Arthur

There is one thing I noticed with actualized.org, more specifically, how people interpret this content. I wouldn't call it a trap, but it misleads some people. It especially applies to younger folks, and I've certainly fallen into that myself. People hear Leo talking about Spirituality, Enlightenment, Nothingness and the Void almost every week. It paints a very sharp image and creates a powerful vision for aspiring actualizers. It really makes you get on board with all this cool Spiritual stuff and forget about everything else. You have ideas and fantasies of increasing consciousness, being Enlightened, becoming a Spiritual teacher, a life coach etc. Everything else in your life fades to the background. All you do is talk, read and discuss spirituality. This stuff is great. But we have to understand that Leo is coming at it from a different position than some of us. He started dabbling with spirituality when he already built his life and developed himself top of the pyramid. We can't just leapfrog financial success, relationships, self-esteem, work ethic, education and most importantly life purpose. In an extreme case, you can become a monk and renounce typical way of life. Yet for most people, the lower level needs have to be satisfied first. I'm not saying stop doing spiritual practices until you are 30-35. Yoga, meditation, and psychedelics can and should be used throughout life. I'm saying to not be obsessed over Enlightenment work and go out there to practically achieve something. Image how deep your spiritual pursuits can be, when your psyche is matured, your health is excellent, you have an abundance of wealth and all your desires and needs are met. It makes a world of a difference. I would even argue that it is almost impossible to achieve higher states of consciousness, without first putting the work into mastering traditional personal development (monks might be an exception). The strive for spiritual ideals early on can leave us bitter. You hear and experience all these cool states, but when you come back, your life is still crappy. This doesn't apply to everyone of course.

Awesome! where in? I'm in Halifax. I saw another girl posted here from New Brunswick.

Sounds like It's definitely a way not to waste substance. But you have to know what you are doing. Finding the vein perfectly, and not just sticking it under the skin, might be tricky. Not to mention that if you inject an air bubble, you're pretty much dead.

I'm trying to pick up Web development as well. Here is a couple of Youtube tutoring channels: Traversy Media Programming with Mosh freeCodeCamp.org Academind mmtuts I also recommend buying e-books on the subject. A book on PHP7 that I'm reading is "Modern PHP" form O'Reilly series. Paid courses can be great too. You can find some ranging between 20-50$ (not much compared to the value they can provide). But at the end of the day, once you have a basic theory down, you have to start making projects. No amount of tutorials will prepare you as much as making your own website. I recommend you make your first website with the following technologies: HTML&CSS, JavaScript-jQuerry, PHP and MySQL. This is a classic stack and will give you the ability to create almost any website. If you do want to work in a corporate environment with a team of developers on high profile sites (facebook, tweeter etc.), you might want to look into React, Angular, nodeJS and other web-related techs.

I find this a bit unusual. My substance dissolved in water quite easily (almost no mixing). But I guess it depends on how big the salt crystal is. If it is a very fine powder, it will disappear as soon as it comes in contact with water. I think @outlandish will be able to provide more insight. This is pretty much how 5-meo worked for as well. Your ego started to sense it's own death. Every little thing becomes irritable, and you have a huge body load. At times I really wanted to throw up, other times I would experience pains in my stomach. All of that accompanies by extreme feelings of anxiety and existential suicide. But! ... if you take more and go deeper... all of that goes away. The real peak is not the bad experience. The real peak is amazing and indescribable. It is everything you've been searching for and more. Taking that into account, 5-meo is not a magic pill at all. As with most of the things in life, you have to go through real pain and suffering to get the experience. And ultimately, you have to surrender yourself to realize yourself as God. For me, when the terror kicks in, I make myself very comfortable on the bed and re-affirming that this is just an experience, that I'm not in control of it, and that I will be alright. If you are serious about getting the experience, and you can handle it maturely (your not suicidal), you have to go all the way. Increase your doses to what is necessary to get a breakthrough (I needed 40, 50 and 60mg). And actually, it does get easier after a couple of trips. When you go through the nightmare once it doesn't scare you anymore. And maybe because of that, your trips will become more blissful in the future. But the torture was necessary at first... at least for me.

I think people credit him with much higher developmental stage. He has a talent for appearing neutral and letting other people express themselves, I'll give him that. But he also shares his own world view in the podcasts, which is strongly centered in stage Orange (with occasional glimpses of Green). He resonates with so many people, precisely because of his mainstream western Orange mindset. Why Orange? He is very much bought into the materialist paradigm, with the intellectual Dark Web (JP, Sam Harris, Eric Weinstein etc). He resonates deeply with JP's values. He gossips and discusses people, rather than ideas. His approach to solving problems is still immature, like a kid who says - "well why can't they just play nice together?". Not to mention the whole Macho Red Pill mindset he has. The majority of the discussions feels like two teenagers throwing ideas Friday night while smoking weed. I think his a great guy, and I still enjoy watching his podcasts occasionally. I see it sort of as entertainment, and maybe to gain insights into the mainstream thought process. I don't want to discredit everything that goes in the podcast. He does interview expert people, who have genuine helpful advice. But If you want to go past Orange, the talks won't be providing valuable insights. In my view, it is definitely not a stage Yellow podcast. Compare that to Ken Wilber, Don Beck, Card Jung or Leo's content and draw the conclusion for yourself. Maybe I'm wrong about him, but that's my opinion right now.

Try building up a healthier Ego. That way when you return to it, the sensation won't be unpleasant. Try more general personal development: self-esteem, life purpose, positive habits, good social circle etc.

Personally, I don't think everybody has a Life Purpose. In my opinion, it takes a certain maturity and level of development to acquire one. In Spiral Dynamics terms, I would say LP really comes on your radar at late stage Orange transitioning into Green. And a fully meaningful purpose comes at Yellow. Most countries and communities are not even at a solid Blue-Orange. I found that it is easier said than done. I don't think many people, even on this forum, have found theirs. There is a lot of young people on this forum (including me) and it takes years of self-discovery to find true LP. You might be naturally born passionate and talented genius, in which case the path has been charted for you, but that is not the vast majority. My estimation is that only at around the age of 30, you will truly discover your hidden potential and passionate contribution. I have certainly fallen into the trap of finding the "right" career and occupation, just to discover that my passion and talent lay elsewhere. it's painful to waste time and money for education/career and start all over again. Yet that is what needs to be done. We have to follow our heart, and one day, we will land the purpose of our lives.

Thank you for posting. I thought I was the only one having this problem. After 30 seconds the server stops responding. I have tried different things: OS and browsers: Android - Chrome, Ubuntu Linux - Chrome, Android - Samsung Internet. Devices: Galaxy s8, Galaxy s9, Dell laptop. I don't think the problem is specific devices, OS or browser. It's something more basic with the server itself (firewall, etc.). I've tried VPN with different IP addresses from Canada, Netherlands, Germany, and Russia. Each new IP gets about 30 seconds with the server before timeout. I can maintain a connection by switching the IP's It could be working only for IPs from a specific country, or it establishes a solid session only for a limited amount of clients while disconnecting from the rest.

It awesome that you've started with 5-meo. It's rare that you can surrender yourself fully in face of death. You will have the most amazing discoveries with 5-meo in the future! I think you've stumbled on the key right there. Life doesn't have a universal meaning, and that means you create your own meaning. It is very liberating. No longer you are bound by survival, material success, culture, and society. By detaching from external meaning, you can objectively pursue your passion. I think you can have both, the deep Spiritual time with 5-meo, and pursue life purpose. Alternatively, you can have a "spiritual cleansing" phase with 5-meo, while going back to Life Purpose later. But what I found is if you trip hardcore with 5-meo, you will need a lot of time for integration. Practically speaking, you might find yourself so loose and detached after deep trips, that performing actual work will be difficult. I guess it's about finding the sweet spot. Unless you want to be a monk or a spiritual teacher, there is no reason to mix spirituality and life purpose. And even then, not every Enlighten person can be a spiritual teacher. It takes specific communication skills and personality type to be an effective teacher. You have to be a teacher at the forefront, and then if you become Enlightened, you can share wisdom effectively with others. I think it's true that ultimately this reality is imaginary and all happens within consciousness. But while you are aware of yourself as a human being right now, you need to work on actually external value.

I thought I'd share my journey with this mysterious substance. About 3 months ago I acquired 500mg of 5-meo-dmt HCl. I don't really have a history of doing psychedelics or any other substances for that matter. My first introduction to psychedelics came from Leo's video about 5-meo and Enlightenment. My main focus was doing Spiritual work, and I decided to cut to the chase. I used 5-meo as a prescribed medication. I followed up on my trips almost every week. I forced my ego into doing it as a practice, despite resistance. It really helped that I don't have a full-time job and I work from home. I had so much free time to introspect, that there was no excuse to not partake in this spiritual therapy. I've posted a couple of reports from various trips I had. I've done 11 trips for the past 3 months. They were all powerful and contributed to my growth, but not all of them were breakthroughs. Here I want to give a short summary of the two major breakthrough trips, and some results from doing this practice. For some reason, I needed much higher doses to get the same experience. Maybe substance purity or body tolerance is to blame, but ultimately it doesn't matter. Consuming the substance does not produce a "standard" mechanical response. Each trip is a going inwards towards self-discovery. There is no way to accurately predict what will happen on any dose. Many times I went on a trip expecting reactions based on doses and previous experience, I was surprised every single time. I don't generally like to discuss spirituality. Every discussion is pointless and ends up fueled with spiritual Ego. It's just thoughts that go around and to create more thoughts. Ideas trying to deconstruct other ideas, how silly. It's all conceptual and none of it is Truth. It's easy to get lost in that and mistake it for actual experience. I will still write some spiritual Mombo-jumbo nonetheless, just to illustrate what 5-meo can do for somebody who never tried it. The first breakthrough - "Ego death" A couple of trips in, I experience ego-death. With me dying, the whole external world collapsed on itself. My body/mind mechanism disassembled completely, and what remained was indescribable. There are really no words to put this experience into a category. It was not out of this world. I merged with pure consciousness itself in the infinite void of existence. It was an extremely powerful and life-shattering experience. I can't recall any memories, because all of them are things, and this was no thing. I don't even know what happened to my body while I was gone. I do remember how I came back though. Suddenly I felt a loud pounding in my veins and in my head. I felt my heart pumping blood through my body really hard. It was as if my heart stopped and later restored by an electric shock. Maybe I wasn't getting enough oxygen, as I found myself lying face down on the bed. Either way, there was no external existence, so my death didn't really matter. This was a powerful NDE trip. It left me in a complete state of shock, awe, and maybe a touch of PTSD. My previous self died on that trip, together with all my materialistic believes about reality and myself. It was an extremely powerful Samadhi experience. My brain rewired and my awareness expanded significantly. Two weeks after the trip, everything in my visual field occurred as though it is made out of glass. I felt every sensation as though for the first time, and it was amplified by a thousand. I would stare at people intensely. I was constantly alert and aware of my surroundings. All of that accompanied by strange tensions in my head and a feeling of euphoria. The second breakthrough - "Being God" This trip happened quite recently. It was my last trip, and I gathered every bit of substance I had left. It wasn't that much. I've done much higher doses on other trips. The catalyst for this trip was the process of self-inquiry. I've started a more serious introspection practice after Leo's "How To Do Self-Inquiry" video. It also showed me that there is much more to learn on the spiritual journey, so my mind was open to it. As soon I closed my eyes, after a period of the typical come-up sensations, I became aware of true Self. I was there just swimming in an infinite sea of awareness, and out of the blue, I was shown my existence as God. There is really no other way to put it more softly. You created yourself and this reality... It is impossible to conceive from the human perspective. You can't really see it being in a human form, as we are right now. But as soon as you step out, it is obvious. It's like me saying "I just held a thought in my hand" or "I just walked on water". It doesn't make sense as long as you are in this objective reality. Yet even then, I can say "I walked on water in my dream", and you think "okay that is possible". The same thing happened here, as I'm writing this, I am me - the person. But when consciousness goes to another plane, I am God, and so are you. You created millions of distinctions and points of view to experience them all. It's truly all your Karma. For me, the key that opened this door was the realization that there is no external reality. Everything happens within me and my awareness. But even then, it is not really "my" awareness, as it is impossible to monopolize awareness. There is only consciousness and it can shift and morph. One moment it can manifest this entire existence, and in a split second, it can go back to nothingness and infinite void with no recollection. It's kind of similar to when you were born, it just happened in one snap. Except that you weren't born into the external world, the external world was born within you. Aside from any spiritual insights, 5-meo cracked my mind real good. I've experienced immense psychological maturity. Just for that reason alone, doing this practice was worth it. I look at things very differently now. My ideas became more holistic and systematic. I have a better understanding of where other people are coming from. I see everything as a part of a bigger body. Nature, people, politics, technology, everything functions and exists of its own accord. I'm less arrogant about my knowledge, thus, I invite the state of "not knowing". This openness is usually followed by a true understanding and deep insights. Thanks for reading my post. Right now I want to shift my focus away from spiritual discoveries and more towards life purpose. I want to say a huge thanks to Leo and his work. Seeing the effort and contributions of somebody like Leo, drives me to pursue a meaningful life purpose. After all the gems and growth I've received from Actualized.org, it is really unfair to not work on giving true value to others. I think everybody should consider working harder to provide practical results. The cost of all the knowledge we receive from Leo, is working on ourselves and helping others. As Uncle Ben once said - "with great power comes great responsibility".

Thanks, outlandish. I love reading your posts as well, they are very informative. I feel like I got a lot out of it, and need to set it aside for now. There is still much to learn and I will go back to 5-meo later in life. Also, I would love to try LSD, Psilocybin mushrooms, and nootropics like Modafinil. My priorities starting to shift towards life purpose and providing value. I feel like I got things a little bit backward. Right after College, I focused on Spirituality, instead of building my life externally and pursuing life purpose ( Leo is to blame ). It has its own benefits, for example, I'm less indoctrinated to think a certain way. But on the other hand, I'm not financially stable, and I don't really contribute to society, as much as I could. I promise to stop tripping and get to work!

^ This ^ I think you should start with a regular meditation habit. Once your mind starts to exhaust itself with other ideas and thoughts, it might naturally start the self-inquiry process. Don't force yourself to do it right now, that is what causing the ego-backlash. Start with meditation and it will gradually turn into self-inquiry. I do one-hour meditation/self-inquiry, it goes kinda like this: random thought, random thought, self-inquiry insight, random thought, random thought ... Probably 90% meditation and 10% self-inquiry, but even only that 10% gives you powerful insights.

I think it's definitely going to help. It will strip away the Ego and false identifications layer by layer. Through this process, you will mature, and you will see more clearly through the Ego fog. Without false mind attachments, you will see yourself, and life, more objectively. You will look at your personality as a third party observer. You will know your strengths and weaknesses and will be able to find a better path for mastery. It won't happen immediately, I never came out of a trip with a crystal clear life purpose. But when you integrate your trip experiences, your understanding of reality will shift. With that, some of your current ideas about life purpose might change. Going all the way with 5-meo you will mature your psyche so much, that you will feel like you've seen it all (of course, there is a lot to learn and you can learn endlessly). I'm only 25 and I noticed one of my hairs turned completely gray after my first breakthrough haha

What world? ... I see only myself. Jk, I am myself, the person. But not really. Edit: Honestly though, I'm nowhere near an Enlightenment master, who sees and embodies the Truth in everyday life. Before I maybe saw the hair on the Ox's tail. Now, I might have seen just the back of the Ox.

That's an interesting question. I think it helps in that is sets up the intent to discover the Truth. Practically speaking, hearing Spiritual teachings only helped me in that I can find words to describe the experience, like Truth, Ego, God, the Self, Infinite etc. Yet, It does give you the openness needed to go out there and get the experience. Once the possibility is there, it will almost certainly happen. For me, the possibility of getting insights about myself became real after Leo's Self-inquiry video. I don't think there is a "by the book" response to 5-meo. Each trip is really a journey deep inside of yourself. If somebody has the intent of using 5-meo recreationally, then they will get a recreational type of experience. Even if we look at it rationally, each response is produced in the brain, like a dream. Every person dreams, but the content is different.

Thank you for the great comments! It's awesome to see that many people liked my post and maybe found it useful.

I bumped into a similar video posted a while back on this forum. Somebody mentioned that this behavior is explained by Collective Consciousness. I don't think there is any communication going between each bird, they change direction too fast and too synchronous for that. This phenomenon doesn't make sense If you consider that each bird is a separate individual making its own choices of going left or right. But if you imagine that their decisions/instincts come from the same source, like maybe consciousness, this behavior is perfectly explained. Just as one bird has the instinct of suddenly changing direction, 100 birds simultaneously can have the same instinct at that moment.

It's a shower that washes you from yourself. No need for prayers, you can tell God in person. Although at that point, you might just realize that you are talking to yourself.

Nah, don't guilt yourself for gaming. At 15 you are still very very young. The fact that you have a meditation habit at this age is already huge. Go ahead, have fun and make social connections. It's is a completely different story when you are getting older though. Gaming becomes quite an obstacle for building life purpose and living a full life. The time that goes into gaming could have gone on acquiring real-life skills. Those skills can be used to produce value when you are older. If you game through your teens, you end up in your 20's with nothing. You settle for whatever job you can find and live a mediocre existence. Sorry if that sounds too harsh, but I'm trying to swing the pendulum away from this crazy addictive gaming culture that we have going on.

Agree. The best way to win the game is not to play it.

ivankiss = i van kiss = i vvant kiss

Yes, that would be a better way to put it.

@Wyze I can definitely see Social Belongings fit both Green and Blue. The only reason I choose Blue is that the next stage was a clear fir for Orange, and I wanted to keep the progression upwards. I see Blue belonging comes from motivations like "my family", "my country", "my people", "my religion", "my kind". Green belonging from "my community", "like-minded individuals", "care for the world", "artistic expression". The more I think about it, the more multiple instances for one section of the Pyramid I can find. For example, in a large religious community, there could be individuals who are well-off financially and those who are struggling to put meat on the table. Collectively, their stage would be Blue, but individually, their values/drives might differ. @Himanshu Interesting Article, thanks for sharing.