Principium Nexus

@WaveInTheOcean Thank you for replying! I would prefer to call it an experience rather than a trip since I don't like the association with "drugs" that people directly force when they hear the word trip, but it sure was one big journey haha! The trip has changed much about my perspective on life, mainly what it is all about, how it functions and that we are really limited to our own imagination. Before this experience I was really atheist, from early age I was really fascinated with science and couldn't really grasp what any religion was really about outside being some mythological stories that help people to live better with each other. After the experience I was obsessed with finding different views of what reality could be and also my interest of psychedelics peaked due to their enourmous strenght to transform ones experience temporary. A short period after the trip I had some trouble like you also say with placing stuff in everyday life, some things feel unnatural and you have to re-invent how to behave in certain ways, which was really hard from time to time. But what it really showed me during that time of becoming so aware of previously natural behaviour is why we do it and how it arises. It was like I had been given a second chance of preceiving how it is to be a child but from a more understanding perspective. It offered me a chance to conciously redesign how I control my body with much more control than before. My empathy for everything in this reality has been growing ever since. I still have my moments of falling back to hating some situations but I can't really blame anyone for it anymore. All the misery people project is their own suffering and I feel deep empathy for that their situation is unfortunate. Everybody looks for one thing and that is love, when the world is out of balance we do the opposite which is fear. You cannot hate anyone for fearing his own existence. All the terrorist attacks are a direct result because they fear and find anything except love or certainty for their existence. It is sad that people have to go so far to take their own lives to give their last hope that any act will religiously be fullfilled. They do it from pure existential crisis and probably want to invoke change, but fail to do it in a good manner. Those are some things I can clearly see now and reconfirms that we have to talk more with each other. Between any nation, religion or whatever. +What was your dosage? If i'm correct I took around 12g magic truffels, it's not a really heavy dose but what is really important is your intention. Being conciously aware of what you experience can get you to much deeper levels of the psychedelic state than doing big heroic doses. They can bring you deep, but I see that they can also be very confusing and are almost too hard to integrate. Meditation and Psychedelics go really well, if you master the psychedelic state you can do anything. There is no mountain larger than the mind you have to conquer and live with. I have also great respect for shamanism, they handle with so many emotions when for example guiding persons that are being healed, without meditation they would be nowhere. +Problems with sleeping? I cannot recall I had much issue with sleeping. I might have been disturbed for a while in general for what I found, but I think my vividness increased in general for lucid dreaming. +Have you tried LSD and how does it compare to shrooms? I did try several analogues of LSD; AL-LAD, 1P-LSD and probably LSD-25 but I didn't got it tested by an official lab. From my experience the Lysergic family (LSD) is more structured and the experience feels more "synthetic" than for example shrooms. Shrooms are harder to control people say in general but therefor also offer you to go to unseen places, which you may like or not. LSD feels geometrically straight like sharp edges and distinct objects whereas shrooms are really morphing and have more natural colours. They can also be sedative while LSD is quite energetic. LSD feels like you get really awake to experience the physical world and shrooms to go more for introspection and a trance like experience. I could imagine that tripping on shrooms with a eye mask and some music can bring you an intense introspective trip. Therapeutically speaking this is much better to handle than for example the overwhelming outside impulses that can enter your LSD experience. Life is just really fascinating and I'm really looking forward to just only grasp that tiny amount of understanding that we can gain during this life time. I want to integrate this all into my life in every aspect, helping and loving people in general is what I want and that also give me the feeling of purpose which I didn't acknowledge before. I want to say that psychedelics are a tool and a master, you will find yourself in every aspect of the experience and learn from that. Important is that you don't over do it if you think you don't immediately find something useful. Give it time, they will call you back when you are ready again.

Must watch, if you enjoyed this there is an application called "Headspace" which helps you guide during a meditation. For beginners this is excellent, because you stop thinking for a while and can enter a trance if you really follow what he is saying.

Kabbalah might be what you seek. I don't proclaim it as any truth but it certainly is interesting to read. https://www.kabbalah.com/what-kabbalah

If life is only but a dream, then define a dream? Life is filled with infinite perspectives, each equally true.

I have been meditating now for several years with some sessions of meditation over 5 hours straight. Meditation is a tool that when learned you will be able to clear all the everyday chatter from the more deeply emotional feelings, which can sometimes be very annoying, but also shows a challenge that when mastered you are more and more able to self-realize. You learn the most during the time when you indeed get crazy about sitting still or thinking it is enough because these are the exact cause that cause procrastination and other "unfocused" thoughts. You have to understand it is not "meditation" making you mad, everything you do is you and since you acknowledge that you don't like what you find there is the possibility to do inner work, or chose to ignore it while it still affects your thoughts in some deeper level. In short, your doing the correct thing! Try to embrace the silence and let it be.

@___ Wow I didn't know there was a word for that. I can relate to so much stuff about agoraphobia. Good thing is that we are all here to help each other growing knowledge, healing. I think the combination of all of these things is a good step towards improvement of any situation of well-being.

Working on various skills like making art (drawing, painting, writing) are great self-development tools. Making music is great for translating emotions into physical reality and therefor very good as reflection. All these creative skills are great in reflecting on your own ideas, but also how you depict the world. If you focus on recreating scenes from real life in creative arts you increase your awareness about the small details since you are slowly learning how structures are build (geometrically/relations/emotionally). People often overlook the importance of creativity since it might not be as applicable as earning money, but it helps great amounts with understanding your own emotions which is essential for thoughtful behaviour. Additionally reading various books to greaten your knowledge about how reality works; scientifically, economically, spiritually, etc. is required to have a great background knowledge to be able to understand certain decisions/events/situations that are related to your life, but also how to improve those. Good to note is that when reading anything you should never critisise it before hand since it will immediatly close you off to some insight it might offer. Like other people said above, working on your physcial body is good to also improve your mental health, they go hand in hand. Lastly, socializing is important to keep structure to your self-development. Talking on forums is a good way to talk with people about subjects you would normally not talk about with anybody in your direct environment, but direct contact is also important.