Bart

In case someone was wandering how this went. I decided to pull the trigger and requested "speak time" on a club meeting. I have told the board and members that I wanted to leave for personal reasons. I briefly explained why and gave them my reasons to leave the club. I was hoping for "out of club" so that I could be a free man without any new enemies so to say. They held a brief meeting and came back with the decision that they have unanimously agreed that I will recive a untimely "Leave of absence" status. Becouse of my valued contribution to the club. As you may understand I was at least shocked but also very relieved by this. It means basically that we are still friends/brothers without being a member . In the end it all turned out well. Thanks for all the advice it helped me a lot .

Thank you for the post. By stating that there is no way back I mean that literally. Once you're out you're out. That is the only thing that is bothering me. I know we all have different paths and we can come together and part just as easily. Trying to keep friends with former club members is very difficult and almost impossible. It is a subculture that is very rigid in itself. Although I have much trouble moving on I definitely will have to to maintain progress. Thanks for the advice.

Just to share my thoughts and maybe some advice Since I started my self actualisation /spiritual journey I have noticed that I slowly started to loose intrest in some people around me. After that I noticed that some closer friends have become strangers to me. I just have no common ground with them anymore. I have been in and around motorclubs most my life and lately I have noticed that I don't even fit in my club anymore. I still enjoy riding my bike but mostly alone. I can't handle myself in a group anymore. I think of leaving them very often but what's holding me back is the fact that I will loose a few close friends/brothers. If I'm out there's no way back. This dilemma is on my mind for quite some time. I will loose many people and a few very close friends at once. I'm not getting happy anymore as I used to from the rides and club nights. I preferto stick to myself. My question is: has anyone else experienced this and how to deal with it. Maybe a word of advice could be useful.

@Henri Thank you. This actually makes sense. Thanks for your explanation.

I had a very strange thing happen to me few days ago. Let me explain the situation and what happened. Me and my girlfriend broke up in the first week of January. I was really heart broken because of that. She was my first real love and we have had a relationship in the past (19 years ago for 2 years) and we came across each others paths during both our divorces. This time we again were 2 years together and she broke up with me cause she wanted to dedicate herself to her artistic life. The love did not end but she thinks she should do this. This really tore my heart in half. I was really heart broken and felt both emotional and physical pain during this time. Anyway 2 days ago she came by at my workplace to pickup her van. It was in my storage and we had a conversation about "us" or what's left of it. At some point during that conversation she starts talking about how she sees herself in a few years and so on. At that point I felt my awareness go up like 1000% for no apparent reason. Just there was this sudden awareness. I don't know what triggered it but it just happened. Anyway after she left I went home and I was sitting in my car waiting for the light to turn green and all of the sudden everything fell into place. It wasn't in my mind but more internal as in ME. Everything came together and it is all ok. After that I went to the gym to work out and had a moment of sorrow about losing her(tears in my eyes) and again there was this click. And the sorrow was gone. I went home and felt really good on a deeper level. As I woke up next day everything seems ok. I still miss her a bit but now it is all fine, I don't feel any sorrow or sadness anymore. Next day I even felt geniuanly happy for first in 2 months. I went from an emotional wreck to a balanced mindset in just a click. I don't know how it is possible but it just happened. Any thought what this could have been.

Rotterdam, Netherlands

Actions speak louder than words. Show her that you can be trustworthy. But the real problem is on her end this spectrum. Did she have a reason to go through your phone in the first place. If yes you gave her that reason. If no than she has issues that she must solve herself first.

Looks like she hurt herself by going through your phone. You can always dig up some unwanted shit ftom the past. And once u found it then it becomes a problem. What is the trust level when your guy or girl needs to check on your devices. My stuff always lies unblocked and if you want to dig in it be my guest. I have nothing to hide but note that you just showed me that you don't trust me. That is always the beginning of the end. And if you accidentally find something from the past, leave it in the past it is your problem then. I won't downplay or lie about it. It is my past and you were not a part of it, if it bothers you sorry but I can't change it so it will make you conviniant. Just my 5 cents.