YaNanNallari

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Everything posted by YaNanNallari

  1. @Soulbass Doesn't mean we need to or should follow that way too much though. Just saying
  2. I had a date today and I wrote some issues with it mostly to clear my thoughts, but if you feel like reading a possibly boring post go ahead. So I'm 18 m and quite inexperienced in dating and sexual relationships. Socially I'm not that active on my free time but I have good social skills. (just fyi) I had a date after a stressful school day (ended with a listening comprehension in which you really have to focus) and I was unable to get myself to enjoy the intimacy I had with her unlike in the previous times I had seen her. I was just stuck in a slightly stressful state in which I can focus and do stuff very efficiently and feel very independant, but in which I have no sense of humor and I get annoyed/confused easily. I had met this girl on a couple hangouts before. She had wanted to take it slow by her own words. Today we kissed after a lot of buildup, since we had seen each other a couple times already and it was at the end of the date. She really liked it, but to me it kind of felt like nothing to my surprise. Like I said I hadn't enjoyed the intimacy today, even though I was aware of this at that moment and I had some feelings with her before. This was most likely due to that stressful state. I'd however really want to sort of make the best of our time together, cause I'm not up to spending hours on hours a week with her, so would you have any tips or experiences in overcoming this feeling and relaxing or opening up easier? I know the feeling has been common for me in the past, but not so much lately. It doesn't feel like I've held this feeling back either though. I also know that just letting the feeling be might be the best thing to do. Would appreciate any thoughts if you have any.
  3. I think I figured it out now. I have been holding on to perfectionism which gave me an excuse and kept me stuck.
  4. Possibly go watch Leo's "Awareness alone is curative"
  5. There might have been a study about the 40 hour rule. It's not hard to figure out however that it depends a lot on the persons way of thinking. Since they were likely quite average their thinking patterns might have been very neurotic and source of motivation might have been horrible. If you are able to think in not so stressful ways you'll obviously burn out less.
  6. I don't know if the following videos are easy to get or optimal for beginners, but the video on the illusory nature of thought and videos about moralizing have helped me the most lately.
  7. They are likely to just turn into another addiction, but it is possible to make up your mind about quitting smoking for sure. It is also possible to completely do it in one go, but usually it takes mental preparation and learning stuff to do.
  8. @IndependantKouhai @Siim Land I think it depends a lot on the topic of the book how quickly one can comprehend the information read and figure out how the information is relevant. Most of all I'd recommend to not be afraid to skim past the irrelevant parts. One thing that might cause a negative reaction towards speed reading is that it seems kind of stressful. It easily seems achievement focused, which isn't the thing to go for. It might also creates thoughts like "what if I miss something?" while trying to read fast. I think speed reading has kind of a gray line with reading as slow as necessary while understanding it as it can only be personally judged if it's working or not. Comprehension also often takes some time between reading and it was left kind of unclear if there's time for thinking about what was said in the book. I get a feeling of not agreeing with Siim's goal of gaining wisdom if we think wisdom is what he said. Reading with that mindset might result in easily dismissing information, if it doesn't seem usefull at that moment or you can't see its use. He still definitely still holds a point though. I'd go for compreheding a lot of stuff with any required effort, but afterwards going through those ideas to figure out how they can be used for practical things. This can open new sides to them as well. These were just some thoughts and I got to say this is an interesting subject to argue for both sides. To summarize I'd say read as slow as necessary, comprehend with time and depending on what you're reading make notes (or don't) about any practical implementations.
  9. You don't get enlightened to have a nice afterlife. After "we" die nothing happens (most likely). Not getting enlightened is only "bad" for us in our current lives. I'm sure you'll get a lot more understanding from Leo's videos if you're interested.
  10. Being relaxed makes you more creative
  11. Yeah, as someone said even if she won't move on make sure you do.
  12. Maybe tell us why watch those videos and what they're about?
  13. I wouldn't call this an addiction, although I guess it's similiar. Anyway just know that every time you're resisting the urge you're making progress. Have you meditated using long determination sitting? (if that was what it's called). It's introduced in a Leo's video, in the list above do nothing technique called boost meditation or sth. I think that could help with this especially.
  14. Understanding how and why people are valued is obviously great. This will set a base that will help with this problem. Personally I noticed the same issue and made a quick fix by reducing or increasing my level of arrogance. What I'm trying to get towards now is seeing myself in a way in which I don't necessarily have to be anything. I don't have to be smart, good looking, funny etc. This allows me to just work with what I have instead of being anxious over it. Also watch Leo's video on comparing yourself to others. That will probably help.
  15. In case you forgot/haven't seen Leo has a video on intuition or higher self etc. Those might help you define what you should do
  16. My ego feels superior yes. However I can pretty much always notice, question and work on it whenever such a situation arises.
  17. I think generally you just want to accept negative thoughts. You often attract what you deny
  18. I don't think this is true. Having one goal to focus on at a time is good however but in a different way. For example if you're playing a new videogame with a lot of different difficult mechanics and techniques if you try to focus on all of them you'll simply not be able to do it. This is when it's good to focus on one or two things only because otherwise your focus can't keep up. However if you are doing those things in separate times as you are now I think it's completely fine to have multiple goals and things to focus on. Just be forgiving to yourself if you miss something and do it immediately or as soon as possible when you remember it again. This is just how I do it though.
  19. I think it's your intuition peeking in and saying "Hey, you know better than this". So follow it and change things up!
  20. Have you wondered what and why is actually in the end important in life? What are you doing it all for? If it's not emotions then what and are those things actually meaningful?
  21. And it sure was. Woke up with a completely different mindset compared to before (which was pretty bad).
  22. Im just gonna say that you should probably face your fear of going to the gym. Go there and try it. Otherwise I personally don't know which one is better but I prefer a mix of both.
  23. This might sound weird but even if you were to be crazy you might not be as crazy as you think. It also might not be that unusual. It probably is a lot more understandable than you think. What I'm saying is that there is a bright side to this as well and you don't have to see it as a thing that's going to take your life down with it and it's going to be alright.
  24. Remember that you have a lot to learn as well. Learn from their mistakes as well and see where you do them yourself. Also if you want to still socialize try to not be so picky with smaller things. Leo's video on projection might help with that although you may have already watched it.