dorg

As far as I have got with this: The root of laziness is the misapplied understanding that you are someone that does things, rather than the pure awareness that is aware of things.

@RaZor47 I have found that if I cannot trust people, it is because I cannot trust myself, IOW I cannot trust that I am adequate in any situation. This has improved as I realise that even the bad times are good, in that there is often a lesson in the bad time that results in a realisation. And this has lead to my mind state being more stable and not with the ups and downs that used to happen. And the more stable mind state is able to trust more as it is learning that nothing can really 'throw it'.

@Arkandeus When some people see you as aggressive or similarly reflecting back to them how they are, do you notice a change in your normal demenour; ie do you notice that you are not responding as you normally would, such as using aggressive or overly assertive speech?

As far as I can see, a thing (any thing) is a thought.

P. S. Also, when you have made progress, on no account go back. Once you have agreed on anything, stick with it like glue. She has to learn that what she has agreed is now part of your ongoing agreement. And would be best to do all this via email so that there is a record - and help you to take no notice of emotionality.

My experience with divorce: There is a time when talking to each other must end. Then it is time to start conversing via letter/email. Then there is a time that that must end. Then it is time to converse via a lawyer's letter. Best wishes,

Meditation is what I am, being someone is the addiction.

@RolandM Have you read Paul Levy's book "Dispelling Wetiko"? He had experience not dissimilar to your's. He has a very dim view of psychiatrists and mental hospitals. He also has video's on Youtube. I think you are undoubtedly sane. And welcome to the forum.

Great post @Joseph Maynor . Thank you.

@Thanatos13 Ok, just trying to help. Best wishes to you.

Let that die too then you will be free. Do you not see that that is the very thing that you take to be yourself. It is just thought clinging to the idea of itself. You are already free. You are nothing - beyond the idea of nothing. Yet this world goes on just as before without the idea of you.

I would follow that drive. It seems like you need some sort of structure around you to start/keep you on the path. If you went to a monastery or ashram it is my understanding that you are not committed to staying there for overlong. Could you not just see it as a start of a more directional path? Perhaps at least more enquiry into that? Or as a start, committing to frequent meditation and instruction at the Zen Centre that I recall you saying was near you. Recall you also saying something against that Centre; you could go round that, ie, I imagine that you know that all your objections are just mind resistance, nothing that cannot be overcome/ignored. But whatever... start, or follow something that will keep your vision alive. This is Most Important. This is your aliveness, your excitement, your path. No wonder you are experiencing fear - how wonderful - fear of the unknown is your own deep excitement mis-perceived; keep this manageable by following it, your own deep knowing, your authenticity, your true happiness. With best wishes,

@Feel Good Please do not dredge up too much at a time, otherwise I may bet bored.

I would be interested if you have some helpful comment, conveyed in a helpful tone. My posts have always been open for comment.

I'm taking the forum seriously. But even if I am taking myself seriously it's none of your business and you should learn when you are triggered and offering you pseudo advice. When you actually learn how to communicate with someone without an agenda then I'll gladly be open to your advices . @Feel Good What exactly about yourself are you taking seriously? Only a thought/belief? There, no advice, only questions. Ok?

@Feel Good You take some posts very personally. Look at why that is rather than reporting. Look at your triggers. They can be very revealing.

Oh not another one. Suppose you kept running to mommy when you were a kid too. Grow up!

Enjoyed reading your long post @Nahm . Lots of brilliance in there.

But you can observe yourself going into the activity or rather becoming the activity. You go from being the observer to being the movement into activity, to being the activity. You are still you whether you are the observer, the movement, or the activity. You are not a fixed identity, a fixed image of yourself - you are being, being the current experience you appear to be. This is called being mindful, aware, ie, not being lost nor having a fixed idea of oneself.

I realised this by questioning my situation. Where am I? It turned out that I was unable to separate my mental position from my physical position. IOW, my physical situation was my mental situation - that is, when I situate myself anywhere.

Great clarity there @who chit . Thank you.

You can know what suffering is when you no longer think you are someone somewhere. The "uneasy feeling", the "fear of the curiosity itself" are both basically fear or suffering. And as you "keep going with this" in sds - this feeling, this fear, this suffering - it disappears. You do not go insane, you wake up. This is because fear/anxiety/suffering only happens to a thought-to-be entity, the ego; IOW you as you think you are in this world. This only happens in mind/thought. Wake up - get out of mind/thought and do not go back in, or if you do, go back in consciously.

@Leo Gura Can we no longer present facts on this forum?

No one is trying to destabilise or undermine you. You can only do that to yourself.

This view appears to assume that problems/difficulties are part of a reality that is being ignored, whereas in fact they are part of the perspective that is perceiving them.