Emerald

Yes, that’s my point. Too many men hold the misconception that it’s a feminine instinct to be attracted to men who are barbaric. And they think this because there are so many women dealing with trauma and as a result are prone to attracting/ being attracted to these barbaric kind of guys. My point is to encourage men to parse the difference between nature and nurture. And to parse the difference between what will give them success with traumatized women and what’s genuinely a reflection of the Divine Masculine... which is the real aphrodisiac.

It's mostly because the image most people have in their mind about an authentically spiritual person is that they live a meager life. There is the image in collective consciousness of the ascetic yogi that lives on the street and wears rags. And anything that's more affluent feels to most people like it's not authentic. Or there's a thought that spiritual people SHOULD be above human needs, and if they aren't then they're not that spiritual. But of course, human beings all have the need for food, water, shelter, etc. Money currently is the means to get these things.

I know my channel is quite a bit smaller than yours as I only have 49k subs at this point. But I'd love to do a collaboration with you. Let me know if you'd be interested.

Just no. That would be super creepy.

You’d be wisest to be the one to reach out since you’re the avoidant one.

The first thing I’d recommend looking into is the 5 love languages if you haven’t already. Also, intimacy is all about understanding the other person deeply and being understood. So, learning to communicate and listen thoroughly is an important skill to learn.

When I began the discussion, I had assumed you to be around my age and I was primarily trying to show you how the assumption on the original post is incorrect in my experience. And I will often post on posts that are discouraging of female empowerment for the sake of any girls/women who might be passing through who might have low self-esteem and stuff like that... who might actually suppress their interests fearing it will make them less attractive. That was the original intention. But then I read through and realized your age and lack of relationship experience. And I also heard you say something to the effect that you avoid relationship because you want to stay together with the first person you’re in a relationship with. And this is a losing strategy. You have to find out what you actually want in a relationship. And that’s not something that you can discover in the abstract. You might believe you like this dynamic in your mind. But often, the reality doesn’t give you what you were expecting in the ideal. Basically, you’re sacrificing personal experience of reality and the ability to learn about yourself and grow in favor of an ideal that you may end up finding unfulfilling anyway. This is a sexual example that I’m using as an analogy, but it holds up. When I was a teenager before I had had sex or a relationship, I had certain ideas in my head about what I would like sexually. And it was mostly based on the references I’d seen to certain positions and stuff like that. And then, in the experience of my first sexual relationship, I discovered that I liked totally different things from what I thought I would. And this was also true in all the non-sexual aspects of relationship too. This was just the example that was easiest to illustrate. You learn these things about yourself in relationship in ways you could never do without the experience. And that initial charge you get in the beginning of an attraction is just a flash in the pan, and it won’t tell you about what you really want in a full-fledged relationship.

Thank you for the kind words! ?

I do think it’s most common for college educated men to seek out college educated women. There tends to be congruence among partners. So, even at that, parity of education level tends to be valued. I find that, in being cold approached, it’s anyone. But I’ve never been open to that type of interaction, so I don’t know. The way attractions tend to work for me is that I’ll be involved in some social context where I interact with the same people very often. Then, after 2 or 3 months, I’ll develop feelings for one of the men in the group. And we either spark something up or we don’t. So, I wouldn’t typically be finding myself attracted to men who are worlds different from me. But what I notice is that men project their own dating concerns into women. It’s men’s challenge to attract women and have mass appeal. And so they’re trying to tell women how to attract men... assuming this is even an issue we come up against. But women’s issue isn’t attracting... its filtering and sorting... and knowing what you want and don’t want. So, giving women a “How to attract men” advice comes off as silly. Be however you are and the men will sort themselves. And you’ll be more likely to find your match. Try to be a certain way to attract men, and you’ll end up with the wrong kind of man.

Yeah, that’s really the paradigm it grows from. And the only advice they have to give is for women to conform to stage blue standards. But all that would do is guarantee that you could attract a stage blue guy which most women on here don’t resonate with in the first place.

This is not a relevant topic to the conversation and it’s definitely a derailment tactic because you know deep down that I’m right about you not having authority to speak on matters you’ve never experienced ... But yes, I am qualified to speak on these matters because I’ve had direct experience. First off, I never shared anything that I’d never experienced. And my videos on enlightenment were always from the perspective of being a seeker on the path. But I experienced total dissolution of ego last year and then came back into ego. And it was shown to me to show me that enlightenment from the Gods-eye view is meaningless. And it was clear that the purpose of my life was to surrender deeply to my human embodiment and to act as an extension of mercy within maya. So, because of my experience, I no longer seek. There is nothing to be sought. But I disagree with you advising women on relationship matters when you have no experience, to start with. If women actually followed your ideas, they’d run their life and the quality of their relationship prospects into a ditch. But for you more specifically, I’m trying to show you that relationships don’t follow your internal script. And if you cling to this script, you won’t get what you want.

Yeah, I’ve never run into a man I was attracted to who was liking me until I revealed my career or goals to him. It’s just never happened. The intuition does a good job at sorting. But yeah, people tend to attract and be attracted to those on the same wavelength. So, I just haven’t been involved with any hyper-traditional men nor would I ever want to be.

The problem is that you’re telling women that most men feel this way and giving advice as though it has some kind of authority. You’ve not just been sharing a preference of yours and saying that it’s yours. You’re implying that your preference is universal and something that women should keep in mind, as though it’s relevant to us. And keep in mind that this forum is a bit of an echo chamber. And because it relates to personal development with a masculine slant, it attracts a lot of guys who are too in their head, who have low self-esteem, and have trouble attracting women. So, it’s not really a surprise that many men on here would feel uncomfortable with successful women. But why would I cater to that insecurity when I can find a man who’s on my wavelength. But you are living in a fairy tale idea of relationships right now. And the sooner you realize that, the better your ability to have actual relationships will be. You’re going to run into the same laundry-list dilemma that I mentioned before in relation to women. So, I won’t sugarcoat it for you. You are in a fairy tale. Go get some actual experience with women, then come back to me and tell me what you learn about yourself and your preferences.

Yes exactly. Too much theorizing, based on distorted notions about women, femininity, relationships, and family. You have to live these experiences to glean the wisdom and perspective. The truth of the matter is that he won’t even know what he wants until he experiences the real thing.

But you’d be wise to question your own authority in providing relationship advice to women because... You’ve never had a serious relationship You’re in your early 20s You’re not a woman and thus aren’t aware of the ACTUAL issues women face in trying to find a partner All of your ideas about relationship and the relationship issues that women face are abstract and non-experiential But I’m sure my 10 extra years of life experience and 15 years of relationship experience and 9.5 years of motherhood wouldn’t provide any valuable insights into dating, marriage, and family. Best to keep ahold of your fairy tale... I mean, it seems to have been working out so far. Right?

Now, I have 10 years of experience on you. Keep that in mind. I’ll be 32 in a couple days. And I’ve spent 15 years of my life in committed relationships. One of those relationships my longest ones were 4 years and 9 years. That’s 15 years of relationship experience... compared to you having never been in a committed relationship before. So you might be wise to have a listen. So, I think this is what will happen. You’ll have all these specific standards and abstract ideas about women and relationships and how the world works that aren’t based in reality. And because you’re so hung up on these ideas in your head, you won’t be able to interface with the reality as it is. And you’ll fail to make an intimate connection with any woman at all. And as such, you likely won’t end up with the family you desire. Too much strategy, projection, and mind stuff... not enough heart. Also, you keep asserting that this is a universal preference that men don’t want successful women. But it isn’t. Passionate men typically want a passionate partner who is compatible with him. And being a very driven woman I can tell you that I’ve never had any issues finding a man who shares my values and who’s invested in me. Now, do other stage blue men exist? Yes. Are they the majority? No. So, there is no shortage of compatible men. Don’t fear monger with the “Do you wanna die alone?” thing. As long as a woman is attuned to her intuition and heart and is open, she won’t have trouble attracting a partner.

@Consept I know that’s what you’re saying. A few other guys are saying otherwise. They’re actually arguing that successful women are less appealing. But I tagged you because you were involved in the earlier conversation and I wanted to address this point. The OP’s premise that women believe they can use their career success for the purpose of attracting men or that women pursue career to attract men is incorrect in the first place. Women pursue career for reasons independent of relationship concerns. And I’m certain that nearly all women aren’t under the assumption that their career success will act as an aphrodisiac,

I have always been really excited to go towards what interests me. So, my interests, and by extension, my interest in my career has never had much to do with trying to get a relationship. But if a man is threatened by my interests and career, then it’s a good sign that he’s not the right man for me either because of incompatibility or because of him being threatened by my empowerment. Men who are insecure tend to like to keep their women small because they fear they’re not dominant enough or desirable enough if they don’t diminish her. But a man who is truly confident and secure in himself, won’t feel shaken by my passion. When a man is truly in his king energy, he will support his woman in her queenhood. But most people don’t love their work. It’s important to understand that most working women aren’t making a Feminist statement. The lady working 60 hours a week at Burger King has no other choice. And these women would probably adore to stay at home with their kids if they had the opportunity. So, categorizing women working as a Feminist thing or competing with men is a total misread of the situation. Most women work as a means to an end. Poor and working class women have always had to work... long before Feminism was even a thing. So, if the men on this thread really want a woman not to work, then you have to start making enough to support an entire household on a single income.

I only spend like 25-30 hours a week on my career if that. I work for myself, from home. My job consists of life-coaching over Zoom and making videos for my YT channel (which I tend to slack off on). And some passive income too. So, I’m not really killing myself to make ends meet. Maybe I’d feel different or struggle to be well-balanced if I were working like 60 hours a week at a job I hate.

@intotheblack @Raptorsin7 @Consept @Preety_India “Also what is being assumed here is that said woman is striving for success for the purpose of believing that this will help her attract a man. Or that if the woman is successful it must mean she’s not as physically attractive so is choosing career to try and make herself more attractive (in the way that men do) which I don’t think is the case, for women they are doing that more out or choice, not because they think it will attract more men.” This is also important to realize in relation to the original post. Women generally aren’t going into careers for the purpose of attracting men. They do so either out of necessity or because it’s what really lights their fire. I can say from experience that my desire to follow my passions, which is something I’ve always been oriented to even as a little kid, is all about the excitement and fulfillment found within the engagement of the passion itself. There’s never been a thought process of, “Okay, I’m going to develop this super successful career and the men are gonna love me.” The life-purpose has never been a bargaining chip for some other desired outcome. The life-purpose itself is the desired outcome.

Are you saying that most people are not like me? Is that what you mean? Regardless of how similar or dis-similar people are to me, my entire point is that a woman would be using an unwise relationship-seeking strategy to forego career/Individuation for the purpose of attracting a partner. It’s said by many men on this thread that they prefer a woman who only focuses on home and family and that success will hurt a woman’s relationship prospects. And there is an implication of advice to women that foregoing career would be a good strategy for finding a high quality partner. But my entire point is that this is a terrible strategy for both life satisfaction and relationship seeking. In my experience, developing yourself fully (including career) is the best strategy for attracting a compatible, high quality partner... and it’s also a great strategy for scaring off incompatible and low quality partners. And it’s important for all women to know this. They would be wise to know that they don’t have to stunt themselves and their growth to attract a man. In fact, keeping themselves small is a good strategy for attracting the wrong kind of man. Shine your light fully and brightly and do what speaks to you in your heart of hearts and you will become a beacon for potential partners who are on the same wavelength.