Emerald

She might not be gone. But if you brought her to some pick-up thing, it's probably not going to make her feel very good and will potentially send her some red flags and mixed signals. Imagine she'd brought you to a "fuck lot's of guys" tour. You probably wouldn't be feeling very good about it, especially if you were in a FWB situation that was in the running to go toward a relationship. You're not really showing her that you care about her specifically. Now, you might say that RSD is different than that. But in the eyes of a woman who's vetting you out to be a partner, that's going to effectively be the near-equivalent her bringing you on a "fuck lot's of guys" tour.

I recommend shifting from 'product-oriented' sex to 'process-oriented' sex. So, sex is more about communication, connection, and self-expression than it is about the orgasm. This will make it a lot better for her especially since there will be more focus toward emotional connection than there is toward the physical. So, that way, when you and your partner are making love there is no bar to meet and it becomes a more creative and enjoyable act.

At present, I definitely live from the perspective of ego. But I am a lot less neurotic as a result of those experiences and the inner work that I've done over the course of the past 9 or 10 years. I don't take things quite as seriously as I used to.

This is incorrect thinking. The thing that helps both anxious and avoidant people heal their past traumas is to get contrast and to actually experience a healthy attachment based in unconditional presence and love without expectation for the other person to go against what's right for them. So, if both he and she are able to communicate honestly enough and have the other's best interest at heart, this friendship could be excellent for healing and experiencing a healthy relationship. It would be hard work. She would have to practice giving him space as he needs it and not acting from her neediness, and he would have to practice opening up and communicating his feelings. But given that anxious and avoidant people often mirror eachother in terms of their reactions to trauma, they act as representations of the shadow to eachother and can also help them integrate the opposite in themselves. And this can help neutralize the imbalance.

Excellent! Hopefully this situation will help give you both the contrast and practice with forming healthy attachments. I think this is probably the most fruitful way to go about this situation.

A man who is naturally more feminine will always be more feminine. But there is masculinity there as well. The real question to ask is, "Why do I want to be more masculine?" Sometimes the desire itself could indicate unrealized masculine potential that has not yet been developed or is repressed that wants to be integrated. Or the desire could relate to simply wanting a certain type of social approval, which would mean that the desire itself is just a means to an end. The main thing is to seek to develop as much of your potential as you can and to let yourself bloom. If you're really developing yourself as a person and growing yourself, more of your potential will come up and will no longer be unrealized. And when it does, embrace it regardless of whether or not it's feminine or masculine.

You're dealing with Anima Possession. Because there is a disintegration of the Anima (the female aspect in a man a.k.a the feminine side), there is a deep longing to reconnect and integrate the repressed Anima. This translates as a deep need for connection to the feminine which is often translated as a desperate need for female validation and sexual communion with women. But this healing doesn't really work this way. They way to heal is to integrate the Anima by releasing resistance to the feminine. Also, because the Anima is rejected, it gets angry at you and projects the shadow feminine onto women as a whole group. So, you will see women as heartless succubi that are up on a pedestal and holding your personal value in their hands. And you'll get angry and try to drag them down off that perceived pedestal. But the thing to understand that none of this is actually happening in external reality. It is a dynamic that's playing out INTERNALLY and being projected and superimposed onto reality. So, you are feeling rejected by women, because the Anima has been rejected and is enacting revenge upon you for casting it away. And so it becomes this mix of desperation for sex and female validation along with hatred of women and a desire to dominate them in the way that you project that they dominate and control you. As a woman, it's very uncomfortable to have men come and try to depedestal you, when the pedestal is just a figment of their imagination. And it's very uncomfortable to have men try to diminish your power as a woman, when you don't possess the power they perceive you to have. So, as someone who has been on the receiving end of Anima projection, I can tell you that this perceived dynamic is entirely a figment of the unconscious mind.

This is why I had said to let go of the attachment to outcomes, and to not expect a relationship. I was saying that, if he's important to her as a person, to give him space and presence. Someone who is avoidant can't help but be avoidant until there is resolve. The same is true of those who are anxious in their attachment. So, I was advocating for allowing their friendship to be a place of resolve. But this would have to be done with a level of detachment that the OP may not be capable of. So, that's something to take into consideration. My advice is more-so for the case that she cares about him even if no romantic relationship can come of it... like if she sincerely wants to help him. And this, of course, wouldn't bar her from seeking a romantic connection with someone else. That said, if she's just looking for a relationship and doesn't really have interest in him as a person beyond those ends, then she should just move on. I suppose that my assumption is that, if she cares about him enough to be in a relationship with him, she probably cares about him even if no relationship were possible and that she would naturally want to help him. And helping him would entail holding space for him unconditionally without expectation as he works through his fear of intimacy.

Right now, society is on the path toward the integration of the Divine Feminine into society and has been for over a century. And any time there are huge leaps and bounds with progress relative to this feminine integration, there is a backlash of archetypal "defenders of the patriarchy" cropping up that try to resist the change. You can find these types everywhere now-a-days. And Jordan Peterson is someone who is an obvious leader in the field of patriarchy defenders since he's aware of his agenda and what it entails on the mundane and esoteric level. He also knows what to show and what to conceal. That's my perception of him. So, he advocates for resisting the Divine Feminine in a way that slips under people's radar as it's encapsulated in the facade of self-improvement and protecting the world from "postmodern neomarxists". But it's really about resisting the feminine principle and maintaining the masculine imbalance over the feminine, on the esoteric level and ideally (for him) reaching toward the mundane man/woman level as well. And also actively trying to bring things back to "order" in the patriarchal sense is what he genuinely believes is healthy for society. So, he doesn't do this nefariously. He just takes evolutionary progress to be an indicator of something that's gone awry, as opposed to a symptom of growth toward a new ordering principle that more holistic and better for people and the planet. He sees chaos where there is order, because he is too attached to the old order. Unfortunately, despite JPs positive intentions, this mindset that he's propagating will actually destroy our planet if we let his mindset maintain its foothold on society. Human survival depends on us integrating the feminine principle and evolving into "Green" on the SD model. I just hope we will make the jump. But the popularity of Jordan Peterson, makes me a bit nervous that we won't be able to. Yet again, there have already been huge changes. So, maybe we can.

I would read her post again. It doesn't really seem to me that he's showing "typical male behavior". That looks a bit different in practice. I'm guessing that he genuinely is experiencing avoidant tendencies and has an insecure attachment style. So, my advice to her was to detach from the idea of having a relationship. But that, if he means something to her beyond her desire to be in a relationship with him, to continue being there for him and hold space for him. He may never have had someone give that to him before. He honestly doesn't really seem to be doing the "typical man" thing to me, as her post indicates that any closeness from anyone might be met with this protection mechanism. Those with avoidant attachment styles, often were expected as children to sacrifice themselves to gain approval and love from parents. So, they experience a lot of fear and anxiety when given love into adulthood. So, for them it's like, the thing that they need most hurts them. It's like trying to drink water when you have scarlet fever and your throat is on fire. Just inviting a bit of nuance into your advice.

Everyone already knows that it's Eckhart. Why even ask such an obvious question?!?!

What I would do in this situation is to let go of any need for things to go in a particular direction, and just follow the situation. Trust the process. So, if he feels like he's not ready for a relationship, then honor that. And if he means a lot to you and you truly care for him as a person, let him know that you'll be there for him even if he isn't interested in a romantic relationship. So, it's basically like releasing hold of a butterfly, and if it comes to perch itself on you again to allow it to. But if not, to refrain from chasing it. It's really about receptivity and surrender to reality as it is, and trusting that life will bring you in the direction you need to go in without getting attached to outcomes. Also, consider that he could have avoidant tendencies and trauma around intimacy. In that case, you'll have to give him space, otherwise he will close up. If love in his childhood came conditioned upon him losing parts of himself, he will naturally recoil from love/intimacy as a result of those wounds. And that's true even if he really cares about you and has romantic feelings toward you. So, foremost, believe him when he tells you these things. And assure him that you will continue to hold space for him regardless of how he feels or what he expresses to you. And don't try to fix him or heal him of this... especially not for selfish reasons like wanting a relationship with him. That's the worst thing you can do. Just hold space for him. It is simply your presence, receptivity, and ability to hold space for him without expectations that may give him contrast with what he's experienced in the past that has made him fear intimacy. And through that contrast, it may give him space to feel comfortable as he will have someone providing unconditional love and presence with him in a way that he may never have gotten before. And again... do this without neediness or expectation of it turning into a relationship. Do it because you genuinely care about him.

That's incorrect in the case of the art world. Skill has little to no relationship to whether or not someone makes it big in the art world. It mostly has to do with connections and the big museums and collectors valuing your stuff. Someone could have an abundance of skill and talent and never get their foot in the door of the art world. Their work may never be seen as high art. But another person could tape a piece of string to a wooden plank and call it art and become famous if the art world accepts it as such... which is done mostly through nepotism and getting the wealthy folk to buy into its value.

Most artists are female. Women outnumber men in fine arts programs 4 to 1. When I went to college, you'd have tons of women but only a few guys in the class. But most famous artists are men.

I would definitely end it with a partner that would stop me from watching a show because of nudity... or for anything really. You can imagine that, if they're banning you from watching a show, that that's just the beginning of their controlling behavior. So, for that person, I would definitely recommend breaking up.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

No. You can also use Stripe.

Zoom is another one.

I haven't watched Leo's videos regularly for the past couple of years, but it isn't because of the length of time. It's because they don't resonate with me anymore. This happens when you're on the path. You'll come in and out of resonance with various teachers. So, it isn't that the videos are too long or too long for you. It's that they don't resonate as much because you've shifted places on the path and/or Leo has shifted places with his teaching.

@Pilgrim It's the vulnerability aspect that you'd mentioned. Really put yourself out on the table and express to him in words exactly what's happening for you internally: the good, the bad, and the ugly. And encourage him to do the same. Come completely to the table and encourage him to do the same. And when he does, hold space for him and receive him fully. And in this, practice unconditional love and devotion, no matter what comes up for him.

You may be projecting unrealized and repressed aspects of yourself onto the other person. So, they become the projection screen for parts of yourself that yourself that you have not realized yet but desperately need and want. And because of this, you will feel like that other person completes you. And you will have a very strong and passionate pull to want to love and commune with that person, as an outgrowth of a desire to love and commune with aspects of yourself that you cannot yet love or commune with. So, the solution is to use your obsessive/passionate feelings for these guys as a springboard into your own self-exploration. And fully give yourself to wanting to love them... but also being conscious that you really just want to love and realize yourself. And they are simply the muse for that. You may even recognize that you learn things about yourself through this process of projecting desire onto them. I would also look into information on Animus integration as well. I have a video on that topic....

@Shaun Also, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my videos!

I do the sessions over Skype. So, it is face to face. But if you wanted to do it to where we were in the same room together, it wouldn't work.

Be careful. You could be using a mix of spiritual and scientific truths to spiritually bypass and repress certain feelings. Or on the more positive side, you may be seeing past a crippling need for validation dressed up as a desire for sex with women. So, just be mindful. You have to really look under the hood to see if this is an "improvement" or not.