Emerald

There are some cross-over traits. But life-coaching is more about helping people remove blocks toward realizing certain potential or goals that they have in life relative to relationships, spirituality, social life, living environment, work, personal growth, etc. So, a psychologist is geared more toward helping facilitate psychological health in general and are equipped to handle major psychological and psychiatric issues, and a life coach is more about helping the person self-explore to remove certain blocks to achieving certain goals and aren't equipped to help with serious psychological/psychiatric conditions.

I was summoned here by @Nahm. I personally offer life-coaching which is different than mentorship a little bit. Mentors tend to give guidance and advice, where life coaches are more like facilitators of inner exploration and help you come to your own conclusions and get more clarity. In my practice, I offer a mix of the two but lean more toward coaching. So, I often will facilitate by asking questions, but I will sometimes interject with personal insights to get them to consider different angles. If you're interested, let me know. I just started five months ago without certification, so I charge only $32/hr at present.

Nobody exists for any reason whatsoever. Existence just is. So, you are correct that, to assume women exist for happiness is a delusion. But to assume women exist for sex is equally a delusion. This is to see women only through the lens of your own wants and needs. So, you're going to be unconscious to any aspect of reality that involves women... which is most of them since human societies are half-comprised of women. As a teenager, I was in a conversation with a really unconscious man who used to work for my dad. And he was really obtuse because he was really unconscious but thought himself to "know what's up." His experience of the world was to look around the world at all the unconscious idiots and to revel in his own supposed intelligence. He was a real Dunning-Kruger. He was talking about how he hated cats and wanted to bury them up to their necks and run over them with a lawnmower. I asked him why he hated cats so much and he said, "Because they are useless animals." So, I asked him what he meant. And he said, "Dogs can be trained to be cops and service dogs. So, dogs have a purpose. But cats have no purpose." So, he truly believed that the world worked in terms of an animal's 'purpose' to the agenda of human beings having something to do with their existential validity. So, in his framework, he saw cats as a mistake and an invalid part of nature because he was only able to see things as valid relative to his own desires and needs. And that's why he delighted in the idea of killing them. But of course, this probably comes back to bite him when he feels like he has no purpose. If he can't function well in his line of work, then at some level he likely feels like he's invalid and should be buried up to the neck and run over with a lawnmower. This is very similar to your mindset in this post. And it will come back to bite you in the end because you'll be trying to value yourself by finding your utility to someone else. And since it doesn't exist, when you can't find it, you'll feel invalid. No one exists for you. Reality just is.

If you have a judgement outward toward them for being unconscious, then you will hide every instance of your own unconsciousness from yourself to avoid the scrutiny that you place upon them. A judgment outward begets judgment inward which causes unconsciousness and repression. So, notice how this line of thinking is rooted in your own unconsciousness. Now, discernment is a bit different than judgment. You can notice when people are unconscious without it being a judgment. But this is only true if you simply notice it. When it ties in with your own idea of being superior to them or above them or invalidating them in some way, that's when it goes from pure discernment to judgment. And this is how your post comes across... like "Ugh! I'm so conscious that I can't even be around girls anymore. They're so unconscious." And it probably comes from wanting to mitigate feelings of low self-worth by convincing yourself that you're better by the standards of consciousness. So, a judgment outward is a repression inward. And this is likely why you can see the splinters in other's eyes and not the log in your own.

If you're not willing to step out of your comfort zone, then you definitely won't find a girl. Plus, at your current state, you're so negative on yourself that no girl is going to want to be with you. It's a huge burden to be with a guy like that who is stuck in his ways, negative, has low self-esteem, and is unwilling to make efforts to improve himself and his life. Getting through life with a person like that is like trying to drag a sack of brick up the side of a mountain. And a man who isn't strong enough to offer support emotionally and otherwise is just an unattractive man. A man who is weak just intuitively strikes a note of sexual disgust in women. In other words, it feels literally gross to be with a guy who is not developed in that way. To give an analogy to what you seem to hope for, it's kind of like a plain woman who smells bad, doesn't try to look nice, and doesn't shave expecting that guys will just be attracted to her based on no other reason than her existing. And then her getting upset that "No guys find my hairiness, B.O., and halitosis attractive." Meanwhile, she could just make the effort to clean herself up a bit and try to look nice and she'd get more men who are attracted to her. For guys, it has to do more with personality than outward appearances in the initial attraction phase. So, it takes a bit more work. But what's positive about this is that this means you have a lot more leeway in terms of how attractive you can be to the opposite sex. A woman can only be so attractive outwardly as this is the nature of looks. But since women tend to like men based on a wide array of traits that are both character-driven and looks-driven, with the former outweighing the latter, there are a lot more factors that you can tinker with if you just put in the effort. Everyone is conditional with their attractions. And women's attraction is based quite a bit upon the level of grit and character that a man has. So, if you lack these things, it is lucky that these are 100% cultivatable traits. You can develop them. You just have to have the gumption to become the best version of yourself. This is the thing that you lack. You lack the grit and gumption to pull yourself out of the self-esteem hole that you're in. But it doesn't have to be that way.

I doubt that most people in Sweden are actually doing this 'theybies" thing. I think it's still quite a fringe thing and will remain as such. Even in America, there is like a FB group of like 200 people who are into the idea. But it's very fringe. So my opinion is that it's quite extreme and unnecessary. I think it would also draw too much attention to something so mundane, thus giving it more meaning that it would have before. So, despite the good intentions, it would likely cause a lot of repressions in a similar way that rigid gender norms do. And literally every single person I know thinks something along these lines... including my gender non-conforming and LGBT friends many of whom are all about questioning gender norms and allowing free expression and choice regardless of gender. But none of them think it's okay to raise a kid as a "theybie". So, I tend to see videos like this as sensationalist in nature. There may be people out there doing this here and there. But the way the video makes it seem is that EVERYONE in Sweden is doing this. And this drums up a lot of fear in people, which can then be exploited by homophobes, trans-phones, and anti-feminists to make the masses fear that "things are getting a little too PC" to try to dial back progress. This can also be exploited by Vice themselves, to get a lot of rage clicks and thus revenue from anyone that clicks on their ads.

What do you do for marketing? Do you get your clients through your channel like I do or through some other venue?

Just go toward what you want. If you want a girlfriend, then there is no harm in that. Abstaining from this will not get you any closer to enlightenment because you're just resisting what is. In fact, it will probably hurt your progress. So, don't pick. You can do both. Listen to your feelings and intuition.

You'll probably want to avoid talking about her looks when you compliment her, since she's probably used to guys telling her that she's beautiful. Instead, tell her that she's smart, funny, stylish, or some other trait when you go to compliment her. Other than that, I don't really think there would be much difference from approaching a really attractive woman versus a cute woman.

This can definitely happen, and it sucks. Prior to my awakenings when I was 20, I had the most iron-clad willpower out of anyone that I knew and I prided myself on this fact. Then, I saw beyond ego and saw that I was really just craving significance and trying to outrun the reaper. And previously unbeknownst to me, my life was a giant ball of suffering for the very reason that I was so industrious and successful in my endeavors. Overall, it's been a positive thing to see through all those illusions. But those awakenings and resulting integrations totally corroded away the foundation for my work ethic which was based mostly upon fear of insignificance. So, I floundered in life for years after these experiences until I was able to find my bearings and rebuild around healthier motivations. (although I'm sure they're still not perfect)

Yes. I believe a yellow military would be focused on defense more generally and not on just defense within their own nation as nationalism is based in an illusion.

It would be a military that's only focused toward defense, as opposed to other motivations that are based in greed, power, and dominance. This military exist only just in case of an attack.

It could very well be that you're at a stage in the journey where listening to spiritual teachings becomes a distraction. Or perhaps you've just gone out of resonance with Leo's teachings in particular, and there are other more appropriate teachers for you now. Not in the sense that you've outgrown Leo, as Leo's teachings may come back into resonance with you later. It's more like the path will lead you to the appropriate teacher for the time if teachings are still appropriate for where you're at. It's important to listen to your intuition about what is most valuable for you to pursue on the path. And it's also important that this determination of resonance happens with the emotions/intuition and not the thinking mind. So, if this is the conclusion that you've come to, did you come to this conclusion from your rational mind and thinking about where you SHOULD be? Or does it comes from losing the sense of expansion you used to get from Leo's teachings/teachings in general? I made a video that's generally about this phenomenon of going in and out of resonance with particular spiritual teachers or just teachings in general. If the teachings are like a map leading you to the place where 'x' marks the spot and you actually find yourself at the place where 'x' marks the spot, then referring back to the map is only a distraction at that point. The task switches them from finding the 'x' to actually digging. Refer to your intuition to know which stage you're at on the path. You may also want to refer to "The Parable of the Raft" which is all about this insight. It's about how you need the raft to cross the river, but once you cross the river, then you should leave the raft because it is not necessary and emcumbers your growth at other stages on the path if you are unwilling to cast it aside when the situation calls for it.

There must be some kind of personal block that you have about the whole thing. Literally, not a single person that I've ever met, is someone that I thought, "That person will never find someone who's interested in them." And I've met people who are really obtuse, unattractive, and a lot of other generally repellant traits. So, I would say to focus more on your own limiting beliefs and see if there's a reason why you're holding on to certain narratives or attitudes. Or perhaps some limiting beliefs about things. Perhaps you even derive a sense of identity out of not being successful. Either way, this is a fixable problem.

What do you think the issue is? Why has nothing worked out?

... or this could be a rationalization to make yourself feel better about your lack of success with women. Like, "Being good with women is a bad thing anyway because it gets in the way of self-actualization, therefore it is those of us men who are unsuccessful with women who are truly the top dogs. So, I'm far more likely to self-actualize than men with a girlfriend or who have a lot of one-night-stands." It's kind of like the awkward plain girl in school soothing herself and hating on the pretty popular girls, and saying "Yeah. Well at least girls like me have better personalities." Meanwhile, she does not have a very good personality herself, and she's overgeneralizing people based upon outward appearance because of jealousy. Clearly, you would really like to have success with women. Don't deny that to yourself or you will end up repressed. So, look into some of the RSD stuff and other healthy forms of dating/romance/approach techniques. You have to get your inner mentality about this right. There is no reason why you couldn't have success with women too. This is the main thing that you have to realize. You are not some social pariah that just can't get a girlfriend, no matter how much propaganda you read that feeds into that delusion. Out of all the nerdy and/or unattractive guys that I've known in my life, literally none of them went past age 20 without having had a girlfriend. The nerdiest and most awkward guy I can think of (who also looked kind of like a heavy-set, real-life version Dexter from Dexter's Lab) got his first girlfriend when he was like 19. So, clearly, it's not your looks or nerdiness or anything else that's keeping you back from what you want. It's just your mindset about yourself, and perhaps a lack of social outlets in general.

This can happen really at any stage for different reasons. I would imagine that it becomes somewhat less prevalent when people reach the second tier though. This is because cheating comes from the dissatisfaction with the romantic status quo and seeking some other new status quo. So, I'd imagine that those in Yellow and above would be more able to accept what is.

The courtship is authentic too, but it's a lot about putting your best foot forward and drawing attention to the positive. It's a similar idea to dressing up when you go on the first date. You're going as yourself but your presenting yourself in a more idealized way. That's the nature of courtship. It involves drawing attention to the positive while minimizing the negative for a fun time and good impression. So, courtship is authentic, but it's kind of like an art. So, it's also very calculated and meant to illicit certain feeling in the other person. Normally, the initial stage lasts 2-3 months. It's linked to our hormones. In the initial stage there is a hormone (I forget the name of it) that causes us to feel a lot of lust, excitement, and infatuation relative to the other person. So, it's that initial hunger for the other person and the giddiness to be with them. And that person is always on your mind and you want to spend as much time as possible with them. So, it's like a crush that's been realized by both individuals. But then, after the first few months pass, this exciting hormone diminishes, and it gives way to a different hormone called Oxytocin. And this is what bonds us. And the feeling is not as exciting but it is incredibly comforting and creates a deeper bond between the two people based in more than just attraction. It's hard to explain how to tell if someone is emotionally dysfunctional. It's an intuitive thing that comes along with self-development. You'll become attracted to whoever most mirrors yourself. So, the best way to avoid emotionally dysfunctional women is to resolve your own emotional dysfunction. But some red flags are flakiness, abusive language, talking poorly about her exes, callousness, bitterness, pushiness, etc. But the best way is to develop yourself and your self-esteem and self-respect, and you will be attracted to and attract women who have done the same.

I mean, you could probably do some self-improvement. There is always potential to be developed. That will give you more mass appeal in general. But think of a person as being like a flower. If a Tulip develops, it just develops into a more awesome Tulip. But it never transforms into a Daisy or Chrysanthemum or Rose. It can only develop what is actual in it to develop. So, if you have a girlfriend that only like Poinsettias, then you as a Tulip shouldn't try to be that for that person. You should find someone who prefers Tulips. Otherwise, you'll live your life pretending to be something you're not.

Well, it just depends on who you're around and if they're really a match to you. Also, my husband and I had been together for a few months before we settled into our life together. So, that's when we started being more open and the relationship became more about connection than about the initial attraction dynamic. That's why I said that, "if it's a real relationship" then your concerns won't be an issue. A relationship is basically a really deep friendship once it gets past the initial attraction dynamic. So, authenticity is 100% necessary. Otherwise, you can't relax into the situation. You're always going to be performing a facade. Prior to this settling in period, everything is just for fun and it's all about forging the heat of an attraction. So, a lot of times getting too emotional in the initial phases can be a red flag because it can reveal too much attachment and clinginess. Women are also attracted to more stoic men who can hold their emotions and are not controlled by them. So, it may douse the flames that are forging you together. So, timing is important too. So, it could be that you started being too emotional too soon before the initial stage was over. Now, authenticity is still necessary in the initial stage, but you still want to put your best foot forward as it's all about courtship. Now, of course, there can just be women out there that are toxic or dysfunctional who would perceive a man having emotions as a weakness. But you don't want to be with them anyway, as they will drag your life down. You should be with someone who accepts you and sees you having feelings as normal. Otherwise, you're way better off alone than with someone you have to constantly pretend around.

My husband is actually a very emotional kind of person, so he shares his emotions with me nearly every day. He suffers from anxiety and it helps him to talk to me about it. So, he does share quite frequently. And he's at his most stable and calm when he does because he's not in the emotions when he shares. He's in the observing mindset about it instead of reacting down in the emotion. So, the ability to share emotions instead of reacting from them is a totally different thing. Sharing from the emotions and communicating them before there is a reaction and an over-taking of emotion, is actually what helps people develop equanimity in relation to their emotions. When I imagine a really mature masculine man, I imagine a person who can communicate his internal workings accurately and with a sense of equanimity and honesty. Plus, he knows that I'm not going to judge him for his anxiety as long as he is respectful to me. So, the sense of not being judged by the person you're in a relationship with is very important to being able to share this way. And if there isn't a lack of judgment, then it isn't a real relationship. Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn't feel like you needed to perform a facade to maintain it? If not, you've never been in a real relationship.

No one is a leader in general... but a person could be a leadership type in the sense that they can easily inspire others toward certain goals through good interpersonal skills as well as the ability to create, commit to, communicate, and actualize a vision. But you can only be a leader in relation to a particular goal. So, you have to have a particular vision that you excel in moving toward. Then get other people on board with your vision that are of like mind. Attract your tribe and lead them toward that goal. And be the person that people come to for answers about how to better walk the path toward that goal.

The feelings are correct, so you must surrender to them. There is no such thing as value, meaning, significance, "having a point", purpose, or anything else of this nature outside of the human mind. These are merely the measuring sticks that people must use to deal with 99.9% of tasks. They are only of practical value but tell you nothing of how things are existentially. This is what causes existential crisis. People go looking for meaning in a universe that doesn't have any meaning, because they think their measuring sticks are the thing that determines validity. So, if we can't define the value/meaning/significance/point/etc. of reality itself, then we think this means that everything is invalid. We have learned that things that have no meaning are invalid. But this is not true. Human projection of meaning doesn't make something valid or invalid. Everything is already valid. And our human measuring sticks are inadequate to fathom of reality. So, reality is neither meaningful nor meaningless. It is simply empty of the concept of meaning that the human mind believes is so important, since it needs that for practical functioning. But meaning is only in the mind and nowhere else. Likewise, reality is neither significant nor insignificant, neither having purpose nor having no point, neither important nor unimportant. The concepts are not adequate to fathom of reality. So, embrace these feelings of meaninglessness and surrender to them so that you can transcend the illusion of meaning, value, significance, and purpose. Then you will be free from the prison of your attachment to your measuring sticks.

Simple.... Kill the Batman ?

It's a result of scarcity mindset and a low sense of self-worth that creates a deep insecurity in you. And that insecurity translates outwardly as jealousy, possessiveness, desperation, clinginess, self-importance, and feelings of entitlement toward women who aren't involved with you.