Gladius

@studentofthegame Thanks buddy! Really appreciate it. I don't think she's the one, but it definitely was a fun weekend, we learned from each other and we could be good friends at least.

I had to take a decision this week. One of my struggles is with relationships. Last week I met a girl in a party, there were good vibrations and we end up kissing. She is from another town. We talked about meeting again and on Saturday I'm making a 3 hours train trip to spend the night with her. My main concern is if I'm wasting time, since I'm not 100% sure of this relationship.

@Mind of a beast Thank you! My life purpose is screenwriting, and my current job has absolutely nothing to do with it. Nope, I didn't quit yet. Even though I hate it, I decided to stop whining and working hard until I could find a more creative job. I learned to accept the situation, and see the value in it: I'm saving money and keep being a man in demand. In the past I quit jobs with no alternative other than staying at home and it didn't work for me. Change must come gradually.

I've read the whole thing and it's more inspiring than any stupid marvel movie. Keep it up!

I'm feeling quite optimistic lately. Summer has started, I'm almost done with my screenwriting course and I had some "ahà" moments that changed my mindset. My mission now is just to mantain this momentum. At the same time, I've been faced with some decisions lately and I chose using my intuition but also from a position of love and compassion, things never factored in before. I'm starting to believe change is possible. This is the mood this week:

From my experience NoFap has dramatically improved my life in many ways. Now I'm fapping according to Tao: once a week for a man in his thirties.

Just be aware of how much your life will improve after quitting porn. I haven't watched it for five months now and I'm happier, more confident and energetic than ever before. Women can also secretly tell if you're a wanker and, spoiler alert, they hate it.

Sounds good. Being in a relationship with someone you really like is rare and valuable.

Hey buddy! I just follow my breath and observe my thoughts until there is not anymore. I'm not sure how this is called. Do nothing maybe? If I have time in the morning I just play a guided meditation from youtube.

@Chi_ Yes, that's my intention. Thanks mate.

@Chi_ thanks for your reply. I think my meditation habit is quite strong at the moment. Since last December I didn't miss a single day meditating one way or another for at least 15 minutes. I guess I'm learning how to handle my new level of consciousness, if that makes sense.

Format change: I'm considering the previous 3 goals outdated. Of course I could relapse, but my awareness since I started is higher and I prefer to use this journal to reflect bigger aspects of my life. I do feel I'm gaining control of my mind. It's been a slow process but worth it. Maybe it's because I had a long lunch with a good old friend, but I feel energized and optimistic today. My challenge for this week will be simply to act more and think less. Living in my head caused so much trouble you guys can't even imagine. It's turn to change the game.

@Michael569 besides working I spent a lot of time and energy working on a literary project, so my question is how can I charge batteries when I'm not doing that. @Shroomdoctor I shouldn't have used the word "productive", but "healthy" instead. I'm trying to quit a couple addictions, and noticed my body demands something equally toxic. Therefore I'm figuring out new ways to spend the time available.

Ok yeah, that's something to start with. Thank you guys.

Here I go again. - Meditation habit is definitely integrated in my life. I'll cross it out from the list and consider it a huge success, meaning I spend 15 minutes every single day sitting with myself and observing my mind. From now on I'll just focus in the other two until they are in control: - NoFap: Still relapsing too often. I spend days not thinking about it. The problem arise when I have an upcoming date or I anticipate sex somehow. Then I feel the urge and I usually fall for it, which is totally counterproductive. That's why I want to be more in control of this. Porn is out of my life for a month now though and keeping it that way. - Phone addiction: I can still find myself idle scrolling on social media, but I think I'm not wasting as much time as before. Besides, most of this time I'm just being active on Twitter, at least pushing a bit of creativity there. However, my goal is to avoid my constantly checking on the phone and use it only when necessary. Keep moving forward! See you in June!

I'm on board, I'm all in.

@Zigzag Idiot thank you sir. Yes, I managed to incorporate a meditation habit, this has been huge to me. @studentofthegame Yeah, my intention was to at least develope the meditation habit, and bring awareness on a couple "addictions". I'm following you as well buddy, sure it's inspiring to know I'm not alone in this journey. We got it.

Goals update: Meditation: Haven't skipped a single day since last december. NoFap: I can't help to do it when I'm having hard time sleeping, so need to work on that one. It definitely messes with my energy. Phone addiction: Still finding excuses to check it too often. Right now my highest priority though is to shift careers. My current job is well paid but stresses me a lot. Even though I have free time, I spend most of it just couch binging, sine I have no energy left. I'm working on that and I do believe it will be possible in September / October, but it's gonna be a long summer.

I have now almost 3 weeks vacation from work. I'm using this time to advance in my creative projects, catch up with interesting people and get in shape. Reading over this journal it might look like I'm nuts, but it's just a useful tool to keep myself accountable about what I'm doing with my free time.

Good insights about yourself. I recently learned to use nights out and alcohol strategically, if that makes sense. I do it from time to time, always from a healthy and conscious position of relaxation and charging batteries. Keep it up.

Weekly update: Meditation: 15 minutes of daily meditation, just observing my mind. It does feel better. NoFap: Definitely backsliding with this one. When I really kept the vow, I felt more confident and energetic, so I'll focus on that. Social media addiction: I'm now spending a lot of time in twitter. I think that's better at least than Instagram or Facebook. Still I spend too much time on the phone.

I am working now five nights in a row, before I grabbed two weeks of vacations. I realized I turn to self help when I have bad days, like most of people I guess. I learned today that if I want something it's not (only) what I do. I have to BE the person who deserves that job or that relationship. Therefore, I'll keep me accountable every single day for every action I do. I've been all m life waiting to be that person. I am already.

Weekly update: Meditation: Sticking to daily 15 minutes of either guided meditation or just breathing. NoFap: Masturbation not more than once a week. Not watching porn. Social media addiction pretty much under control. Since I deleted Facebook and Instagram apps from my phone, it felt better. Now I'm too much on twitter though. I'm just curious where my attention will be if I also delete it. As I said in my last post, anxiety is growing bigger lately. I really struggle to keep up with a job that is draining my soul and at the same time working on my creative goals. Besides, my social life is resenting. I know I need patience, but hope to see some results soon, even tiny ones. This evening I fought anxiety getting into the movies to watch the last avengers movie. It kinda worked. I did prefer Captain Marvel though. And that made me wonder why I ressonate so much with women and LGBT.

@studentofthegame Learning to say "no" is huge. Not only for yourself, but others pick on that energy and respect you more.