TeamBills

I've watched the self deception videos multiple times and I've not gotten benefit from it. Would you be willing to explain why it helped you?

@DrMobius Have you experienced it?

@Strikr You're choosing to reject likely life changing material based on a notion of wanting things for free and getting your way. That doesn't make much sense to me.

Very true. I have spent loads of time on stuff that got me no results. @SgtPepper What a great list thank you. @here-now That was badass! Thanks for sharing that video. Wow, I'm really happy I made this thread. I would feel better if psychedelics were legal, and regulated by the government. The whole concept of finding a dealer and getting them from him seems really sketchy to me. I have my doubts that you can properly test this stuff making sure it is safe, but that is an assumption I haven't done any research on the matter. It's odd that this is my stance now because when I went to college I was getting substances from people I didn't know, and I was not testing that stuff. It didn't really occur to me how radical this was until I looked back at the events later on. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal, I was pretty nonchalant over it.

So, I have tried basically every depression and OCD medication out there. They have been (almost) useless. Currently I have not paid much attention to the psychedelic content of actualized.org. I'm curious about psychedelics. I'm trying to plan some things out long term in my life, and that is why I am asking this question on the forum. Just because a person (Leo) or a group of people (this forum) recommend psychedelics does not mean that I am going to start trying them. I want to do the research myself so I know what I am (possibly) getting into. I don't want to take the laissez faire approach I took to my first experiences with chemicals. I am wondering the amount of time it took people on here to research: how psychedelics work, how they effect your brain, short term and long term effects of psychedelic use, what is possible with psychedelics, why they are lumped together with other drugs in mainstream culture, can they cause brain damage, how to test psychedelics to make sure you aren't buying something dangerous or something that is not a psychedelic, has this psychedelic been tested, drug testing kits, how do I know if my source is a quality source, researching dosages, weighing dosages, trip sitters, possible allergic reactions, addiction potential, etc etc. To me it seems like it would take me many, many hours to do the proper research needed before I ever took a psychedelic. I am hoping for people of this community to help give me a ballpark of the amount of hours of research it would take. (I am aware of the content on actualized.org about psychedelics but I am going to research more then just the actualized.org content.) Thanks for the help appreciate it!

I guess it is something you have to experience to understand.

@Faceless Thank you for the response. That was a problem I had, and the "do nothing" meditation technique that Leo did a video about has helped me get over "accomplishing" something when meditating. You make a good point with examples about doing nothing being misunderstood. I never thought about it like that. Also, your avatar is badass.

I've been meditating for an hour on and off for over 2.5 years. Recently I've noticed meditation extremely painful. I have this immediate urge of wanting to do some activity or project after my meditating because just sitting and doing "nothing" is too painful. Do you think trying to distract myself with activities is bad? Should I be trying to embrace this pain? Sometimes I try to embrace the pain because it ends up being less painful, but recently I have found more comfort in trying to distract myself by keeping busy. Off topic, has anyone thought about creating an official meditation topic instead of all these separate topics about meditation cluttering up the forum?

Everyone should buy the book list and life purpose course. To me it is a common sense decision, as long as you aren't super low on money. The life purpose course isn't too cheap.

I haven't looked much into the psychedelic content but I remember Leo talking about something like "drowning in the beauty of realizing you are God." My question is, ok I'm God, so what? What makes it so beautiful? For the record I'm completely honest with myself about wanting enjoyment and peace > Truth.

When I said pain I was referring to worrying/stress/depression not physical pain. I made a mistake on my first post, I meant to say a year and a half not 2 and a half years. @dorg Thank you for the response. I don't do strong determination sitting. I sit in a regular chair. I have not realized the state you are talking about. Are you referring to enlightment? It sounds like stuff I have heard about enlightment. @Leo Gura Thank you for the response. Boredom? Hmm that is an interesting take that I have not thought of before. I'll think about that some more. I did a week long nonstop retreat last November. I learned a few valuable things. 1. I was not bored and did not crave stimulation for one second. I was blown away by this. The thought of boredom did come up maybe once or twice but then I realized immediately that I was having plenty of fun doing what I was doing and laughed off the notion of being bored. I still can't believe I never craved stimulation for the full week. 2. I think there is an older video you did about how meditating could be more fun then even the greatest video games, tv, sex etc. I was very skeptical when you stated that. But there was a period of that week where I realized what you were talking about was true. It was a period of "being", I'm not good at explaining it in words. It is something you would have to experience for your self to understand. @Solace Thank you for the response. I like what you mentioned about it being a journey. Sounds a lot like Leo's recent video about life being a maze. @Torkys Thank you for the response. I will try to look more into. I think distracting yourself sometimes gets a bad rep in the self help field. I think it is something good, as long as you keep the amount of time you are doing it under control. A benefit I have noticed from distracting myself is that it lets me escape what I don't like about the present moment and reminds me of the joys of life. Something that I picked up on when I was meditating today was to be indifferent about the quality of the present moment. I don't want to get my hopes up because I have come up with little tricks before that didn't end up really doing anything, but this "thought" that I came up with today has seemed to calm me down and has helped me relax some more. I know that I am very neurotic about wanting the present moment to be of better quality, and when I stop demanding it to be a certain quality, and instead become indifferent to the quality, I notice myself relax more.

I don't really understand what you meant with this post. What I would recommend is going to counselling and get help from people you know as far as recommendations for a good counselor that has helped them. I wonder what a quality counselor would think of what you are saying.

I'm shocked with the amount of people that don't buy the book list.

That is a default position, an assumption. Maybe after death we still have complete brain function. We have no idea what happens. Hot damn can you give me the secret formula? For me, I find life very interesting because of the chance of my worries going away and everything working out. I have a hard time explaining it in words. Does this statement help?

I don't understand why people in the U.S. are so obsessed with Trump. It feels to me like people never stop talking about him. Has anyone else noticed how late night television has turned into lets complain about Donald Trump for an hour?

Saying that is rude. This person, at least to me, isn't whining at all. Just stating their claim pretty calmly. @TheSomeBody Even though you stated that you are not depressed your posts to me seem like you are depressed. I believe if someone is thinking of suicide then that person probably has depression. Agree. Have you thought about counselling? Do you have insurance that would cover it? I have a theory on counselling. I believe 1/3 counselors can improve your life in at least a decent way. I believe counselling has a bad rep because those people have gotten unlucky with the 1/3 odds. Even though it is 1/3 you can still go 0/8, for example. I believe almost all counselors try to help and want to help, but I think that counselling is one of the hardest jobs possible to be good at. I hear you. I've been putting in the work and yet where are my results! I am currently reading Arnold Schwarzenegger's autobiography and it has been very inspiration to me. Like you, I struggle with finding meaning in doing anything. This book has been helping me fight that. This sounds really great on paper. You are not the first person I have read type this. The thing is I have yet to read someone explain why this is and be able to relate that to the person who feels the opposite.

I'm definitely no expert in a situation like this but it seems to me like she doesn't want to open up, so I wouldn't try to get her to open up. I would wait for her to tell me she wants to open up. Just because she doesn't want to open up doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with her.

@Nagma The fact that your problems/issues in life might work out makes life interesting.

Someone thought I might have it so I did research on it. What I learned with my research (only with the Internet) is that anyone on the planet could have autism because it is worded in a way that is so completely vague. I am getting a neuropsyce test this month which should answer if I have it.

I look at it differently. I look at it as someone who isn't bothered by pain along with not being happy with happiness. Someone who is in-different. Honestly, it doesn't sound too bad. I think the dates on this forum are off. It is not December 8th. Unless they are putting the day in front of the month. I have seen dates in the form: year/month/day but not day/month/year.

I have the hate part but not the love part lol. Any communication I have with people is so I don't go crazy being completely isolated.

So I was able to clear out my schedule to do a meditation retreat for 5 days and 8 hours on the 6th day. I will be inside when I go to bed. I live in New York which means it is going to be out 25 to 35 degrees for the days I am outside and I do not like the cold. Anyone ever do a retreat in these temperatures? Any tips on how you didn't let the cold bother you? Thanks.

@Frode I've been thinking about studying what makes good writing. Do you have any other book suggestions on this topic?

@phoenix666 I enjoyed your mini report too. Thanks for the comment. "I actually do miss something. I miss simply being. I could do this forever. I could stay here forever. I wouldn't miss anything at all, not my family, not my friends, not my books, not the internet.. just being" I kind of felt the same way as this at times, it was really enjoyable.

I ended up doing the retreat right after I posted this thread, but I never updated you guys how it went, so I'm doing that now. First off, @Leo Gura was right with " Do it indoors. You can do a few sits per day outside to break things up." I tried to do it solely outside but what I noticed is that when you do it solely outside your mind gets so focused on how cold you are that that is what it mostly thinks about which is a distraction from what you are trying to do. What shocked me about my retreat is that I had zero craving for stimulation. This shocked me. Not once was I restless. I did think about wanting stimulation of some kind a few times, but right after I thought that thought I realized that sitting here meditating was more enjoyable than any type of stimulation that I was thinking about (I wouldn't call that a craving for stimulation.) What I learned on my retreat is that meditation really is more enjoyable then video games, computer, tv etc. It's this weird feeling/realization that is hard to describe unless you feel it for yourself. I remember watching one of Leo's videos where he said that meditation was more fun then activities like video games, computer etc but I was skeptical. Not anymore. I could totally see how someone could see that. Again, it is a hard thing to explain unless you feel it for yourself.