Emerald

I’ll actually answer the prompt now… These are the qualities that I ascribe to great women… Personal Sovereignty (Queen Archetype) Intuition Sensitivity Wisdom Empathy Connection Social Accuity Creativity Decisiveness Good communicator Conscious Integrity Centeredness and unshakable confidence Community oriented

Great video about a Japanese concept that explains masculinity. It’s the explanation I’ve heard that’s most in alignment with how I’ve experienced Divine Masculine both in and out of my Ayahuasca experiences.

Your whole list revolves around how men react to women’s qualities. It’s not really based in any practical solutions, as you claim. It’s the positive quality… then grousing about how women usually don’t measure up to that quality… and then the consequences of men disapproving of the women who don’t measure up to that quality. You may want to check your shadow motivations. In response to the great man thread, you created an entire thread to complain about women and imply the threat of losing men’s approval… under the guise of general personal development advice. And you asked specifically for male opinions… when the other thread was for anyone to reply to.

I’m not so sure about the quality of this test. Sometimes I wanted to choose both or neither answers. I ended up getting a 16… but I feel like I could have easily gotten a 12 or a 20 if I just chose slightly different answers that would have also fit. Edit: I retook it twice… I got 11 if I erred toward the more modest answer that resonated and 24 if I erred toward the less modest answer that resonated.

@bloomer Autism doesn’t mean that someone is ‘retarded’. Many Autistic people are quite intelligent. When I was a teacher, I had students in my classes who were on the Autism spectrum who you’d never guess that they were on the spectrum. The only reason I knew is because teachers get notes on their roster about any diagnoses or accommodations that the student has. And if you are on the autism spectrum, the only difference is that now you know about it. And it’s better that you know about it because you can better create accommodations and coping strategies for yourself by knowing what others on the spectrum do.

This just isn’t true. Society has given you so much. You just take it for granted. But if you really paid attention, the value that society provides to you is massive. Think about the food you ate today that you didn’t have to hunt or scavenge for. That’s because farmers, truckers, cooks, and grocery store employees all worked together in an organized way… and now your stomach is full. without work and a society to organize that work, you’d have to do it all yourself. And if it were taken from you, you would probably quickly realize just how much you benefit from society. Now, there’s plenty of problems to be fixed, of course. But to say that society does nothing for you is false. Now, to answer your original question of why I work. One reason I work is to support myself and my family. But I love work because I have to capacity to impact people and society in a positive way. And this potential for positive impact is genuinely exciting and inspiring to me.

Hey, good to see you ?

In my psychedelic experiences of Divine Masculine, there was the experience of God Mind and God Heart. And it was this mixture of deep vulnerability and attachment mixed with infinite strength and detachment. And it allowed the Divine Masculine to extend itself through every facet of reality and to come to know and love all things infinitely… and to care deeply for all things and grieve all losses. And if I’m to pick the number one quality that makes a great man is that he is able to embody this in human form. It is the Lover Archetype that extends the most vulnerable parts of itself to give love out into the world. And being willing to experience pain and discomfort if it comes, in the pursuit of this love giving. And practically this looks like a generous and prolific giving to his family, community, and humanity at large.

Since this is a very male-dominated forum, I figured I would put a few bits of advice on here for a woman looking to find her match. 1. Work on yourself psychologically - (Number One Advice!!!) You will only ever find a man who mirrors your Shadow until you integrate it, so integrate your Shadow so that you won't attract or be attracted to it in real life. Work on getting rid of any self-esteem issues and codependent tendencies especially, as these tend to attract abusive men. 2. Know and respect your own boundaries - This means knowing what you do and don't want and knowing what your dealbreakers are. You don't have any ability to change anyone. But you can be firm about what you want and sort anyone who doesn't fit. 3. Make your relationship decisions with an 80/20 heart to mind ratio - Most relationship decisions should be made by following your emotions, instincts, and intuition as this will always bring you to who mirrors you (either mirroring your shadow or your personality). But you should also keep the mind around to keep sight on your boundaries and dealbreakers. But avoid letting the mind create huge lists of traits that you require a partner to possess. The mind will sort everyone if you let it lead over the heart. 4. Adopt the "I am the prize" mindset in dating - Never chase anyone or compete for anyone's attention, no matter how much you care about him. The man should be the one reaching out 75% of the time as he is the one winning you over, not the other way around. The egg does not chase the sperm. 5. Be friendly and social with a network of people who are cut from the same cloth as you - Have a strong social network with many acquaintances, friends, and very close friends. This is the best way to meet a partner. Honestly... this bit of advice should be number one for both men and women! It's the best way to meet someone. 6. Never date a guy who is outside your social network - This one might seem extreme to many people because of us living in a very atomized society. But it's super important! The advice here is, if you haven't known and interacted with a guy platonically for at least a month or two, then don't go out with that guy... not even on a 30 minute coffee date. If your relationship to a man starts out on a romantic/sexual foot, it doesn't give enough platonic time to develop a proper attraction or bond. It's also a red flag because he probably starts off on that foot with many women. Also, full stop, don't do dating apps. Dating apps blunt the intuition... which is your best tool in dating. 7. Nothing lukewarm - Only form relationships with men who you feel very strongly about. Let your intuition show you who you like. 8. Develop your own unique style - When you have your own style, of course, do it for yourself. But a perk of having a unique style is that you'll tend to attract men of similar tastes. Also, it tends to repel the men who don't share your tastes. 9. Don't try too hard - Be yourself and meet people. And if a man strikes your fancy, then don't overthink it. Interact with him casually and playfully but don't come on too strong. 10. Look out for red flags - A lot of this has to do with numbers 1 and 2, so begin there first. But also watch out for red flags that indicate that a given man is unkind or has weak character. For example, things like not having a job, being rude to waitstaff, making jokes at other's expense. 11. Know your green flags - Know which positive qualities you require in a partner. (For example - kindness, respect, hard-working, discipline, etc.) 12. Be in your Yin energy - Similar to number 4. Be in your Yin energy, which means focusing towards being, receptivity, warmth, creativity, intuition, etc. This will not only attract men in general... it will also attract compatible men who appreciate your unique Yin energy. Edit: One last piece of advice... You must understand that love is blind and that there is a chance you will fall in love with any man you spend a considerable amount of time with. And once that deeper bond happens, it will be difficult to sever the attraction. So, be sure that you only spend a lot of time around men of strong character. If you're hanging out with violent criminals, you'll likely fall for a violent criminal. If you're hanging out with immature men, you'll likely fall for an immature man. If you're hanging out with good men, you'll likely fall for a good man.

Yes exactly

I know I’m right about it. My eyes don’t deceive me. The mundane reality is much gentler and nicer than the falsehood. People are people. And there’s literally no one out there who’s universally undesirable. And anyone who’s a 3 and above won’t even struggle to find someone, as long as they have reasonable expectations of finding a partner in their league… and enough self-esteem to put themselves out there.

Back in the day and now is probably about the same in terms of people finding partners. Back then, it was probably more common for men to die young because of war. That’s probably the biggest difference. But why is it your assumption that there’s 30% of men who are just not going to have women attracted to them? It’s an assumption that’s not based in reality at all. I’ve met plenty of lame guys in my life. And none of them were incapable of finding women who were interested in them. For example, there’s a guy I used to know that looked like a walrus and was really creepy and weird. He had nothing going for him at all in any department. And even he had a few girlfriends in the time I knew him. You seriously need to go live in a redneck town for a while. You’ll realize that no one is totally unfuckable. You just have to get in touch with the reality of how people pair bond. It isn’t this extreme thing you’re imagining where tons of people are just hopeless.

You’re making that assumption again that only a small percentage of the population will have people attracted to them. But as I’ve said before, most people are capable of being attracted to most people. And NO ONE needs to be with anyone that they’re not attracted to. Attraction is just the pre-requisite for romance to occur. And people tend to be attracted to their match… especially women. In a person who is emotionally mature enough to sustain a long term relationship, looks and status are just the initial bar that has to be crossed. And for most people, that bar is analogous to where they are personally. If you look at statistics (or if you just go to a flea market or grocery store), you’ll see that most people have a partner who matches them. So this people only being attracted to millionaires and supermodels thing is not actually a real issue. Dispossess yourself of that illusion.

Yeah… I’m glad to have never had to use one. It feels blah and like it would suck really bad. There’s really nothing quite like in-person, contextual connection.

Yeah, that is big problem.

I can see how someone can end up in that perspective. And I can have some degree of sympathy. That said, as a woman, it is very frustrating and sometimes traumatic to be on the receiving end of all of it. There’s just literally millions of guys who are all subscribing to these false ideas about womanhood and ending up bitter and misogynistic as a result. So I’m not very gentle about confronting these guys with their illusions. They need to snap the fuck out of it before they end up creating some dystopian handmaiden’s tale of a situation to solve the problems with women that only exist in their own heads.

Listen, I am quite familiar with what men face in dating because it isn’t a secret. It’s VERY well complained about… especially on here. And the number one thing that will help is for a man to dispossess himself of these distorted ideas about women. It will make the process of meeting women so much less scary once he actually sees the reality and not this alien projection.

Yes, exactly. Most men’s issues come from the distorted way they view women. It makes us seem like a bunch of scary aliens to them. So of course they act like spazzes around women.

You will need to learn how to socialize normally if that’s something that you struggle with. But men don’t need to be Rico Suave with their words to get women. Normal will do just fine.

Because that’s online dating and isn’t reflective of real-world dynamics. Women are very intuitive and online dating is basically just visual. So, women aren’t getting the full depth and breadth of experience that they need to know if a guy is attractive to them or not.

I probably wouldn’t want to be a guy’s wingman. But I will give them a dose of reality and let them know that their whole framework around women is nonsense and that most women are looking for a very human connection with a normal man. And that they will be exactly what some women are looking for, no matter who they are.

Insert regurgitated red pill talking point the family court system…. Very original. But to your other point, women don’t care that much about sexual abundance. It’s not really a priority because most women don’t want random sex that much. It’s just not very fulfilling. And this post falls into the trap of men projecting their own sexual agenda onto female sexuality. This is honestly why men rarely ever understand anything about female sexuality. Their agenda is too different, so all they can do is project what they’re familiar with.

Yeah, I’ve always been on the nerdy side of things and had plenty of nerd guy friends. And I remember being 19, when my last nerd guy friend (who was also 19) got his first girlfriend. And I remember thinking that he was such a late bloomer. And now, all these young guys do is just read red pill forums and live in their dungeons. And so they never get girlfriends. And they misattribute their lack of success to these nonsense ideas about female nature… instead of to the fact that they don’t talk to any women.

Most women will not overlook average guys. Most women will be interested in average guys. If you’re an average guy, your dating prospects are pretty great. If a woman is attuned to her emotions and not her rational mind when seeking a relationship, she will likely become attracted to her match. And since most women are average, average men will have lots of women attracted to them. In fact, most average women will auto-sort men who look like male models. Women seek their match. And an emotionally intelligent man who’s oriented towards relationship, will be quite happy to be in a relationship with his match. Now a guy who’s only interested in perfect 10s will be in a situation with women who are status seekers…. As both are just looking to trade status for beauty and beauty for status. But this is not an enviable place to be. There’s not much love to be had there.