I think i’ve had lots of experience with women. From 16 to 20 i was going to clubs and get laid very often (mostly just kissing but some times fucking also). I think that problem is more that i feel guilt because of my gambling addiction and that i didn’t appreciate my girlfriend (she was my second serious girlfriend). We got back together last year after our first real breakup and i said that if we want to be good again we need to work on ourselves (because she was with another guy while we were separate and it was hard for me to forget that, and i had lost lots of money by that time and it was hard for her to forget that) . But she hated the idea to work on ourselves because she saw that i was reading so much psychology but still made fucking sport bets (hardcore gamblers could agree with me that if you bet much money and win it’s often more exciting than sex). She wanted already settle down and start family because she said that her biological clock is ticking and she has already 26. But i wasn’t ready emotionally and because of my gambling – financially also.
So she finally left me and i understood that i need to change and do some practical moves to improve myself. So i started to meditate and in this summer i will finally get engineer’s degree.
By spiritual work i do meditation, watch videos on enlightenment and read Osho VERY much. I want to get even more into spirituality to feel happy and fulfilled by myself and diminish my guilt and don’t get jealous because she already has a new boyfriend.
