S33K3R

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Everything posted by S33K3R

  1. @RossE That is awesome! I never saw Leo's video about this. I recently started using this technique. I have a lot of unconscious friends and they can be neurotic. I love them but I used to have a very hard time being around them for fear of the negative energies. I have friends that get drunk and argue in front of people, others do a cocktail of drugs and act crazy, everyone I know drinks lol these are my boyfriends friends. I had to find a way to be around them haha Once I adopted the fuck it attitude that was really when this method inserted itself into my social interactions naturally. Because instead of worrying about what was happening, the noise of the negativity became something to play with. So now I am not afraid to socialize anymore because I naturally can deal with any personality type from what I have seen so far I am in the testing phase to see if anything can break this method. I love hanging out now because of this nerdy thing lol I am so happy to see someone else write about it and now that I know Leo has this video I need to watch it! Thanks!
  2. @Random User I am sorry you have this battle coming up unexpectedly. That is when depression/anxiety was the biggest monster for me. Face your fears as visitor says, that is what I did. I wrote every insecure belief down and logically decided if it was true or irrational thought. Over time I had the realization that my mind used self defeating thoughts to keep me down and out of control. It is the battle of the ego and the self. The darkness and light. Osho once said something that always pulled me pretty fast through these rough times. Its a story I relate it to my depression recovery. "a man sits in a blackened room in complete fear he doesn't dare to move because there is a dangerous snake coiled up ready to strike. The snake is persistent and is always ready. All it takes is a split second of light to clear his fears. Because in the moment of light he can see that the snake is just a rope coiled in the corner and the monster has vanished at once. Everything changes once the light flickers" This is your battle. Finding a way to flicker the light, because once you see there is no danger the whole reality changes. The depression is you running from your thoughts. I overcame this by challenging every thought, I wrote things down to solidify my new belief system so I would have something to come back to later. One thing I want to add. The amount of women you have slept with means nothing to anyone except you. Your friends may joke, but they really don't care. When you do find a special lady, she will feel special because you don't go sleeping around like so many men do. It doesn't matter why you don't it just matters that you don't. Any woman who judges you for these things is an unhealthy person to date anyways. I know this because I met my boyfriend when he was 26 and he had slept with no woman. I love him for it, he is so innocent in my eyes because of that. He did have an internet sex addiction but we worked through it. Remember we really are our own worst enemy, depression for me was self created. I was severely depressed at 16 and had to crawl my way out with none of these awesome resources. Use them you may bump around and make mistakes but over time you will start to realize things are getting better. Never give up my friend, pain is only temporary.
  3. Well said @Prabhaker I love how you know Osho so well. @phoenix666 I love how you said that. It took me back to times when I was doing exactly what Prabhaker said. That is too funny, I love that technique so much too. I believe the pain is the body releasing energy blocks, it gave me something to focus on too it can really train the mind to go into a trance while keeping you grounded in your body. I remember right after I experienced a similar event. I did a Kundalini meditation and I had an energy release that was pretty intense. It lasted about 20 minutes and I couldn't move my legs when I tried. It was very scary because I had actually done the meditation and left the house to ride with a friend to the gym and it started in the car. One thing I wanted to add is that in the past when these energies have released for me. I went through a small depression lasting from 2 weeks to 3 months. Its almost like energy was just realigning or something? This is a sign of great progress from my experience I just love hearing about others experiences on their path!
  4. @pluto That is very fascinating, I think I will try my meditation outside more! I find it sometimes chaotic feeling, I believe part of that is the awareness of all of these moving things, the earth is so alive Deep down I am certain the dreams are from the sun, because I habitually wake up right before the sun to get a drink and no dream at all. I go back to sleep and in those 2 hours of sleep I have this elaborate story of a dream! I feel like its telling me something, but I dont know?
  5. @Will We are constantly shifting from one reality to the next. You are shifting now, now, now. This shifting is not noticeable because the changes from one moment to the next are so minute that most of us fail to see the change. You are shifting and as you get higher on this mountain you climb you will soon look back and see the path well traveled. It is a sweet moment just remember one foot in front of another. Blinders on this is the hardest part.
  6. You don't feel you have anything to contribute here? You contribute much! I have enjoyed posting on your posts and your posts warrant deep thought. Remember the mind is a muscle if you don't use it you loose it. While you learn others like myself enjoy pulling our banks of knowledge and remembering for ourselves. So thank you and just remember, one day you will have your interpretations to pass on to someone who needs your voice as well. We are networks of energy, and the magic is what happens between us all as we grow and learn together.
  7. I have felt this I believe? I never called it the universal will. I call it my higher self which I named Wonder, the part of me that is connected to the universe. The part that teases me with enlightenment I love this consciousness I usually feel that clarity after meditation on days when I am in a good mood and not feeling like time or anything is limited. The subtlest of energies can chase it away. I write things down when I am in that mind. I get ideas to do various things like what Leo here has created. I am amazed at this wonderful site still. When Wonder goes away its weird. It feels like I have awoken from a dream and thoughts I had during its presence seem foggy like a dream.....
  8. I did this with my mom kind of. She is very draining, negative and lacks any kind of ability to really love. I stopped talking to her for myself and we dont talk much. But over time I can stomach her more and more. I think eventually I will decide her negativity is no threat and only a sad thing that is happening to her. If she talks that way she must have a really sad reality she lives in. I feel sorry for her. But I always remind myself that her spiritual battle is her own and it is her right to choose how she reacts and grows from it. I am sorry your mom is like that, I would let the relationship go and see what happens. People change in the face of loosing people they care about, no matter how dysfunctional that caring is. Remember we are all on a spiritual journey and if she isn't growing then maybe some time away will help both of you
  9. Your family sounds like mine! I am 32 years old and am still working out my personal belief systems to accommodate my less than ideal upbringing. I had to realize some important things. 1. Is it more important to punish them or be happy? 2. I chose to be happy. So I moved onto the reality of the situation. My dad was raised in a really crappy place, he actually turned out great. He lacks the ability to love, respect and never tries to contact me. But I realize he is deeply a lonely man. He doesn't contact any of us kids and yet... He raised us all. He did the job and doesn't have the emotional capacity to accept the reward. Loving children that want nothing more than to be in his life. Its hard to be mad after realizing this. 3. Some of my relationships were toxic I made a conscious decision that my sister cannot be in my life. She is narcissistic and is much like my dad with a weird hate for me that she has even told me "I cant explain why I hate you". I hope the best for her but I am happy without her fully. 4. It is what it is I cant change them by feeling hurt. So I just say fuck it in the end. If they want to be in my life they will call. I am tired of being embarrassed. They are the ones who will be ashamed if they never get to know me. 5. I always make more of an effort to contact them than they do me. That way they know the door is open if they want to be in my life on my terms. Unfortunately we cant choose our family my friend, the world is quite the unfair place. I also believe in karma and because of that I believe I chose this life for these exact challenges but I don't want to get religious on ya
  10. Like @Prabhaker said meditation is non-doing. I believe you are asking for something that cant be answered though. While reading "The Book of Secrets" I read Osho's words that said "If you ask what is meditation? I cannot answer you, instead I will give you a method and tell you to go do this method. Come back to me and you tell me what is meditation." This question can bring about many answers, the problem is that each of us experiences things differently. That is why a method is needed for this question. It is the same as if you were blind and asked me what is green? How to describe green? I can't, you must experience it.
  11. I love this because I practice a meditation that says the ego cannot exist in the now. It can only be in the past or future. If you wish to be free of the ego remain in the present. I am lost in my ego pretty regularly, but I play a game to see how fast I can WHIP myself to the present. Sometimes it feels like a roller-coaster if I go fast enough LoL
  12. I just wanted to post on this for a different reason. I am not addicted to online sex. I actually found out my boyfriend was. We dated long distance for 2 years and I moved to Florida after we decided it was that or we split. Dating long distance isn't bad but it gets frustrating after a while. After I was living here for 2 years I discovered his secret. I was so mad, I went through a really rough period. He is a great guy and this was such a shock. Eventually we started working through it. I worked out my personal issues triggered with my irrational insecurities. He worked out his anger and ability to communicate. Somehow we grew from this damage and now we are closer than before. Because what we realized is that him having that secret caused a gap between us, we never worked things out. Only swept them under the rug for later, we got so used to it we didn't even notice the pattern of no interaction... It was disturbingly normal. Now its not. We fight, joke and enjoy life once again. Once you see the benefits that can come from learning to overcome such a difficult obstacle, I believe you will see this addiction as a terrible gift. I hope you guys find what you need in this life and always remember that the world is so full of love, if only you see it.
  13. A big spiritual trap I experienced along with all of my friends some of my friends wont even talk to each-other anymore over this ego driven trap. My friends ended up intellectualizing spirituality without practicing the methods to allow it to actually change their being. The debating became exhausting, monotonous, and destructive in the end. Nothing was learned except that the ego is very sneaky, and debating philosophical approaches is more for the ego than spiritual progression.
  14. Whenever I am in a rut I do two things. 1. Meditate and reflect 2. Do something new that inspires me into a state of wonder. For me things that do this are art (im an artist so I can do art or look up events), nature (kayaking, get dogs out, take pictures of pretty nature stuff), music (I love exploring different music made from around the globe, especially in countries who are in a terrible state, hardship makes for some amazingly deep lyrics.) Remember being happy is not just sitting back and doing whatever. It takes practice, research, dedication, and a focused goal. Look at happiness like a class and it will be done in no time
  15. @Will I do hope you find what you are looking for One thing I just thought of though? Is it perhaps the seeking you want but can never have? I studied Osho and I remember him mentioning this in his book of secrets. A seeking mind will go on seeking is what he said. I do hope you find it either way Mr Will.
  16. @Will Very true, like many things in life learning to observe is a stage, or a muscle you are learning to flex. Once you know your ego it no longer becomes much of a battle. It is called coherence. Your ego and your self work in unison toward a similar goal. The ego slowly stops pulling toward toxic and unhealthy habits and you become more confident in your ability to work with your ego. Once you have this down do what you will. Spending your whole life trying to fight something isn't fun and its not what life is meant for. Like all parts of life there are stages and like a river you get to a point where you just lay back and watch life take you away. This all happened for me when I adopted the fuck it mentality. I am a very nice person but I could care less about a lot of meaningless things my ego came up with. That is really when coherence between the two really spiked in my life. Remember nothing is definite, everything changes. Just like a flowing river. Forever changing.
  17. I would fall in love with that beauty. I do every day. When ever I have a chance to loose myself in the beauty of the world I do, because when I look back to my childhood I remember those moments when I lost myself in admiration of the world around me. Surely it is, that is why worrying about the ego except enjoying its antics is putting yourself back into the realm of the ego. It is the same as trying to defeat the government by going to court haha You are participating as a watcher, you learn to watch and separate yourself from the trivial thoughts of the ego. Our minds are always seeking, truth, hypocrisy, an enemy. Seeking always. Observing is very important, there are many people out there with opinions and nobody to listen. I dont know what you should do with this other than to see that it is there and very true. Ego finds many creative ways to remain in the drivers seat. Thats why it has become a game to me I guess?
  18. Hello people pleaser, I am sorry for all of the cinics it makes sense as most people have difficulty understanding this mentality. Let me tell you why you want to please people. It has nothing to do with how you make them feel. It has everything to do with your neurons in your brain. They are called mirror neurons some peoples mirror neurons are extremely well developed. Other people have not used theirs at all. This is why you are so sensitive to your perception of hurting others. You project your feelings of how another might view your actions and you react to that projection and feel as if it is them you are hurting. In reality you are offending yourself if you were them. Look at it this way. I used to be like you BTW. Who is the person people value appreciate, trust etc most? Not the sensitive scared person who is walking on egg shells. Your intention is to not hurt anyone's feelings but you are hurting someone. YOURSELF. Because you arent happy with your decision to please people. So what you need to do is reflect on this and decide who matters more? The occasional really sensitive person, or your own happiness? Or just do what I did, say fuck it for like 1 month to see how it feels. If you ask me, it feels great. I haven't gone back to trying to please anyone. People will respect you more because with that fuck it mentality you are claiming your space, you stop caring about offending others and you just get on with your life and try to be happy. In the end this is what people who care for you want anyways, they want to see you confident and happy. I realized all of the toxic people in my life have kind of wandered away. Because they fed off of my insecurities. I dont need that, neither do you. This is why you should try to say fuck it to all of the unimportant things at least for a trial period to see how it works for you.
  19. I have up days and down. I don't fight my ego, I play with it. I used to fight it when I was learning about meditation in the beginning. The fight with the ego is natural, especially when it is something you fear may take control..... Yet again. This duality will one day fade and you will see your ego for what it is. The brain trying to control our being with knee jerk impulses. Once you have control you can again allow it freedom and actually get to know it as you get to know yourself. Remember this, ego resides in the brain. You are within the heart. You are the one who watches the ego in meditation. You are connected to spirit. Ego is the animal mind who worries always and predicts terrible things to avoid danger. This is my reality anyways