Max_V

@Leo Gura Then what do I do right now? Should I just suffer until I suddenly get insights and can move on? Being like I am right now, automatically comes with the judgement that because I’m not where I want to be and as free as I want to be, until I get there I am flawed.

@Nahm Yes, but if that’s true and they are only sensations, why do I suffer through them?

@Leo Gura You make it sound so simple. So far, it seems like that happening and when it happens is completely out of my control. If I could consciously drop my POV and feel whole again, I would. I would love to be where you are, but other than working every day to expand my awareness, I don't think I have control over when it happens.

@Leo Gura From my point of view, how do events that bring rise to deep emotional and physical pain exist out of love? What does the attachment to my created self have to do with not understanding the happening of suffering and pain?

@Nahm Yes, that's true. There are some thoughts that make these sensations painful to experience. The thoughts that I'm aware of right now are: "What if her spirit will haunt me because I feel guided and alive?" "I am helpless in stopping what happened" "I am helpless in protecting vulnerability" "How can such evil exists, it feels so incredibly painful." "Why are there so many people experiencing pain, what is the reason it must exist? there is no apparent reason that I see."

@Leo Gura Oke, so horrible acts happen so that people become more aware of the pain that exists and thus everything moves forward? I'd like to be able to see these truths for myself, not having control over when insights come is really difficult on me.

@Nahm In my stomach and heart area. My heart feels like it's burning and my stomach feels contracted and heavy.

@Nahm Dread, guilt

@Nahm I am itching for a higher truth. It's just that I've tried for almost 4 years now to become aware of truths, but so far, nothing really revealed itself, only slow burning away of untruth in me. I guess that made me a bit pessimistic when it comes to contemplating, I don't have control over when answers arive so that leaves me empty handed and unable to move forward. Can you help me with this? I feel such an incredible involvement and sadness concerning this girl. Not finding it fair that I'm so lucky with how guided I feel by everything and her having her life stop after such a short time. It's not right to me. Why do I get to be here right now and she doesn't, why do I deserve to exist? It haunts me how scared and lonely she must have felt. I don't know what to do.

@Joseph Maynor However much I appreciate you trying to pull me into the direction of direct experience, I don't have control over when these insights come, although finding out truth is very important to me, right now I need talk that can give some clarification that doesn't require me to wait to when I grasp these truths. I'll be moving into that direction but for now I need something that can put some ease to this dissonance I feel towards awful things happening to people, and in particular this girl I was talking about. @Nahm How do you feel about this?

@Solonius How do you know the universe is indifferent?

@SoonHei I do want the best for myself. But doesn't anyone? maybe not consciously, but everyone in their own possibly twisted way opperate out of best self-interest. Why would I get ' the best' and that girl I was talking about, gets murdered?

Love that show so much

I was eating whole foods plant based before. About 60% carbs 20% fats and 20% protein. Putting my meals into Cronometer every day to track my nutrients, always 200+ calories above my maintaince level, etc. On paper, I should have been thriving and feeling amazing acording to vegan science, but I felt really weak in my body and depressed. What made me switch was the fragileness of my body and how I couldn't really do any type of movement with explosiveness anymore. I missed that fire in my body and sweat leaking off my skin. That's what I noticed came back when I started including some animal products again. I could finally be explosive and feel fire in me again. During that time I was already suicidal, not being able to do one of the only things that brought me happiness in life anymore -- moving my body, made it so I had to do something, otherwise I might not have been here anymore.

@Shiva That's exactly how veganism should be, no labels. It's sad it degraded into being a strong hold ideology to most people. I'm personally not fully plant-based anymore. It was not serving me. My body needed some animal products in order to feel fully thriving. I still eat mostly plant based, just added honey, fish, and eggs.

@fridjonk Damn, that’s really cool !

Don't know if you guys know Mike, but back in 2014 he was the guy I used to watch for workout tips and stuff like that. Then, suddenly he left the channel completely without really a clear explanation and went mia for like 5 years. Now he's back, and explains how his break originated from him having a sort of spiritual awakening (although he doesn't use those words precisely, I feel like this is what he is pointing to), and thus decided to leave everything completely to figure out what happened to him. If you also were a viewer of his, I thought you might find this interesting:

@Natasha It’s so weird and at the same time amazing to see how all these people I have been looking up to as a kid almost all became more and more conscious.

I've noticed lately that the videos of Real Social Dynamics have been getting really deep. I wanted to share.

Don't know how this topic suddenly got revived again, lol. I don't really know who to trust and to listen to, I guess if you like watching RSD and feel like their videos are helping you, go for it. If not, you could try other dating-related companies that offer different perspectives. In the end, just consume content that you resonate with and helps you further your journey.

Thanks, that video was quite interesting and helpful. I guess I have learned-helplessness in a lot of ways. Trying to find my way out of it .

Nice clickbait, m8

I might buy this book, looks really interesting. Have you guys read this book and do you consider it valuable?

Much love dude. Either way you show it, we all know you have the best intentions and just want to help. Thanks for participating on this forum.

Right now I’m contemplating something that has (I think) always been at the basis of experiencing myself. There is always a feeling of worthlessness, brokenness, weakness, and inferiorness present in my experience. It’s something that for long I’ve taken granted as the experience of ‘me’. Sometimes when this self feels threatened, it comes very strongly to the foreground. When it feels relatively safe it is still in my background experience. Uncovering the Truth about this will radically alter and change the person that I feel myself to be since this is one of the most intimate parts of my self-experience. So, I have been contemplating it’s origin for a long time and these last of couple weeks daily. I don’t know how to deal with it’s defense mechanisms. The two that I’ve noticed mostly is sudden sleepiness and losing the consciousness of this feeling in my experience. I suddenly cannot sense it anymore. It feels like my questions go nowhere and my focus cannot pinpoint what is the target of the contemplation. How do I deal with defense mechanisms?