lostmedstudent

@Leo Gura why can’t you say what it is

@erik8lrl ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ any difficult moment in that whole experience ? thank you for sharing

As a girl... this sounds really weird to me.. either she’s super awkward and doesn’t know how to flirt or you are friend zoned... you are right, no one talks a bout boob and ovaries pain to a guy on a date ????

thanks for the report! interesting insights! congratulations on going back despite the panick attack!

Hi i have an odd request for y’all i was wondering if anyone would like to give me some feedbacks and advice on a motivation letter. I am just trying to get as much feedbacks as I can. Its a letter for medical residency application, so please let me know if anyone is interested / has a background in academia. thanks in advance!

also can someone link me to Leo’s blog post about yoga? is there a search function on his blog posts ??

Is this a good position for starting Kriya? my first homework is to find my posture. I like to meditate like this .im wondering if I can continue so for Kriya?

I attended an Ayahuasca ceremony last weekend, which was my second time drinking Ayahuasca tea. It was a religious ceremony so there was some chanting and question/answers periods, but I was so totally absorbed in my trip that I wasn’t able to pay attention to any of those. This trip was a TOTAL MIND FUCK. I was so mind-fucked I do not even know where to begin, or how to put anything in words. I remember during the peak of the trip, I kept repeating in my head: what was seen cannot be unseen, and ignorance is bliss. I had a bad trip last April during which I was sent to the hospital. In that trip, I was not sure whether I was alive or not. I felt that I was everyone and anyone at the same time. It took me months to overcome that bad trip. The reason that I am mentioning that is because as I began to feel the effect of the tea, it connected right with the last trip. The two trips merged and became one. It made so much sense how it connected and how this is the obvious path down the road. I felt stuck in this loop, the loop of trying to pursue the truth. I was then hit with the feeling that EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE. I cannot even tell you what made sense exactly, but I just kept repeating of course, of course.. But of course… of course I drank the tea to experience this, of course I had the bad trip, of course! I understood everything, EVERYTHING. Or so it felt. I understood what Leo has been saying all along. I understood every awakened trip reports I have read. I felt the circular nature of life. I realized that I HAVE NEVER lived. The realizing felt SO REAL, so convincing and life as I knew felt like a joke. I thought of my boyfriend and my parents and how they did not really exist. There really is only me. I saw it SO CLEAR that I can only repeat: but why, what ? Why? How? Ok but why? I wished I did not know. I wished that I did not take that tea. I also felt clairvoyant. I knew I wouldn’t believe what I experienced once I "come back" and I would be posting on the forum and asking questions but the answers seemed so obvious to me at the moment. And I knew there was NO WAY to explain this to anyone. That’s what I have been doing all my life, and that’s what ill keep doing, and that’s what everyone will keep doing, one way or another : pursue the truth. Once I was "convinced" that It has been me all along and all will merge with truth eventually, I saw life as no point. I felt that there was no point in doing anything at all. Nothing matters in this game called life, it literally , truthfully did not matter. Theres no point in asking any questions because I have all the answers in that moment, no point in judging, no point in hating or helping. The comedown was surprisingly smooth. However, I had this intense burn/hot/warm/energetic sensation in the perineum that was slightly uncomfortable. As expected, as the trip subsided, my life felt more real than that "experience". I only remember how convincing those realizations were, but they did not stick, and I am already doubting if that was just a dream. I did not feel being one with the universe or awakened. I think I was mindfucked more than anything. My main questionning is: how do I know if those realizations are absolute truth (as they undoubtingly were during the trip) or another belief/idea? Because it seems like they are highly influenced by what I have been fed such as "this is all imaginary" or "life is a loop" or "I never lived".. How come they felt SO REAL , and now I can barely remember it? any other pointers for me ? Thank you all for your help.

@ajasatya agreed. met my fb through tinder. It works but you just have to be smart and clear about what you want .

@mandyjw i felt dumbfounded during the peak. Just awestruck and mind blown. Maybe a little sad too. I felt like crying, but the second i wanted to cry, it felt like I’ve cried a thousands times and tears have dried. No fear or joy though

@Serotoninluv but the subsequent ones ?

@DrewNows thank you! and to everyone who responded to my thread @Eu Sint @inFlow @Serotoninluv @zeroISinfinity do you ever regret taking the first step and got you deep down this rabbit hole?

Wow thank you for sharing man! its a beautiful report!

@inFlow wow I like the graph, thanks !! it also makes sense why it’s so hard to believe that experienced even happened after we come down to the baseline

@Eu Sint thank you! during the trip I thought : no more psychedelics, I have seen enough ?? but the curiosity killed the cat. I will definitely be going back as now there’s no return to the old self However the experience was too abstract that I cannot integrate it at all to my day to day life

@Serotoninluv thanks i find ayahuasca to have very little visuals. It wasn’t distracting but of course! both ayahuasca and non ayahuasca as real!!! I just cannot realize it yet yes, I am definitely trying to make sense of it and the more I think of it, and the more time has passed, the more crazy (less real) it seems.

@Eu Sint has that realization / experience ever scared you? knowing that it is all you and all is enlightened? i guess as you said you have experienced this since such a young age that it has become a norm, so probably not scary. but for some people to have that realization all of a sudden on a trip, its quite a lot to stomach. how should we deal with nihilist thoughts, such as theres no point in life, ,ans all just goes in full circle? thanks

@Koyaanisqatsi thNk you for the post i am interested to know two questions previously asked but to which you did not answer: 1. did psychedelics help you along your journey? 2. Was there ever fear of death / panic , if so, how did you overcome it ? thank you so much

Beautiful thanks

Congrats i am from Mtl as well

I am currently spending a week in palliative care, taking care of patients who are dying imminently. Witnessing death from such a intimate and close angle has made me feel uneasy, yet peaceful. Even patients in palliative care do not accept the fact that they are dying. Besides physical pain, Most of them are anxious of being here. We do not directly discuss death with the patients either, unless they want to talk about it. The symptoms that we aim to relieve at end of life are mostly pain, anxiety, nausea, and trouble breathing. Both the pain med (opiod) and the anxiety med (benzo) are sedative at high doses, which would be the case for most patients as they pass. So as expected, their deaths are mostly peaceful from an outsiders POV with those medications : not much respiratory labor, the face is quite relaxed at death, and not much agitation. Compared to some dying process I witnessed in hospitals, it is indeed much more dignified and peaceful. However, I am curious to know what the sedative effect has on consciousness at death. Would it be better to suffer yet lucid or to be not suffering but sedated when dying? I have never experienced ego death , I would like to hear from those of you who has, what do you think about symptoms reliefs at death. Would that easy the ego fading process? thanks for everyone’s input in advance

@Peo yes for sure, but I don’t have balls as we can clearly see ??

@nowimhere @Leo Gura thanks . Really appreciate it. i will meditate and cultivate more sense of love before the next trip! yhank you

Love for what? how to develop love? ...