iTommy

Hey all, I've been able to see auras for a while now, but haven't practiced seeing it much so there are still improvements to be made. The only thing that I find confusing is that I only see the same color on me, objects and other people. I always perceive a light-blue-ish color, depending on the background behind what I am focusing on. If the background is white or grey (brighter backgrounds), then it's easier to view it and thus light blue-ish, if the background is darker then it's harder to see the aura and is then perceived less light-blue. I've taken an "aura test" out of curiosity, and ironically it matches my personality pretty well, yet when I only see one color that applies to everyone then it might be not really accurate when it comes to perceiving "objectively", the aura that others have and mine. Another theory that I have is... that not everyone sees the same aura color on the same person, can't say for sure tho. Is anyone here that knows a bit more about this subject? Maybe someone who has or has had the same experience?

@aurum I don't work out at the moment, but it's something that needs to be done for a healthy life. From what I've seen this is a good spiritual practice for emotional release. I'll do further research on this topic. @Nahm What you wrote resonates with me. Subconsciously there's a lot of negative thinking going on. I'll give the Hemi-Synthesis a try for a month or more during meditation. @1x0 Mhm, that's part of the process, for creating your vision for life. @Prometheus Worley Nice! I'll check out your recommendations, and will probably give this a shot. The war of art is in my bookshelf, but I haven't picked it up to read yet, this will be one book that is now in my top books to read. The feeling part as you describe with visualizations is important, if it can't be felt then it's usually not really doing it for you according to my knowledge. Some people also use other senses like smell & touch combined with hearing/audio, to make it more "real". For now, audio must do. @Sahil Pandit Interesting... thanks for the link @Hellspeed I've read this somewhere recently. You'd need a somewhat "clean slate", and then you build new beliefs upon it.

Hey all. I am trying to find "the best" way(s) to re-program my subconscious mind, and I'd like to get some input from you guys. I've been looking into affirmations, subliminals, binaural beats etc. and I find it easily overwhelming since there are so many different views on them. For example, some say that most affirmations on YouTube don't really work because they often use "I am..." instead of "YOU are...". Some say that binaural beats are pretty bad/even useless on YouTube because of compression, and some articles claim that YouTube binaurals are great even with compression. Some people highly recommend certain binaural sites, while others bash the recommended sites. Anyways... I'd like to use methods of subconscious learning & re-programming (that actually work well), and thought that you guys might have some insights into this topic. I'd like to use techniques that make me feel confident, productive and goal oriented. I'm thinking of creating a list containing up to five affirmations that I will repeat every day (I am assuming that early in the morning and at night is the best time for suggestions) multiple times for five minutes or so. I was also thinking of creating a recording of my affirmations with my own voice and some music, since I am not sure if my mind would soak up the affirmations (especially the "I am" ones) that are made by other people. It would be great if there was something effective that I could use at night when I am sleeping too, again here I am not sure what I should pick. I am afraid to waste hours of my time using something that's not really effective. So overall two things, one conscious practice of re-programming the mind while being awake, and another that's moreso a subconscious practice (used while sleeping). I'd appreciate it if those that know a bit about this topic, could give me suggestions and insight into what you'd recommend me doing. - Tommy

Hey you! I've been approached today by a woman who offered me to join her and others doing something called "Falun Dafa/Gong". She talked about energy, "illnesses" being cured when doing certain techniques for some time and so on. I am pretty skeptical about it, on a website with information about it, it seems to be somewhat dogmatic and belief based. I wonder if someone here has more insight into this topic than I currently have (mine is very limited). Do you think that it is worth it in the long run? Would I be subscribing to delusions here? Afterall, some of the stuff said/written about it, seems pretty flimsy. Do these techniques really do (with your mind/body) what they supposedly do, or is it more of a placebo nature? I mean... I am open-minded to some extent and I'd probably check it out, but I'd rather be careful and if possible avoid doing things that don't really provide that what is "promised".

Hey guys. I've been meditating for a while and it has helped me greatly in many ways, but... I can't help but notice that it may increase the chances of me getting "brain-fog". Honestly I am not sure if "brain-fog" would be the right word. Let's use it as in "becoming present", for now. This doesn't sound too bad, right? With "becoming present" I mean going/shifting your awareness from the thinking mind, to simply whatever else is occuring in the present moment. This I find happens often when I am talking to people. I don't really seem to be focused on/following the conversations, but rather I just stop for a moment. I watch my breathing, I notice the different bodily sensations and so on. That's when I sometimes just lose track of what I wanted to say, and even what the conversation was about. On one hand it's nice to "become present" and just noticing without mindly interpretations and judgments. But then when this happens during conversations, it's rather bothersome since I then often lose track of it all. I switch the attention/focus from the conversation, and towards noticing what is, then back onto the conversation, then towards noticing what is... and so on. Thoughts? Any ideas on how to proceed from here?

@deci belle I would say that the conversations are mostly valid. At times, I don't really display any authentic interest in certain conversations, yet many of those are important, at least for the "me"/individual (survival etc.). This "noticing"/"becoming present" tends to happen quite often throughout the day. I am trying to be more and more mindful throughout life. This (mostly) happens automatically now, but there are still many instances where the mind starts to ramble and I get lost in thought. So, there's still more to gain. @tsuki True, it seems quite effortless at this point for me. Noticing, letting go and bringing the attention back to the task truly seems to be the only thing that would work longterm. Thanks for your input! @QeenB I also at times feel "stuck" in observer-mode, at least with most of the present attention, when talking to others. Here I try to bring the attention back to the conversation, yet it's often only partially successful. I think the key here is just doing what you usually will hear from people that teach meditation, and/or about other spiritual stuff. Notice, let go & put your attention back on whatever it was (in meditation it's often the breath, but in this case the conversation). @Quanty I am still practising this. Acceptance & Complete surrender to reality.

Hey lads! My sleep is overall pretty bad (insomnia). I usually wake up multiple times early in the morning, and struggle to get back to sleep. I am physically and mentally tired when I need to be awake, which then again costs me a lot of energy. I've already done quite a few things besides taking supplements for good sleep, although I am on anti-depressants and one usually helps me get tired at night. So, I am currently looking for supplements or similar that might encourage a good night's rest, and thought that some of you might have some ideas regarding this topic.

Nice! I hope your body & mind adjusts quickly. I think it depends on the medication you take, your psyché etc., regarding the ego. It heavily depends on how dependant/addicted your body & mind is. Currently, I'm going without one medication, out of two different anti-depressants. The withdrawal symptoms are sh*t, and it tears a bit on me/costs me quite a bit of energy. The ego here, wants to resist feeling how I currently feel, so I hear it shrieking at times. But, I gotta go through with it. *inhale* - *exhale* For some, going without certain meds can cause heavy unpleasant symptoms to the point where they would rather keep doing them instead of coming down. Some meds make you feel better than "normally" when you're clean, and some minds are a bit addicted to feeling better than without any substance. So, they often add this to their identification, and even create limiting beliefs such as, "I can't do sh*t without meds.", "Life isn't great anyway... why should I keep bothering going without substances that make it more pleasant? I mean... without them it's hell and it's impossible for me to change my beliefs/views about me & reality anyway, so why bother trying?", "Meds make me feel more confident, why should I go without them?". and so on... The ego at times even likes to "brag" about taking meds/making it into a "competition" of sorts. "Oh dude, I am on this and that. You're just on one medication, LOL. I clearly have it harder than you." I mean meds can be great and I would advice certain people to give them a shot, yet one should be vary when the ego absolutely can't see a world without them (especcially when it comes to mental health meds such as anti-depressants).

@moon777light Ah, thanks for the insight @pluto I agree. I've been going down on my medication, now I have to deal with withdrawal symptoms.

@moon777light Hmm, why is that? Many sites recommend melatonin. @InfinitePotential @Colin I never knew of blue light cancelling eyewear till now. I need to dig deeper into this.

Hey guys! So, I've been feeling energy-like sensations (at least that's what I would imagine energy to feel like), for some months now especcially around my hands/palms. I think meditation amplified that sensation over the past weeks. It seems to slowly "spread" over to my arms aswell and other body-parts. Has anyone insight on what this could be?

What do you mean by "blow flow"? Blood-flow?

@moon777light Thanks for the heads-up! I got a combination of Vitamin D & K2 luckily. @Maxi Thanks! I need to bookmark that site.

Sorry for the late reply guys... I now (weeks ago) have bought some supplements, and I am looking into the things mentioned here too. Sadly I can't try out everything suggested currently since it would blow my budget, but later on I'll try out some new things. Some great information shared in this thread. You guys are awesome!

Hey guys. I wanted to share a somewhat crazy real-feeling „dream” (?) that happened to me a month or two ago. Now I don’t really remember the exact times, those are just pointers. This "report" was inspired by Leo's new video. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Before I go to bed (in my case sofa) I make sure to take antidepressants, those usually make me feel somewhat tired – without them I could just stay up all night long, and I meditate to further calm the mind. I did those things that day too. So, it all started by me trying to get some sleep at probably around 00:15. The mind seemed to be quiet to a certain degree, but I felt only a bit sleepy but not really as much as I usually do. I waited to feel more tired, but it just wouldn’t really hit me. I thought that I would just try to get some sleep anyway and laid down on the sofa. Time went by, nothing changed. I then turned on some music that usually does a good job helping me relax/sleep and I gave it another try. Time went by again, nothing really changed. I then thought that a guided sleeping meditation might do some good, so I tried that. Again… nothing really changed. I turned on a different sleeping meditation, you guessed it. Then I tried another one but… nope. It was probably around 06:00 by then, and I still had not gained a few minutes of sleep. I was frustrated at that point. I just switched back to regular relaxing music, and I started focusing on my breath, bodily sensations etc., with half open eyes, while lying there on the couch. This is where it gets crazy. A few minutes flew by, and suddenly I heard two voices. A male and a female voice. Both sounded like adults, maybe around 30-45-ish. They were first talking amongst themselves, but then the male voice talked to me saying things like, “Relax. Everything is fine, get some sleep.” Music was still playing in the background and my eyes were still half open, so confusion and curiosity kicked in. In my mind I went, “Wha… this is crazy, I can hear you guys. Can you actually hear me if I just use thought?” – on this the answer was, “Yes we can hear you." So I asked them questions like… “How is it where you are?” – the answer was, “When it’s night for you, it’s day for us.” The female voice by then also kept talking to me. I asked, “If you think of a place like… California, can you somehow teleport/travel to this destination?” – “Yeah, we can.” This went back and forth for a while. I started to get more relaxed, and those voices told me again things like… “It’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about, get some sleep.” Now, this is where it gets more “crazy”. While they were talking to me, and I to them, it felt as if I got a shoulder massage (a good one too). I just laid there with my eyes opening half-way now and then, and it literally was/felt as if someone was behind me, giving me a massage. Maybe 15 minutes in, I fell asleep. When I woke up I was just in awe. I mean… holy sh*t, everything felt so damn real. That’s really a point where one begins to question what is “real” in the first place. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ This is something I won’t forget in a long time. It's crazy how your paradigm of reality can just "melt"/overlap with things that you didn't really think were possible.

Hey guys, honestly I am not really sure how to structure this properly since things seem scattered, but I’ll give it my best. I mainly use psychedelics for self-“discovery”/self-inquiry and meditation. So yesterday, I felt that it would be a good day to start this journey. What maybe really sparked me to take LSD, was the fact that I felt more aware than on other days, so I hoped that I would go extra deep this day. My mood was good. I was alone sitting in my room. I had food, things to drink, relaxing music, my guitar and other stuff at hand so it would generally be a good experience. I took LSD around 13:00, four tabs at first. I sat there being mindful (I am trying to be mindful 24/7 – started only recently), listening to music, Alan Watts etc. Time passes, probably 01:30h but nothing really noticeable changes perception wise. Sure I was overall a bit more aware, but I expected more. So, I took two more tabs and waited for the effects to come up. Still, not really what I expected, but I decided to accept it for what it is and just started meditating. Meditation was alright – not much of a change but I decided to meditate for a bit over an hour, which was quite the enduring of pain. I usually meditate 30-40 minutes, if I do longer sits my leg will start to scream in pain. But this time, I was determined to accept the pain, notice it and continue. The pain got more and more noticeable, so in the end of the 1h+ I stood up and sat on the couch to meditate with music, and whilst having a more comfortable position for the legs. I think I sat there for 50 minutes while trying to be aware and just noticing stuff. Then I opened my eyes, and started to self-inquire more deeply (I tend to do it a bit during meditation too using mainly awareness.) I think that I’ve had some insights, and man I’ve gotten to a state where I felt connected to everything. I wondered at first… “Ok, so you’re not this because this changes. “You’re not that because that also changes.” etc. and then it kinda hit me, “What are you not?” – this I find difficult to phrase correctly, since it can be interpreted wrong. With, “What aren’t you?” I mean… what the hell are you not in current experience? x) Everything is you, so what aren’t you? How can anything be “not you”? So once I somehow had this train of thought feelings of being everything, or at least feeling that everything is connected came up. I noticed that feelings and thought aren’t me, at least not the core me that I am trying to become conscious of. I think the illusory ego tried to trick me here, in thinking that I’ve figured it out. It was so damn sneaky, that at times it seemed that I had to consciously think in order to have thought. So… that’s where things slowly went out of hand. I noticed that “the voice” or monkey mind started to become more aggressive. It was saying things like “Dude you saw through the illusion. Man, now I can say that I pierced through the truth. Now things will be much easier. Man, you don’t really feel that happy but maybe you’re enlightened now after all since the “real” you is not an emotion." I was mindful here. I saw that yes it was quite the experience, but monkey mind still did its thing and there was no real peace/full acceptance at all anyhow, so I still had a way to go towards enlightenment. It was probably around 22:00 (+-) and by this time I felt rather anxious and depressed, and monkey mind got louder and quite hostile. It turned from, “Well shit, I feel like I am everything, that’s so beautiful.” to, “You’re a fucking idiot, thinking you can get rid of me!? Why don’t you just give up already and fucking off yourself you worthless cowardly cu**? Thinking you can avoid and control me huh?” It talked non-stop even when I tried to distract myself playing the guitar, watching videos etc. I finally decided to do my final meditation of the day, and oh man… I sat down, the voice was still rambling but I just started to focus on my breathing and it slowly got a bit quieter. Well… what do when the voice tactic doesn’t work as good anymore? Yeah, let’s do closed-eye visuals. Here it went absolutely insane. I saw the most gruesome shit you can imagine, constant images. It involved gore, tons of gore. People getting their throat slit, maggots coming out from open wounds, people getting tortured, me cutting my wrist with a knife, people getting raped and gored afterwards, “evil/demonic” faces in jump scare-style, people burning – eaten alive – self mutilation – getting their guts ripped out and so on… I sat through it, but I think it’s safe to say that it was quite… not so that what I hoped for. This just goes to show how rotten and fucked up my mind is. I would say it went from a relatively good experience to, “well let me tell & show you a few things m8”. Even though it has been months since I tripped before that and the one before this was great, I think I might be better off staying away from psychedelics, at least for a while.

Hey guys. I've been feeling depressed for years now, and there is a big part of me that doesn't expect anything out of life anymore. This part has already completely given up on life. The first few years of trying to "fix" my mental state were hard but there was still a glimpse of authentically wanting to reach something in life, and/or atleast continue to fight the battle. Yet, especially in the last two years this glimpse isn't really there anymore. There are moments in my life, where I find myself being a bit grateful for being able to still experience certain things, but those are very rare. I always find myself being between giving up, and keeping on fighting. On one side my mind has already given up, it's saying like, "Well, life is not for me. Why bother playing the game of life which you mostly perceive as negative, frustrating, miserable, when you can quit?" The other side is saying something like, "You have so much potential, although life to you currrently seems dull, frustrating etc. it's possible to turn this around. It's possible for you, to live a joyful and a fulfilling life. The only thing that keeps you from living one, is how you interpret the things you perceive. You don't see life currently as it is, you see it how the mind chooses to interpret it. With work, you can accomplish things that you didn't think were possible." So... this kind of sucks being stuck in-between those two opposites. Instead of choosing one to go with, there is always this inner conflict. Even though if I would choose the more positive option, the mind would still not really want to get better, because on some level it has given up completely, it feels/seems impossible to convince the mind otherwise. I feel completely worn out and tired of life. There is zero motivation, and I'd rather just sleep all day long. I've been in therapy and I am on medication, yet they only scratch the surface of the deeper issues. I wouldn't even really mind if someone put a gun to my head, hell I'd probably just laugh. I feel trapped in deep neurotic patterns. Here, I am trying to be mindful, seeing feelings & thoughts for what they are etc., meditation/self-inquiry & contemplation helps me with that too, but really the mind is just tired. The only positive I can get out from this, is that I am able to surrender rather easily to some degree when it comes to doing self-inquiry/"ego-deaths" and whatnot, since "I" don't really mind dying. I am not really sure where to go from here. This part of feeling that life isn't for me is pretty static. It's like a wall and it seems that I don't have the equipment nor the strenght to break or climb it. I am trying to get into a clinic again, which might take two years to get in and do a bit of other therapy in the meantime. Yet... I don't really believe that it will change something. Sure, maybe I would experience a bit of motivation & drive here and there while being there, but then this would crumble down again and I am back at the start - that's atleast my assumption and the mindset I am bringing with me. This mindset is again, very static. I am open to whatever is there, but deep down as I already said, the mind has made its decision. Any tips/pointers on how to deal with this?

I currently feel alright. The day after the trip was meh, it seemed that I wasn't able to stay mindful at all during the day. The mind just did its own thing, yet now it seems that I am able to be as mindful again as I was before.

Haha, this pretty much sums it up. Thanks for sharing

Yea, I am guessing it's fighting for its survival.

Hell, your input is always appreciated I have to say that I don't really have a strong foundation. I don't really eat that healthy - still need to look into that topic. I don't smoke, I seldom drink. I meditate daily and do also self-inquiry daily (still have to make it seperate from meditation). But my main struggle would be depression/mental illness, at times it's crippling. I think if that was different, then the trip might have turned out better. I am guessing that the weak ego is trying its best to keep "me" from getting better/seeing through the illusion, and it does that using suicide/gore/death as its main weapon since I don't really mind dying (that much). It surely would be a big + if I had a better foundation.

I need to definitely detach more. I find it usually very easy to surrender (I mainly do high doses, since I again find it usually easy to let go and I tend to get more insights from them) , yet on this part where the mind started to brawl just surrendering didn't seem to do much, since there was a constant flow of negative input that I became aware of. It was tough to not try to control any of it, since thought wasn't the only thing that was there. But yea, six tabs on this one. Didn't you trip recently on LSD? Just be prepared that your body might have a higher tolerance now/next week. Well.... shouldn't be that much of a deal I think, 3 weeks to 1 months between trips is "ideal" when it comes to tolerance.

You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week And there's no promises of peace or of happiness Well is this why you cling to every little thing And pulverize and derange all your senses Maybe life is a song but you're scared to sing along Until the very ending Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know Ideas that strengthen who we've been It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds From the chains and shackles that they're in Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free In a dark and storming sea You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast You say that you know that the good Lord's in control He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul But at the end of the day when every price has been paid You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold Then won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die You'll die like you're afraid to go Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know Ideas that strengthen who we've been It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds From chains and shackles that they're in From the chains and shackles that they're in Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all Category - Enlightenment, Consciousness & Meditation Hmm... what is there to say about it. "Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all"

Thanks man, I hope you find your way

I've been wondering what it means that reality is infinite. What does this entail/mean? - Is it infinitely big? - Does it mean that everything even mystical creatures like physical pink unicorns exist? - Does it mean that there are multiple (infinite?) Tommy's exactly like "my" body and ego, doing their thing and perceiving some sort of experience? - Does it mean that "evil" does exist even though it's rather a perception/interpretation of content, because of reality being infinite? (I saw Leo's video on evil and it resonates with my interpretation of reality. I am bringing this up because I've had a discussion with someone saying that it does exist because it's a part of "reality".) Now, personally I think that it's all (sorta like) a dream, or atleast that's what enlightened people tend to say. So really in my mind I go "So all experience is just like a dream, an illusion of perceptions and experience. That means that nothing ever has been "real", nor is the current experience any different." But, then I also go "Well, sure it might be like a dream but it's all we know, so isn't it plausible to say that the content within reality/awareness is real? Maybe it might only be real from a human/animal perspective, but doesn't this mean that it is real in some sense? I mean there seems to be an experience that each individual has, sure those are subjective but subjectivity is all we know. Aren't those individual experiences real? - They seem to exist within awareness, otherwise there wouldn't be experience at all, right? So... maybe evil does exist within it." I am very conflicted on the one above, since I am unsure what to classify as real or unreal. So... what does it really mean that reality is infinite? This is probably something to be experienced, but I hope that some of you can somehow verbally sorta put it into words.