Emerald

On the absolute this is true. On the relative, we do have a lot of individual and collective wounds. So, unless someone abides in the absolute, this perspective you're sharing will just cover over important things that need to be addressed. Imagine making this argument on the physical level. You go into a hospital room where someone's just been shot ten times. And You say, "Hey great new! There are no "wounds, there's just luggage." What you must understand is that, just like a gunshot wound, trauma wounds are still there in the absolute. It's just that your relationship to them changes. But let's be real here, most people will never taste the absolute. So, your perspective just shrouds more things in invalidation. It makes people less conscious, not more conscious, to ignore an aspect of reality just for the sake of some abstract truth that you don't even live in yourself.

You're really straw-manning me here. I don't think you've ever read my posts on this forum before, because it's so off the mark. You're projecting that I'm okay with misandry... which is simply not true. Number one, if I see a woman who's off base, I'm just as willing to push back on her perspective. And it's not as though you can find ANY posts of me beating up on men. But I do call out distortions in perspective when I see it. And whenever I see self-biases that I know are not based in truth, I try to educate. Also, I don't go around calling people sexist. But I'm not going to pretend that certain sexist behaviors are not sexist just because it offends people to call a spade a spade. So, it isn't mean. It's factual.Also, I'm very unlikely to use the word 'sexist' in the first place to refer to these distortions and biases, unless it's relevant and helpful for the person to see past their delusions. Often times, it just requires an explanation. So, if you think I just go around "calling people out" or shaming people or something, then you are not reading my posts. And those that are fragile to gender/sexuality issues and really dug in on their distortions will never hear it. But since it's a public forum, that person doesn't really need to be the one that hears it. Many others will. Also, your last paragraph is partially true. Very few people on this thread are seeing past their own self-biases. But given that men's self-biases are far more prevalent here and that women's self-biases are being looked at as a false perspective by many of the men who believe that they know better, it is incumbent upon me to share the ins and outs of the female perspective at a deeper level. So, while women's self-biases are just as much biased as men's are and are thus untrue... it is true that those are our biases. And most men here have an incredibly distorted idea of women's biases based in lots of false notions about women's sexuality and perspective. Too many men think they read a few pick up books and watch some RSD and suddenly they "know female psychology". And of course that's not true, and even believing so is a defense mechanism because they feel powerless and want to feel more control. Whether men realize it or not, they really do want the love of a woman... especially the inner woman. So, these sources can tell you what generally works if you want to get laid... but they don't tell you why it works in a way that's accurate. And this misrepresentation of women's sexuality, self-biases, and perspectives is a burden to men as well. So, just because other people on here are sharing from their self-biases, doesn't mean I'm doing that in the same light as they are. My goal is always to bring new perspectives to the light of consciousness. I understand that men work differently and have different agendas than me... usually. Women tend to naturally orient to men through the heart. Men tend not to orient to women through their heart until they've gone through years of maturing first. When this happens, the agenda is similar. But before a certain age the male agenda and female agenda is apples and oranges. Young men are in a developmental phase where it's about meeting women and gaining experience. The problem comes when these men have a few one-night stands because they watched some videos on pick up and attended a couple seminars and think they have women figured out and they tell themselves all kind of distorted stories that are simply not true and are a misrepresentation of women's sexuality. And if those young men continue to cling onto these distorted ideas of female sexuality, they will never be able to grow into a mature man with an integrated feminine side who can actually have a functional relationship from the heart. He will run around in circles chasing the things he "knows" and never step a foot out of that safe ideology. So, I offer my perspective and biases as a woman, to push back on their misconceptions about women. And not just for women... for men too.

I'm not sure if you're referring directly to me or not. But I am definitely not making mean or snarky comments, nor have I ever attacked anyone's personality in my posts or critiques. And I don't diagnose anyone as I am not a psychoanalyst. I simply share what I perceive and what I've learned in regard to the topics at hand whether they relate to sexuality, consciousness work, or any other topic, just like everyone else on this forum. Now, Anna is correct in that there is objectively a lot of sexism that goes on here on this section of the forum. And it is very uncomfortable to be a female in this section because lots of stuff men say here does feel like lemon juice in wounds. And the uncomfortable feelings that get triggered are very natural. So, if a woman reacts defensively outwardly, you must understand that it's a very strong instinctual emotional reaction that is based in a real collective wound. But calling something sexist is not a "mean" thing to say. That's just an accurate label to describe the phenomenon. And though I practice remaining respectful and understanding in all my interactions, I don't sugarcoat things or handle people with kid gloves. It's very important to call a spade a spade, even if some people have a bias that prevents them from perceiving it or they get offended by it. But I don't do it to be mean or to belittle anyone, even if that's how they are likely to perceive it. And I don't even behave in a mean way to those who are outright antagonistic to me... which happens often because of the perspectives I share and how threatening they are to many people's status quo. But in order to understand and be of help to anyone, you must be able to hold space for people even if they are incapable of affording you the same courtesy. So, when I call a spade a spade, I do it to be accurate and to illuminate new perspectives to people to help them get un-mired from traps that I've grappled with myself. There's no value in mincing words just because it offends some people or challenges the status quo. Sexism is real and it is common and it is here. And it's unwise to keep one's eyes closed to it.

I'm not saying don't moderate them. What I'm saying is that if you block something out as fundamental as human sexuality, you end up with a contents under pressure situation... that ends up getting in the way of consciousness work and self-actualization. And that's why I disagree that the dating/relationship sub-forum should be deleted. That's all I'm saying. But I understand your feelings, as I feel the same way about sexism. It really doesn't feel good and it salts collective and individual wounds. There's a lot of pain and anger and fear there. And the wounds are deep and ancient and infected. And they effect both men and women, but it's only women who tend to realize it and feel it strongly. And this gives us a unique advantage in helping men and women with this issue. And this is a space where you can bring things to light that can help people that would otherwise be stuck in a bad position. It's a space where you can push back and influence people (men and women) to see what's actually going on. And of course there are many people that don't like to look at this. But I'm not just sharing for their sake. Talking to brick walls is not helpful for the brick wall... and I certainly don't do it for me because it's not fun. But some of the onlookers on this public forum will be deeply influenced. Because I share in this way, so many people are not aware of these things. And I've had quite a few men and women who seek out my services to help them integrate their feminine side. Also, your age is not so relevant to me. And I find it strange that my disagreement with you is being met with the level of resistance that it is on this topic. So, if your assessment is that you have healed your wounds because you're twice my age, then I have to push back on that notion. These are ancient wounds and collective wounds as much as they are individual. And it takes a lot of equanimity to be receptive enough to get deep into the wound enough to start healing it. You have to understand it at such a deep level that you can find compassion even for those men that are spitting vitriol toward women and trying to diminish us. And the compassion grows out of understanding why the wound is effecting them that way. It's really about systems thinking. And because it's a collective wound, you won't be able to fully heal until it's healed in the collective for men and women... which probably won't happen completely any time in my lifetime. But it's about the journey and making things better and better. And if you only focus on the substance of what the 'too far gones' say, you won't see how helpful this kind of awareness is for people. So, the existence of the Dating/Relationship forum tends to produce some low quality content. But it's also the space where the most transformation can happen. Issues always play out on the sexual stage eventually. Repression (in the mind or internet) is not healthy.

Burn out is a good sign for you personally to either step back and take a breather or dig deeper and find the wound it aggravates. The former is good for immediate recooperation, and the latter helps to develop a deeper understanding and higher degrees of equanimity in the face of these pervasive issues. When you become aware of the wound, it has less of an effect on you. You see it for what it is and not what you fear it is. And then, you can help people. This is why the internet's darknesses is so helpful for collective Shadow integration and social evolution. When you face with darkness, the high consciousness thing to do is to shine light on it. The Shadow can't remain in the light. But it can be draining and frustrating sometimes to be on the receiving end of the Shadow. So, breaks are necessary. That said, to cut out the sexuality section, just allows the collective shadow to hide and languish in the dark unconscious. It's best to have things rise to the surface as opposed to suppressing them.

When the desire for sex becomes excessive, it is usually not because of the sex... but instead what the sex represents. So, a man who represses his Feminine side (Anima), will project the disintegrated Anima onto women as whole group. And there will be a simultaneous hatred and resentment as well as an incredibly strong obsessional desire to connect. A man who has an integrated Anima will have a much healthier and non-excessive sex-drive based in the desire for pleasure, procreation, and/or pair-bonding. But it won't be this sense of extreme thirsting for a dearth of the Feminine internally. And because there is no split, he will generally have neutral feelings about women... basing his feelings only on the particulars of the individual woman he interacts with. He will see women as complex individuals capable of both good and evil. But you want to think about the Anima as literally being a split off woman personality inside of a man. Like there is a shadow aspect of him that is literally female, and has all the access to his feminine strengths and wisdom. It gives him access to the subconscious, the intuition, and his emotions. But when this internal woman gets rejected, she behaves as any scorned woman does. She gets jealous and petty and possessive of his personality. And he starts expressing shadow feminine traits... all the while believing he's being masculine in his rejection of the feminine. And his Anima aspect behave with smallness, cattiness, and pettiness toward women... because the Anima is jealous of the attention he pays to them and not her. And so she sabotages his relationships. And projects her own face onto all women which is vengeful and cold because she wants him to feel the same rejection that he has dealt out to her as he pushes her out of his conscious awareness.

I do agree with that as well. It's very uncomfortable to be in this section. But it's important to look squarely at it. The internet gives us a direct look into collective consciousness and the collective Shadow. So, to avoid going to the sexuality section, is to avoid something that everyone is affected by at a very deep level. And no growth comes from avoidance. It's best to turn over the rotting logs and see yourself in the rot. The only way to transcend the discomfort is to dive directly into the rot and understand it deeply. It's hard though and uncomfortable.

I think you may be in for a big surprise then.

There is no "Colombian girl" nature. There is only her nature. Use your intuition. You have one. You don't need to use Xenophobia to do your sorting. As with everything else there is good and bad everywhere you go. There is no way to stereotype your way into finding out. Just see where things go. And if she shows bad signs, then set your boundaries. That's it.

I very much disagree. The only way out is through. This is the place where all the Shadows are.

Haha! The kitchen of the mind is a great metaphor for where they try to keep the Anima. Making mind samiches! All very well said. Especially the last part. It's like going to war sometimes trying to get through all the layers of pain and conditioning.

I actually just wrote a big long list of Yin qualities with their Yang counterparts yesterday. It will help you get the gist of what is being resisted against... Darkness (as opposed to light) Being (as opposed to doing) Intuition (as opposed to logic) Emotions (as opposed to thought) Sensitivity (as opposed to impenetrability) Receptivity (as opposed to communication) Earthliness (as opposed to idealism) Grounding and stability (as opposed to flight) Instincts (as opposed to civilized behaviors) Sensuality (as opposed to pensiveness) Birth and Death (as opposed to eternal life) The moon (as opposed to the sun) The present moment (as opposed to past and future) The arational (as opposed to the rational) The body (as opposed to the mind) Attunement to natural cycles (as opposed to controlling nature) Compassion (as opposed to respect) Wisdom (as opposed to knowledge) Nature (as opposed to society) Laterality (as opposed to hierarchy) Cooperation (as opposed to competition) Interdependence (as opposed to independence) Care for the Earth and all the creatures that crawl upon it (as opposed to prioritizing human survival above all) The ability to feel energy in people and plants as a means of path-finding (as opposed to being guided by set principles) Nurturing (as opposed to protecting) Mystery (as opposed to clarity) Eroticism - aka life-giving (as opposed to catalyzing life) Holistic thinking (as opposed to linear thinking) The ability to hold space for opposites (as opposed to choosing one side) Yes and (as opposed to either or) Non-resistance (as opposed to resistance) Softness (as opposed to hardness) Beauty (as opposed to utility) Our animal nature (as opposed to our God-nature) Creativity (as opposed to productivity) Regenerative chaos and destruction (as opposed to order) Honor for the material and physical world (as opposed to mind over matter) Intimacy (as opposed to detachment) Go through the list and see what triggers you or makes you feel an ego boost. Even though these qualities are not meant to be attached to human gender directly, we often do even if we try not to. So, if we find ourselves in attachment mode or resistance mode with any of these qualities, it's a good place to dig and explore for barriers to integration.

That tends to be why I choose to hang out in this section disproportionately. Lots of people struggling unnecessarily and getting mired down in darkness... making sex and love something of suffering and scarcity, instead of truly fulfilling. The problem is that most men here (and in general) are unknowingly seeking connection to the feminine (or Anima to speak more psychologically). But because they don't know this, they play out the struggles with their Anima onto women. They worship it and they hate that they worship it. They put it up on a pedestal and then give it their all to drag it down. They perceive the feminine as too powerful and feels powerless in the face of it, so they seek to take it down a peg and puff themselves up. And of course, we women-people have nothing to do with the woman inside of his own psyche who he has rejected and thus spites him with so many blows to his self-esteem. But we become the projection screen for his internal antagonist. And it gets damn tiring to be minding your own business and having all this misrepresentation, demonization, dehumanization, and disempowering sentiments flung at you from all directions from a large populace of men that society has failed by teaching them only to honor the masculine side of themselves... leaving them there to struggle there in the psycho-sexual realm with feelings of deep pain and inadequacy. But what they really want deep down is to accept their feminine side, which takes a lot of foresight and bravery to see the value in given the hyper-masculine social indoctrination we all experience. And all those issues play out on the sexual stage... as most internal turmoil eventually does.

It's actually really difficult to integrate your feminine side as a woman (or man for that matter) in a world where the feminine has been repressed and seen as inferior for many thousands of years, and is just now coming to the surface to be reintegrated. Patriarchal society, creates a vacuum where almost no femininity beyond the most basic relational elements of it, can exist. It's only really been in the process of coming back online in the collective for the past 100 years or so since industrialization began. And we still have a long way to go. So, the way to survive and thrive as a woman/girl in contemporary society without a substantial amount of ugliness coming your way is to repress the feminine and join in the reverence for the masculine and develop it in one's self. And development of the masculine side is good for everyone. Otherwise, the woman will never develop herself because she's unlikely to ever leave the small box of traditional feminine social constructs which bears very little resemblance to actual femininity in its full depth and breadth. Society's definition of the feminine is very male-washed and limited as we are still a mostly patriarchal society. So, it is exceptionally difficult to recover your feminine side as a woman because femininity is often cast as a weakness by both men and women, and is often used as a way for men to tell women to get back in the old box. So, it can be a daunting task to get in touch with your feminine power when society is constantly telling you that only the masculine has power and is superior to the feminine. No one wants to be inferior or walked over. So, many women resist their feminine power because they have internalized the same misogyny that is cast all over society. And this is very difficult to unlearn. But if these women got in touch with the divine feminine, most would find the heart of their power there and would embrace the feminine gladly. And it would change the world into a much more compassionate and emotionally intelligent place. Right now, it's so harsh because there is an extreme masculine imbalance and an intense fear of the feminine inherited from our patriarchal past trying to control Mother Nature that had so much power over us before the technology of the current day. We need the feminine to temper it. So, point being, it's very tough to be in touch with your feminine power as a woman because of all the collective wounding associated with it.

It's a tall order to fill because society is largely unaware of what femininity is. And it tends to also look down upon things associated with it, consciously or unconsciously. Although, it is getting better. So, it's a lot about breaking down those false notions about the feminine, and getting to know the feminine at a deeper level. The process is mostly subtractive and about finding your natural feminine energy, though you can certainly accentuate what's there. But it can help to see where your resistances and barriers are if you look at general traits within the feminine principle... Here is a list of the feminine principle traits in relation to their complementary masculine traits... Darkness (as opposed to light) Being (as opposed to doing) Intuition (as opposed to logic) Emotions (as opposed to thought) Sensitivity (as opposed to impenetrability) Receptivity (as opposed to communication) Earthliness (as opposed to idealism) Grounding and stability (as opposed to flight) Instincts (as opposed to civilized behaviors) Sensuality (as opposed to pensiveness) Birth and Death (as opposed to eternal life) The moon (as opposed to the sun) The present moment (as opposed to past and future) The arational (as opposed to the rational) The body (as opposed to the mind) Attunement to natural cycles (as opposed to controlling nature) Compassion (as opposed to respect) Wisdom (as opposed to knowledge) Nature (as opposed to society) Laterality (as opposed to hierarchy) Cooperation (as opposed to competition) Interdependence (as opposed to independence) Care for the Earth and all the creatures that crawl upon it (as opposed to prioritizing human survival above all) The ability to feel energy in people and plants as a means of path-finding (as opposed to being guided by set principles) Nurturing (as opposed to protecting) Mystery (as opposed to clarity) Eroticism - aka life-giving (as opposed to catalyzing life) Holistic thinking (as opposed to linear thinking) The ability to hold space for opposites (as opposed to choosing one side) Yes and (as opposed to either or) Non-resistance (as opposed to resistance) Softness (as opposed to hardness) Beauty (as opposed to utility) Our animal nature (as opposed to our God-nature) Creativity (as opposed to productivity) Regenerative chaos and destruction (as opposed to order) Honor for the material and physical world (as opposed to mind over matter) Intimacy (as opposed to detachment) Go through the list and see what triggers you or makes you feel a little smug. And you can find where your barriers may be.

It's important not to identify yourself with the Masculine energy or the Feminine energy because everyone has both. Masculine and Feminine exists as a metaphor, and a pretty good one at that. But Masculinity is not equated with manhood and Femininity is not equated with womanhood... it's the other way around. Manhood is equated with masculinity and womanhood is equated with femininity. So, the principles of the masculine and feminine are in all things and supercede gender. But more importantly, on the ultimate level everyone has infinite amounts of the masculine and feminine to them. If you imagine a Yin and Yang sign, which is a symbol of masculine/feminine. Then imagine zooming into the Yin side (black side) and when you zoom in you find even more Yin and Yang signs. Then you zoom in and find even more Yin and Yang signs. The masculine and feminine are always intertwined. You can't have one without the other. And this is true at all levels. So, this is why the masculine principle is all about doing and movement and motion. And it is also about the still and unchanging. It depends on what perspective you're looking from. The feminine is all about stillness and being and nature. Yet it is also about chaos. So, don't identify with any of it. Just let it be.

That's amazing Hari! I'm glad to hear it. And you're definitely not crazy. Follow your passion.

Yes and Yes. The idea is that you find someone cut from the same cloth as you, through feeling into their energy. And there are many that are cut from the same cloth. And tons of great points here. This is what I've found in my experiences. Also, this is how relationship helps you remove falsehood. You find someone who is naturally magnetic to you, and then you find you have similar but inverse distortions and delusions as well. And through relating deeper and deeper with one another, those distortions and delusions can be broken up through conflict and exploration. And that helps you grow deeper with that person... where you then uncover similar inverse distortions and delusions with one another through conflict and exploration. And in that way, it is also a way to merge with all. So, relationship can run so deep that it's a way to transcend duality. And this is why we tend to attract parters with the same issues all the time. We sense that person is the mirror to our own issues, and we know that relationship can help resolve. However, this hardly ever works because people aren't aware of this. So, we end up getting stuck on issues and never working through them to grow deeper. So, relationships end up shallow and unsatisfying because the deeper growth can't happen. But relationship can be used this way.

My position is biased because I'm trying to illuminate the situation from the female perspective to push back on common misconceptions about female sexuality. I show you my biases to illuminate your biases. Just because something works for you, doesn't mean that that's women's preferred way. I'm telling you my preferred way... which I suspect is akin to most women's preferred way. So, I am biased in that I'm showing you how men are received when doing pick-up and game. I understand that men have different agendas. And that's fine. But if you have these agendas and you get some success by your biased definition of it... it doesn't mean that you actually know what the receiver of that success's definition of the experience is. Success for a man might ring in as a failure to a woman. So, if you want to have pairings that are mutually successful, then you'll need to consider that what works for you might make a woman feel unsatisfied, regretful, and underfucked... and make you the joke of the next girls' night and not the stud you have come to see yourself as. But if you only care about getting laid, and you don't care about leaving a woman unsatisfied, you don't really have to consider her perspective at all. You're not required to give the woman a good time to have a good time yourself. But if you consider a woman's biases, you could actually be strategic so you both have a good time.

That's fine. And that's also why most women who are in touch with their femininity and intuition will screen you out and see you as a low quality man. And if you're playing a numbers game, it really doesn't matter if most women do screen you out. You'll get some success if you define success as getting laid. There are plenty of women out there who will settle for you. But don't imagine that they really enjoy themselves, is all that I'm saying. It likely is experienced as a mistake or regret by them later because your way of approaching women will leave them feeling unsatisfied and unfucked. Or worse... you'll awaken love in them and they'll experience deep anxiety in that you're incapable of meeting them in that feeling. All I'm saying, is not to think that just because something will work for you in a pinch is actually indicative of what the actual inner mechanisms of women's sexuality crave. It's the same thing with Tinder statistics. That's not a clear indicator of women's sexuality either. It works that way only through the medium of internet dating, where a woman is completely unable to use her intuition which can only happen in person. Women's sexuality isn't like men's. It's very in-person and particular. You have to get the rhythm of the man's personality to feel the match. Internet dating is a piss-poor way for women to meet men because you get none of the right information, and it leaves you to only use logic and the weighing of objective traits to pick a partner. And that's not a good indicator. So, again, your definition of a successful pairing is not the same as a woman's. And I think it unwise for a man to only focus on what works, as opposed to why something works. But keep doing what you're doing. Just don't imagine that women are having as good a time as you are.

I understand what you're saying. And I get why guys might fair better doing pick up and batch screening of women. And it truly isn't a judgment against that. The numbers game is sometimes necessary for men. And I have no issue with sex. The thing I was pushing back on is the misrepresentation of women's sexuality. And thinking that because they've gotten some success in the form of getting laid, that this is an indicator of what women like and what women want. And Leo was making it a solid rule and even said 100% of heterosexual women work this way, which is not true. And since Leo has a huge platform and lots of influence, it's so important to push up against misinformation. What may work for men in the external is not the way that it works for women on the internal. I find too many men who have a false notion of female sexuality to the detriment of themselves and women, as this false knowing is a wedge to intimacy. As important as it is to find something that works, it's even more important to know WHY it works. And guys who practice game tend to get mired in the notion that they know. Also, I wouldn't be interested in a man if he isn't interested in me in particular and I suspect I'm not alone. But yet again, I've never been one for seeking a partner or dating, myself. I like solitude and relationship equally in many respects. So, I just end up intuitively liking someone and it either works or doesn't.

That's right on the money. Too many men try to wear masculinity as opposed to finding their own natural masculine essence that is ever present with them.

I don't think you really gleaned the main aspect of what I was saying. I'm saying that the thing that makes a man attractive is not contingent upon "game". In fact, in my 17 years of experience of being approached, learning game is usually a disruptor to the natural personality and has a fake flavor to it. Women who are attuned to their intuition can sense it in men. Mind you it's better than being totally anti-social and sexual repression, so do whatever works. But don't think that just because it works for you, that it's what women actually like. It really is a disruptor to a man's natural energy, as they get so attached to the techniques and knowledge that they forget to be a person... which is what women are actually attracted to. And I can sense a lot of insecurity underneath both "game" and even personal development in general . So, I find game and approach to be off-putting. If I sense it's too easy to get a man (and most men are incredibly easy to get), then I know it's not special for him and that he approaches everyone and that I'm interchangeable to him. And thus, it is a sign of instability and often worse. Also, because I view sex as a form of communication, I want a man who actually specifically wants to communicate something specific to me... not just someone who has nothing to say to me but just wants to speak. And just hearing someone speak with nothing to say is a turn off. So, I automatically (like most women who are in touch with their emotional and sexual needs) screen it out, and focus toward men I'm familiar with that I am around frequently. And that's the most ideal scenario from a woman's perspective. Approach and game is very lukewarm in terms of pleasure and emotional enjoyment. It takes at least a few weeks (usually months) of platonic interaction to develop an attraction intense enough to make me want to pair bond with someone. And that's the only way to get the heat up that high. It's a slow brew and needs time to ferment. Now, if you broadly define game as general social skills that apply for everyone, then I would say that's not really game. But these are necessary to make friends easily and form relationships more easily. So, yes, a man will have to develop basic social skills to attract more women. But learning to be confident and cool and all those other things will attract simply the most average woman who is also unaware of her intuition. A woman who screens for objective qualities instead of connecting to her emotional center. And as a numbers game, if women are interchangeable to you, that's fine. But I doubt you'll find very many who you can really be understood by and be intimate with. It would just be a stage to perform your sexuality on and have some brief enjoyable experiences. But it sounds like a lonely experience. But game specifically refers to behaviors adopted by men to roll the dice at finding a mate. And 99.999% of the time I find these mating dances to be counter-productive and off-putting. And I know I'm not an odd bird in this. And truly I believe game, in its best aspect, to be a placebo that just gives an otherwise insecure guy the courage to approach a woman in the first place... which would have yielded them results even without learning game. It's like you give someone a cape and tell them they're a hero, and they believe it, so they're able to do heroic things. But the person actually had that in them all the time and didn't actually need the cape. The problem only comes from when the guy never realizes the cape isn't real. And there are tons of "gurus" touting the efficacy of the cape. And "Don't believe women when they tell you the capes don't work. Women just don't realize the capes work." It really creates an airtight vacuum of misinformation about the female sexual experience. And you have an entire generation of guys who are totally lost, insisting that your sexuality works other than how it does just because they've gotten results in getting laid... which would have happened anyway. On a personal level, it's frustrating. But on a collective level, it silences the voices of women actually communicating their needs and wants... just because some women will settle for game. So, it drives an intimacy barrier between men and women in their experience of sex and love, because the guy fundamentally doesn't understand but is certain in his own ignorance that he does because he heard it from some equally clueless "guru". So, that potential to attract a lot of women would have been there before any "game" was learned at all. And the reason why is simple. It's because most women are attracted to men. There is no need to filter oneself through all of these ideas and techniques. Just have your life in order, get some basic social skills, don't suppress your masculinity, make connections with people, open your heart, and be yourself. From my perspective, I'm almost never attracted to the guys that would be deemed universally attractive. And it almost never happens when a guy has romantic intent of any kind on his sleeves. I'm mostly attracted to guys who just have a very particular way about them that resonates with me. And as long as they're being themselves, I'm going to feel that. But game, as I've noticed, is usually the opposite. It cuts men off from their natural masculine essence and teaches masculinity on the external level. And the counter-productivity of it is very palpable and obvious from the outside looking in.

Actually, you're not correct. The connection comes from something much deeper and more elemental than that. Women, when connected to their intuition, they can sense who they have chemistry with. And in that way they find a match. And this is very particular. I could see a guy that most women would label him a 10 and he'd be a 5 to me, because I can sense he is not a match. But a guy that most women might label a 5 would be off the charts to me because I can sense a match in my bones and in my heart. And that's not from some pick-up skill the guy has learned. It comes from feeling the natural essence of his personality and an intuitive sensing of congruency between him and I. And pick-up has a special way of interrupting and corrupting the male essence and filtering it through the "shoulds". I can really smell it on them. And as with any form of personal development, it tends to come from a sense of lack or insecurity. Also, my matches tend not to fit into many of the things you mentioned. They're usually not bold, charming, smooth, or cool. That energy doesn't go with mine. I am naturally attracted to men of a more reserved and introverted kind of nature... a man who doesn't wear his sexuality on his sleeve. A man who would likely find my specific attention special and not just another thing. Once a guy gets to a point where he no longer sees sex as special and meaningful, it pretty much guarantees that I can't really get much emotionally out of the experience because sex is much more about the communication of care and desire than anything else. And I've been getting attractions to those of the male persuasion since I was 4 years old. Are you telling me that those 4 year old boys of yesteryear somehow learned game? The answer is no. And even as a child, I was always attracted to loner types that were not very gregarious. But I suppose you'd have to be a woman to truly know what it is that women are attracted to in guys. So, continue to do what works for you. But don't be so ignorant as to assume that you know that insides of the mechanism. It's very different from the inside. And while your methods will get you some success if you do the fishing. As I said, pick up and game works on 25% of women... which is a sizable minority. But you likely won't be attracting women who specifically seek you.

My experience of my sexuality differs from this. Though I could see how it would work on women who don't have a very strong intuition or boundaries or who are just lonely... which probably describes like 25% of women. So, it's a sizable enough minority to find a sexual partner as a man. But I don't think this is typical. It's certainly not logical. But usually the guy is someone I have either a platonic friendship with or an acquaintance relationship to. And it isn't based on looks or any other specific trait. But the draw is curiosity about his energy at a distance. It's always the question of whether or not the guy is interested and the wondering of what's happening in his mind. So, it is introversion and nonchalance and lack of clear interest that attracts me along with his general energy. If I'm sure a guy is interested, it kills the entire attraction before it can set in because there is no mystery and nothing for my mind to get curious about. So, game and clear sexual intent is the anti-aphrodisiac. I hate to see men trying to perform their sexuality at me. It's very obvious and it has a saccharine kind of energy about it. I have a very sensitive intuition about when men are interested in me. And I only want the one that seems he's not because then tension gets to build and I get to discover that he does. This is an analogy for how it sets in... Imagine that I'm alone in the middle of a very shallow and calm lake with nothing around me. And then, when I'm alone, I start to think about a guy who happens into my mind, and suddenly something floats to the surface of that lake. And it's my feelings and deepening curiosity. And eventually, over the course of time, I grow to become more curious and more entranced. And these feelings usually last a year or more... and are usually unreciprocated. But a couple times they have been.