First of all, sorry if this sort of topic isnt allowed, leo can delete if so. Its basically me needing help with my social/school life, i think it still relates to actualisation, after all, maslows theory is about how you need friends to move to the further stages of actualisation. So sorry in advance if it sounds too neurotic.
Ok so im a 16 yr old male and i feel like im hanging around with the wrong people. Its come to a point where i dont even want to hang out with them as it drains me and makes me unhappy, so i dont hang out with them anymore as id rather be alone. So i stay home every weekend and im pretty sick of it, i want to go out, go partying, get girls, and have a nice group of mates who respect eachother as im at the prime age. I feel so unfulfilled as im not doing any of these and i really crave experience right now. Im sick of staying home all the time and seeing my other not-so-close friends having fun all the time, sometimes makes me want to go back to my old friends, at least then ill be doing something. Its not that im weird and thats scaring off potential friendships, I consider myself to actually be really funny and nice and "normal", especially if im around good people. i feel like there is no one i can just let go and be myself with anymore, which makes me feel more unhappy by the day, and sabotaging me a making friends. I also find it hard to "just make friends with others" because everyone (at least the fun/respectable ones) seems to have gone off into their own cliques, which is hard to get into without coming off as a needy annoyance, as well as me having a bit of social anxiety. Also, independence is something i value, so setting aside that makes me feel bad about myself, i hate being needy. So basically, im in need of a new social circle as im just a lone wolf at the moment, but i dont know how to get one as im pretty closed off and i dont want to set aside my dignity to be needy. I mean, i still have friends, just not a social clique i can meet out of school and go out with as ive cut ties with my old group. And im pretty sure most other people think im already part of a group because i try not to show that i need friends. Also theres a fuckload of people at my school like 800.
Sorry for the essay and if this sounds a bit shallow and conceited, and like a stereotypical high school student who cares about having 'popularity' and its just being neurotic, but its making me miserable, and being around anyone who isnt someone i respect just doesnt do it for me and i find myself alone a lot of the time. Its like im trying to fit in with society all over again. Anyone got any relatable experiences or advice i could use? My guess is that im too closed off and need to open up more?
