ardacigin

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Posts posted by ardacigin

  1. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    Some spiritual practitioners often look at celebrities and famous people on social media. See them socializing. Traveling to different places. Doing variety of activities. Laughing and enjoying life.

    And then they look at their own lives. Trying to meditate every day. Not feeling joy and happiness. Struggling. Feeling boredom and sadness. Not concentrating. Not feeling enough equanimity. And they hear monks and awakened people say: 'Meditation can induce unconditional happiness'

    And you think

    'Well, I can't even cultivate happiness and joy. This whole process is really dry, involves a lot of suffering and simply not that fun. Maybe unconditional happiness is possible for spiritual experts. But from where I'm standing, meditation results in states of no-mind and neutrality. I do experience some tranquil states but there is no happiness and joy. This is one of the reasons I've started this path and I can't even make myself happy. I feel sleepy, dull and neutral most of the day. In fact, I get more depressed after I've started meditation than before. I'm going to quit. What is wrong with me?'

    If this is what you are thinking, I'm here to help you and show you one of the ways that helped me manage these sorts of negative ruminations and overall negative mind states.

    Ever since I've understood how joyful states work and how to cultivate in the nervous system, I've found the answer to managing sadness, depression and neutrality one encounters on the spiritual path. If you've started to path to reduce suffering, then this is going to be a significant and powerful development towards that goal. Not only we will be reducing suffering but also increasing satisfaction one experiences from pleasurable sensations.

    If you have extreme problems like 'The Dark Night', then cultivating joyful states may not help without prior training. I've never experienced such intensities so I don't have much advice about that. But if you have the common spiritual depression I've mentioned above, then the jhana practice has the potential to transform your emotional states and be that 'solution' you are looking for.

    You don't need awakening per se to feel happier in your life. You don't even need awakening to feel RADICALLY happier in your life. Happiness is just an emotion. It can be cultivated skillfully with the right concentration, mindfulness and jhanic practices. You can take this conditioned positive state to an anti-depressant level (and also beyond) and let it pervade your not entire life (not just when you meditate).

    Here is my latest post explaining how to do this: 

     

    Also here is Culadasa's lectures on jhanas. Jhanas are actually culminations of the samatha practice. 

     

    Just know that this depression is a negative mental state you've cultivated for decades. Or maybe it is neutrality for you (not equanimity). But joy is a distinct and highly positive emotional state. Its cultivation will result in an overall increase in one's happiness.

    How can one glean more satisfaction from pleasures? Well, this is one way. 

    Hope this inspires some of you who are feeling depressed and feel like spirituality is not helping you.

     

  2. Posted

    On 10/5/2019 at 6:32 PM, ewerson18 said:

    This is very good, I barely can meditation 1 hour, but I'm on my way. I also want to meditate like yogis, many hours a day, and who knows, many days.

    I know it seems so far away and super-human but keep it up. Systematic training is THE key to fast but stable growth. Find a technique that works, stick to it and profit.

  3. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    1 hour ago, Maya_0 said:

    Another issue I have is tuning into a pleasant physical sensation. Access concentration only usually generates a pleasant feeling in my mind, not any noticable physical body sensations. I only feel a mental pleasure, not somatic pleasant sensations. I take it that the mental pleasure I feel is not a conducive object to switch my focus to when I drop the breath?

    Mental pleasure has a corresponding physical sensation. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to be aware of its existence. Now like I said: Smiling or remembering a happy moment from the past or present (like getting your first video game console etc.) will help get some pleasurable sensation in the body. 

    If there is none, just focus on that pleasant sensation around your head space after access concentration. Keep in mind that you not only need to cultivate stable attention to this subtle sensation but also awareness of the body as a whole while breath is on the background, very subtle. 

    With time and more practice, this will create rapture and joy. Sufficient awareness development is ESSENTIAL. Just concentration to the breath will not be enough for a jhana. You should get more comfortable with introspective awareness. With body awareness with the breath so that you can work on cultivating pleasant sensations that eventually leads to rapture, joy and first jhana. 

     

  4. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    19 minutes ago, Maya_0 said:

    I've been trying to attain these lately, but I feel certain issues are preventing me. For one, I experience pain from my posture after 30 minutes. The other issue seems that I don't switch to concentrating on a pleasant sensation in the body, but rather just continue concentrating on the breath.

    Remember the rule: You can't experience any jhana if you have pain in the body. So just drop that posture altogether. I personally can manage dullness so I literally lay down for a 5-15 mins until the pain goes away and continue the meditation like that until I increase the joy. 

    For the sitting posture, use pillows as back support. Do the 'recline' posture where the body is straight but at a 110% sort of angle rather than a full erect and uncomfortable 90% angle. Leigh and Culadasa actually both recommend doing this posture for jhana practice. It must be alert but also not uncomfortable.

    19 minutes ago, Maya_0 said:

    The other issue seems that I don't switch to concentrating on a pleasant sensation in the body, but rather just continue concentrating on the breath.

    This was my problem as well. In fact, for close to a year, I haven't experienced the 1st jhana simply because I've concentrated on the breath with TMI so much. I didn't think jhanas would be THIS amazing and powerful. 

    Culadasa is always saying 'Your body and mind must be infused with joy and tranquility'

    Yeah, I got the tranquility but there is no joy. 

    Well, now I understand why. His instructions on the first jhana are essential.

    Drop the attention on the breath. And then focus on the pleasent sensations. Don't completely throw it out. Keep the breath in awareness. So that is why awareness muscles need some extra training and this is what makes jhanas slightly challenging. Stage 5-6 must be minimum and awareness should be stable prior to attempting a jhana.

    Don't be afraid to drop the breath. Once I did that, jhana arised fairly quickly.  But I had to smile for a while until the pleasent sensation arised. So I recommend that a lot as well.

    19 minutes ago, Maya_0 said:

    It has left me very curious of what a real jhana feels like. I hope to continue trying to get into the jhanas during next few days.

    Jhana feels like taking a strong anti-depressant. It is not subtle AT ALL. I can now understand why people are addicted to anti-depressants. This is amazing stuff. I've never experienced this much meditative joy and happiness in all my meditation career. My mind is literally experiencing a dopamine rush as I'm writing this.

    It is kind of distracting as well. The joy becomes too overwhelming and I want to stop meditating and go talk to someone about it. This is insane.

    19 minutes ago, Maya_0 said:

    I believe this is only access concentration though.

    It sounds like a good level of  equanimity. But joy and jhanas are different. If you are unsure, it is probably not a jhana since this is not something you can miss. It is not subtle.

    19 minutes ago, Maya_0 said:

    May I ask you what length of sitting time it took you to get into it?

    Jhana experiences started after my latest 4 hour mindfulness session. I had a report of it here: 

     

  5. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    11 minutes ago, MuddyBoots said:

    @ardacigin Thanks for sharing, fascinating to read even though I'm not able to try it. How does it fit in with your regular everyday practice, is that hardcore too or or more easy-going?  Have you thought about writing a journal to share in an ongoing way? 

    I was also wondering about the acronyms, thanks for explaining that too! 

    So I have 2 options any given day. This is my current practice method.

    1- Hardcore Spirituality Training: This is that 3-4 hour Solitary confinement training. I'll rotate between those 3 postures and maintain jhanas and high mindfulness for 4 hours. If physical pliancy occurs due to jhanas, I can always do some long SDS (like 90 - 120 mins) in those 4 hours. But I no longer force myself too much if there is too much pain. Otherwise, I can't access joyful states of mind. I also would do some insight practice like self-enquiry at the end of these sessions. But my main focus is surviving these 4-5 hours with high level of mindfulness and joy.

    2- Daily Maintenance and Mindfulness in Daily Life: If I feel a lot of ego backlash, I meditate and get to the 1st jhana. This is most often a 30-60 mins sit. I do the access concentration, cultivate joy and maybe do some self-inquiry at the end. I put more emphasis on the daily cultivation of joy and mindfulness more than the formal sit.

    For instance, today I have used my 2nd strategy. I didn't have a lot of ego backlash but my friend was coming to my house and I only had an hour of free time so I did the daily maintenance. I got to the first jhana. Cultivated stable attention and peripheral awareness. 

    That is what I do currently and It is a really powerful training method.

     

  6. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    Hey folks. I'm really excited about what happened to me these last few days.

     Recently due to my 4 hour long mindfulness sessions, I've started to experience jhanas. These are absorption flow states in meditation. There are 8 specific altered states called jhanas in the Buddhist literature. Don't be scared. The first one is absolutely doable by commited practitioners.

    But remember: Jhanas only start to occur AFTER access concentration. 

    Access Concentration: High stability of attention to the meditation object which results in with very little distractions and dullness. A sense of effortlessness arises.

    Stage 7+ TMI practitioner can easily do access concentration almost every time they sit on the cushion with relative ease.

    That is what I've been doing. But that is not really producing a strong anti-depressant-dopamine effect. I was never a jhana person. I'm totally fine doing painful SDS sits and transcending pain and reducing suffering.

     But at the same time, I was experiencing WAAY too much aversion to meditate for 4+ hours a day. Constant pain and boredom create an obstacle on the path. I don't care how much of a spiritual strength you have. All the marathon monks who are doing crazy long SDS sits have not only mastered these jhanas but they have transcended them with multiple awakenings. So don't underestimate the power of jhanic states. Masters are doing these all the time. This is how joy is cultivated. 

    I've realized that what Culadasa regards as 'Piti' - joy and pleasantness is not a strong part of my practice. Leigh also has an ENTIRE book about this topic called: 'The Right Concentration: A guide to Jhanas' - This is amazing supplement book to TMI by the way.

    So the problem is: I'm concentrated but I can't infuse my body with rapture and joy similar to when a depressed person takes a strong dose of SSRI. What do I do? That is where jhanas come in.

    After dropping into the first Jhana 3 days in a row using some very basic instructions, I had to talk about it there briefly for people who want to do it as well. This is NOT something a beginner can do. But you don't have to spend 40 years in a cave to do it as well. So relax. Again, if you are stage 5-6-7 in TMI, then you are absolutely ready to master the first jhana. 

    Here is my claim: I can conclude that if you can drop into the first jhana deeply and maintain that depth in daily life, there will be virtually no difference if you've taken a good dose of Xanax and an anti-depressant like Paxera.  Not only you are calm due to samatha practice but your whole body and mind is infused with joy and happiness to a radical degree due to the 1st jhana.

    And let me remind you that there are 7 more jhanas ;) But the first one is enough to create a dopamine effect so strong that it rivals anti-depressants like Paxera.

    Here are the step by step instructions:

    1- Get to access concentration with the breath. You don't have to get to effortlessness or no-mind too deeply. Just get to a place where mind wandering no longer occurs. Breath is primary and your attention no longer alternates. Expand the awareness to the body as always once this occurs. That is necessary for the 1st jhana.

    2- Now this is VERY important. Completely let go of the breath. Let the breath sensations stay in awareness in the background. Move your attention to a pleasant sensation in your body. Awareness will cover the breath, the external sights and sounds.

    If there are no perceptible pleasant sensation, there 2 great antidotes:

    - Smile. Don't underestimate this. A fake smile will turn into a real one by the time you are in access concentration. This is BY FAR the most effective method for me to generate pleasant sensations. Don't judge it before trying it.

    - Stop putting the body in uncomfortable postures. Lay down if you have to. Use pillows. This is the number 1 rule if you want to practice jhanas: You CANNOT train the nervous system for jhanas if you are experiencing a lot of physical discomfort and pain. Period. So take a break from your painful SDS sits and look for the joy and happiness in the body. Do shorter sessions if you have to. 

    Pleasant sensation will usually arise in 4 places: (Although it can arise literally anywhere)

    - Around and at the top of the head (This is where it occurs in me the most strongly)

    - Heart and chest area

    - Hand area.

    - Whole body as a whole.

    Someone who is skilled in 1st jhana can experience pleasure and happiness in all 4 locations at the same time. So keep that in mind. It doesn't have to be just one location.

    3- Maintain stable attention on the pleasent sensations and wait for it to evolve to rapture, bliss and meditative joy.

    This is the most deceptive stage.

    If you desire for it to occur, it won't happen.

    If you have a craving for a psychedelic experience, it won't happen.

    If you still concentrate on the breath, it won't happen.

    Just maintain attention the pleasent sensations without expectations and craving and then all of a sudden, you'll drop into the first jhana. 

    This is not rare. This is not luck-based. If you could come to the 3rd step and did everything as instructed, you'll get to first jhana. You just have to have enough concentration to turn that subtle pleasant sensation into a full blown SSRI effect. And you have to maintain detachment and non-craving at the last phase.

    If nothing else works in the last stage, don't be frustrated.

    My best tip for step 3 is to take it easy and actually do a walking meditation. Or simply talk to someone. Read a book. Do all this with mindfulness. Why?

    The idea is to put your attention elsewhere to create relaxed diligence. You are likely tensing too much mentally for a jhana to occur. Even if your body is relaxed, there is still craving on a deep unconscious level. What works for me is to do daily activities and just as my tension dissipates, there it is, SSRI effect is coming very strongly. It just arises without me forcing anything. I'm talking to my brother and all of a sudden, joy and rapture infuse my body very strongly. 

    And I can maintain this with relative consistency for most of the day. 

    This is mind-blowing for me. I never could imagine jhanas could be SO intense and effective as SSRIs. If someone told me that this was possible to do all day and turn this into a baseline with meditation, I'd have practiced with more diligence and discipline. 

    I'm in a really happy place. I feel AMAZING. I'm even feeling a lot of joy and happiness RIGHT NOW as I'm writing this. This is incredible.

    I highly recommend following these instructions if you feel ready to experience jhanas.

     

  7. Posted

    18 hours ago, ewerson18 said:

    This is very good, I barely can meditation 1 hour, but I'm on my way. I also want to meditate like yogis, many hours a day, and who knows, many days.

     

    What position do you do? And what is TMI and SDS? Do you think we can access our higher self throgh this?

    TMI - The Mind Illuminated (This is a meditation book by Culadasa. I use his techniques)

    SDS - Strong Determination Sits: Not physically moving in meditation for long hours.

    I rotate these 3 postures when I'm not doing SDS for long sessions like 4 hours:

    Sitting, Lying down, walking.

    I do normal cross-legged posture with a pillow for back support. I keep the body straight.

  8. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    3 hours ago, Consilience said:

    Super interesting and inspiring to see how much effort you're putting in. Seriously, thank you for sharing. Still benefiting greatly from discovering TMI awhile back upon some of your OG posts. 

    It's interesting... In terms of pure insight, psychedelics seem to be unmatched. But in terms of actual sober embodiment and cultivating super advanced levels of equanimity, permanent mindfulness, and high levels of concentration/no-mind, meditation on this scale is unmatched. I hope my mind can settle into this level one day, capable of doing 4 uninterrupted hours of meditation without feeling completely stir-fry. For now, my daily 1 hour sessions continue to improve. I'd say I'm settling into stage 6 on the TMI scale and it feels really good. 

    Congrats on your progress on TMI. Definitely keep going.

    I've gained so much spiritual strength yesterday that I'm still feeling the effects today. 4 hours of uninterrupted practice was INSANE and it was way more effective than 1 hour sits. I can't even imagine how a 4 hour long SDS would do if 4 hours with movement was this effective. 

    I've experienced temporary insights earlier but I've never seriously experienced a psychedelic visual completely sober to this degree. That was 3 hours into it and looking back on it, I had to maintain mindfulness and do all this work for 3 hours to experience something like this. Psychedelic experience is definitely nothing a beginner can consistenly experience but it can be done if you do at least 3 hour+ sessions.

    I'm convinced that if you practice with diligence uninterruptedly and with a good technique, it can happen in a retreat-like circumstance.

    Doing these 4 hour sessions was fantastic. I doesn't burn you out like an SDS sit, because you have the comfort of changing movements and positions when 'hell' comes. But the length of a session is so long that you MUST maintain awareness to a high degree to combat boredom and impatience. Otherwise, you'll get sick of it and quit.

    I recommend this to people who struggle doing retreats or find it too expensive or doesn't have the time for it. The uninterrupted practice is an absolute recommendation for anyone who can manage such intensities. Everyone should try it at least a few times once they are skilled in the use of their techniques.

     

     

  10. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    Today I've done a 4 hours long uninterrupted mindfulness practice using TMI methods in preparation for long SDS sits and retreats.

    I've also recently watched a documentary about solitary confinement so I wanted to lock myself in a room for 4 hours and see how much suffering would arise sitting alone. This was only an introduction to more intense and deeper practice sessions. 

    The challenge was also meditating while lying down, cross-legged and walking around the room. I could maintain mindfulness relatively well if my body is absolutely still. SDS sits are still hard but my body got used to them.

    Things gets problematic when I start to move around. So I was rotating between these 3 postures every time I've experienced a challenge unique to that posture.

    For instance,

    Whenever I tensed up and experienced challenging emotions, I've layed down, relaxed and continued meditating. 

    Whenever laying down made me sleepy, I've started my brief walking meditation. (10-15 mins)  

    Whenever walking meditation disabled my introspective awareness, I've gone back to sitting posture.

    I can do 2 hours long SDS sits but I've never maintained 'high' degree of no-mind, stable attention and most importantly extrospective and introspective awareness uninterrupted for 4 hours. 

    I can tell that this is challenging but at the end of the 4 hours, I could have meditated for another hour. I've already passed the 'hellish' boredom and impatience phase in my nervous system. But this is mostly because this was not a strict SDS sit. I've allowed for movement between those 3 postures whenever I felt like giving up.

    The biggest challenge I've added was to meditate in a hot environment. Since I do breath practice with TMI, the air temperature matters. If the air is hot, it requires more skill to follow the breath sensations. Especially the out-breath. 

    Fortunately, I've realized that breath clarity is relative and expecting the breath to be super clear and vivid in hot environments is a mistake. It will be more subtle than usual but you should still keep in contact with it. 

    After the stabilization, I've immediately expanded my extrospective awareness to external sounds (traffic cars, street noise etc.)

    I've been practicing this for a while. So whenever I do that, I get into a state of no-mind if I can combine the breath stabilization with sound awareness at the same time.

    Since the breath is very subtle, I did find it challenging but after a while awareness just rested at sounds and my mind was free from thoughts for a long period of time. Just to clarify, this is a relative state of no-mind. I'm not experiencing profound states of 'cessation' and whatnot. There were still thoughts I am not aware of below the threshold of awareness.

    Throughout those 4 hours, I've experienced a VERY salient psychedelic experience for a few seconds which is common on LSD. I think this was 3 hours in.

    My bed has black dots with its design. These black dots have started to flash back and forth (as it occurs with colors on LSD). This was very noticeable and not subtle.

    In fact, if someone experienced those few seconds without the context, they would probably think I've taken LSD. The whole experience must have taken somewhere around 15 seconds. 

    After the flashy black dots, I've seen other more subtle patterns. These were not too intense or were not close to psychedelic visuals. I've maintained the technique and equanimity as these were occurring. 

    Sleepiness and dullness was a BIG challenge since I was not particularly alert starting this long session. I wanted to meditate while I was sluggish and not particularly concentrated. This made things 10 times harder.

    Thanks to walking meditation, I've managed to stay alert and aware. These 3 postures allowed me to cancel out each postures negative effects. That was an amazing experiment. 

    If I had more skill to maintain this degree of mindfulness for 20 more hours, I could have started to get some sense into how advanced yogis survive 10 years of solitary confinement.

    In my mind, everything has to do with acing spirituality for one day. I'm not talking about surviving a 18-24 hour uninterrupted mindfulness session. But to thrive doing so. To get through it with minimal suffering. Only then can you take on longer retreats and solitary confinement like circumstances with skill and confidence.

    If you can do 1 day, you can also do consecutive days. That will take some skill as well but the issue is that an average meditator can't even manage a full day of hardcore spirituality without getting hellishly bored or experiencing the meditation as torture. I'm currently working on this myself and plan to do a 6-hour uninterrupted session the next time. Maybe adding some SDS sits into it.

    The focus must be this:  That 1 day has to be really uninterrupted as to mindfulness application (moving, laying down, sitting etc.) and very high quality. You need to maintain deep states of no-mind basically for whole day. 

    This attempt also gave me hope that it is possible to thrive in solitary confinement. My experience was not 'thrive' per se because I've still experienced a lot of micro sufferings those 4 hours. I've only minimally suffered thanks to my practice.

    I've maintained a relatively deep state of no-mind for 4 hours, experienced one salient psychedelic state and survived the whole ordeal without giving up or feeling like this was torture. It was still hard but I've enjoyed it for the most part.

    I feel more confident now to do longer uninterrupted practices and understand the mind of these advanced yogis taking years-long retreats. I felt like this was a big step in that direction.

    Hope this report inspired some of you. Feel free to ask me your questions.

     

     

     

  11. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Hehe, when I tell people it will take 10,000 hours, I am criticized for making it sound too hard. When I don't, I am criticized for making it sound too easy.

    :) Well, I meant that since you don't do formal sessions nowadays, I recommend doing it for you. You do tell people to meditate hardcore. I wasn't criticizing that. In fact, I wasn't criticizing at all. Just giving some friendly advice. I kind of understand why you are not really interested in formal disciplined sessions. But they still have a lot of benefit in my opinion.

    This might also create cognitive dissonance where you tell people the importance of deliberate formal practice but don't really do it yourself daily. Just to remind everybody, 60-70 year old Zen Masters still have a daily formal practice even if they don't quite need the formal sits to experience deep states of meditation because of their skills.

    And this is not due to some mindless habit. It is because this path (both the insight recognition and embodiment) goes forever. There is always more to be conscious of and embody. 

     

  12. Posted

    5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    @ardacigin You make some good points in your opening post.

    The video is an introduction for normal folk. Think of it as an on-ramp to more hardcore practice which may come later.

    We're building on-ramps here. The hardcore stuff comes later.

    Great! I wanted to write this because this video wasn't entitled 'Part 1' so I didn't think there would be a follow up anytime soon. I'm looking forward to it.

  13. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    2 hours ago, Meditationdude said:

    @ardacigin he (and you)  never mentioned that all of this done through insight meditation. Years of it. This isn’t something you “realize” without a serious practice (Or psychedelics). 
    You must experience the arising and passing away many many times before it has any real impact on off the cushion life. All of these insights must be cultivated and worked through. 
     

    I love how he makes its seem so easy and doesn’t mention anything about meditation. ??‍♂️

    This is most likely experienced through meditation and psychedelics but Leo already suggests doing all of these practices. I also suggest meditation and psychedelics. I have many forum posts here explaining techniques to do it.

    But it is true that Leo might give the impression that this is easy to experience for most people. He actually recommends psychedelics so that the insight process is faster and easier. 

    Now, to experience these in meditation consistently is another matter. It requires disciplined formal practice which Leo no longer seems to subscribe to. 

    I understand Leo but I still recommend him to practice formal sessions and embody the present moment more systematically. 

  14. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    I've watched Leo's episode on 'Impermanence' today. Leo described it quite well but some of the more advanced perspectives on impermanence can be lost.

    Impermanence is NOT 'just' arising and passing away. That is the western bastardization of what impermanence is. This is a partial truth. That is coming closer to impermanence.

    Impermanence as a highly developed spiritual insight is the realization that 'there is only process'. There is no arising and passing away. That is a mind made construction. All fluctuations of consciousness are a mental construction.  Impermanence as a developed insight is highly interlinked with emptiness.

    So the perception that there are sensations which you observe to arise and pass away is a semi-matured insight. The self there is not experienced as impermanent. There are still sensations and a sense of perception.

     You want to come to a point where, for instance, the emotion of sadness can be experienced not just as 'arising and passing away' but also as a 'process of mental construction' where there is no fluctuation of sadness. You experience this with a 'cessation event' where the mind no longer projects mentally constructed objects (emotions, thoughts, external information of senses) into sensory experience.  That 'impermanent process' is seen as a mental construction.

    Feeling sad and depressed because you experience arising and passing away of formations is not quite where you want to end up. That 'melancholy' and 'aware' as Leo talked about is just another mental reaction due to craving and clinging. 

    You actually want to experience the mental reaction of sadness and depression as a constructed process as well. And then you want to understand the following thing:

    The arising occurs the instant of passing. The passing occurs the instance of arising. This is not occurring in time and space. You can not experience impermanence on this level and depth if you are still observing sensations to,

    1- arise

    2 - have a period of existence

    3 - pass away.

    This is the training instructions but not the impermanence itself as a developed insight. You want to get to that timeless state of consciousness where arising and passing away is seen as a mental formation, process and devoid of having any self-existing nature in space and time.

    That is true impermanence as a spiritual insight and your ability to get in contact with this in daily life shows your level of embodiment. 

  15. Posted

    This time I wanted to do something different. Many people enjoy listening to music. I've observed that some people on this forum are also musicians themselves so I wanted to share my own piano performance and teach you guys how to listen and meditate deeply at the same time. 

    If you are a TMI meditator, I'll also make a slight alteration and teach you how to combine it with TMI as well.

    Here is my piano performance:

    Aside from piano, business, psychology and meditation, I play video games in my spare time. I've purposefully played a relatively easy and slow 'new age' piece from a great JRPG called Ni No Kuni. The reason is that these sort of pieces have well defined and clear phrase structures which means we can use it as a training material for our music meditation.

    Here is the technique:

    1- Close your eyes. 

    2- Put your attention on the ending of every clear phrase structure. (Find that longer pause that arises every 4-5 notes or so)

    3- Once you are comfortable with that, now clarify the attentional skill further by clearly experiencing EVERY note (regardless of how fast or slow it arises) before the next one comes up. This is not that easy. The mind won't initially enjoy this way of experiencing music. It tends to listen with phrase structures, not with individual notes.

    4- Now maintain this level of attentional depth and open your eyes. See if you can combine the sight and sound in a relaxed manner. Your concentration object is the sound of individual notes. By adding the visual component, I want you to relax a little bit and find some balance with visual awareness. Don't lose the clarity of attention but also take in more sensory information with visuals. Relax the whole body.

    5- Finally add the body component with awareness. Attention is on the sounds. Awareness is on both the visuals and the body. Try to feel the whole body as the clearly as you can while listening with the same attentional stability. In this state of consciousness, there is no longer any conscious bandwidth for thoughts. If there is monkey mind, go back to step 2 and try again. Give yourself more time and practice.

    6- Takes this music on loop, have an alarm clock and continue to meditate with step 5 for an hour (or however long you want to meditate)

    The technique alteration for TMI practitioners:

    It is the same with the regular instructions above but you stabilize attention not to the sounds, but to the breath. Do your usual breath meditation but this time bring your highly developed extrospective awareness to the sounds while maintaining clear attention to the breath.

    After this, bring the awareness to the whole body and visuals as instructed. All the other steps are the same.

    That's it.

    Try it and let me know if it makes your more conscious. The more you do it, the more effective this will become.

     

     

     

  16. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    Hey Leo! I'm really curious how your practice is going. Especially,

    - What specific practices and techniques do you do daily? Both in formal and informal sessions? 

    - For how long do you practice on average per day?

    - What are some of your roadblocks in your spiritual development? What are the challenges you are trying to overcome these days?

    - What are some of the positive effects this practice is creating in your life and spiritual development?

     

  17. Posted

    16 hours ago, Poluch said:

    I was wondering what effect Deep chronic depressions have on one`s ability to stay mindfull. I am asking this because I suffer from the latter and have been meditating for almost two years on a regular Basis and I don`t see any improvements in my ability to stay mindfull. It feels almost like I got worse as compared to the time I started out. Nowadays, I starting to wonder whether I am doing sth wrong or if it just more difficult with being depressed and trying to Focus.

    I have been using different Meditation techniques, like do Nothing, Body scan, but most of the time shamata (which is the Focus on the breath) and I don`t see any improvements and it Always makes feel frustrated and seems like the Quality of my Meditation depends only my actual mood. Is there anyone, who deals or dealed also with the same issues and could offer some help?

    I don't have chronic depression but I have mood swings like everyone else. What helps is the structured and diligent practice TMI lays out for you. Once you trust in the process and do the instructions with humility, the practice starts to work.

    2 years is an important time frame to stop and look how far the practices had an effect on you. Normally, you should have some level of proficiency in formal sessions. (Like doing 90 mins sits even if it is hard. Sometimes accessing deep concentration. Not getting sleepy every session) And some skill in high quality mindfulness in daily life (like walking and moving meditation). 

    Unless you feel these effects, stop the technique and try a more structured method like TMI. Depression is a roadblock but what you are experiencing is not due to depression but due to bad instructions and lack of systematic training. 

    Depression can reduce your overall energy and create more subtle dullness but you'll get them through with a practice like TMI. You need to learn to maintain mindfulness even in dullness or extreme mood swings. This will happen post-stage 7 in TMI's system of training. 

     

  19. Posted

    16 hours ago, SQAAD said:

    I don't get it. You make a dinstinction  between awareness & focus.

    How can i be aware only of the tip of the nose & at the same time be aware of the rest of the sensory experience? It doesn't compute to me.

    Attention and awareness are distinct ways of knowing in the mind. This is the same terminology Shinzen uses in different words: concentration (attention) and sensory clarity (awareness). 

    Both Culadasa and Shinzen makes the same distinction but Culadasa emphasizes the importance of utilizing these 2 ways of knowing AT THE SAME TIME for deep mindfulness development. His techniques revolve around the delicate balance of these skills. Shinzen's noting techniques on the other hand eventually expect you to understand this exact same thing experientially without explicitly telling you what to do or how to do it.

    That is why I find Culadasa's explanation clearer. Again, read TMI for deeper understanding. Realize that VERY FEW books and teachers succeed to make this distinction to this degree that Culadasa does in his teachings. This one practice transformed my own practice and enabled to shave off years of frustration on the contemplative path.

  20. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    The following article is directly taken from Culadasa's Dharma website. Since it is already precise and well-written, it is faster for me to just copy-paste it. All credits go to him. Enjoy!

    My Brief Commentary:

    Keep in mind that subtle dullness is a very important phenomenon you MUST understand prior to mastering samadhi. It is one of the harder roadblocks to transcend to embody greater mindfulness that leads to insights like no-self and awakening.

    Your understanding of how subtle dullness arises and how to experientially deal with it in meditation is essential for progression into higher stages of mindfulness. Until mastering this with stable attention and strong peripheral, consider yourself a beginner on this path. 

    ----------------------

    On Mindful Awareness vs Dullness

    We all know what it is like to be asleep. And most of us have had the experience at one time or another of greatly heightened awareness and alertness, such that time seems to slow down, and there is an extreme vividness and intensity to all of our sensory perceptions.

    This latter experience may have been accompanied by a sense of being purely a detached observer, just watching one’s own body and mind react and respond to the situation at hand.

    These two states define and clearly illustrate for us the range of alertness and awareness that we are each inherently capable of. The level of awareness during ordinary waking consciousness lies somewhere near the middle between these two extremes, tending in the direction of one extreme as a result of fatigue or illness or intoxication, and towards the other in times of great excitement or danger.

    To use the analogy of the tachometer in a car, the engine speed of the mind is normally in its middle range where the energy is in balance with performance demands made upon it.

    Vividness, intensity, and clarity of awareness are the manifestation of sati, of full-minded, fully conscious awareness, and the level of sati depends upon the ‘energy level’ of the mind. As the energy level of the mind diminishes, sati decreases and full-minded awareness changes to dullness.

    Early on in meditation practice, samatha practice especially but this happens in almost every type of meditation practice, we encounter a decrease in intensity of awareness to a level below that which characterizes the ordinary waking state.

    Manifesting as sleepiness, grogginess, dreaminess, this is what I call strong dullness to differentiate it from the much milder form of diminished mental energy that I call subtle dullness.

    I consider it to be very important to distinguish between strong and subtle dullness, because I find that otherwise many meditators will not recognize the presence of subtle dullness.

    So how does a meditator evaluate the level of sati that is present? She learns to recognize the different degrees of sati and dullness primarily through noticing when it has changed.

    When a meditator perceives the sensations of the breath with approximately the same vividness and intensity that normally characterizes tactile sensations in her daily life, she has not yet developed greater sati, but neither has she slipped into dullness. When she experiences an increased acuity of perception, as when she can see the end points of the in- and out-breaths and the pauses between with great clarity, sati has increased. The distorted perception of the sensations of the breath that accompany drowsiness are obvious dullness.

    Subtle dullness, though, is more difficult to recognize. A meditator in a stable state of subtle dullness will be enjoying stability of attention and good concentration.

    They will most likely even experience their perception of the meditation object as very clear, and thus mistake subtle dullness for increased sati. But if there is a sudden sound, as when another meditator coughs or sneezes, or some other such disturbance, two things will happen.

    They will feel startled and will often jerk upright, and if they are observant, they will also notice that their awareness of the meditation object is immediately sharper and clearer than it was a few moments before.

    It is important to notice this difference, because by noticing it one learns to distinguish between the pseudo clarity of subtle dullness and true sati. As a meditator increases in sati, it becomes more and more difficult to startle her.

    So why does a state of subtle dullness seem so clear, how can it be mistaken for sati?

    First lets look at the ‘ordinary’ level of awareness. The attention is usually moving rapidly from object to object and we are usually attending to multiple objects at once. When it is off the meditation object for long enough, then we know that the attention has shifted.

    When it is away more briefly and less frequently, it seems more as though we are just aware of several things at the same time. But these brief wanderings that allow us to be aware of several things at the same time are a scattering of attention that still diminishes the vividness and intensity of the primary object of attention.

    Now lets look at subtle dullness.

    As the energy level of the mind falls, the attention does not move as much, and that, of course, gives us the experience of greater stability of attention to the meditation object. It also gives us a sense of greater clarity due to less scattering of attention.

    But as the energy level of the mind falls, there are also many more non-perceiving moments of consciousness, more gaps in flow of the stream of consciousness than before. Thus, when the meditator is startled and the energy level of the mind jumps up a notch, there is immediately an increased acuity of awareness! This is the tip-off to the presence of subtle dullness.

    The wise meditator can take good advantage of these ‘startling’ disturbances in learning to distinguish sati from subtle dullness. For this reason, I recommend that meditators do not go to great lengths to create an ultra-quiet environment for meditation, do leave the telephone plugged in while you meditate, do meditate in groups that can provide the occasional cough, sneeze or snore.

    It can also be very helpful to meditate while going to sleep at night, and to observe the transition from wakeful alertness, through subtle dullness, strong dullness and then sleep, a transition that can occur either quickly or slowly.

    Learning about mindful awareness vs dullness is only one of many benefits to be derived from meditating while going to sleep (and immediately upon waking, and there are some special features to these two meditations that are a topic for another time). But anyone can benefit from simply observing the mind while observing the breath while going to sleep.

    Sati is increased simply by intending to be more acutely aware, and by providing the mind with perceptual challenges that require an increased level of awareness to accomplish. (Noting practice in Vipassana is an example of just such a challenge, as is following the breath with increasing attention to detail in samatha practice.)

    But increasing the energy level of the mind also has the effect of increasing the rate of movement of attention from object to object, so in that sense increasing sati will also decrease the stability of attention unless the meditator has achieved a skill level of directed and sustained attention sufficient to remain focused at an increased level of mental energy.

    For this reason, it is best for a meditator not to worry about subtle dullness at all until they have overcome mind-wandering, gross distraction, and strong dullness. Permitting some subtle dullness is helpful in overcoming mind-wandering and gross distraction in the earlier stages. There is, in fact, a delicate balancing act between increasing sati and increasing attentional stability.

    They must increase in tandem with each other, otherwise one goes either too far in the direction of either agitation or dullness.

    But once the meditator has overcome both mind-wandering and gross distraction, it is of paramount importance that she work to overcome subtle dullness. Subtle dullness will almost certainly be present at this stage because it will have been part of the means by which this stage of attentional stability has been achieved.

    Dullness is relative, of course, and the meditator has already cultivated some increased sati in previous stages of practice, but what we are concerned with here is any state in which the level of awareness and the energy level of the mind is definitely less than what she is capable of while sustaining this degree of concentration, and most especially we are concerned with any tendency for it to further decrease.

    She must learn to achieve and then to sustain this degree of attentional stability with no decrease in mindful awareness. Then she must learn to further increase mindful awareness. The latter is actually much easier than the former. Once the mind can stabilize without increasing subtle dullness, sati can be readily increased.

    Before I leave this topic I also want to point out that sati ordinarily has two different aspects or ‘faces’, depending upon how it is directed. We have mostly been addressing full-minded awareness as directed towards the meditation object here, but introspective awareness, or sati-sampajanna, is that same full-minded awareness directed at knowing exactly what you are doing and why you are doing it in the present moment.

    This aspect of sati is only present with higher levels of alertness, and that is why there is the sense of ‘awakening’ in that moment when one realizes that their mind has wandered, and also that feeling of alertness that comes with ‘checking in’ during meditation to see what kinds of distraction or dullness might be present.

    At the beginning of this article I called attention to naturally occuring instances of powerful sati, of greatly heightened alertness and awareness that most of us have experienced at one time or another, typically in times of emergency.

    You might recall my mention of the fact that this is often accompanied by a sense of being purely a detached observer, of watching one’s own body and mind react and respond to the situation as it unfolds. This is very illustrative of sati-sampajanna when the level of mental energy is very high.

    In the earliest stages of samatha practice, the awakening to the fact that the mind has wandered is a distinct conscious event from the engaging with the object by the wandering attention.

    When one knows the mind has wandered, the thought it had wandered to is already gone. Likewise, the moments of ‘checking in’ with introspective awareness in the middle stages of samatha practice are distinct conscious events from the ongoing observation of the meditation object, and as such are actually interruptions of the attention to the meditation object (although if they are brief enough the interruption may not be especially noticieable).

    On the other hand, with upacara samadhi the sati-sampajanna can be simultaneous with the sati directed at the meditation object. How is this possible? In the early stages of practice, the energy level of the mind is not high enough that the mind has enough ‘bandwidth’ to encompass both at once.

    But in the later stages, as sati becomes more and more highly developed in tandem with attentional stability, conscious awareness can be focused on the mind while the mind attends to the meditation object, not as two separate objects, but as one object (the mind) that includes the other (the sensations of the breath).

    This is experienced as a change in perspective, as a ‘stepping back’, as an expanded scope of single pinted awareness. It is the opposite of what one does in order to enter jhana, which is also a change in perspective but is a ‘sinking in’ instead.

    At times in the past I have wondered whether deep jhana could be achieved with dullness, but was never inclined to find out for myself. Jhanic absorption does not require a high level of mental energy and sati, although it is completely compatible with it. I have since heard of several instances that seems to be deep jhanas with dullness.

    So without the deliberate cultivation of sati, a samatha practitioner can end up sitting in pleasant states of sustained dullness, or even progress to bliss-filled absorptions. But they will be lacking in one of the essential faculties required for Insight and Enlightenment, they will be lacking an indispensible Factor of Enlightenment – Sati, full-minded, fully conscious awareness.

     

  21. Posted

     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    9
    On 8/29/2019 at 6:15 AM, SQAAD said:

    Question #1: What should i do between the pauses of the breath?? I'm very CONFUSED about this. Some ppl say focus on the space but i don't know what that is supposed to mean.  Should i  focus on nothing? 

    Or maybe i shouldn't even focus at all and JUST SURRENDER? After all i am already focusing on the breathing. So why should i keep focusing on the space? There is nothing even to focus on...

    Question #2:  When i am focusing on the breathing is it better to FOCUS on the entire breathing (air entering nostrils, lungs & stomach) or is it better to just FOCUS on the air entering the nostrils and nothing else? Is it better to focus your awareness on as lil space as possible or not?

    Just read 'The Mınd Illuminated' by John Yates. It will answer all your questions about breath practice.

    Also short answer is: You need to first develop more stable attention by focusing on the tip of the nose ONLY. Don't move around too much without developing awareness.

    Then you should use awareness to simultaneously attend to external sounds, sights and mental formations AS you are focusing on the breath at the tip of the nose. You shouldn't let the attention move back and forth. Attention is on the breath. Awareness is on the rest of the sensory experience. AT THE SAME TIME.

    For more information, read TMI.

    Hope this help.

  22. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    12 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

    Are there even any enlightend people who did not this ? 

    I'm pretty sure that are people like that. Because there are upstanding moral individuals who are not awake spiritually at all.  Awakening makes this process easier but doesn't guarantee anything. For instance, I'm not aware that Eckhart Tolle, Sahdguru or Shinzen have done such immoral behaviors. So it is possible. These are just different lines of development.

  23. Posted · Edited by ardacigin

    6 hours ago, passerby said:

    Culadasa was recently (like over the last week) stood down due to it coming out hes been having sexual relations with many people who are not his wife.

    Yes. This is something I'm aware of as well. I've listened to Culadasa's life story, bipolar disorder and traumatic childhood experiences in his deconstruct yourself podcast.  

    The claim: Culadasa spent money on hookers even though he is a family man. He lied to his family and engaged in adultery. 

    A little bit of context is important. This guy had left his family and house when we was 15 years old. He was homeless for years. Try to imagine. His mother had severe psychological problems. Culadasa never went to public school in those 15 years. Very little social contact with his peers. Sometime down the line, he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. 

    Now for someone who had such traumatic experiences and depression, Culadasa experienced very deep states of meditation. His level of awakening is high. But as Ken Wilber talks about, he still needs work in 'cleaning up'. Culadasa is currently open to enter therapy to work with his shadow aspects.

    I'm not defending Culadasa but I can certainly understand these sort of ego backlashes due to his past. I'd expect someone who lived Culadasa's life to end up a criminal or a crazy person, but he did 180 and became a spiritual teacher.

    Culadasa's circumstances are similar to Joshua Sasaki Roshi. 'Waking up' line of development is very high, but there are still works to be done in morality and 'cleaning up'. And that doesn't mean TMI is bad. It just means that you need to supplement TMI with psychotherapy.

     

  25. Posted

    2 hours ago, Dovahkiin said:

    @ardacigin I like that metaphor of particle -- single-pointed practice -- jhana, and wave -- awareness -- insight. It does seem "dry insight" is a bit of a misnomer, because in the Mahasi style you're developing concentration through your primary object. I'm curious if what I've heard about concentration attainments being irrelevant to the first few paths but then necessary for the third has anything to it.

    Mahasi noting has a concentration aspect to it so it is essentially an advanced samatha vipassana technique designed to facilitate insight. But you can also attempt to do this without any stable attention or awareness skills, then it becomes a dry insight approach like self inquiry. 

    You can skip the concentration and stable attention development for the first stage of awakening (stream entry) but to advance further mastering the path of stable attention and strong mindfulness is essential.