Emerald

First rule of the Shin cult is you don't talk about Shin cult! Second rule of the Shin cult is...

Purpose is not an aspect of reality beyond what the human mind labels. Reality is empty of purpose and purposelessness. So, if a person constructs a life purpose, they will have one. If they do not construct one, they will not. But there is nothing existentially more valid about deciding on a life purpose or not deciding on a life purpose. Both are perfectly valid. And circumstances are circumstances, some of them are less favorable on the individual human level, but none of them mean anything about a person's worth.

Well, at least we already know what the audition process will be...

One thing to keep in mind is that you'll probably have to have an audition process for your school and the parents would probably have to pay a lot of money for their kid to attend in order to fund such a school. So, you're going to have to be in the market to attract the wealthiest and most gifted students. That's especially true if you want to keep the school size as low as 100 students. There are also certain acts and statutes that must be adhered to, such as EAHCA which guarantees an education to all children regardless of disability. So, private schools also have to adhere to this to get federal and state funding. So, if you have an audition-based school for high performers, then you'd likely not qualify for that funding (or at least not as much) and would rely on high tuition rates and funding from wealthy donors. Also, you'd want to consult a lot of literature about child psychology. It sounds like a nice idea to have an actualization-based curriculum taught from kindergarten onward, but you have to be really clear about what actualization looks like at each age. Actualization at age 4 just looks like interactive playtime. Chances are that the elementary schoolers would need an education similar to what they're getting now, as this is highly tailored to their unique needs. I think the self-actualization stuff would be nice to begin weaving in a little bit in middle school, and focused more heavily on once a student reaches about 10th grade. Kids have to crawl before they can walk and walk before they can run. --- Also, you want to consider the intelligence factor. What I've learned from being a teacher is that my needs as a high functioning and ambitious student are not the needs of everyone. There is a huge range of aptitudes and levels of intelligence relative to academic pursuits. It's just like athletic ability. You can develop it quite a bit. But there are naturally gifted athletes, and there are people (like me) who will never be gifted athletes no matter how hard they work at it. In school, I always viewed education as a path toward self-betterment and learning. And I was often upset by the degree everything was watered down. I had assumed everyone was able to function like me... if they would just put in the effort. So, I had a very libertarian-esque view of education in general. Like, "If they work hard, they'll get good grades. If they have bad grades, then they deserve them." So, to me, education was a competition and a means toward self-actualization... to which I thought public education did a piss-poor job. But being on the other side of the desk made it very clear that I was seeing education through the distorted lens of privilege that me and maybe the top 10% of learners think that the education was for people like us (which we assumed was everyone) and that it served us poorly. And that everyone who wasn't able to compete were just slackers who weren't competing well in the game I had assumed we all were playing. But as a teacher, I was able to see that students who get Fs often get them because they just don't get the work, no matter how hard they try. And there are kids with borderline IQs of 75-80 who are also taking this classes and having similar expectations put upon them because they don't quite qualify as mentally challenged. And you'd never guess that about these students because they just seem like another kid in class. There are kids in the 12th grade with 1st grade reading levels, who try their hardest. And then a bunch of politicians who haven't been in a classroom since they were a student 30 years ago and try to hold teachers more accountable to fix that problem. This is probably because they were likely high functioning students and still have the same naive ideas that I had as a high functioning student since they never had reality check them on those ideas. Sometimes there are kids that just aren't good at understanding high concepts, just like some kids will never be able to slam dunk a basketball. It's just that cerebral academic performance is an expectation and playing basketball is not an expectation. And if I think about the idea of putting a rigorous actualization-based curriculum out to general public, for this very reason, I know this just won't work when the rubber meets the road. The concepts that Leo goes over aren't going to be grasped by over 50% of the student population, AT ALL. And then, only the top 10% will get a really good understanding of it. So, this is why you'd have to make it a school that the brightest students can audition for. And this also leads to needing to have high tuition rates as well as money from wealthy donors, since you probably won't be able to get any kind of federal funding. So, if your goal is to influence a handful of students who are already likely to thrive, then your school will be a great enrichment for them before they go off to some Ivy League college. But if your goal is to really make huge changes on the societal level, you'll have to tweak your vision so that it can have a greater impact on the masses. And you would have to interject self-actualization concepts at the correct developmental times and be sure that it's put in a way that's simple and understandable to most people. Not everyone can be a Jedi. And if you don't know this, you'll screw over 80% of the student body and their needs if you invite the general populace in.

The math analogy fits really well. Children need simple answers to create a working model of reality that fits their developmental stage. So, this is why blue in Spiral Dynamics is really important for children to learn. So, giving them a lot of blacks and whites and simplified answers early on, and then adding more nuances as they question things about reality is probably the best way to give kids a good start in life. They need meaning to solidify their existence in the world, but can later transcend the need for rigid meaning and eventually maybe meaning altogether.

If you mean the people who decide to raise their kids without gender, then yes. They want to liberate their kids from gender as a social construct because they see it as a prison. But as you said, I think of it more as addressing the symptom and not the disease itself. This is because most people will often gravitate toward things that correspond to gender just naturally. So, to discourage gender at a very young age could discourage a child from going toward things they really want to and identifying how they'd like to. So, genderlessness in a sense could become a rigid gender role in and of itself, if a child knows that genderlessness pleases the parent. And they may feel their parents have a resistance toward polarization. I think if they were to really want to liberate their children from gender constraints, they shouldn't really draw too much attention to gender or being genderless. Then just allow the kids to pick whatever they want to play with or wear. But stick to the binary concept of boy and girl as a simple black and white that children can draw about their own gender at an early age because children need simple answers about their identity early on. But you can also tell the kids later on when they're like 4-6 that some people identify as a different gender than what they were assigned at birth and that that's okay. And that some people don't feel like a boy or girl at all. I know my daughter took this information very matter-of-factly. And it didn't effect how she saw herself. But just that little bit allows her to realize that there different ways that people can conceptualize of gender, and that if she feels different in some way that she can always do the same. So, no need to chunk out polarized gender, since it does resonate with most people.

Fun post! I've met Teal Swan a couple years ago at a workshop she was putting on. I joined a small group at a park of about 20 people, and she was answering various questions. I got a chance to talk with her for a while. But I was very conflicted. I was very grateful for everything that she shared in her videos but I also have a lot of resistance to her because of her demeanor and the rumors surrounding her. But I have a lot of dreams with her in it where I'm always trying to get involved with something she's already got going on with other people. So, I suspect that the resistance has a lot more to do with what she represents to me than how she actually is... like a shadow thing. I've talked to Leo a bunch of times on here. But I suspect that in person our interaction would be pretty chilled out and nonchalant. Maybe talk about consciousness work, maybe not. My guess is that he'd be a bit less intense than in his videos, and that it would be a pretty calm interaction. With Eckhart Tolle, I've never met him, but I just enjoy his jolly but quiet demeanor. I feel like I would have a lot of questions for him, and would almost be wanting more of a mentor/student interaction than a one to one friendly sort of interaction. And I feel like I'd really want to just be around him.

My craziest synchronicity happened when I was 17. I was living, at the time, with my then-boyfriend. And we were up late getting stoned with our friends Andrew and Robin. So, it was like 1 am and nothing is open in my home town because it's very small. But we get the munchies and decide we want to go to Steak n' Shake in the next town over because it's the closest 24 hour restaurant. So, we leave in the car and not a single soul is on the road but us. But I just got this thought, "We're going to get into a car accident." So, I start telling them this like it's a fact, like "Hey guys. Buckle your seatbelts. We're about to get into a car accident." And they're kind of brushing me off like "Sure." And I'm urging them to please put on their seatbelts. I finally get Robin, who was sitting in the back seat with me to put it on. About five minutes later we get to a random red light. And again, there's still no one on the road. Then I see a pair of headlights coming from behind us, quite a ways back. And I thought, "This guy's not going to stop. He's going rear end us." And so I braced myself, and "BOOM!" The guy practically used us as his brakes. He totally messed up the back end of the vehicle but we were all okay. The guy was totally drunk too. And we were upset and he was like, "Well, there's no reason you guys should be mad. My car got a lot more messed up than yours." (And we were like 'seriously?!?!?') Then, we just decided to go to Stake n Shake without calling the cops on the guy as long as he agreed to pay the damages (which he did a few days later). But he wanted to actually come and eat with us at Stake n' Shake. Anyway, it was definitely the craziest synchronicity that I've ever experienced.

Was it my video... or is this a synchronicity? I released a video on synchronicity today. So, it'd be a crazy coincidence if you happened to find another video on synchronicity.

Probably a mix between warrior, mother, and wisdom woman with a dash of fool thrown in there.

I've experienced negative entities in astral projection, so I say that it's potentially true that this is the case if I'm to assume that he reality is astral is a real reality. In astral, I've had invisible entities drag me off the bed, pose as people that I know and try to get me to go into a room with several of them (all of whom took on the form of a family member of mine), and when I was a teenager, one of the entities posed as my then-boyfriend and bit me really hard on the shoulder. Then, one of them, I saw but he didn't do anything... like he was not really interested in me. That said, I do think it's important to look into physiological reasons for things like chronic fatigue as well. But it certainly couldn't hurt to do some practices to raise the vibration in case there really are dark entities that can have parasitic attachments to us.

If given the choice between feeling loved or turned on, most women would choose feeling loved. This is because the nature of how women get attractions versus the way men get attractions. Since women have a lot more at stake in getting into a sexual relationship with a man than vice versa, and women can have far fewer children than a man can, there are more firewalls up. So, for a woman to really be genuinely attracted to a man, he has to stimulate her sexually, emotionally, and mentally. And all three have to be activated at once... otherwise it's just not worth getting into it with that guy. So, all three of these factors have to be in place. And because the sexual stimulation is the last to occur among the three, a man won't be able to turn a woman on without all three in place. He will only be able to attract dysfunctional women who are lonely or desperate and will choose a man she's not attracted to just to have company. Being an asshole will make you extra attractive to women in this vulnerable psychological state. But this is when sex and relationships become mere sexual transactions and it's more like mutual masturbation than anything else. It's nothing stellar. And no woman is interested in this kind of sex. But it makes sense that you have the sexual attraction first since this is how it happens for men. So, you assume that women are similar in that way when they are totally different. For a man, because women are the more selective of the two sexes, he has to keep his attractions fairly broad and non-selective. And because of this the initial attraction is best very shallow and detached from outcome. The main thing is just to find someone, and you can pass on your genes. So, the sexual comes first for him. That's how his initial attractions spring about. And if a man is under-developed and not fully emotionally mature, then sexuality will be as far as an attraction ever goes. But men like this are a dime a dozen and aren't attractive to most women. Women prefer more emotionally mature men because they are a lot more present and the sexual experience and relationship experience is much more intimate. But once a mature man who is not in conflict with his heart or mind, finds a woman that he loves, then his sexual energy will transmute upward toward his heart and mind and will match the initial attraction that the woman feels who already had all three boxes checked off. And that's when the deep bonding can occur. So, women's attractions start in the mind, then travel to the heart, and eventually get to the loins. Men's attractions start in the loins, then travel to the heart, and eventually get into the mind. This is why women are always asking men what they're thinking about when they like him. Her goal is to get inside his head. And it's also why women have an easier time falling in love, since the loins have a really strong pull and can more easily bring the energy down from the mind through the heart and to the sexual organs. Whereas, men's seat of attraction is already in the loins, and the strong pull makes it more difficult to transmute that energy upward toward the heart and mind.

One thing that I want to give you as a caveat... Having the motivation to have harmony in your relationships with women can get in the way of progress, as you're still externalizing the Anima. So, it's very important that you don't just have the motivation to use the Anima for some other external purpose. You have to desire wholeness in yourself for the sake of wholeness itself. And if you succeed with Anima integration, it won't only create more harmony with your relationships with women... it will create a relationship internally between the conscious mind and the unconscious. And from this, you'll get clarity and a well-spring of wisdom and insights. So, it's a matter of creating a dynamic relationship between the masculine and feminine within yourself where the two are in constant intercourse, which produces a lot of energy and gives birth to ever exalted versions of yourself. And that energy as it accrues exalts the sexual/libidinal energy upward and reaching toward higher consciousness outlets. So, instead of having sex, you are being sex. Now, of course, you could always choose to have relationships and sex. There is not conflict there. It's just that this won't be seen as the only outlet for your libidinal energy to take shape and will no longer be a requirement for communion with the feminine.

I'm most likely going to hit 19,000 subscribers on my YT channel today, and I will hit 1 million views on my channel in the next week or so. In the past couple days, I've been growing a lot and instead of getting 15-30 subs per day, I'm getting 70-100 subs per day. In the past couple days, I've also been getting about 100-140 views per hour as opposed to the 30-70 views per hour that I would normally get. I also have recently made life-coaching my full-time job, and I'm making about twice as much doing that as I did in my 9 to 5, even though I'm charging very low prices since I'm just starting with it. Once I get certified, I will raise my prices and can easily make three or four times what I'm making now. This is something that's in the works for the coming year. I also have plans in the works to create a course to offer through my website, which I plan to roll out around summer time. So, I feel that currently I'm modestly successful, and I expect that I will be even more successful in the coming year if I continue to work hard and expand upon what I have. Also, it's really helped me socially since I get to connect with a lot of like-minded people. And I get a tangible sense of contribution since a lot of people seem to really get a lot from my videos and coaching. So, it's a success on those levels as well.

The Anima is the inner woman in every man. So, if a man has not integrated the Anima and cultivated a harmonious relationship with that aspect of himself, it will become dis-integrated. And when that happens, the man will encounter similar issues to the one you described on the more moderate end... or at the more extreme he will become very misogynistic, always projecting scary monsters onto women. I recommend looking into Jung's works that deal with the repressed Anima, and what it entail to have a feminine repression. Real femininity in its full depth and breadth is very dis-similar from the cultural conception of femininity. So, it is our unconsciousness as a species relative to the feminine principle that causes a lot of people (especially men) to have a dis-integrated feminine side. Mainly, we just don't know exactly what it is yet collectively, though there are people here and there who have explored this and are aware. Also, reading up on Yin and Yan is very important as well. You can also look into the works of various spiritual teachers working under the Jungian framework that deal with the feminine principle and the unconscious like Jean Raffa, Merlin Stone, Marian Woodman, John Sanford, Jean Shinoda Bolen, June Singer, Robert A. Johnson, Maureen Murdoch, and a bunch of others in the same genre.

My resolution is to bring my schedule more into balance with regard to cooking, cleaning, family time, my channel/coaching, leisure, consciousness work, and self care. I tend to lose a lot of hours just meandering a bit where I feel like I should be doing something but then just not knowing what, and ending up not doing anything. But at the same time, this time isn't really leisurely time. It's time where I've just lost track. So, my resolution is to become more aware of what has to be done in the day versus what I would like to do. Then, also being able to tell what I should stop doing.

1. She has always been a bitch since being rejected. The difference is that she's now closer to the surface of consciousness, so you can detect it. Before this process was unconscious to you, but still afflicting you in many ways. So, it's not that she's become more of a bitch since getting more space. It's that she's a bitch because she's been rejected, and now her cries and screams for integration are getting though more. 2. Repressed Animus/masculine side can cause a lot of issue with the Anima. So, integrating and realizing your masculine side is very important to be able to integrate the Anima. 3. The desire for connection with women and validation will decrease to a normal level the more you integrate the Anima. The Anima projects in dual way when it wants to be integrated. It's the bitch that projects images of power, spite, and rejection of your being onto women. But it's also the seductress that tempts you toward women and feel like you need to have that connection. And most assume that it's just pure sexual desire or some other analogous desire. But the lion's share of this feeling of neediness comes from the Anima trying to entice you to integrate it into yourself by projecting onto women as a whole group. 4. I would suppose that if this is a really strong obsession, that it would also be coming from a disintegrated Anima. The Anima will project images of validation and communion with women, that FEELS like it will be the solution to all your problems. But what would actually solve them is to look away from the projection and directly toward the projector, and this is when you can actually release resistance to the feminine and your more prevalent masculine side can have that feminine communion within yourself. And this will make you more whole.

@billiesimon It may not seem like it but it's probably a sign of progress. This is classic Anima possession (to which most people are on this spectrum due to deep conditionings and the current societal set-point relative to the feminine). And this isn't just true for men. Most women are in resistance to the feminine as well. And it takes a lot to reintegrate it. I've been working on this for nearly a decade and I still have a long way to go. It's hard to step out of a trend that's been going on across cultures since the beginning of agrarian living. It's one of the toughest nuts to crack. You can see this reflected in the current state of society, where half are really trying to reintegrate the feminine and the other half are really trying to double down their efforts toward feminine repression. The repressed and spurned Anima projects itself out onto women as a whole group. Since it has been rejected, it's goal is to make the rejecter also feel a deep sense of rejection. But it also wants to be integrated so it makes you crave the sexual communion with a woman as a symbol of that desire. And you'll crave it beyond simply what is instinctual. But the reason why I say this is progress is because now your issue is more apparent to you. You are more conscious of it. This means it's closer to reintegration than it was before, even though it seems like a step backward. Before you were probably too identified with goodness to see this internal split and all the ill-will toward yourself and women that it produces, and all the fear and anger toward the feminine. One thing that I grapple with constantly is that I have a ton of anti-feminine/anti-woman beliefs and feelings. And I've made a lot of progress toward letting them go and making room for feminine integration. And this has enabled me to be more receptive and accepting of things, as well as many other traits that I had trouble with before. But I still have plenty that hang out and many insecurities around being a woman and accepting my femininity, due to my patriarchal upbringing. So, just know that the spurned Anima is a bitch. She is passive aggressive and wants to hurt you as bad as you've hurt her. And now that she has more wiggle room because you're more conscious and allowing more space for her, know that these upheavals may become more frequent. This is part of the integration process. So, just be mindful and notice what these fantasies have to tell you about yourself.

Well, I'm glad that you know of my work and seem to enjoy it.

Haha! I appreciate that. Did you not realize I was me before? Or are you joking? It's hard to tell through text.

Awesome!

Certainly that's true. But my point was that psychologists are equipped to handle more serious issues and life-coaches don't typically have that kind of training.

There are some cross-over traits. But life-coaching is more about helping people remove blocks toward realizing certain potential or goals that they have in life relative to relationships, spirituality, social life, living environment, work, personal growth, etc. So, a psychologist is geared more toward helping facilitate psychological health in general and are equipped to handle major psychological and psychiatric issues, and a life coach is more about helping the person self-explore to remove certain blocks to achieving certain goals and aren't equipped to help with serious psychological/psychiatric conditions.

I was summoned here by @Nahm. I personally offer life-coaching which is different than mentorship a little bit. Mentors tend to give guidance and advice, where life coaches are more like facilitators of inner exploration and help you come to your own conclusions and get more clarity. In my practice, I offer a mix of the two but lean more toward coaching. So, I often will facilitate by asking questions, but I will sometimes interject with personal insights to get them to consider different angles. If you're interested, let me know. I just started five months ago without certification, so I charge only $32/hr at present.

Nobody exists for any reason whatsoever. Existence just is. So, you are correct that, to assume women exist for happiness is a delusion. But to assume women exist for sex is equally a delusion. This is to see women only through the lens of your own wants and needs. So, you're going to be unconscious to any aspect of reality that involves women... which is most of them since human societies are half-comprised of women. As a teenager, I was in a conversation with a really unconscious man who used to work for my dad. And he was really obtuse because he was really unconscious but thought himself to "know what's up." His experience of the world was to look around the world at all the unconscious idiots and to revel in his own supposed intelligence. He was a real Dunning-Kruger. He was talking about how he hated cats and wanted to bury them up to their necks and run over them with a lawnmower. I asked him why he hated cats so much and he said, "Because they are useless animals." So, I asked him what he meant. And he said, "Dogs can be trained to be cops and service dogs. So, dogs have a purpose. But cats have no purpose." So, he truly believed that the world worked in terms of an animal's 'purpose' to the agenda of human beings having something to do with their existential validity. So, in his framework, he saw cats as a mistake and an invalid part of nature because he was only able to see things as valid relative to his own desires and needs. And that's why he delighted in the idea of killing them. But of course, this probably comes back to bite him when he feels like he has no purpose. If he can't function well in his line of work, then at some level he likely feels like he's invalid and should be buried up to the neck and run over with a lawnmower. This is very similar to your mindset in this post. And it will come back to bite you in the end because you'll be trying to value yourself by finding your utility to someone else. And since it doesn't exist, when you can't find it, you'll feel invalid. No one exists for you. Reality just is.