abgespaced

@Loreena Are you still depressed? What are you depressed about?

@mathieu My advice: DO NOT quit your day job. This is your foundation for all your plans. Everything will take a big hit if you quit: finances, confidence, energy, independence, to name a few. It might feel good now to think about quitting but it won't when you're struggling to pay for rent, bills, food etc. And this will come across in your art. It might be shitty for you now to work as an engineer, but it gives you more options than not having a steady job. Instead of looking at the problem in a binary sense, as in, "I can only do one or the other", ask yourself how you can make a smooth transition from one to the other. For example, perhaps you could ask for reduced hours or even part time work while you build a portfolio. If your current employer says no, you can always look around for another job that offers more favourable hours. See my post here about career risk:

go all the way... IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

I've often wondered, do rap stars or famous actors regret their current situation, wishing they had chosen to do something they had natural strength in, such as science or engineering? Probably not.

Contribution keeps one on track. If you find yourself in a rut, just start giving again. It makes all the difference.

I did not enjoy my marketing subject at uni, nor did I find it useful. The psychology of influence would have been a much more valuable subject to study. I can't comment on the writing subjects.

@Lorcan One person's evil is another person's good, and vice versa. Make sure you assess the problems from all perspectives of those who benefit and those who suffer. You will find just as much good coming from from these evils as you do bad. Which is why you will face resistance to change. So whatever you do, don't try to change too much too quickly.

Do you feel you have a duty to perform on this Earth?

Which choice makes you happier today?

@Shin You were alpha for a day, then your head got in the way. Forget what you’ve learnt, and go back out and play.

Sometimes I wonder if it's Leo starting these threads just to make the forums look busier.

That men have a feminine energy within them and women have a masculine energy in them: that is the great curse of Carl Jung. An unfortunate legacy he left behind. Naturally, men do not possess anything feminine and women do not possess anything masculine. At the root level of the mind, masculinity is masculinity is masculinity. Same with femininity. There is no room for anything else down there. It is our social customs that continue to instil the opposite belief and perpetuate androgyny within individuals, which is the real cause of inertness. Yes, healthy society as a whole is androgynous as it contains both masculine and feminine poles, but androgyny within individuals cancels the poles between individuals and weakens the connections. Where most people get confused is in labelling behaviours, qualities and characteristics such as nurturing, caring, consideration, giving, creating, comforting etc as "feminine", and action taking, courage, decisiveness, confidence, strength as "masculine". This is incorrect. These behaviours, qualities and characteristics can be expressed to a greater or lesser degree in any individual, male or female, in combination with any level of masculinity in men or femininity in women. For example, a male nurse or psychologist can have lots of nurturing and empathic energy towards his clients, but still be very masculine. Likewise, a successful business woman can be very action prone and confident, but still be very feminine.

Yeah good point. You should move this to the [nofap] thread.

Anyone here have any experience running a consulting business? I'm considering consulting men on masculinity, relationship and dating issues. Any input on how to get started? Thanks!

@Lai is a master seducer! Don't be fooled by her innocent demeanour. That brown goo she's mixing up- love potion! Stay away!

If you feel that the game industry and concept art is your passion and purpose, why would you want your mission statement to be anything else? To me your mission statement sounds like a very, very distant goal. And like something that would be nice to have, but not critical to your life at this present moment, otherwise you would already be doing it. All that exists right now if the present moment and your passion for video games. That's your path. It might lead somewhere else, just like Leo's did, but you need to keep walking until you come to the end, if it even comes at all. You might discover that through video games you really can increase consciousness, life quality and happiness, but you'll never know if you stop walking that path.

"Pickup" is seduction. Everyone's doing it in their own special way.

Well then you need to find a new way to socialize. It's ok coming to a forum like this to express your insecurities and get help, or men's groups or other safe places, but for all normal social instances it is off-putting behaviour. It would be better to be silent actually. Look at Andy Warhol. One of the most seductive men in history and he hardly said a word. I don't think you lack interest at all. Otherwise you wouldn't have asked for help. You're just not interested in failing. But the only failure is to not try at all. Look, you just need to have one positive experience to see that the failures are worth it. Also, know that if you care anything for your mission in life, or your career, or having any kind of positive outcome success-wise, that your skill with women will have a huge impact on that.

All I meant was that your reptilian brain and your higher brain are located on the opposite ends of the spectrum of your mind, not that they oppose each other, although they often do. They are often in conflict because we have become very good at suppressing our natural instincts. Traditional femininity and masculinity has been shamed so much by our society that what we really are has become repulsive to us on an individual level. So we try to build a life with no "flaws", an "enlightened" life, a life of almost exclusively higher brain values. But this image of what we want to be and what we really are can be so different that it leads to cognitive dissonance on a deep level. And you see it expressed in all sorts of bad ways. E.g. religious people or public figures who seem so controlled on the surface, but then get caught for molesting. Think of life purpose like a capstone. Just like on Maslow's needs hierarchy. It's the final part of the pyramid, the decorative part. Some people believe the capstones of the Giza Pyramids in were made of gold. But they needed to build an entire pyramid before they could place that stone. And then what purpose did it serve? All conspiracies aside, this stone was mere decoration, a salute to the Gods, the finishing touch etc. Now you could argue that the entire purpose of the pyramid was to have the gold tip at the top. But you could put anything (or nothing) up there and it would still be a kick-ass pyramid. One could also argue that it's the gold tip that guides the construction. As in, it needs to be placed at X and Y coordinates at a certain height, and then build a supporting structure to place it. That's a good argument. In this light I can see how it would be prudent to keep the tip in mind while building, but also to remain flexible as you may never get to place that capstone, or you may not have any gold when the time comes, or you may never finish building the base etc. This is where it pays to be grateful for what you already have, and I guess this is the gist of my initial post.

Life purpose is an expression of the higher self. It's the tiny tip of the pyramid for a reason: it's not necessary for an amazing life. But passion... this is an expression of your core: your reptilian brain. Your being. "Who you really are" deep down (opposite of "higher" self). Your core is your masculinity or your femininity. If men and women are apples and oranges then this is your tree. It is your feeling of vitality, of feeling alive. If you live a life of passion, of vitality, of feeling alive, there in no purpose in a life purpose, other than as decoration. "Actualization" is nice to have, but it will provide you marginal results. The tip of the pyramid. Instead, we should aim for maximising our passion for life, expanding the base of the pyramid. This is your 80% of results. And you can get this simply by doing what makes you feel more masculine (for men) or more feminine (for women). You don't need purpose to do it. This should be everyone's goal. Maximising the expression of your core in a durable way. The actualizing will take care of itself.

Any strategy for implementing life purpose must take risk into account. Just like a high diver starts off on small diving boards, moving to the medium height board only after he has mastered the small one, and then the highest one only he has mastered the medium one. We can look at career strategy in the same way, using 3 buckets as an analogy. Let's take a toy inventor for example. 1. Her first career bucket might be a job in a factory, sewing buttons onto plush animals. This is the lowest risk bucket and the most necessary for her. With this bucket she can afford a roof over her head, food on the table and clothes on her body. She would not consider leaving this job or moving on from it unless she faced the same low level of risk in a better job/position. This bucket sits above the other two which only begin to fill once the first bucket is filled and begins to flow over. 2. Her second career bucket might be running a sewing business from home. This is the medium risk bucket for her. She should only start this business once she had spent enough time in her sewing job mastering sewing. And it would probably be wise to let the overflow from the first bucket fill in this second bucket a good deal before cutting off the flow. In other words, she shouldn't quit her factory job until she had thoroughly established her business enough that it can sustain it's own flow. This bucket sits in the middle of the other two and is the most critical. It is where most people fail. They empty their first bucket into it, only to find it empty after a year or two because they haven't established themselves in their business and lowered their risk to the point of sustainability. 3. Her third career bucket might be starting her own toy producing company. This is the highest risk bucket for her. She should only move onto filling this bucket with the overflow from her home sewing business. That is, she needs to attain a great deal of success, experience and expertise from her sewing business that filling this third bucket becomes a natural progression for her. This is the quickest emptying bucket and can only be filled by a competent person who knows themselves and their industry inside out, how to manage people, money, time etc. You cannot even reach this third bucket until you have filled the other two. And you won't get a stable flow into this bucket until you have mastered the other two and minimized the risk. I hope this gives you some perspective on implementing your life purpose. It is a slow, slow progression that should be attempted calmly, confidently and incrementally. It's nice to think big and go all out, thinking you can dive right into bucket three and swim with the sharks, but in all likelihood you will be eaten and pooped out as fish food.

Hesitation is deadly to seduction.

@Loreena Those mushies ought to be wearing off shortly yeah?

As long as you're not stalling as a buffer against rejection.

@Yen277 Assuming you're a guy then you can expect some level of distance from everyone, even your closest friends. It is healthy to keep some part of yourself to yourself that nobody else sees or affects. It provides internal security and creates and air of mystery that is attractive. Also keep in mind that men are naturally action prone and tend to form alliances/friendships with other men who have similar interests and partake in the same activities. This gives you common ground on which to walk conversationally, keeping the topic of conversation impersonal and directed towards some practical end. Think of some of the best conversations you have had with other guys. They were probably about some shared hobby you both enjoyed. Which is why as you grow and your interests change your friendships will also change. Simply keep an eye out for others in the spaces you are entering and see if you can find something that you admire about them. You will find some common ground in there.