Arthur

@Recursoinominado Thank you, I'm starting to integrate this state more and more. It sounded like I was concerned but now I'm rather curious. Feels like I'm distant from my old self and other people. My old life feels like a dream. What I wrote about emotions is also not true. I can feel them at times very deeply, in a new sort of light. I was driving with my girlfriend, and she was feeling a bit anxious and hyper, which made me get that feeling as well. It swept through my whole body like a wave, and it was overwhelming. After a bit I let it go through me and it passed. I feel like my perceptual field is no longer concentrated on my thoughts, with other sensations being in the background, but rather my thoughts became more of an echo. I'm able to be more aware of my surroundings without effort. It feels great, I see things sort of in a new light, without any personal meaning attached to them. Honestly, It feels like this is how humans suppose to live. We shouldn't be tormented by our minds, living in a fantasy world. Having our field of awareness concentrated only on our thoughts and rarely expand beyond that. We always running around in circles in our thoughts. The mind cannot understand/comprehend reality no matter how hard it tries or what models/ideas it comes up with. So why wouldn't it just shut up and let it be? I don't know no if this is permanent or just a state. I'm still living my life as I used to. Actually besides the way I stare at people, not much has changed about me externally. I did lose a bit of motivation and drive, but maybe they were not healthy, or I don't even know/care anymore.

@Elysian Thank you for responding and elaborating more on your experience. I can relate very much to what you said about experiencing your body, mind, and awareness of the surroundings. It feels like I'm keeping everything that's going on around me in my awareness. I can't be surprised by anything. I do all the things effortlessly. Almost like my brain reached 100% capacity and hyper-alert all the time. I feel various sensations in the body as if I'm perceiving them from a distance. My mind sort of became passive. It moved to the background and became as equal as all the perceptions around me. Mind became quieter, but It would still occasionally arise. Whatever it says though, feels not very important compared to whatever is happening around me, like a nice story that is not ultimately real. My girlfriend and I are very close and we live together. She's not a student of Spirituality and I didn't tell her what happen, but she noticed something different in the way I look. It almost feels like I look through her. Like I know she and other people are living somewhere out there in the mind but not in the present moment. It's not a problem though, if anything, she likes my state peace and happiness. In the post, I've expressed that I am concerned, but it not a type of fearful concern, more like curious. I feel at peace no matter the circumstances, even though this is quite a change from my previous state of awareness. It's not even the trip experience that i'm curious about, but the after effects on my consciousness. I don't have a big Spiritual framework to put the experience in. Right now I'm rewatching a lot of the teachings I knew to refresh my memory. I definitely feel that I understand more deeply what different teachers are talking about. It's very different than what I thought it would be.

@Elysian Thank you very much for describing this experience. If you don't mind and have the time, please look at the end of the post I'm attaching. I've listed what I noticed at the end of the page. I think I have a similar awareness to what you've described.

@DrMobius thanks, its comforting to know that. I'm still young and want to develop my life externally, before I have a big internal shift.

Guys, I think this experience messed me up a bit. I don't feel myself anymore. It kind of disturbs me. After the experience, I feel kind of pressure in my head. Like that trip hit me with a hammer and something got loose. It's not painful like a headache or anything, but it feels unfamiliar. My girlfriend says I'm looking at her differently, she says she can't explain it. To me seems like I can maintain eye-contact for longer. I would do dishes or be in the shower and have a wave of euphoria. My knees would get weak like after an orgasm. I would sit in a car or lay on my bed and just stop everything. I would just experience my surrounding and barely even blink for 30 minutes. I'm always aware of background perceptions. I used to have this type of awareness during deep meditation where I could combine simultaneously my thoughts, body sensations and sounds around me for a couple of seconds. But now It's here all the time, feels like I don't switch between perceptions but have kind of a general surround awareness. I'm able to hold my thoughts simultaneously with my surrounding in a weird way. Feels like my body goes on autopilot. I would usually get clumsy when I'm thinking or listening to a video and doing other things, but now my body just goes on it own. Sometimes even walking feel strange, like I'm pooled by something. My feeling became a flat line. I'm either relaxed/peaceful or feel nothing at all. Nothing excites me, I'm not thinking about the future anymore. Previously I would do activities and try to skip forward in my mind and get to the point. But now I'm just neutral/numb to what every I'm doing. The feeling of my body became weird. I can still feel things, but It's like I'm sedated, I'm not reacting to it. I used to be irritated by cold, but now I just feel it as a tingling sensation on my skin. I even just pinch myself or splash cold water on my face to kind of feel that weird sense. Overall, I would say its good because I don't have negative thoughts/emotions. It's very different though, in that sense, it makes me concerned. I'm not gonna go to a psychiatrist because I will have to start explaining why I took 5-MeO and what spirituality is. It's only been 3 days since the last trip, but I know that the substance should have been long dissolved in the body by now. If you guys had similar experiences in your life please share your thoughts. Is this a spiritual thing, PTSD or some chemical brain changes?

This is my favorite, sorry no lyrics for this one.

Yes totally normal. I had exactly the same experience when I first started meditating on a regular basis. It passed for me after about 3 months into it, my meditations became more peaceful and stayed like that. I think at the beginning of the habit your mind is going through actual physical changes, kind of rewiring itself from within. I can feel it sometimes as a tension in my forehead. Also depends if you actually take psychedelics or even weed, that might have different effects.

If anybody wants to try 5-MeO and want to know the after effects, I will share what I noticed below. I can't talk about long-term effects since my last trip happened quite recently, but here is what I noticed so far: This experience recontextualized a lot of the spiritual teaching I knew. It shattered what I believed was possible. Perceptions became very detailed. I'm perceiving the same things but in a different light. I can feel sensations in my body that I wasn't aware before. No judgment attached to any sensation. Before this experience, every perception had sort of a story-meaning-connotation to it, now I am more able to see it for what it is, and it's much deeper. My dreams are very vivid and very rich. Dreams became just as real as this life, and I'm able to be fully immersed in them. I wake up earlier than my alarm filled with energy, whereas before, waking up was dreadful. I feel very detached and sort of num, I'm not as responsive to anything anymore. I can see how this can cure addictions. I'm not exaggerating any experience looking to fill a void inside. I'm less afraid of death. I would still be terrified if somebody pointed a gun at my head, but I feel like I could surrender to the inevitable much easier. I'm able to be very present, kind of what Eckhart Tolle teaches. I have moments where I would just zone-out and merge with experience, only for split seconds though. Meditation became effortless. I'm able to just sit relax and melt into whatever is happening. I still feel discomfort from long sitting, but I don't have any mental frustration during the exercise. Here is what I imagined would happen, but didn't happen: I didn't stay in a state of no-self or cosmic consciousness permanently. I don't think I could do that and still function in this life. Even what I listed might be slowly wearing off. My mind didn't stop. I thought my mind would completely stop and It would be just quite forever. I didn't become a sage/saint or a very good person. My Ego and most of my patterns are still there. I'm executing through the motions and momentum of my life. I just don't judge my actions anymore, like I'm watching a movie from the back seat.

That's true, now that I think about it, metaphysics is a scientific way of doing spirituality. But the understanding/experience you get from using this method is not conceptual, I that sense, I would say it is not really related to science.

@Serotoninluv @Jack River Yea I agree with you guys. I still view science mostly as an abstract activity. I don't think its designed to show you the truth or explain reality. IMO science as a form of language cannot go to the core of what's real. If science to assimilate spirituality it will stop to exist as we know it, it won't be the cognitive activity that it is. It will become spirituality/metaphysics. I don't know, maybe science and spirituality will merge, or maybe they will continue to exist as separate domains. Science will still be good for building creative gadgets, making external life easier, using the world's resources efficiently. Spirituality will be there for understanding what reality is and who we are. They both sort of handling different aspects. The problem I see nowadays is that science got assigned with the task of spirituality.

In my opinion nothing wrong with science per say. Guys don't rant or give negative connotations to it. Any activity can be corrupted by Ego and used to create an identity and define what is reality. I see science as a form of cognitive art. Just like painting, martial arts and so forth. It's just a form of expression through models, like language. It should be done as a fun creative activity.

@Jed Vassallo I think being in a state of surrender definitely helps. Also, as Leo mentioned previously, each trip build upon the previous one. I probably wouldn't be able to surrender on a high dose, without going through the bad experience. I definitely encourage you to go forward with it. The bad experience might sound terrible, but it only lasts 20-30 minutes. It's like a medicine that purges the Ego inside your body. In my opinion, once you've done it a couple of times it gets easier, you don't cling and resist too much. I would say you have to find what a small, medium and heavy dose means for you. I think it varies with purity, body tolerance, RoA and so forth. My guess is that my substance was not very pure, as I needed much higher doses. For me, small, medium, heavy was - 30, 40 and 50 mg. @Leo Gura Ye it was insane. I can't even imagine where my next trips will take me, it's beyond my capacity. Thank you Universe, for sharing this substance with me through Leo @Recursoinominado You should definitely give it a try. I don't know about regular DMT, but 5-MeO cracks your Ego. Nothing that is fundamentally true about your existence ever gets damaged in the process.

Look man, there a lot of different people on this forum making posts left and right. But, so as with everything in life, you can choose what to focus on. You can either: Make a topic about how much of a Yellow sage you are, and rant about how other people are in the dark. OR You can be humble and ignore the BS around you. Finding the topics where real insights reside. Commenting on only things you have experienced directly. Not using this forum to show-off your Ego. By doing the latter you will become the solution to the problem you pointed out.

It's great that it will be legal tomorrow! Criminalizing and waging war on drugs, or on anything, is never an answer. This is a big step for Canada towards SD stage Green. Acceptance of natural substances and giving people a choice is excellent. As for Cannabis itself, I think Cannabis can be used and misused at the same time. From what I see, the majority of pot smoker actually doing the latter. In my opinion, proper use is: Using it not very often - once a month maybe. Doing it when you are mature enough Using it by yourself - no parties or chilling with a friend. No distractions - no TV, youtube videos, music, video games etc. Contemplation - trying to get new insights from each trip. In general, using it as psychedelic to get profound experiences. In-proper use: Being psychologically dependent on it - doing it often. Doing it to escape social pressure and anxiety - you need to deal with them. Doing it to chill and relax - not the best way to do it. Doing it to sedate yourself and escape reality - terrible idea. I think many weed users can relate to what this guy is sharing:

@outlandish I agree that the government is corrupt and closes the eye on this issue. It is very hard to change the government since it is lobbied by the big corporations, and most of us don't have any political influence. Instead, I would suggest each of us take responsibility and acknowledge our own actions. If your living in the first world country there are conscious choices you can make toward greener future. For example, buy a Telsa model 3, or some Hybrid vehicle, instead of a truck with a 5.7liter engine. When you mortgage a 300 thousand dollar house, invest a couple thousand in a solar panel array. The panels will pay for themselves in a couple of years and you will make a profit. I am young and not financially stable enough yet to follow up on some actions. I will do my best in the future. I think when we start to invest in green energy products, an industry shift will follow. As long as there is demand for fossil fuels, there will be supply.

I worked in Sustainable Energy Research for one year, we were helping green energy industries with product development (I got solar panels in my profile pic ). There is a lot of talk about change, and some things do happen, but it is not fast enough, and only a small group of people actually working towards it. Fundamentally most people (me included) don't care about anything other than themselves (they are low on Maslow's hierarchy of needs). People who deny our treatment of the environment are just rationalizing to themselves. They know they are wrong, but admitting that will involve a lot of maturity and work. I'm a hypocrite in that I do drive a gasoline vehicle and pay for "dirty" electricity (from coal sources). But I am committed to change that in the future.

I'll try to give an example of how problem-solving might be approached: Question: 2 + 3 = ? Number-crunching - Brute Force method: Answer: 1? no, 2? no ... 5? correct. Basically trying all possible combinations until one fits. AI - Neural Network: Answer: 5 with 98% confidence First, the network must have the patterns '2' and '3' recognized in its memory structure - Neuron nodes. This is done by feeding the nodes with thousands of number-answer combinations (The breakthrough with AI is that you don't hard-code those patterns, rather they emerge by themselves from trial and error). Then the model is able to make an estimate based on previous runs where 2 and 3 were added. Human brain: "What is a number? - it's a representation of quantity" "Okay, let's imagine 2 apples and 3 apples". "How many we have in total? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5" "The answer is 5" I'm trying to show with this simplistic example that AI only learns from trial and error iterations, in a sense, it's not too far from brute force tactic. AI can be seen as a solution to a specific problem, whereas the human brain is a generic problem-solving machine. AI looks to the past for solutions, a human brain has imagination and can intuit an answer.

My field is somewhat close to Computer Science (Electronic Engineering), I know a little bit of the inner working of Neural Networks. It is a very clever mathematical algorithm and certainly a breakthrough when compared to old-school number-crunching problem-solving approach. However, Neural Network structure is only a very limited imitation of a brain. It is far far far away from the capacity of the biological brain. AI is not capable of Intuition, which is the basic component of true Intelligence. AI is able to make smart decisions, but what people overlook is that the model requires many hours of training before doing so. It is not able to learn based on Intuitive insights like humans. For AI to be dangerous it needs to develop an Ego, To build such a complicated structure as Ego, it has to be at least as creative, intuitive and intelligent as you are. Single AI has to learn life and surpass you in all the tasks you perform, not just one like modeling data, playing Chess or Go. It is SD stage Orange Futurist's wet dream of living in a world full of conscious machines, and maybe one day we will. IMO though we are centuries away.

Hey, I would say you need to start over. Moving to India might be too extreme to follow up. Instead, I would suggest you move out of your parent's place to a new city. Find a good developer job in a new place altogether. Here is the rationale behind it: You will move on from the breakup faster with a change in environment. You will mature by living on your own (you will have to sooner or later). Excellent opportunity for self-development - you will be lonely, but that's an excellent opportunity to go deeper into yourself and contemplate. This can be a beginning of your "hero's journey". It will be hard, but looking back, this will be the greatest decision you ever made. I experienced something similar. I immigrated to a new country leaving my job, my car, my friends, and my girlfriend. It was the hardest decision of my life. I spend months in serious depression. When those feeling passed, I started doing self-development, My life has improved dramatically. I don't know who I would be if I stayed.

Well, if you are doing NoFap and only have sex once in blue moon, no wonder you can't last. I would say let yourself loose sometimes, sounds like you have a lot of tension that needs to be released fast. You only need NoFap if faping is an addiction of yours. Otherwise, ejaculating is quite natural, your body will even ejaculate during sleep if you don't do it yourself. Don't be hung up on lasting longer, the average sex duration for people is only 4 minutes! It may seem cool to last longer, but actually 30 min sex in not natural and very exhausting (I bet our ancestors had sex for less than a minute). Most girls will find it hard to stay aroused and wet for more than 10 minutes into actual penetration.

@Shadowraix That is fundamentally true - "no man steps in the same river twice". However, some things are given at birth - eye color, height predisposition, skin color, brain structure and DNA. Since brains evolve in a certain way based on DNA, no reason to think there won't be common patterns throughout ones life. You would really have to go out of your way to actually "rewire" your brain, most people won't.

I think Typology systems can be quite useful. I would recommend going deeper into it. Read about Socionics, which is another spin off from Jung's work on personality archetypes. The reason you change types, is because you are not familiar with it enough. You need to explore all the types, find examples of each and compare. Type is something you are born with, it is unchanged. MBTI or Socionics won't tell your level of Intelligence, conciousness, Will power and so forth. But its still useful in describing your general tendensies. I think the BIGGEST use of the model, is in describing relationships between types. This can save you from bad divorces down the road. Its is very accurate in describing who you will tolerate and who you won't.

Almost 25. Started following at 21. A lot of Leo's content went over my head (some still does), but over time, with meditation, you come to the same conclusions. Next threat, occupation of Actualized.org followers besides Actualizing