legendary

Do you genuinely enjoy being around others and interacting with them? If yes, then stop putting all this pressure on yourself and just enjoy your interactions. If no, realize that being Mr/Ms popular isn't going to fundamentally change anything; you'll need to change yourself for that. But the first step would be to get rid of the neediness and start taking baby steps towards improving your interpersonal skills. And merely reading about this stuff doesn't count. Take it from a long-time theory junkie- it doesn't work until you apply what you read/see. I'm an introvert, so I don't generally go out just for the sake of meeting people, but instead, for some activities, like a book club, billard with friends, volunteering, etc. That way we have something to do even if we run out of things to converse about. Find out what works for you and do it. Cheers!

Psychedelics. They work 1:1 for a very small fee.

The thing that frustrates me is when teachers say, "There is is no process to become enlightened since it isn't a destination, but the Truth of who you already are. Grasp it, Now!" And then many of them turn around and criticize anyone who advocates the use of psychedelics to explore altered states of consciousness. Well, what am I supposed to do then? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Your high yield technique is to record yourself speaking in English, review it and correct your mistakes. 2 months are more than enough for IELTS.

Just one of many options: https://www.booking.com/hotel/ph/sunnyside-bed-amp-bar-san-juan.en-gb.html?aid=356980;label=gog235jc-1DCAIogQFCAmxhSAlYA2g7iAEBmAEJuAEXyAEM2AED6AEB-AECiAIBqAIDuALQwN3tBcACAQ;sid=c0e3fd285125cf737b5f2a9a86d0b5fd;all_sr_blocks=359811710_120822479_0_34_0;checkin=2019-11-15;checkout=2019-11-26;dest_id=168;dest_type=country;dist=0;group_adults=1;group_children=0;hapos=2;highlighted_blocks=359811710_120822479_0_34_0;hpos=2;no_rooms=1;req_adults=1;req_children=0;room1=A;sb_price_type=total;sr_order=price;srepoch=1572298884;srpvid=bc679882d5a8000e;type=total;ucfs=1&#RD359811710 You can afford a lot of other options with $10/day in South East Asia. Cheers!

Have you tried nootropics?

Leo, How has becoming conscious of Infinite Love changed your everyday spiritual practices? Has It changed them at all? One enlightened master I conversed with (who also spoke about Infinite Love) said that he weeps with tears of joy for hours and often yearns for God. Secondly, an egotistical question: How does Love change one's interpersonal relationships and the way in which they interact with others? Even if a conscious person tries to do something for the Absolute Good, others might view it as an act of arrogance/hatred and as a result, from their perspective, nothing in the relationship will have changed. Cheers!

@Leo Gura thanks for sharing your insights with us. Your point about God imagining all of Reality and imagining the past and the future is basically the Law of Attraction taken to its ultimate conclusion. Is that accurate? Since God has infinite power, it only needs to think and things gets done.

It does feel like hell. Thanks, @kieranperez for those insights. @abrakamowse very insightful. Thanks for sharing. lol

@Leo Gura please, could you elaborate a bit more on this? Last year, during my Bufo trip, after the peak subsided, the ego came back and I panicked and almost started to convulse. After watching a video recording of the trip, I was surprised at how exorcism-like it looked from a third-person perspective. I haven't experienced this on any other psychedelic or through any other spiritual practice. Is that what you actually mean?

I personally never resonated with Mooji. I have friends who do. It's okay to have preferences. It doesn't mean that you're outright rejecting the spiritual master and their teaching. Being more loving and open does not mean that you have no preferences as an individuated self.

Yes please

It's the bubble's survival strategy.

Could you please elaborate? Another Kundalini master told me that it was a result of energy blockage.

I have felt this pressure in my skull on 5-MeO and LSD before.

A very tricky subject indeed.

Among the great things which are to be found among us, the Being of Nothingness is the greatest. - Leonardo da Vinci

At a Bufo retreat last year, I met a girl who had never done psychedelics. She said that she used to do coke at parties, and that's as far as her drug experience went. After her bufo trip, she said that she felt as if every cell of her body had gotten dissolved in love, and it blew all her silly notions about love and happiness out of the water. Cocaine is an ego enhancing drug, 5-MeO is the exact opposite.

During deep sleep, the ego is fully surrendered. Ego death is a misnomer. However, there's still ignorance, since an ordinary human being doesn't have consciousness of being the witness. My two cents.

@Leo Gura what do you think about Bodhisattvas, monks/saints who (claim to) have made a vow to not attain full Enlightenment until they help every human being that they can? I'm (open-mindedly) skeptical about such claims, because I'm not sure whether a modern day Bodhisattva would want to be reborn as a monk; wouldn't they rather be someone like Sadhguru or Peter Ralston, so that they could serve others without limiting themselves to a religion or a medium of teaching.

Viel Glück

Being Mindfulness Letting go True not knowing/Emptying the cup Contemplating: Who am I?

Letting go. Being. Mindfulness. True not knowing. Asking who am I?

@Adam M Thanks for the brilliant insights. All the best for your trip!

The trip was quite profound and challenging for me. Pre-Trip: I meditated for 30 minutes and then contemplated about the differences between the Masculine and Feminine characteristics and traits. Trip: After taking LSD, I continued to contemplate and think. However, as soon as the effects started to take over, I was taken over by a sudden urge to strip naked and masturbate. Martin Ball has written about this, and he advocates that that one should let these things play out. So I proceeded to do that. However, in the midst of doing so, I became acutely aware of how my entire life, I've been running away (through tasks, hobbies, addictions, distractions) from being present and facing the emptiness of existence. No wonder, I keep looking for happiness elsewhere. I lost all desire to masturbate and every moment became painful, to such an extent that I didn't want to live any longer. The ego's defences were down, and I quickly went inside my bathroom, switched all the lights off and sat in complete darkness and silence, and started contemplating: Who am I? Why have I been trying to escape the present moment my whole life? I was afraid, and the silence and darkness added to it. It was clear that the fear was a product of my projections and that I was still not letting go. And once I did, it became blindingly obvious that it is all Absolutely Nothing! I have been looking for this realisation, and at the same time have been running away from it, which has caused me a lot of pain. With this insight still fresh and crystal clear, I came out to my bedroom and started meditating while resting on my bed. Because the ego was weak and fully surrendered, I had died, without even realising it. I started to laugh and cry (I'm still not sure how that happened, but it was literally laughter mixed with sobbing). This Nothingness was Absolute, groundless, ungraspable and completely imperturbable. All the things I have read and heard about sexuality came back into my mind. How the epitome of masculinity is Shiva- consciousness itself. From there, a number of things that I have read and seen about sexuality came back to me. Insights: Everything that we see and perceive is couched within Nothingness/Consciousness. And we all have Masculine and Feminine in us. Thus, every moment of existence is a play of the Divine Masculine (Shiva) and the Divine Feminine (Shakti). Life is a product of this Divine Love making. The black and white Duality of Man and Woman is merely simplistic thinking. David Deida once said that Life and existence itself is a Woman (with a capital W). And just like a feminine partner, life will shit test you. So long as one is identified with Absolute Nothingness, no challenge (including death itself) can scare you away. She (Life) will make love to you until the end of time, but She will also chop your head off as soon as you lose consciousness. Every time I become sad/hurt/angry, that's equivalent to failing one of life's tests. Being inauthentic hurts more than anything else. Authenticity = Death = Immortality = Imperturbability. When you are aware of the fact that death is an illusion, and so is any concept of separation, you will naturally let things unfold without becoming unconscious and neurotic. From this authenticity, one can live their true Life Purpose: In their career as well as their social life. This life purpose isn't just limited to 40-50 hours of work every week. The way we spend our money, the way we treat others, the energy we put out into the world, are all our creation. A truly authentic life means you can live every single day, knowing that you are Nothingness, and that no failure/loss can cause you to abandon your purpose. Radical openness = Selflessness. Only by being completely selfless, can one truly contribute to Absolute Goodness. And of course, this id paradoxical, since it is clear that nothing is in your control. Yet, there can be complete surrender and consciousness at the same time (like an erection, firm but relaxed). With an experiential understanding of Nonduality, one knows that claiming ownership of your achievements/possessions is futile, which then allows you to live life as a spontaneous unfolding of love and play. This is how one makes love to life. As David Deida wrote, 'Stop hoping for a completion of anything in life'. Which is a great pointer. Peter Ralston also wrote about this in 'The Book of Not Knowing'. I have a long way to go in this journey. A big chapter in my life is coming to an end soon, and it became clear to me what the next chapter ought to be. The key is to balance being s strategic motherfucker and surrendering to the Divine Will. Psychedelics are the best Teachers. No human teacher could have allowed me to have a direct consciousness of all this in one day.