Guanine

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Everything posted by Guanine

  1. For quite some time now, like many many others, I've had the problem of perceiving strangers in public as angry, or perhaps snide, prideful or even mocking. I am unsure as to how accurate this perception is; although I admit that it's probably inaccurate, and undoubtedly skewed by my fearful lense through in which I view the world. For example, when I am in public, there are the rare instances in which I accidentally do make eye contact with strangers, and I feel as though they irradiate an aura of anger or general discontentment. Of course, I swiftly guide my eyes to the ground, and avoid eye contact the rest of the time. Of course, others strangers could perceive my face as being angry; however, my solution to this dilemma is to simply avoid eye contact, and hide my face by looking away. With this being done, the worst people could perceive me as would be perhaps emotionally wounded or fearful; which is quite a bit better than to be thought of as an asshole with a permanent sneer on one's face. So yes, my current solution is to simply avoid eye contact at all costs to simply avoid the circumstance in which other people view my facial expression as reeking of malice and choler. I've come to the conclusion that I might have a problem with reading facial expressions; although, I can acknowledge very basic facial expressions such as happiness or sadness. Perhaps my skills of nonverbal emotional perception simply needs to be calibrated. But nevermind that for now; as a socially adept person would probably tell me ignore a given stranger with a seemingly angry expression or unfortunately has the case of RBF (Resting Bitch Face) syndrome. Sure, I could try to ignore the nonverbal interaction, however, the obstacle that hinders me from completely ignoring the experience would be, well, the somatic sensations of fear. In other words, my body tightens, and I feel fearful and vulnerable. So in essence, I would look at a stranger with a perceived foul facial expression, then I would conceptually acknowledge that I shouldn't feel ashamed or fearful, as that person's angry expression is simply their problem and not mine. However, my body does not acknowledge this, and I get a dose of adrenaline, and hence, the sympathetic nervous system is engaged, and eventually, the freeze response manifests, and consequently, my posture worsens, and my body becomes very tight and numb; especially my eyes, neck, throat and shoulders. In rare occurrences however, I may even experience a headache. I've been trying to mitigate this response by mindfully observing my somatic sensations, and eagerly trying to connect with them as opposed to being consumed by personal narratives and stories. However, the feeling of fear is too jarring in my opinion, and every time I try to mindfully observe my body sensations and concentrate on my breath, I become ungrounded, and the culmination of impartial awareness I was trying to impart eventually fades away, and I'm back to square one. I've also tried diaphragmatic breathing; which is supposed to activate the wandering vagus nerve of the body which is closely related to the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system; the portion of the nervous system that incites the rest and digest response. It consists of basically breathing through your belly much like how infants breathe. I'm sure most of us here has experienced this, however, has anyone made any significant improvement in mitigating the anxiety response in a myriad of different situations? At this point, any inkling of improvement would sate my desires; as all I ask for is to feel calm and grounded for most of the time.
  2. Thanks for the response. I haven't smiled at strangers per-say, however, I have nodded at them. Some nod back while others don't. Whilst doing this, my eye contact was at best, fleeting. And speaking of shadow work, I have heard of it mentioned by some. I don't really know a lot about it, but I suppose that trying this method may be for the best.
  3. For me, I try to focus on body sensations, but at times, I can't maintain the awareness of the body. Diaphragmatic breathing is also a plus, but likewise, my focus on breathing dwindles, and it spirals up to conjuring mental narratives. Dealing with anxiety is tough. Essentially, I think it's about not identifying with mental narratives, and expanding awareness. I conceptually understand this stuff, and at times, it works, but it doesn't work long enough. There might be some crucial points that I have failed to mention, but that is my take on the issue of anxiety. Hopefully, we will prevail, and our crippling anxiety will no longer prevent us from living life to the fullest.