Arthur

@RiverFlower I think the following will work better for you: Get pure 5-MeO, not the toad bufo stuff. Commit to at least 10 trips. Increment the dose just enough to push yourself, but not to the point of scaring yourself away from the substance. Do it by yourself, no shaman, no partner, not anybody. Use plugging as RoA. Make a journal and write at least one-two pages after every trip.

I think it's the latter. Its an ego backlash because you're restraining yourself too much. When I tried nofap, the benefits just continued to compound throughout the month. Even after the 30days, they persisted. Either take a break from nofap and try again later, or distract yourself from the fact that you are doing it all together. It works great if you have a project or a goal to achieve. You can channel the energy and get a lot accomplished. Also when you're busy, the mind won't come up with all that negative crap. If you don't have a work project, physical exercises every day do the trick.

You might have tried this one as well, but I recommend Oregano oil. Its natural antibiotic and anti-inflammatory that also helps with stomach issues.

Fish uses tools Fish mastered a new element Cuttlefish are awesome

Just glancing over some of your posts, you seem like an intelligent and eloquent guy. You have some deep insights in your journal. I also sense a bit of Spyral Dynamics Blue tendencies in you, which is totally normal giving your culture and upbringing. If you can, I would make attempts to distance myself from the culture and family and maybe consider moving to a different country, Take a looks at your spiritual beliefs, if you sense morals involved, rationalizing, or denying some desire or part of yourself, those are the ones you have to stay away from. Anytime your mind spins a story that makes you feel bad, divided, dirty, unworthy or worthy, judgemental etc. - that's coming from a blue moralistic mind. Also don't focus too much on others, not about what they think or don't think. To assimilate Orange, one needs to start focusing solely on their own improvement, to the point of narcissism and mania. Being more "selfish" and self-centred is actually a great thing for Blue! it moves you up the spiral and out of constantly living in the shadow of somebody watching over your head. Ironically, a selfish Orange guy who lives for himself does a lot less evil than a Blue spiritual man pretending to be righteous.

I get where you're coming from. I am in a similar position - grew up without a masculine father, people pleaser, raised in a foreign country. It's going to be more challenging, but also, twice as rewarding when you actually tap into the masculine. Don't beat yourself about it, It takes a lot of life experience. It's true that in the late 20s - early 30s is when you really connect with that energy. But having that desire already puts you ahead of many men. The intention is all you need. For me, a big shift happened when I left the country I was raised in. I was so fed up with the culture and the atmosphere, that I just said fuck it! I left my old life, friends, girlfriend, car, carrier prospects etc. It was the most challenging and the greatest decision of my life. Right after I made that decision I discovered personal development. That's why I think going your own way is super important, no matter the cost. Some of Leo's older content is gold when it comes to building yourself as a man.

@Don Wei Masculine energy grows from overcoming challenges, going out of your comfort zone and following your life's mission. You have to be going through struggles and grow yourself constantly. Difficult times in life are not necessarily bad. They can stem from unconsciousness, and those are bad, but the higher quality ones happen when you overcome a challenge that reshapes your self-image and builds you up. Masculine is also about knowing who you are as a person, your strengths and weaknesses, and your direction in life. You have to go where YOU want to go, and never bend for anybody, not family, not friends, not culture and definitely not women.

I've been thinking about this as I got out of my last relationship. Few things come to mind for a long term partner: Personality compatibility - a partner has to be of a complementary personality type. The cognitive function stack has to be reversed - polar opposite. That way, there is more attraction, and the strengths of one can cover the weaknesses of another. (In Socionics its called a "Dual" relationship) Level of consciousness - there's no measuring stick for that, but you can usually sense how conscious a person is. Even if personalities don't match, the consciousness level alone can establish a good relationship. This includes Spyral Dynamics as well, the same stage will mean the same goals, interests, etc. Feminine / Masculine polarity - I think this one is pretty big for sexual intimacy. Even with a matching personality and level of consciousness, no sexual attraction will happen if both are in their masculine or feminine. I know looks suppose to be a big thing for guys, but I didn't even put it on the list. It's important to an extent, but I'd take a 6 that will match me on those 3, rather than a 9 any day.

this is how I see it: people on streets doing violence - blue/red thugs the media and people at home cheering up - green

There is truth in what he's saying. The masculine core grows through challenges, life purpose, self-sacrifice, presence and centeredness. The Feminine (the world) is always testing the masculine. Anytime you lose touch with groundedness and presence, you have tapped into your feminine. These are the two polarities consciousness manifests as. Although they are imaginary, those forces are incredibly powerful. The feminine is appearance, change, and flow. The ultimate masculine gives himself up to the world, surrenders his Ego, and achieves freedom -Enlightenment. Masculine men feel most alive, and at their core, through hardship and challenges. Inspired by "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida.

This is a move to provoke Iran into action, which in turn, will justify a more devastating military crusade by the US. Its a devilish and sneaky plan. I hope Iranians will not give in to what warmongers really want.

I had a very similar experience in my first few trips. Non-stop torture, extreme body load, agonizing discomfort feeling of dying and terror. It was so bad, I wanted to craw out of my skin, but just like you've described, there was no possibility of surrender. It was un-doubtedly the worst experience of my life. Luckily some higher wisdom hinted that I should keep going, that it was a purification process. It's as if the substance is testing your determination to see if you're worthy. It's not a magic pill at all. For me, it crammed many years of discomftable spiritual grows with meditation routine in a few minutes The following trip after the nightmare I had my breakthrough, which was unbelievable.

More business and cooking videos!

Good stuff

Ray Dalio is a great example of a Yellow thinker. He has a holistic approach to the economy, systems thinking, reduces complex phenomenons to principles, cherishes novel ideas, he can hold contradictory points of view and much more. He is also emphasizing meaningful relationships, conscious decisions and helping others. His favourite approach is Meritocracy, which is exactly the type of system Leo mentioned in his video - the best ideas and the most capable individuals make the decisions. Also, he has a daily habit of meditation. How's that for a hedge fund manager? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M95m2EFb7IQ

I can relate. People who get triggered by Green are likely at Orange stage of development. It can be a bitter pill to swallow that Green is more evolved. It can build resentment. I don't see Green crusading against Orange as much as the other way around. Green is more up in arms about big issues like wealth ineq. global warming, various rights etc. Green doesn't single out Orange with nicknames like SJW for example.

The movie - "The Island" (2005) is brilliant, it depicts Orange dystopia very well. The main theme of the movie is a great example, albeit an exaggerated one, of corporatism, technocracy and deception. Makes you value a strong government that can step in... It's a movie worth watching. 5$ on google movies or youtube. (please don't watch the original trailer as it reveals the plot)

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I agree its dangerous. Person taking 5-meo should acknowledge and be responsible for any consequences. I don't know why some of us require higher dosages. it could be the substance, tolerance, administration, not dissolving the substance, bowels, or a combination of the above. Still, I think if you don't change your method and increment your dose slowly, you can go as high as your body is comfortable with.

@nowimhere My experience was very similar to yours. I started low and had to go up to 60mg to eventually get my breakthrough. Keep at it!