to be forward, and then hate you for being forward. Other women will be jealous as well and hate you for simply being women. The media sends all kinds of messages (especially back when I was coming up) that the world loves an openly sexy and sexual woman, and as a child dreaming of growing up and growing breasts and being appreciated in the same way. And then, when getting to that age, realizing that society loves you for that and wants you to be only that... but also, if you become that, you become a laughing stock and the butt of a joke. So, I learned around age 15, to put on a facade of non-sexuality and the facade works well to keep out unwanted attention. And I still keep it, because I don't want anyone over my boundaries. And it's kept in place by the memory of many traumas incurred along the way. But it keeps away what is genuine and open, and impedes my ability to feel like it's okay to have my own desires as I've internalized since birth the idea that I am object and not subject. And that if I take my sexuality as a subject and go toward what I would want more freely, there is punishment awaiting. So, it is not as simple as that. Men can freely be sexual and own their sexuality. There is no shame in having sexual feelings as a man because hyper sexuality is expected and even desired. But a woman will be judged harshly for her sexuality and slut shamed if she is perceived as too forward. And it can lead to a lot of unsavory experiences. So, most women learn to suppress and to just be a lady in waiting and do our best to work around the invisible barriers that men don't see. But what I love is when I'm attracted to a man who doesn't have any of this baggage and doesn't project onto my images of succubi when I like him. And in these cases, things flow naturally and I can actually let go of those cares. And I get a really clear sense for who is afflicted and who is unafflicted.

I have a bit of an issue with Pop Feminism because it's really just selling their product and using the Feminist narratives of the day to do so... and usually in a transparent way. So, I'm sure that Gillette doesn't genuinely care about these issues as a whole company. A bunch of people just sat around at a board meeting and went, "How can we sell more sh*t to people." Then someone on the board was like... "How about a Feminist angle..." It's the same with the Ghostbusters movie that came out a few years ago. I'm sure they were all sitting around a board meeting like... "Okay. The script is mediocre and sequels are usually bad, so not a lot of people see them. Plus, you're going to have long time fans that will be hyper critical about the movie no matter what. So... how do we suck the most money out of people when we damn sure don't have a good enough movie to get the advertisement of word of mouth. HOLD THE PHONE! I know. I know. I found the gimmick... It's Ghostbusters... only with women. Female Ghostbusters are the perfect gimmick to get people focused on our movie. Anyone remotely Feminist will feel obligated to see and report favorably on our movie. Then, anyone who's a misogynist will be so busy complaining about the movie that they won't notice the TONS of free publicity they'll be giving us. And since there are so many normies who don't want to seem misogynistic, we'll get people coming into the theatre to avoid looking like those complaining internet misogynists." That said, if you want to change some societal structures and question commonly accepted and ingrained ideas about manhood, you have to water it down to get to the masses. So, I do see that Pop Feminism has its place in popular culture. I prefer it to be there rather than it not to be there. And I'm glad these issues are in the limelight, since there are many stones still unturned. But it is also pretty cringey, and it gets on my nerves to. Especially since it doesn't really give anything revelatory to anyone which is where the real growth is at.

On the existential level, there is no such thing as "owing". It's not actually real... it's just thoughts. "Owing" is a human concept that was made up for the practical purposes of value exchange within a human society. Similarly, there is no such thing as value, as this is also just a human concept created for the practical purpose of value exchange and decision making within a human society. But even though "owing" is just a concept, it is an integral tool to the workings of certain human systems to be able to function properly. And there is a difference between functionality and dysfunctionality as well as healthy and unhealthy. Just like a car needs certain parts and components relating together in very specific ways to function and drive from a to be, a human society also needs certain parts and components relating together in very specific ways to function well in a way that's healthy for the inhabitants and is conducive to the harmonious workings within that society. So, if you want a society to function well and you want to be part of a well-functioning society that runs harmoniously and smoothly (which by nature, you do), then ideas like "I don't owe anyone anything." is a very dangerous idea if taken on by the majority of people. This would lead to a society where everyone struggles on their own, no one helps anyone, and everyones only in it for themselves. So, it is inherently healthy on the practical level of human societies for people to live in a harmonious and functional way, where there is a sense of community and everyone having everyone's best interests at heart and receiving the same in exchange. And this is a kind of value exchange. The more you give, the more you receive. The less you give, the less you receive. So, if a society collectively takes on the idea that "the world doesn't owe you anything." and takes that idea very seriously and buys heavily into the illusion of owing being real, then it will be a very hard, cold, and cruel society to live in that is not conducive to human health and well-being. So, it becomes a less functional society that's cut-throat and hostile, where no one is getting their needs met. And social decay and human suffering will abound. But on the ultimate level, there is nothing invalid about social decay or human suffering. There is no value or lack-thereof, so you can't say that it's ultimately wrong that it exists. But if you are a human being who values health, well-being, and harmony (which you instinctually do), then you're going to want to be engaged in a society that has a social contract of mutual value exchange being freely given in at least the most basic of human decencies. So, always ask yourself whenever you want to adopt a new belief or M.O.... "If everyone believed this and behaved in this way, would this society still be functional, harmonious, and conducive to health and well-being?" And from there it becomes very simple to know which ways of thinking are harmful to societal functionality and well-being.

No. You misinterpreted the entire thing.

I was a really romantically precocious kid before any of my male peers were. So, from the age of three onward, I would have a lot of attractions that were never reciprocated. And I thought it was because I was ugly and that no guy would ever like me in my entire life. And I had this idea looming in the background until I turned 12 and started to get male attention. But prior to that, I was so desperate for male attention that I wished that I would be looked upon sexually as my topmost desire. And it would have been the greatest fantasy for me if I had a lot of guys seeing me as attractive and focusing toward me in a sexual way. That was the material of fantasy as I thought that I would never have a boyfriend. Then, when I was 12 I got my wish. And it was the gift that kept on giving and giving and giving and giving. I got a lot of male attention from that point onward... from peers and sometimes full grown men. To give an analogy, it was like being starved for the first 12 years of my life, and then finally being fed. And I felt a great relief that I was finally not starving anymore. But then the food kept coming and coming and coming to the point of forcefeeding: forcefeeding by peers and adults alike. And I was fed so much that I would puke everywhere but then still have more food being shoved in my mouth. And there were times. And I just wanted it to stop. But then sometimes I'd get genuinely hungry but wouldn't want to eat because of the trauma of forcefeeding. And then everything shouted at me... "Don't run from it, your purpose in life is to be fed. That's your value in this world." And this, of course, would give a person a really complicated relationship to their own natural hunger because they now relate it only to forcefeeding and the discomforts of being lambasted with food wherever they go. So, understand that you feel this way because you're lacking in sexual attention. You can't understand why sexual objectification is harmful because, to you, the idea of being sexually objectified is desirable. And that's because it's just an abstract idea for you. It's pure fantasy to you. But the reality of the matter is much darker, insidious, and more complicated. And it cuts you off from your natural sexual desires because you being to feel like an object and that your sexuality belongs to others and not to yourself. You, the object, are not meant to receive pleasure... only to be a means to pleasure for the other person who is the subject of the sex act. You have no idea what it is to be sexually objectified to your core, and have that idea so deeply driven into you that it puts you in this antagonistic relationship with your sexual instincts. You can still go full force toward your sexual desires in an a to b fashion, because there is a barrier there other than space. You're allowed to have them because your view of yourself is as a subject. But if I did that, then I would end up in a lot of unsavory/pleasant (can't discern which because I'm conflicted) situations that would draw up feelings of objectification and worthlessness in me. There feels literally like there's no outlet to own your sexual desires when you've had your status as object driven into you. So, this is why objectification is harmful and why you don't see it as such because of your innocence to it.

When I first started my channel, I got a lot more antagonistic people on there. Even more troubling, my 29th subscriber (I know because I celebrated every time I got a new one) that I ever got became obsessed with me for a few weeks and was creating all these disturbing videos where he would use like a weird voice and take a screenshot of my picture and would say all these creepy things. And that was when I had my channel running for less than a month. So, it was trial by fire and I felt very vulnerable about putting myself out there because I was opening myself up to other's baggage and projections. But once I got up past 1000 subs, things really shifted around. Now, at nearly 20k subs, I have mostly pleasant interactions with only a few trolls sprinkled in here and there. And they create a more pleasant culture on my comments sections that becomes difficult for negativity to get real traction within. And since I have a lot of viewers that enjoy me as a person sharing the content that I do, there's a clear slant in my favor. So, if someone comes around being negative, then it's the exception not the rule, and they have to contend with being in the minority and getting criticism coming at them from my subscribers. So, that probably discourages most trolls, and the ones who try are usually the easiest to spot and either ignore or shut down. So, I recommend continuing to press on and eventually things will shift in your favor. And mostly just don't respond to the trolls. Not responding will be best in 99% of situations, because you won't be giving them what they want... which is to see that they're having an effect on you. If they realize that they can't get to you, they'll move on. That said, if you see an easy opportunity to make them look foolish by using their own shenanigans against them, then you can do that too. For example, I remember one time (before I started my channel), that I was commenting on a YouTube video, and someone came along criticizing what I had said and making fun of a spelling or grammar error that I had made. So, I just owned it. Like, "Yeah. I did make that error. I'm a human being and I make mistakes sometimes. Why do you care so much about my typos? If you have an issue with the substance of what I said, address that and we can discuss it. But going for a grammar error just makes it seem that you don't have ground to stand on with your viewpoints, so it seems you're grasping at straws and looking for any way to paint me in a negative light to disprove me. Now if you have a critique on the substance of what I said, we can have a reasonable debate, but if not, don't waste my time." And afterward, he really changed his tune. And if you do this the right way, your viewers will recognize that you have boundaries and the trolls know that they'll get put in their place if they try you. So, you can check 'em from time to time if you have a way to do it where you still seem unafflicted and in the favorable position. Another example, of when I thought it was appropriate to check someone was a few weeks ago on comment made on my Anima/Animus video. And it's a 30 minute long video where I'm talking a lot about masculinity and femininity and the psychological integration of the feminine Anima in a man and/or the masculine Animus in a woman. It's a theory in Jungian psychology. So, for about 45 seconds of the video, I mentioned that this may work differently for members of the LGBT community or gender non-conforming people, so that if someone like that comes to the video, they can still benefit from knowing about the theory and how it benefits them. And I didn't mention this again in the video and just went into the theory after a short blurb about that. But this guy comes on, and he's all like "OMG! (barfing emoji) All this is is leftist propaganda and everything in the video is politicized and cliché. This is disgusting how she's trying to indoctrinate everyone with "Post-modern NeoMarxism. Do yourselves a favor and don't even watch this bullshit." So, I just explained to him that that information wasn't propaganda. And that it was actually for LGBT/gender non-conforming people who come to the video and want to know how this theory applies to them, as my videos aren't just for straight and gender conforming people because gay people exist too. And I also told him that I'm bi-sexual and if I wanted to make an accurate video to my experience and not just regurgitate dead theory, then I have to add in my experiences. And I finished it off by telling him to stop 'clutching pearls about everything and getting so offended over nothing. And I specifically added in the last part because I know those types tend to like to call other people snowflakes and stuff. So, it gets in the way of his ability to think of me as the easily offended one because I've just called him out on being easily offended and did so in a way where most people coming to the video would see that I'm being very reasonable, considerate, and not coming in with a "political" agenda but personal experience and empathy. Anyway, long post. I hope this is encouraging and gives you some ideas of how to eek past this initial phase of starting a channel. By they way, what is your channel URL?

Because Red Pill is a community of pain created out of a sense of lack, low self-esteem, demonization of women/femininity, and victim's mentality. And all of these hang ups don't jibe with self-actualization, which is Leo's goal for this forum and his channel. So, allowing Red Pill threads is inviting validation and perpetuation of men's belief in their own powerlessness into a forum that is focused toward empowerment. This can distract many men from personal growth and keep them in a victim mentality loop. So, the goals of the Red Pill and the goal of self-actualization are diametrically opposed, and Leo wants to remove these pitfalls from his platform.

TJ has only a few hundred subscribers and he's had his channel for many years. So, he's very small as a YouTuber and not very effective at getting subscribers. His view count would indicate that he should have over 1200 subs by now, but he's still in the three hundred to four hundred range. But he used to come on here, so many people on this forum are familiar with him. And that's probably why there's such a stir. I was personally surprised that so many people were either so taken in by him or so against him and calling him on cultish behavior. He must be really trying some kinda stuff that's really pied piper-ish to have that kind of effect on people. I know that when he was here, he was pretty nice and seemingly just another forum goer. I wouldn't have guessed him to go that route. But I guess that his ego has taken hold because he made some videos about how he's gotten to stage Coral or Teal in Spiral Dynamics, to which I don't even know the implications of that or if the framework really holds up past turquoise. But I've noticed quite a few younger people on here really singing his praises in an idol-worship-like kind of fashion. So, I'm guessing he must be really employing some manipulative techniques.

First rule of the Shin cult is you don't talk about Shin cult! Second rule of the Shin cult is...

Purpose is not an aspect of reality beyond what the human mind labels. Reality is empty of purpose and purposelessness. So, if a person constructs a life purpose, they will have one. If they do not construct one, they will not. But there is nothing existentially more valid about deciding on a life purpose or not deciding on a life purpose. Both are perfectly valid. And circumstances are circumstances, some of them are less favorable on the individual human level, but none of them mean anything about a person's worth.

Well, at least we already know what the audition process will be...

One thing to keep in mind is that you'll probably have to have an audition process for your school and the parents would probably have to pay a lot of money for their kid to attend in order to fund such a school. So, you're going to have to be in the market to attract the wealthiest and most gifted students. That's especially true if you want to keep the school size as low as 100 students. There are also certain acts and statutes that must be adhered to, such as EAHCA which guarantees an education to all children regardless of disability. So, private schools also have to adhere to this to get federal and state funding. So, if you have an audition-based school for high performers, then you'd likely not qualify for that funding (or at least not as much) and would rely on high tuition rates and funding from wealthy donors. Also, you'd want to consult a lot of literature about child psychology. It sounds like a nice idea to have an actualization-based curriculum taught from kindergarten onward, but you have to be really clear about what actualization looks like at each age. Actualization at age 4 just looks like interactive playtime. Chances are that the elementary schoolers would need an education similar to what they're getting now, as this is highly tailored to their unique needs. I think the self-actualization stuff would be nice to begin weaving in a little bit in middle school, and focused more heavily on once a student reaches about 10th grade. Kids have to crawl before they can walk and walk before they can run. --- Also, you want to consider the intelligence factor. What I've learned from being a teacher is that my needs as a high functioning and ambitious student are not the needs of everyone. There is a huge range of aptitudes and levels of intelligence relative to academic pursuits. It's just like athletic ability. You can develop it quite a bit. But there are naturally gifted athletes, and there are people (like me) who will never be gifted athletes no matter how hard they work at it. In school, I always viewed education as a path toward self-betterment and learning. And I was often upset by the degree everything was watered down. I had assumed everyone was able to function like me... if they would just put in the effort. So, I had a very libertarian-esque view of education in general. Like, "If they work hard, they'll get good grades. If they have bad grades, then they deserve them." So, to me, education was a competition and a means toward self-actualization... to which I thought public education did a piss-poor job. But being on the other side of the desk made it very clear that I was seeing education through the distorted lens of privilege that me and maybe the top 10% of learners think that the education was for people like us (which we assumed was everyone) and that it served us poorly. And that everyone who wasn't able to compete were just slackers who weren't competing well in the game I had assumed we all were playing. But as a teacher, I was able to see that students who get Fs often get them because they just don't get the work, no matter how hard they try. And there are kids with borderline IQs of 75-80 who are also taking this classes and having similar expectations put upon them because they don't quite qualify as mentally challenged. And you'd never guess that about these students because they just seem like another kid in class. There are kids in the 12th grade with 1st grade reading levels, who try their hardest. And then a bunch of politicians who haven't been in a classroom since they were a student 30 years ago and try to hold teachers more accountable to fix that problem. This is probably because they were likely high functioning students and still have the same naive ideas that I had as a high functioning student since they never had reality check them on those ideas. Sometimes there are kids that just aren't good at understanding high concepts, just like some kids will never be able to slam dunk a basketball. It's just that cerebral academic performance is an expectation and playing basketball is not an expectation. And if I think about the idea of putting a rigorous actualization-based curriculum out to general public, for this very reason, I know this just won't work when the rubber meets the road. The concepts that Leo goes over aren't going to be grasped by over 50% of the student population, AT ALL. And then, only the top 10% will get a really good understanding of it. So, this is why you'd have to make it a school that the brightest students can audition for. And this also leads to needing to have high tuition rates as well as money from wealthy donors, since you probably won't be able to get any kind of federal funding. So, if your goal is to influence a handful of students who are already likely to thrive, then your school will be a great enrichment for them before they go off to some Ivy League college. But if your goal is to really make huge changes on the societal level, you'll have to tweak your vision so that it can have a greater impact on the masses. And you would have to interject self-actualization concepts at the correct developmental times and be sure that it's put in a way that's simple and understandable to most people. Not everyone can be a Jedi. And if you don't know this, you'll screw over 80% of the student body and their needs if you invite the general populace in.

The math analogy fits really well. Children need simple answers to create a working model of reality that fits their developmental stage. So, this is why blue in Spiral Dynamics is really important for children to learn. So, giving them a lot of blacks and whites and simplified answers early on, and then adding more nuances as they question things about reality is probably the best way to give kids a good start in life. They need meaning to solidify their existence in the world, but can later transcend the need for rigid meaning and eventually maybe meaning altogether.

If you mean the people who decide to raise their kids without gender, then yes. They want to liberate their kids from gender as a social construct because they see it as a prison. But as you said, I think of it more as addressing the symptom and not the disease itself. This is because most people will often gravitate toward things that correspond to gender just naturally. So, to discourage gender at a very young age could discourage a child from going toward things they really want to and identifying how they'd like to. So, genderlessness in a sense could become a rigid gender role in and of itself, if a child knows that genderlessness pleases the parent. And they may feel their parents have a resistance toward polarization. I think if they were to really want to liberate their children from gender constraints, they shouldn't really draw too much attention to gender or being genderless. Then just allow the kids to pick whatever they want to play with or wear. But stick to the binary concept of boy and girl as a simple black and white that children can draw about their own gender at an early age because children need simple answers about their identity early on. But you can also tell the kids later on when they're like 4-6 that some people identify as a different gender than what they were assigned at birth and that that's okay. And that some people don't feel like a boy or girl at all. I know my daughter took this information very matter-of-factly. And it didn't effect how she saw herself. But just that little bit allows her to realize that there different ways that people can conceptualize of gender, and that if she feels different in some way that she can always do the same. So, no need to chunk out polarized gender, since it does resonate with most people.

Fun post! I've met Teal Swan a couple years ago at a workshop she was putting on. I joined a small group at a park of about 20 people, and she was answering various questions. I got a chance to talk with her for a while. But I was very conflicted. I was very grateful for everything that she shared in her videos but I also have a lot of resistance to her because of her demeanor and the rumors surrounding her. But I have a lot of dreams with her in it where I'm always trying to get involved with something she's already got going on with other people. So, I suspect that the resistance has a lot more to do with what she represents to me than how she actually is... like a shadow thing. I've talked to Leo a bunch of times on here. But I suspect that in person our interaction would be pretty chilled out and nonchalant. Maybe talk about consciousness work, maybe not. My guess is that he'd be a bit less intense than in his videos, and that it would be a pretty calm interaction. With Eckhart Tolle, I've never met him, but I just enjoy his jolly but quiet demeanor. I feel like I would have a lot of questions for him, and would almost be wanting more of a mentor/student interaction than a one to one friendly sort of interaction. And I feel like I'd really want to just be around him.

My craziest synchronicity happened when I was 17. I was living, at the time, with my then-boyfriend. And we were up late getting stoned with our friends Andrew and Robin. So, it was like 1 am and nothing is open in my home town because it's very small. But we get the munchies and decide we want to go to Steak n' Shake in the next town over because it's the closest 24 hour restaurant. So, we leave in the car and not a single soul is on the road but us. But I just got this thought, "We're going to get into a car accident." So, I start telling them this like it's a fact, like "Hey guys. Buckle your seatbelts. We're about to get into a car accident." And they're kind of brushing me off like "Sure." And I'm urging them to please put on their seatbelts. I finally get Robin, who was sitting in the back seat with me to put it on. About five minutes later we get to a random red light. And again, there's still no one on the road. Then I see a pair of headlights coming from behind us, quite a ways back. And I thought, "This guy's not going to stop. He's going rear end us." And so I braced myself, and "BOOM!" The guy practically used us as his brakes. He totally messed up the back end of the vehicle but we were all okay. The guy was totally drunk too. And we were upset and he was like, "Well, there's no reason you guys should be mad. My car got a lot more messed up than yours." (And we were like 'seriously?!?!?') Then, we just decided to go to Stake n Shake without calling the cops on the guy as long as he agreed to pay the damages (which he did a few days later). But he wanted to actually come and eat with us at Stake n' Shake. Anyway, it was definitely the craziest synchronicity that I've ever experienced.

Was it my video... or is this a synchronicity? I released a video on synchronicity today. So, it'd be a crazy coincidence if you happened to find another video on synchronicity.

Probably a mix between warrior, mother, and wisdom woman with a dash of fool thrown in there.

I've experienced negative entities in astral projection, so I say that it's potentially true that this is the case if I'm to assume that he reality is astral is a real reality. In astral, I've had invisible entities drag me off the bed, pose as people that I know and try to get me to go into a room with several of them (all of whom took on the form of a family member of mine), and when I was a teenager, one of the entities posed as my then-boyfriend and bit me really hard on the shoulder. Then, one of them, I saw but he didn't do anything... like he was not really interested in me. That said, I do think it's important to look into physiological reasons for things like chronic fatigue as well. But it certainly couldn't hurt to do some practices to raise the vibration in case there really are dark entities that can have parasitic attachments to us.

If given the choice between feeling loved or turned on, most women would choose feeling loved. This is because the nature of how women get attractions versus the way men get attractions. Since women have a lot more at stake in getting into a sexual relationship with a man than vice versa, and women can have far fewer children than a man can, there are more firewalls up. So, for a woman to really be genuinely attracted to a man, he has to stimulate her sexually, emotionally, and mentally. And all three have to be activated at once... otherwise it's just not worth getting into it with that guy. So, all three of these factors have to be in place. And because the sexual stimulation is the last to occur among the three, a man won't be able to turn a woman on without all three in place. He will only be able to attract dysfunctional women who are lonely or desperate and will choose a man she's not attracted to just to have company. Being an asshole will make you extra attractive to women in this vulnerable psychological state. But this is when sex and relationships become mere sexual transactions and it's more like mutual masturbation than anything else. It's nothing stellar. And no woman is interested in this kind of sex. But it makes sense that you have the sexual attraction first since this is how it happens for men. So, you assume that women are similar in that way when they are totally different. For a man, because women are the more selective of the two sexes, he has to keep his attractions fairly broad and non-selective. And because of this the initial attraction is best very shallow and detached from outcome. The main thing is just to find someone, and you can pass on your genes. So, the sexual comes first for him. That's how his initial attractions spring about. And if a man is under-developed and not fully emotionally mature, then sexuality will be as far as an attraction ever goes. But men like this are a dime a dozen and aren't attractive to most women. Women prefer more emotionally mature men because they are a lot more present and the sexual experience and relationship experience is much more intimate. But once a mature man who is not in conflict with his heart or mind, finds a woman that he loves, then his sexual energy will transmute upward toward his heart and mind and will match the initial attraction that the woman feels who already had all three boxes checked off. And that's when the deep bonding can occur. So, women's attractions start in the mind, then travel to the heart, and eventually get to the loins. Men's attractions start in the loins, then travel to the heart, and eventually get into the mind. This is why women are always asking men what they're thinking about when they like him. Her goal is to get inside his head. And it's also why women have an easier time falling in love, since the loins have a really strong pull and can more easily bring the energy down from the mind through the heart and to the sexual organs. Whereas, men's seat of attraction is already in the loins, and the strong pull makes it more difficult to transmute that energy upward toward the heart and mind.

One thing that I want to give you as a caveat... Having the motivation to have harmony in your relationships with women can get in the way of progress, as you're still externalizing the Anima. So, it's very important that you don't just have the motivation to use the Anima for some other external purpose. You have to desire wholeness in yourself for the sake of wholeness itself. And if you succeed with Anima integration, it won't only create more harmony with your relationships with women... it will create a relationship internally between the conscious mind and the unconscious. And from this, you'll get clarity and a well-spring of wisdom and insights. So, it's a matter of creating a dynamic relationship between the masculine and feminine within yourself where the two are in constant intercourse, which produces a lot of energy and gives birth to ever exalted versions of yourself. And that energy as it accrues exalts the sexual/libidinal energy upward and reaching toward higher consciousness outlets. So, instead of having sex, you are being sex. Now, of course, you could always choose to have relationships and sex. There is not conflict there. It's just that this won't be seen as the only outlet for your libidinal energy to take shape and will no longer be a requirement for communion with the feminine.

I'm most likely going to hit 19,000 subscribers on my YT channel today, and I will hit 1 million views on my channel in the next week or so. In the past couple days, I've been growing a lot and instead of getting 15-30 subs per day, I'm getting 70-100 subs per day. In the past couple days, I've also been getting about 100-140 views per hour as opposed to the 30-70 views per hour that I would normally get. I also have recently made life-coaching my full-time job, and I'm making about twice as much doing that as I did in my 9 to 5, even though I'm charging very low prices since I'm just starting with it. Once I get certified, I will raise my prices and can easily make three or four times what I'm making now. This is something that's in the works for the coming year. I also have plans in the works to create a course to offer through my website, which I plan to roll out around summer time. So, I feel that currently I'm modestly successful, and I expect that I will be even more successful in the coming year if I continue to work hard and expand upon what I have. Also, it's really helped me socially since I get to connect with a lot of like-minded people. And I get a tangible sense of contribution since a lot of people seem to really get a lot from my videos and coaching. So, it's a success on those levels as well.

The Anima is the inner woman in every man. So, if a man has not integrated the Anima and cultivated a harmonious relationship with that aspect of himself, it will become dis-integrated. And when that happens, the man will encounter similar issues to the one you described on the more moderate end... or at the more extreme he will become very misogynistic, always projecting scary monsters onto women. I recommend looking into Jung's works that deal with the repressed Anima, and what it entail to have a feminine repression. Real femininity in its full depth and breadth is very dis-similar from the cultural conception of femininity. So, it is our unconsciousness as a species relative to the feminine principle that causes a lot of people (especially men) to have a dis-integrated feminine side. Mainly, we just don't know exactly what it is yet collectively, though there are people here and there who have explored this and are aware. Also, reading up on Yin and Yan is very important as well. You can also look into the works of various spiritual teachers working under the Jungian framework that deal with the feminine principle and the unconscious like Jean Raffa, Merlin Stone, Marian Woodman, John Sanford, Jean Shinoda Bolen, June Singer, Robert A. Johnson, Maureen Murdoch, and a bunch of others in the same genre.

My resolution is to bring my schedule more into balance with regard to cooking, cleaning, family time, my channel/coaching, leisure, consciousness work, and self care. I tend to lose a lot of hours just meandering a bit where I feel like I should be doing something but then just not knowing what, and ending up not doing anything. But at the same time, this time isn't really leisurely time. It's time where I've just lost track. So, my resolution is to become more aware of what has to be done in the day versus what I would like to do. Then, also being able to tell what I should stop doing.

1. She has always been a bitch since being rejected. The difference is that she's now closer to the surface of consciousness, so you can detect it. Before this process was unconscious to you, but still afflicting you in many ways. So, it's not that she's become more of a bitch since getting more space. It's that she's a bitch because she's been rejected, and now her cries and screams for integration are getting though more. 2. Repressed Animus/masculine side can cause a lot of issue with the Anima. So, integrating and realizing your masculine side is very important to be able to integrate the Anima. 3. The desire for connection with women and validation will decrease to a normal level the more you integrate the Anima. The Anima projects in dual way when it wants to be integrated. It's the bitch that projects images of power, spite, and rejection of your being onto women. But it's also the seductress that tempts you toward women and feel like you need to have that connection. And most assume that it's just pure sexual desire or some other analogous desire. But the lion's share of this feeling of neediness comes from the Anima trying to entice you to integrate it into yourself by projecting onto women as a whole group. 4. I would suppose that if this is a really strong obsession, that it would also be coming from a disintegrated Anima. The Anima will project images of validation and communion with women, that FEELS like it will be the solution to all your problems. But what would actually solve them is to look away from the projection and directly toward the projector, and this is when you can actually release resistance to the feminine and your more prevalent masculine side can have that feminine communion within yourself. And this will make you more whole.