Steph1988

And yes the last one from a video game! I think that is one of the most beautiful things i've ever heard

Love this he is totally free from any shame that is some dancing!

Go work at a place where u work with lots of different people that is where i got my newer friendships i made 2 new close friends in the last lets say 5 years out of working with lets say 200-300 people. I work in the food industry and work with many young people so that improves the odds. Be open to different personality's learn to appreciate them. And You build bonds by working with people on something. People have a tendency to tell you to go out but in my experience that is the worst place to make true friends unless you go there with guys with a common goal and it involves some kind of shared hardship ( i guess only pickup because there is totally no other good reason to go to these disgusting places ) I don't believe in socializing for its own sake with strangers, there is either something important to do together or there is little reason to talk and after u bond through this important thing u can socialize for its own sake and let go, that feels to be the most natural way but that's my 2 cents. Do you have work or a study where u can do this? On the other hand i sympathize with you, this modern society breeds loneliness its not easy and you are not the only one i assure you and i totally get it.

I never even made one attempt at dancing in my whole life not even when by myself even then it feels awkward, even the thought of me dancing makes me cringe like hell. There is not a single dancing fiber in my body despite i love music very much. When i was pushed on a dance floor when i was younger it felt like the world coming crashing down on me i rather fight a professional boxing match, or swim with a white shark, or fight in a war then i go dance for even a second. I rejected girls who wanted to dance because i don't dare to give it my all on the dance floor and it will feel awkward. It is strange because i have no problem with intimacy or touching or sports with lots of movement its just dancing. Oh well you can't have it all so off to the bar it is then.

@Shin Yes that is the thing u goto aim for i think that u know the awkwardness is there but you carry on regardless and don't care then it will solve itself mostly.

@Shin That is a lot to take on and im not sure awkwardness around girls and people in general is solved by most of those habits. Its all good of-course no doubt there. Did you get some results in solving awkwardness up to this point?

@Shin you do the whole list? impressive. i managed only a few of these thing with a big effort up to this point. and the nofap/coldshower habits are insanely hard to do on a consistent basis did you manage that? how big a difference do you feel from those 2 alone? because i seem to fail these habits after several try's maybe i need more motivation. @Principium Nexus something that took away my anxiety for a big part was simply to work with a lot of people and to be around people more and also to not give a damn that you are anxious. Be honest as much as possible, don't play games with people, tell them what's up straight in their face, learn to absolutely despise any mask and fakeness, even if you say something stupid its ok you've learned from it. and if u believe in something stand your ground no matter how many people disagree ( don't become close minded either of course ) so stand up for what you believe. On some level i think its good to become mad as hell you have to really hate the games people play for a while, you have to feel sorry for neurotic status seekers and when u manage that you have to feel superior to those people, you got to brainwash yourself a little bit perhaps. you wouldn't believe how much anger and frustration can aid you. Now this sounds far from enlightened i guess but it did help me a lot.

@Socrates I am a cook and i processed insane amounts of animal products in my ten years of work so in your eyes i must be accessary in mass murder should i feel guilty?

@SocratesAnd this fanatical attitude makes it even worse i didn't call you names, i didn't judge veganism. I'm just making an observation and i wonder how would u deal with it just curious.

Yes there is a counter argument and it is a really good one. It all tastes way to good to give up. And you could point out a thousand pages of research to prove your point and objectively u may even be completely right i don't know i never looked into it so i don't want to judge it myself, but i cannot see this becoming mainstream in a thousand years because of this argument.

@MissMiki I like that we can talk normally about it as people with kind of opposing views. So i'am against multiculturalism ( and i suspect one of the few on this forum ) but i do get where u are coming from because people can go too far and become narrow minded and it becomes unthinking altogether and an automated process to love your country blindly. I also think that is just plain boring so to rebel against that seems only logical and intelligent and i think that you questioned your own cultural beliefs that is very good that does not bother me at all, for me that was a phase and now i came back from it BUT more open minded and relaxed about it. Again i think a certain dose of nationalism is a necessity. For me it is a paradox which i can hold tho, there should be a balance because plainly i think humans are not wired to care about the whole world equally, they care most about family and friends and maybe the nation state but if its hardwired u can't force it out so rucksichtloss so we have to accept it yourself and from others as well and with that i believe in the nation state and that our western culture is something to be protected and i respect patriotism also from other nations as much as i respect it when people have strong healthy personal boundaries as long it is not in an unthinking way. So to remove all borders and make our culture in something that is completely arbitrary and meaningless is to slowly break down society and commit treason. Again tho i think u questioning your own culture critically is very good anyone should do that. I know this is a bit controversial maybe but it is something i thought deeply about and feel it strongly as well ( and well i say whatever the hell i wanna say anyway ).

@MissMiki i'll check that first one out then see if it changes my view. I have to say that in keeping your culture protected is not a bad thing per se i think it can be even very respectful. Take for example the native Americans or the aboriginals i don't know the details but they were probably better off with their own cultures then they are now. So i would say that works both ways i think Islam should stay out mostly from our culture and we should let them be as well and not be arrogant and try to ''civilize'' them it won't work. And then we should treat each other respectfully but with a healthy distance, we can trade, go to travel there, and we can be curious to each other but we should not mingle too much i think and that is not racist, people do that in their personal lives too i think that is just wise.

@MissMiki show me the different story, show me the most positive stuff that would prove me wrong . But that video is the best one i have seen on opposing viewpoint i find it enriching because it deals with data and it is objective but i cannot show you something that would be 100% positive and brings people together.

@zazed maybe this is not the right post to post this and you probably might not watch it but i feel very urged to show it, This is a very good presentation on Islam, its objective and he actually talks in a respectful way about Muslims. Btw my quote was actually that the fanatic debate stoppers and racism screamers should be ridiculed because these people are simply against freedom of speech. Islam should be ridiculed of course just like any other religion because i feel if these institutes have so many followers it should handle criticism if they cannot stand simple objective criticism and a little bit of ridicule then all alarm bells should go off in your mind. anyway i dare you to watch it entirely if you don't like to of course that is fine i don't want to be nag on it. And important if you have a pro Islam piece to show i WILL watch it i promise i want to hear all sides on this discussion because i find this topic interesting.

I am interested in self improvement in all aspects of life health,relationships,making it to my goals. But enlightenment not at the moment there is a problem with it. I can't comprehend it even tho i watched most of Leo's video's on it and i try to understand but it has to be experienced i guess but if i don't know what that feels like or how good it is i don't know if it should compete with more clear goals like making money or getting a good with intimacy or getting skilled at something i really want or getting in better shape. If it is something to be mastered and takes that long to master should it compete with these more tangible goals? If you don't know exactly what you are shooting for it is a big risk too invest so much time and energy into it so that might be a reason. The other more apparent reason is that most people hear something like that and instantly go like ''maybe you should do less drugs ye damn hippie'' which is no reason at all of course . I am probably wrong.....because i don't know what the hell i am talking about namely enlightenment.

Depends how far would u want to go opening up? i always speak freely completely without restraints if i can do that that means true friendship among st other stuff. But i never give my whole soul and being and all my thoughts and i don't want that, the times i did that it felt weird, and i found out that that was not something for me. I always feel more authentic when joking,fooling around and doing activities with my friends. we also talk about problems of course but i don't like to talk too much about feelings. I feel loyalty,acceptance,humor,shared interests are most important and then we don't have to go to deep that is all deep enough.

@Socrates I like that you bring that up you are absolutely right and some people have some kind of pathological need to completely embrace and defend everything that looks kinda exotic i find it absolutely sickening, it is conformity at its worst and the people who are fanatically against questioning ( yes just questioning............ ) Islam should be relentlessly and mercilessly ridiculed yes u read that correctly i mean that. All religions should be investigated as objectively as possible they should be under scrutiny and Islam is especially dubious. As for racism it should be completely obvious that it is absurd, the few true racists i came across were just often really dumb people mostly frustrated with life and externalizing their problems. i cannot discover true malignant racism in the starting post do not call yourself a racist that fast! but you can contemplate why u get that eerie feeling do that i bet its not true racism.

@Shin Pity we all live so far apart otherwise we could do pickup together Do you have a life purpose of some sort that takes up most of your time? so then you could bear your suffering a lot better i think. all the best to you.

@Flare Ok way too many assumptions about me so i think i close it off as i will never be able to make you see that i say reasonable things. Aaah...... you have no idea really. I read your last post completely i assure you and i just don't get your reasoning and too be honest i don't think you even try to understand. So to conclude i stand by my posts for a full 200% as i think i have dealt with any argument you came up with already so to do more is pointless. Let history do its thing w'll see who gets the closest to the truth.

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheTop5ss/videos check out his video's they are really good not your typical top 5's on youtube. I found this one soo strange and creepy .

@Flare Well thank you for the slightly less hysterical reaction this time. I did not say that you literately said that but you talk way to much about Nazi´s and i feel so far removed from that. It also fits our politically correct landscape these days where if you try to mention that bringing millions of people from a different culture in Europe might not be such a good idea u get completely slandered. It is absurd and it kills debate. First of all I never heard any remotely racist thing from any right wing politician in the Netherlands and all say they distance themselves from Nazi´s. The way some of them try to discuss Islam is tasteless indeed but if you try to go immerse yourself a bit in the Islam you discover that it is not a religion of piece, look up Mohammed, look up the sharia, look up what happens in Muslim country´s it is perfectly reasonable to say that maybe we should have less of that and maybe it is a little backwards. Why can we not discuss the content of this religion without being called an islamophobe. We don''t have to have respect for every religion or ideology, do you have respect for Scientology? if you do you are an idiot and a religion with 1,6 billion supporters and being the fastest growing one it should be under close scrutiny. But i don't even think the Muslims are most of the problem actually, the weak establishment is and if they keep looking away things get worse. Your whole argument is full with this, you break your own rules. I am actually fine with it to make a list so that you can see that there maybe is a problem but apparently the list was to short to convince you i guess. But you again you break your own rules, i come up with examples and then you ignore it and you go like, 1. well what about right wing extremists smashing up asylum centers 2. well what about boko haram killing 2000 people 3. what about 1933 so let me go though those, 1. They should be punished of course no doubt about it that is absolutely horrible. 2. question for you. are you the type of person who would twitter right after an attack as first thing on your mind ''i hope the right wing does not abuse this''? i almost don't dare to go there but you make me. What about this, we cannot stop all genocide in the world right away, we cannot take on all the horrible things going on at once, we have to start at least with home and our neighbors with a short term solution but a possible solution nonetheless. It is almost yes almost as if you are saying that there is so much filth going on in the world that to even it out we can take some as well. just roll over and suck it up. after all humanity is all one and as Carl Sagan said ''we are all made of star stuff'' so why not take one for the team. By trying to prevent terror attacks in Europe we would be selfish somehow? are you insane? again we cannot take on every world problem. Would you order 1 fireman to rescue a burning city? where is your logic. 3. The ground for a new Hitler doesn't seem ripe to me, in that example Germany came out of a terrible first world war with countless bitter veterans followed up by massive unemployment and mass inflation. But that is why it is important to take on the problems right now so the real right wing extremists will never get an excuse. So you are actually completely right on that one, i agree i fight the symptom, but that does not have to exclude any long term solutions? we can do them both right? If u get a hart attack it might be because you eat unhealthy,are stressed etc but what needs to happen first is reanimation what does not solve the root cause but without it you die. unfortunately this is where it gets to complicated. Africa's population is expanding rapidly and i have no idea why they insist on making baby's while there is not enough food around. So we have to look into that i'm very interested. and all these crises can have a million causes but that is another topic. Your empathy is without a plan and to me that is useless in this situation. We Cannot get them all here we have to Help them THERE and that is possible. But seems you want them all in? i'm not sure well that is gonna be disastrous because of the reasons i have stated already. I don't know what empathy is to you maybe sit around a campfire and sing songs for the refugee's while holding hands. or a minute of silence for every victim. Now to get truly cynical, did it ever cross your mind that the reasons country's take in so many refugee's might not be out of only empathy but there might be darker reasons such as egoistic virtue signalling in a competition between country's for the favor of their Brussels overlords who can take the most and then rucksightloss silencing any complaints. one of the most suspicious things might be that our government refuses to calculate the cost of the mass immigration because that would be discrimination of course. Or is it just handy to calculate otherwise it could be used against you in a debate. This should arouse at least some suspicion To me empathy is about action that actually has a thought out plan behind it while accepting that you cannot solve all the world's problems immediately all tough you work on them massively behind the scenes. All taken into consideration i do not think we will ever agree i guess the original point was my supposedly lack of integrity well i hope that despite our disagreements you can read where at least i am coming from and that there is logic to my arguments. I am afraid you have strengthened them because i did not see enough logic you make the same mistakes as everyone i had discussions with about the topic and i ultimately don't know what it is that you want. Still thank you for the discussion i found it interesting because you are coming to this from such a different view, we are completely different thinkers that is clear to me so at least i have gotten something out of it. I also want to add that actually we stayed on topic i think because as u can see no matter how much you don't like what i say i took the trouble to immerse myself for a while and then voted so to answer to the original topic i say yes you could vote but think about it very carefully and don't vote out of principle but be more deliberate about it. piece.

@MissMiki hear hear!

@Flare So its all about me, so far you called me Trump, mentioned carefully some stuff about Hitler,in your PM you refer to my "right wing extremist friends'' ( guess that includes my 2 Moroccan fellows as well? ) it is all about me i guess and my horrible behavior. So i have to put a thousand disclaimers on my posts from here on so u know i have nothing to do with the extreme right wing? I was not avoiding the part of my behavior i think that is not that interesting and my question to you was sincere ''What do u suggest is a better solution''? about the video i asked if these things were lies. well i tell you what are not lies in any case - The metro attack on london - The metro attack in Spain - The attack on the german Christmas market - The attack on the jewish school in toulouse - The attack in nice - The recent attack in london - The attack in Brussels - the assasinations on Theo van Gogh and Pim Fortuin here in my own country - Charlie hebdo and on and on and on For these things a few right wing party's here ( what a corrupted word allready that right wing ) Would like to have some border control and real discussions on the Islam. No deportations mind you. And for these reasonable proposals you get slandered come on you can do better. Oh i think the actualized crowd can take it it is a little provocative but that is the reason i asked if it were all true which is a reasonable question. And you are sorry for everyone? Oh how nice u speak for the whole forum. If u read my original posts carefully u can see that there is no real dubious stuff there and i asked you what are your better solutions? maybe you are right, maybe my modest proposals were somehow not right well then point it out. I thought we were debating a possible solution. Let me try to nuance it a bit. first I think we need to be selective in who we can let in for a while so we can solve the problems we all ready have with less strain on them. it is a short term solution but needed for any long term solution that we can come up with i argue. second If north Africans are over represented in crime and terror attacks it is important to not deny it and it maybe means a culture clash that is too big, so for now we should limit this culture not by smashing up mosques but just close borders for now so our culture stays the dominant one also for future generations with all its own faults we have to work on. You say ''we'' are robbing them well the solution to that is stop robbing them but not let them all in when u think about it that is the more humane and considerate way then let them in and then leave em to their own devices here. We have to shelter them in the region and we should invest there because again same culture/10 times cheaper/mind you the big mostly unused air conditioned tentcamp near mekka for their pilgrimages why is it not in use? we could help them right there and we should. The big problem the establishment is not doing this so we have to make bit of a statement and that is my reason for voting. So would you like to say something constructive or shall we psychoanalyze my persona a bit more. Is this not a great opportunity for self actualization by means of discussion? i'm enjoying this. your turn.

@Flare OK lots of stuff i could address but lets make it constructive then i am an open minded person do you have any idea's how to improve things in another way, any suggestions that might be better? i would like to hear it. Also Are these lies? u say not much of a problem these migrants so is this not true?

@Flare Aye it is hard to not get political here but i don't have a problem with people completely disagreeing with me actually i like that very much i have not had a decent discussion on this without being labeled. People from Morocco are by definition not scum of course and i tell you i even worked with several in my life and i liked them very much i work with one right now and we have decent respectful discussions about the Islam i think that is a breath of fresh air. No party officially states that they are scum by definition and i don't know where you heard that i definitely did not hear that and if i would i would not vote for such a person. However they are over represented in the crime statistics and that is only the reported stuff it is up to 7 times higher and there are ghetto's here you don't want to be there you so you could say statistically there is more scum amongst them and you would be factually right. What these right parties want is to have control over the borders again and not let more migrants in from these country's i think seen the problems that is a pragmatic solution to a practical problem. Now left parties talk much about empathy well what about empathy for the people living in these area's the asylum seekers come to live. Not a word and if u complain u get the label of being someone reacting from the underbelly, a stupid right winger and more. The left are just as good bullies. more reasons and thoughts about this problem - What about the higher birthrate of these ethnic groups? how much are there in 50 years? are we a minority? - Islamic violence is increasing here in Europe u don't know how much terrorists are hiding between these people - for the rest what are they gonna do here? is there a future for them here? well think about it no job,no houses,other climate,other language,other values where is their future perspective? I never heard a true long term plan for the future perspectives for these people from leftists when i discuss this i get only incoherent emotional reactions. - sheltering these refugees is 10 times cheaper in country's like Saudi Arabia and with same value's/culture there. That country wont do it they should help. - Islam i think is also something which need to be discussed and when the left states they want to talk they really mean a very comfortable conversation where noone gets upset because no actual content is being discussed. well there needs to be a discussion about the content of Islam with their leaders. Islam had no reformation and this should be looked into. I would be willing to give Islam the benefit of the doubt if they would discuss the content, the person i have discussions with will not really go into that and that bugs me because i am not seeking to hurt his feelings not at all i want to learn. the right wing agree's mostly that Islam is completely backwards and u might get hurt by that BUT you know maybe it is and they should be allowed to say it freely and if Muslims are so incredibly sure of their religion they could defend it also completely freely. These are some reasons i did that vote i thought about it for some time. But feel free to disagree with me i would like to hear well thought out reasons for completely open borders i think it is a dangerous plan look what happens in Sweden or Germany or France and if u say there are not that many yet consider this for future generations if their birthrate is higher and you can count on constant new influxes of migrants. For the ones we have now we can work with much better i think and can give them a better future if they accept our value's but the pressure has to be off first. So where in all these reasons is the racism and the bullying? this is a practical problem. So my integrity is fully intact.